Scott’s Mailbag of DOOM – July 16 2008

The inbox waits for no man, flu or not, so let’s clear out the backlog.

With the WWE constantly putting out autobiographies, how come we have never seen one from Vince? Obviously he can skew history the way he wanted and could heel it up or shred anyone he wanted and not have to answer to anybody.  I think it would be a good sell depending on either how honest he is or how many people he blasts.  What is he waiting for?

I’ve had people ask me this one before, and the answer I’ve always heard is that Vince considers the WWE itself to be his autobiography or something.  And really, Vince lives 100% of his life to run the company night and day, so it’s not like he’d ever have time to sit down and write one.  I think it’s much more likely that a Shane or Stephanie would write one after he goes completely insane and retires or dies or whatever.  If you ever read his Playboy interview, though, you’d realize the kind of bullshit meters you’d have to be using to get to the truth anyway.  I’d like to think, however, that if ever such a book did take place, the cover photo would feature the most sales-friendly and awe-inspiring pose possible:  1970s huge-collared Vince interviewing 1990s Zubaz-pants wearing Vince.  On the set of the XFL press conference from 2001.  He’d make MILLIONS. 

 

I’d like to get your thoughts on a few “What Ifs”…

As NWA World Heavyweight Champion:

Tully Blanchard

Magnum TA

Nikita Koloff  (during Ric Flair various reigns)

Uh, Tully I’d say is a hard one to call, just because he never really got that main event slot out of the shadow of Flair.  Without him around, I think he had the heel charisma to carry the title, and the NWA already bought him as a top guy because they let him have the US title, and he obviously had the right connections, so I think it would have worked for at least a transitional reign.  Magnum TA we already know was destined to be the guy to get the belt from Flair and probably would have carried it for a while.  Nikita Koloff, no chance.  Even by the 80s the NWA was still clinging to the whole "traditional wrestlers only" thing and I can’t have seen them allowing the title to be put on a Russian gimmick wrestler. 

As WWF World Heavyweight Champion:

Dusty Rhodes (during Superstar Graham reign)

Greg Valentine (during Bob Backlund reign)

Paul Orndorff (during Hulk Hogan reign)

Dusty was pretty over in the 70s WWWF stuff I’ve seen with him, but New York was all about the musclemen even back then and he just didn’t fit into that mold.  Valentine would have been a major flop as well — he was a niche guy who filled it well and World champ just wasn’t it.  Maybe in the NWA he could have pulled it off, but not the WWF.  Orndorff had molten heat in 86 and easily could have won the title at the Big Event and dropped it back to Hogan at, say, some fictional PPV, but they didn’t do business that way back then.  But yeah, as a six-month placeholder champion Orndorff would have done great business. 

As AWA Heavyweight Champion:

Hulk Hogan (during Nick Bockwinkle’s reign)

Rob Maikis

Well obviously they SHOULD have put the title on Hogan at that point, and if Gagne wasn’t running the company they could have ridden him to great things.  But you can’t just play the game with Hogan, you also have to take into account who’s running the promotion, and Verne would have killed his creation with or without Hulk on top.   And I think Rob Maikis did get a title reign in 1977 after stealing the hubcaps off the Gagnemobile to impress Verne, but then got convicted of crack dealing and murdering 3 hookers and was never heard from again.  Truly a tragedy.

Been a fan of your rants for many years. I recently rewatched a match many consider to be one of the greatest matches of the ’90s, and a match that for a long time was one of my personal favorites. I’m talking of course about the Shawn/Razor ladder match from Summerslam ’95. Man, if ever there was a match that aged so horribly. Minus the fun bumps, it’s really nothing to shake a stick at, at all. The psychology is so fucked in this match it’s not even funny. For example, Razor beats the holy living shit out of Shawn’s knee for half the match, and Shawn sells it like he’s DEAD, to the point where the dude can’t even walk. Then, out of nowhere, Shawn STOPS selling the knee, is completely healed and does a moonsault off the ladder! Not to mention the countless fuckups, Shawn falling off the ladder multiple times, etc. Then after the match, they do the babyface embrace after Razor completely destroyed Shawn’s knee like a fucking sadist! How are we supposed to believe, as fans, that Shawn and Razor would become friends after Razor completely MURDERED Shawn’s knee? Jesus, after all the heel tactics Razor pulled (including at one point, Razor throwing the ladder on Shawn’s knee), he should’ve just gone all the way with it and bashed Shawn in the face with the IC belt, ’cause he was drawing MAJOR heel heat with the knee shenanigans. I guess the point of me writing you this is to ask your opinion of it if you’ve rewatched it in the last couple of years to see if it still holds up in your eyes, and also to urge your fans to rewatch it and realize what an overrated pile of shit it is compared to their WM X epic. Thanks.

OUCH.  I actually upgraded the match to ***** the last time I watched it, so I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree here.  The original ladder matches are definitely a product of their time and we’ll leave it at that for now. 

What up Scott? Been reading you since the RSPW days, long time ago
Question that I’ve been pondering. Who would have a bigger impact if they came back to the WWE now The Rock or Bret Hart? I think Bret would be pretty cool and the pop he would get when he came back during a Shawn Michaels interview would be insane, but I don’t think from a wrestling standpoint you couldn’t touch the Rock. Imagine a Cena/Rock feud? It was be insane. Just wondering you opinion

Rock can still wrestle, Bret can’t, so that settles it right there.  Bret v. Vince is pretty much a dead issue now that they’ve publicly made up, so it wouldn’t have the "last thing fans still believe" factor that it used to, and Bret’s stroke would make the interviews against Shawn less fun than you’d hope for.  And I’m pretty sure that not only CAN the WWE imagine a Cena v. Rock feud, but they’re actively trying to convince Rock to do just that. 

Big fan and I was curious on your opinion on The Fantastics? I was re-watching The Crockett Cup ’88 recently and they seemed mighty over and could work, especially Rogers.  Why did they leave the NWA? Was it their decision or management’s? I think they could have been pushed as a real top-level babyface team but it just didn’t seem to happen.  Did the bookers drop the ball or did they just not see anything else to do with them?  Thanks for your time and I can’t wait for the new book!

I think they were basically just brought in as foils for the Midnight Express and then management didn’t see anything more to do with them because they were quite small.  The Sheepherder feud got a bit more mileage out of them, but really once THEY were gone to the WWF there wasn’t much left anyway. 

Scott, I’m not sure how in tune you are with old WWF tapes these days and what they’re worth, but I was wondering if you could possibly ask your readers (or if you know already) how much my wrestling tapes are worth to them.  They are almost all original WWF Coliseum Video masters, and they range from the WWF WrestleMania box set to every In Your House, except for #4 and #5 (I have them in the combined "Winter Combat" version).  I also have most every other major WWF pay-per-view master.  I really don’t need them taking up all this space anymore.  Think you could help out?  Feel free to give out my e-mail address:  bmcgra1@student.mgccc.edu if they are interested.  Thanks a lot!

I’d say they’re worth a lot for those Amish out there who still use VCRs, but you might have to take chickens in trade. 

Sorry, I’m just sick and looking for easy targets.  Good luck selling them! 

Until next time, assuming I’m still alive…

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