The SmackDown Report

It sure hasn’t been Edge’s week. First he loses the World Heavy Weight Championship. Secondly, he gets publicly neutered by Vickie “I didn’t give you permission” Guerrero …

So, Trevor Murdoch has been released? Well, that’s a kick in the maracas. I liked Murdoch, and now I’ll never get to see the trio of he, Jesse and Festus. I don’t get why they didn’t keep Murdoch – but then again he doesn’t have the look or anything. Sigh.

Fourth of July style opening for SmackDown? Isn’t that usually saved for Great American Bash?

The ring ropes are red, white and blue for the Fourth of July. And also in celebration, we’ve got Matt Hardy defending the US Belt!

We start off with the V.I.P Lounge. MVP runs the usual “Big things poppin, better than you” opening for the V.I.P Lounge, and Porter says his guest tonight is definitely one of the best and has the 12 Championship reigns to back it up, Triple H. Porter and Trips make themselves comfortable and Porter congratulates Trips on his successful title defence against Cena and welcomes him to SmackDown. Porter says that V.I.P is the highest rated interview segment on SmackDown, and Trips says that he’s a big fan of Porter’s and he’s a class act. Trips even digs the Power Ranger schtick he dresses in, and he says that’s why all the kids love him. Porter calls it world class apparel, it’s high tech, and Trips says it’s cutting edge technology but it’s a bit of a performance enhancer and he might get thirty days off after a visit from Doctor Black. Ha.

Porter says it must bug Trips to be getting interviewed by someone who’s been here for two years and has already earned more money. Trips says he’s preferring to go down at 12 time champion rather than a big waste of money. Trips says he’s here to get a rub off of Porter, ha, and then introduces some special footage. Porter takes offence and then demands the footage be run. Classic. The footage is of the awesome opening from RAW this week as well as the JBL shenanigans. Porter and Trips make some Punk / Straight Edge puns. Vickie interrupts and isn’t happy about the weak puns. Trips says he’s been looking forward to meeting Vickie and congratulates her on her wedding, and says Edge is a genius for marrying the boss to get ahead in business and asks who thinks of that kind of stuff. Ba boom ching! Trips suggests that she and Edge go to Vegas, he knows this great place that you don’t even need to be conscious for – ha! 10 year old references rule. Vickie runs down Edge’s recent accomplishments over Undertaker and Batista. Trips calls Vickie a big step up from the other girls Edge has dated, and Vickie tells Porter and Trips to shut up before booking Trips vs. Edge for the WWE Championship at Great American Bash.

Commercials.

We finally see the Diva’s Championship. It looks oddly badass (it‘s a bit bad ass by extremely feminine terms), as far as a belt with a Butterfly face belt can look at least. It sure as hell stands out compared to the other belts, that’s for sure.

Golden Star Match: Michelle McCool vs. Victoria vs. Cherry vs. Maryse vs. Kelly Kelly
Natalya w/ new hair is at ringside. Mc goes for the star right away, but Victoria tosses her outside. Kelly with a nice dropkick top Victoria. Cherry stops Victoria from going for the star and even shocks the world by nailing a superplex! Maybe Cherry is a wrestler after all? Maryse with a short arm clothesline to Mc Kelly and Cherry with a double team electric chair drop to Maryse. Mc stops Victoria from getting the star and drops her jaw first on the apron. Cherry and Kelly argue over going for the star for a few moments before the pair just nail weak forearms. Victoria with the flipping leg drop to Cherry. Victoria again goes for the belt but Mc prevents it, both are on the top turnbuckle but Kelly pushes them off. Mc kicks Maryse off the top rope before Mc climbs and gets the star!
Winner: Michelle McCool

So, we know WHO is in the match – we still don’t even know WHEN the match will happen. The match wasn’t too cluttered, but nothing more than acceptable. Three out of Ten.

Vickie Guerrero is NOT happy at Hawkins and Ryder, and says what happened on RAW is all their fault. Vickie books them up against Jesse and Festus next.

Meanwhile, Edge has arrived at the arena and everyone is looking at him.

Commercials.

Tonight: Fatal 4th July Way for the United States Championship. Matt Hardy defends against Shelton Benjamin, Mr. Kennedy and Chavo Guerrero.

Foley and JR discuss “the Moscow Mauler”, Vladimir Koslov. They run a very nice little video package. You know, if they put Koslov against some of the bigger guys – like Show or even Khali and Umaga – they could make him to be a hell of a star I think.

Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder vs. Jesse and Festus
Festus is dressed up like Uncle Sam, taking over Torrie Wilson’s usual job. Hawkins and Ryder try double teaming Festus first but Festus obliterates them and tags Jesse in. Jesse in with a flying clothesline for a brief pinfall over Ryder. Jesse fights both brothers off but Ryder dropkicks him to the outside. Hawkins is made the legal man and sends Jesse into the ring. Jesse gets sent face first into Ryder’s knee. Ryder with a Russian leg sweep for a two count over Jesse. Festus gets tagged in with clubs to Ryder. Festus with the corner avalance and running shoulder block. Festus head buts Ryder into Hawkins. “Flying Biscuit”, a.k.a. the butt drop, leads into the flipping Fireman’s for the three count.
Winners: Jesse and Festus

Was there, nothing bad but didn’t stand out. Two out of Ten. Metalingus by Alter Bridge begins playing, and Hawkins and Ryder attack Jesse from behind! Edge comes down and spears Festus before he whips him with his belt! Hawkins and Ryder hold Jesse back, making him watch as Edge brings a chair into the ring and clobbers Festus with it.

Commercials.

Edge is backstage with Vickie. Vickie is trying to relax Edge, saying that he’s got a match for the WWE Championship at Great American Bash. Vickie says what happened on RAW was kind of stupid … and that she didn’t give him permission to be on RAW! Ouch! Damn woman, why not just rip his nads off with your bare hands and save him the humiliation? Even the crowd are shocked she said that. Edge snaps back at Vickie, and Vickie says he needs to watch who he’s talking to because she is still the boss. Vickie says Edge made a fool out of himself. Awkward moment before Edge storms out … Now that’s cool.

Jeff Hardy returns to SmackDown: NEXT

Commercials.

Another recap of the draft.

Jeff Hardy vs. John Morrison
JR compares Morrison to Rick Rude and Mr. Perfect, while Foley keeps going on about cheese grating abs. Crowd are firmly behind Hardy. Lock up and Morrison knees Hardy right away before nailing a nice uppercut. Hardy off the ropes with a shoulder block to Morrison. Lock up and Morrison gets a takedown on Hardy before Morrison begins targeting the arm. Hardy reverses a hammerlock into a headlock, Morrison gets a wristlock on Hardy so Hardy uses the ropes for an acrobatic flip before sending Morrison outside. Hardy off the apron with a flying cross body to Morrison. Back in the ring, Hardy gets the ten count punches in the corner. Morrison blocks the double leg drop through the middle of the legs and turns it into a Sunset Flip esque pin for a brief count. Morrison with a running knee to the face of Hardy. Hardy to his feet only to get taken down by a knee to the chest from Morrison. Morrison misses the springboard heel kick and Hardy does get the Mule Kick. Morrison blocks the swinging dropkick in the corner and throws Hardy outside.

Commercials.

We’re back and Morrison has a arm lock on Hardy. Hardy tries to fight back and goes up top but misses the Whisper In The Wind, Morrison covers for a two count. Morrison goes right back to targeting the arm, setting Hardy on the apron and kicks away at it before hooking it with the bottom rope and applying pressure. Morrison with a nice arm breaker for a two count. Hardy reverses an arm lock attempt with a school boy for a two count. Morrison with uppercuts to Hardy’s arm, before reapplying an arm lock. Morrison goes to the second turnbuckle, poses and goes for a hurricanrana but Hardy turns it into a power bomb! Hardy with clotheslines and a Russian Leg Sweep for a one count over Morrison. Hardy gets the Whisper In The Wind for the two count. Hardy blocks the Swinging Neckbreaker by nailing a face buster, and the Swanton ends this!
Winner: Jeff Hardy

Just isn’t the same without Melina and the Intercontinental Championship like their awesome series from 2006. However, since then both have matured and improved as singles wrestlers, and for all accounts that was a quality television match, but it just felt like it was missing something. Might just be my opinion, though. Seven out of Ten.

Still to come: Matt Hardy defends the United States Championship against Chavo Guerrero, Shelton Benjamin and Mr. Kennedy.

Commercials.

Umaga vs. Funaki
Funaki gets a pair of boots to Umaga, but Umaga clotheslines him down. Umaga with a super kick to Funaki. Ass Avalanche! Samoan Spike ends it.
Winner: Umaga

-Five out of Ten. Not even my Umaga markoutedness got this match anything.

Edge is backstage with Hawkins and Ryder, and he is not happy about Vickie saying she didn’t give him permission. A stage hand tells Edge that Vickie wants to see him. He slowly makes his way to her office, and Edge isn’t happy about being “summoned”. Edge reminds her about when she was Long’s lap dog and how he helped her get there, and he calls himself the real GM of SmackDown. Vickie asks Edge the sacrifices what she’s made because of him, her back is always messed up and in the wheelchair because of him Edge yells for Vickie to shut up! Vickie stands up to Edge and yells for him to get out … Edge walks out and goes to return, but Vickie has locked the door. Edge begins yelling for Vickie to open the door, but she doesn’t. Edge kicks the door before storming off.

Commercials.

July 4th Fatal Four Way Match: United States Championship: Mr. Kennedy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Chavo Guerrero w/ Bam Neely vs. Matt Hardy (Champion)
Guerrero pairs off with Hardy while Benjamin and Kennedy head to an opposite corner. Kennedy with a scoop slam, Hardy suplexs Guerrero onto Benjamin. Kennedy and Hardy lock up. Hardy gets a headlock, off the ropes with a shoulder block. Kennedy misses a kick but nails another. Kennedy with a clothesline to Guerrero, Kennedy with a clothesline to Hardy and Benjamin with a super kick to Kennedy. Benjamin with a backbreaker to Hardy. Guerrero with a nice spinning head scissors to Benjamin. Benjamin goes for a power bomb but Guerrero turns it into a sunset. Benjamin goes for a pinfall on Guerrero but Hardy gets a sunset flip on Benjamin. Side Effect to Guerrero, flipping Samoan to Benjamin. Hardy and Kennedy take each other down with clotheslines as we head to commercials.

Commercials.

We’re back and Kennedy whips Guerrero into the corner for a clothesline. Kennedy with a shoulder body toss on Guerrero. Hardy goes up top but Kennedy stops him early on, Kennedy goes for a superplex while Benjamin hits Kennedy with a power bomb. Guerrero takes advantage of the situation by trying to pin both Hardy and then Kennedy. Guerrero tosses Kennedy outside and then goes at Benjamin. Guerrero off the ropes into a T-Bone from Benjamin, but Neely puts the foot on the ropes before the pinfall means anything. Benjamin heads outside to have a go at Neely. Guerrero breaks the Three Amigos on Hardy to knock Benjamin off the apron, before nailing the third and final suplex. Guerrero goes up top, Kennedy tries stopping him but Guerrero tosses him down to the ring. Frog Splash on Hardy and the pinfall is broken by Kennedy.

Hardy gets a Twist of Fate on Guerrero out of nowhere, Hardy covers but the pinfall is halted by Benjamin. Hardy tosses Benjamin outside and then covers Guerrero, but Kennedy this time puts a halt to the pinfall. Hardy sends Kennedy outside right into Neely, Hardy covers again but – again – Benjamin goes to stop it. Hardy with a twist of Fate to Benjamin on top of Guerrero, and that’s good enough for the three count.
Winner and Still United States Champion: Matt Hardy

Would’ve worked better if they had it be 1 on 1 with the tag rule and then descended into chaos, as opposed to being hectic the entire time. As it is, though, nothing bad really. Six out of Ten.

Commercials.

Edge, with no music or pyros or nothing, makes his way out. Edge says he will make his first and last public statement regarding what happened on RAW. He was the victim of two cowardly attacks (both true technically), from Batista and CM Punk, which resulted in him loosing the World Heavy Weight Championship. Edge says it should not have happened and proclaims that he’s a victim who’s been treated unfairly. The only solace is that he will beat Triple H for the WWE Championship at the Great American Bash to become OUR WWE Champion for a third time. Edge says, both professionally and personally, it has been the most difficult week of his life. He’s had no respect, support from anyone tonight. Edge says he gave every thing to Hawkins and Ryder, doing everything to make him happy, but they’ve done nothing. Edge says he’s going to battle through. Edge says that Vickie should be supporting him, but she’s locked him out and that should tell everyone all that there is to know about Vickie Guerrero.

Edge says he’s got a few dirty little secrets about Vickie, but Vickie storms on out and is not happy. Vickie says that these people don’t deserve to know about their personal life. Vickie doesn’t understand what Edge is trying to do, and Edge says that’s a really good question. Edge storms up to the entrance way where Vickie is standing … Edge says he has one last public statement to everyne – including Vickie. The wedding is off!! Vickie is NOT and throws off her wedding ring, and SmackDown fades out with her screaming tantrum.

Michelle McCool defeats Victoria, Cherry, Maryse and Kelly Kelly: 3/10
Jesse and Festus defeats Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder: 2/10
Jeff Hardy defeats John Morrison: 7/10
Umaga defeats Funaki: -5/10
Matt Hardy defeats Mr. Kennedy, Shelton Benjamin and Chavo Guerrero: 6/10
SmackDown 04/07/08: 13/50

Well, Edge certainly has been the highlight reel for WWE this week, hasn’t he? Not much to write home to here in regards to the wrestling, but this episode was all Edge and all Vickie. Which is fine, and if it leads to a feud between the two then that’s a nice twist on the now cliché boss vs. wrestler storyline, with them being ex-fiancées to boot. It might even be one of the better ways for Undertaker to be reintroduced. Triple H on the V.I.P Lounge was entertaining, if only because of Trips’ snide references. Good show. Until next time, laters!

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Join our newsletter

never miss the latest news, reviews, live event coverage, audio podcasts, exclusive interviews and commentary for Movies, TV, Music, Sports, Comics, Video Games!