Why I Refuse Have Yet To Watch ROH

ROH fans; now that I have peed in your eye, let me offer to help you clean that up!

Having had time to consider that ROH takedown piece I was itching to write for months but had the good sense to put off until I had one of my bi-monthly losses of reason and composure and just did it, I kind of regret it. Mostly because I imagine I am being yelled at by ROHbots on some corner of the internet and they scare me, but also because I feel like I did not clarify my position well enough. Also, I’m sorry if saying that Vin had daddy issues with WWE insulted him. I really regret that one. Sorry dude.

Mostly, I just regret pulling a Grant Morrison and coming out guns a blazing with my big ideas and not actually clarifying any of them. Of course, a lot of the stuff I mean to say, or wish I had, was said in the column that irrepressable law scamp Andy Wheeler wrote in response to mine.

I think he made some good points springboarding off mine, although to be fair, I’m so jazzed someone at IP is acknowledging my existence that I’m probably overrating his work like an ROH fan would overrate a Brisco Bros./Bryan Danielson/Nigel McGuinness fatal four way where all they do is trade wrist locks for an hour before the Briscoes decide to no sell.

Ahem. I kid, ROH fans, and god do I hope some of you guys have a sense of humor, especially since I gave Aaron my AIM name. And I don’t want to alienate Wheeler either, in case he’s the only guy in the trenches with me when the ROHbot revolution comes and they want me against a wall. I also want to make damn sure everyone knows where I’m coming from on this. You know, now that you might be forgetting all the flame baiting I did in between making fun of myself and everything.

I have no problem with people being really in to ROH. I have no problem admitting it’s better on the level its fan base judges it on. I don’t doubt this stuff is really a panacea if you’re fed up with WWE’s product today and TNA attempting to be WWE from 10 years ago with the occasional bone thrown to work rate freaks with ROH’s roster from 5 years ago. I think it’s great you guys have that socially acceptable place to mark out, partially because I am too self conscious to mark out even when I go to WWE house shows are sports bars showing PPVs and everyone else is. Hell, even my dad got in to watching Eugene attack La Resitance’s anuses with the French Flag and ride Tajiri around like a horse, and he was just at the show to humor me on my birthday.

I think a big part of my agitation at the ROH hype is my general aversion to hype. Unless I’m the one hyping something.

See, it’s funny; hype’s an exclusionary thing. On the inside, it’s a joyous celebration. You’re just sharing your passion with likeminded folks and trying to get other people in on the action. I’ve been there, and I was so annoying with it was medicated out of me. But now that I’m on the other side, I gotta say; it can be pretty tedious to the uninitiated if you always talk about how great your favorite thing is, and belittle stuff they’re in to, even if you aren’t trying to.

I think this whole to do of is just a small aspect of a bigger debate in pop culture/entertainment/art that’s been around for as long as corporations of varying sizes have been offering different products in the same genres and formats; indie vs. mainstream. Do you want to be on the cutting edge or the big time? Do you want passion or production values? Do you want to suffer for your art or have it delivered to you on a conveyor belt and stuffed down your gullet, statiscially likely fat lazy American? And I gotta say, I usually choose the latter, ‘cuz I’m a fat lazy American and WWE shows, superhero comics, and Hollywood Blockbusters entertain me as much or more than their indie equivalents.

In a lot of ways, I really do think my problems with ROH are more me than them, and I am not slamming the door shut on ever being a fan of the ECW of the 21st century (thank you for making that point, Wheeler). I mean, you guys nurtured all of the new talent I enjoy in WWE and TNA, and things like the Road of Homicide storyline, Briscoes vs. Machine Guns, and the likes of Styles, Punk, London, and Joe unbound sound awesome. I just don’t want to expend any effort to watch them.

So, we’re cool, right? We understand each other, people I’ve never met and will probably ignore if you write mean things about me? Nigel’s not going to come to my house, break my jaw in retaliation to this and give himself another concussion in the process, is he? No one wants that, I think.

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