The Marshall Report: Edition 9

Welcome to the one column that is on time this week! I mark out for simple things like CM Punk winning the World Championship. If it was Jeff Hardy winning the title, I’m sure I’d be marking out as well. RAW is gearing up to be the show of stars in the making, while SmackDown is gearing up to be a battle of egos.

The nature of this column is that I usually take something not discussed among other columnists, because you deserve something fresh to read. Sometimes, I deviate from the rules, but it’s my column and if I have nothing to talk about, you’ll read a column that has nothing to do with anything. Who knows, I might step into the mind of a WWE Creative Writer and book the next couple months of programming on the fly. I may preview an upcoming Pay-Per-View, or I’ll talk about how Vickie Guerrero rules. ROH Elitists are still partying over the fact that Samoa Joe and CM Punk are your World Champions, yet one draws ratings and the other doesn’t.

Last Time on TMR

Last time, I discussed how RAW got raped in the WWE Draft. I’ve since recanted once last week’s RAW concluded, because it dawned on me that the champions on RAW are young. Credibility shoots up when you’re an up and coming star holding a championship, not how they won the title or defended it.

What if CM Punk Turned Heel?

This week, I like to focus on changing CM Punk from someone we all love to someone we all love to hate. To help me out, I asked Pulse Glazer, the go-to man for questions like these and I asked him this question: “What five things does CM Punk need to do right now to be 100% heel?”

Aaron responded with the following:

#1: Take JBL’s money.
#2: Turn on John Cena & Cryme Tyme
#3: Fingerpoke of DOOM!
#4: Cheat like Hell to defeat Batista
#5: Take and rename World Heavyweight Championship the new WCW Title.

Here are my responses:

#1: Continue making subtle comments about certain people.
#2: Slowly burn through the midnight oil, using the G2S maneuver to injure people (like he did to Snitsky).
#3: Comment about how his discipline makes him better than anyone on the RAW Roster and prove any doubters wrong.
#4: Taking out John Cena in his hometown would do wonders.
#5: Change his entrance music to “Cult of Personality”.

To comment on Aaron’s responses, these would be guaranteed ways for Punk to be hated, but they seem to be far-fetched. Stealing JBL’s money would turn JBL face, and no one would buy him as a face. Turning on Cena is an absolute must – Cryme Tyme just comes along with the package deal. The Fingerpoke of DOOM!, which hasn’t been done since the WCW days, might be interesting and it’d be done perfect if Orton was the one Punk did it to. Orton’s already a heel and the slim possibility of Punk teaming with Orton (call them the Youngbloods if you dare) would send Punk down hatred territory. Cheating like Hell or doing anything possible (getting counted out) against Batista would seem to be a smart strategy. A few weeks back, most of us can remember that Punk got disqualified against MVP because the referee saw Punk with the briefcase and MVP feigned injury. Had they turned Punk there, then we’d get a heel outsmarting a heel for the World Title change.

Finally, renaming the World Heavyweight Championship to the WCW Title; well Vince owns the WCW trademark, so it’d make perfect sense. It’d be another way for the WWE brands to really be separated. SmackDown becoming the new WWE, ECW, and RAW becoming the new WCW – I’m sure that’d draw in more viewers.

For some dialogue as about my responses; on RAW, CM Punk celebrated in front of Vickie Guerrero, rubbing it in. He took advantage of Edge in a state, a heel-like move. Punk said that he didn’t do anything to Edge that he didn’t do to others. He also got the last word in the five way between Kane, JBL, Batista, & John Cena. “Good luck boys.” That’s the best response he could have given. Those were subtle responses, and if he could continue with that, in no time, he could get people to turn on him. Later on RAW, he accidentally broke Snitsky’s nose using the Go2Sleep finisher. I’ve heard the comments from other places, from those saying that he needs a new finisher for the bigger men. I see it differently. If I was in Batista’s shoes, seeing Punk breaking Snitsky’s nose, I’d be coming up with ways to avoid getting placed in that move. Sure, Punk could bring back the Uranage and the Anaconda Vise, but nothing is better than the G2S.

CM Punk is straightedge. His only addiction is to wrestle. By having him come out and say that he devotes all his time beating [insert top face here], and how he’s better than anyone would turn the fans quicker than a hot knife through butter. Imagine him laying a huge beating on Cena in his hometown, where he is really over with the crowd – Punk would be a huge heel. Finally, bringing back Cult of Personality as his theme music would mark his heel status. While I’m unable to find anything on YouTube from Punk’s ROH days (maybe a couple DVD purchases may be in order here), I’m told by Glazer that he did use that song in ROH while as a heel.

In the day and age of the WWE, turning heel is one thing. Having the writers not mess your character up in the process, that’s another. CM Punk may be well-liked by Vince McMahon for his discipline and straight-edge lifestyle, but the rumor mill is running wild that Brian Gerwitz isn’t high on Punk. Perhaps the creative needs a new job classification – being creative! If you show bias towards anyone, you shouldn’t be on the creative team – that includes Michael Hayes. Punk has shown that he can hang with the RAW Main Event Scene…now let him continue to be Punk.

What do you readers think? Sound out in the comments below this post as to what CM Punk needs to do right now to be 100% heel.

Around the Pulse

Your favorite recappers from the three main WWE shows chime in about the WWE Draft, Roundtable style!
I don’t normally plug news bites, but who can’t deny the Nation of Domination v.2?
Jonathan Kirschner provides a weekly update on CHIKARA & Pro Wrestling Guerrilla.
Pulse Glazer is mad that people are not being supportive of CM Punk.
Scott Keith busts out another rant. This time, he talks about the best and the worst of Wargames.


It’s time to shut the doors for this week. Two weeks, I’ll be busting out the 10th report, which will undoubtedly be as good as the rest of them. Until then, in the words of Mike Adamle…uno, dos, adios!

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