Pulse Wrestling’s Real-Time Coverage of WWE RAW

Welcome to our live coverage of RAW tonight at 9:00 EST!

It’s Neeley covering for Marshall tonight.  He will pay in the future (via suffering through a full episode of TNA Impact one night I’m feeling incredibly lazy).

WWE RAW for 7/21/2008

– Live from the Mohegan Sun Casino

– Your hosts are Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler

– Dave Batista starts off the show by coming and out and saying that with the McMahons still away he is in charge tonight, and he makes himself vs. Punk tonight for the title.  JBL interrupts on the screen to say that he had his shot and lost it, while he beat Cena last night.  Punk ends the segment and says that if Dave wants the site, he’s got it.

Lance Cade v. Paul London

This is set up by Cade coming out and ragging on Michaels, London accepts the challenge so it’s a Jericho’s student against HBK’s student match if you will.  Cade gives him a couple of backbreakers to start.  A blind charge meets London’s boot and he springs in with a crossbody for two.  Cade however turns him inside out with a shoulder and gets a sitout powerbomb for the pin.

Winner: Lance Cade

– Post-match Cade says if that wasn’t enough to bring Michaels out, maybe this will, and he brings out Jericho as we head into commercials.  Jericho says despite what Cade and all the fans want, Shawn Michaels will not be here tonight and he then shows us the “graphic footage” of their match last night at the Bash, of course with Jericho getting the TKO victory after Shawn is beaten to a bloody pulp.  He says everything that happened was because of the fans.  He says none of them deserve to be saved because they decided to side with HBK.  He says he’s proud of what he did last night, ending HBK’s career, and he now considers himself “saved”.  All the while Cade just stands in the background of all this.

Kelly Kelly v. Beth Phoenix

Beth dominates to start  and goes to an armbar.  Kelly fights out and after an awkward moment gets a pathetic-looking enziguiri but a nicer looking headscissors.  She follows with a dropkick to send Beth to the corner where she tries a back handspring but she gets caught.  Kelly rolls through for a pin but Beth picks her back up and nails her finisher slam thing for the pin.

Winner: Beth Phoenix

– Did you know that RAW has totaled over 750 episodes, more than The Simpsons and ER combined?  WWE wants you to.

– We come back from commercials with Jim Duggan in the ring.  He says he’s thinking about hanging up the boots because this is a game for young men.  Jerry Lawler comes in to say that there’s no age limit in the WWE.  He says as long as he’s passionate about what he’s doing in the ring, he should stay.  He says he can do something that Obama and McCain only wish they can do, come out and make millions of people chant “U-S-A”.  But what about Nader?  Duggan thanks Lawler and out come DiBiase and Rhodes.  DiBiase says just because Lawler dates girls younger than him, he doesn’t relate to them.  Rhodes says when Duggan won the Royal Rumble, he was 2 years old, and Rhodes says they weren’t alive when Lawler slapped Andy Kaufman on David Letterman.  Lawler says “it went something like this and slaps Rhodes”, who is furious but DiBiase holds him back.

JBL, Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase Jr v. John Cena & Cryme Tyme

It amuses me how they act like this is such a huge fresh match without even acknowledging that it was the main event of last week’s RAW.  Lawler says that the Geico lizard must have been in a coma after the damage from last night’s parking lot brawl.  JBL and Cena start, but JBL quickly tags in Rhodes.  Cena gets a quick hiptoss for two and gets the bulldog for two.  Shad comes in but Rhodes takes him to the heel corner and tags in DiBiase who falls victim to a supex by Shad for two.  JTG comes in and they double team on DiBiase, but he manages to tag in JBL who pounds away in the corner.  DiBiase comes back in and he gets a scoop slam and second rope stomp for one.  JBL comes in followed by Rhodes and they continue to isolate JTG.  Rhodes locks in a waistlock but JTG reverses it to a rollup for two.  DiBiase takes his turn with shots on JTG now as JBL very verbally abuses the ref, calling him a stupid idiot.  DiBiase locks in a legscissors but JTG eventually fights out and gets a dropkick.  Tag to Rhodes who comes in and apparently Cryme Tyme has a problem with kicking out at two or after.  Dueling tags to Cena and DiBiase and Cena cleans house.  JBL comes in but Cena brawls him down and JBL exits through the crowd.  Double FU to the tag champs ends it.  Okay, I know Cena has avenge his loss last night, but great way to show off your still relatively new tag champs.  And JBL cowering through the crowd was even stupider than usual considering he finally ending his losing streak against Cena last night.

Winner: John Cena & Cryme Tyme

– Meanwhile Jericho and Cade run into Kane backstage.

Kofi Kingston & Mickie James v. Paul & Katie Burchill

Is it safe to say at this point that the James-Cena item is no more?  The chicks start and Mickie jumps her.  She stops to slap Paul and Kofi follows that up with a nice flying crossbody.  The guys tag in and Kofi adds a pair of dropkicks for two.  Katie comes in and goes after Kofi herself, allowing Paul to chopblock him and down and go after the leg.  Kofi gets the corner punches while Mickie takes out Katie on the floor.  Paul pulls Mickie off by the hair.  Kofi goes after him but his spin kick meets the post instead and back in Paul gets a neckbreaker for the pin.

Winners: Paul & Katie Burchill

– Meanwhile Jamie Noble is still going after Layla in the back.  Batista comes up to ask if they’ve seen Kane but Noble tells him to get lost.  Dave then chokes him against the wall and tells him to say something if he sees Kane.  Gotta love Noble.  We then get commercials and another 10-minute or so recap of the Bash which we’re getting for the second time tonight.

– CM Punk talks with Matthews backstage, but just like every time that happens, he’s interrupted.  JBL is the one to do so and he says he fully intends to win that title at SummerSlam and that he’ll forever be an asterix and transitional champion.  Punk says he doesn’t know that and his first ever defense will always have been against JBL.

Santino Marella v. D’Lo Brown

Santino says he is reissuing his open challenge from last week when he lost to Beth because he only meant for it to be against Beth.  D’Lo answers the challenge making his highly anticipated return.  D’Lo pummels him around to start and gets the crowd on his side.  Delayed suplex and the fancy leg drop followed by a stiff clothesline, the Sudden Impact if you remember, and then finishes with the Lo Down for the pin.

Winner: D’Lo Brown

– Post match Santino seems like he’s going to attack Beth, who came out at ringside for the match, but ends up kissing her, and they both leave looking confused.

CM Punk v. Batista – World Heavyweight Championship

Gee, Kane hasn’t done anything in the show yet, I wonder what’s going to happen here.  Well, Kane comes out immediately to take down Batista with a Chokeslam but Punk makes the save as a bunch of officials force him to the back.  Kane then goes after a cameraman to the back.  Okay.  The ref asks if Dave wants to continue and of course he does!  HE’S THE ANIMAL.  Commercials.  We’re back and I guess the match is on as Lillian gives them the super announcing.  Punk grabs a headlock to start but Batista shoulders him down.  He gets a boot to the head for two.  Punk snapmares him out of the corner and gets a low dropkick for two.  Slugfest and Punk drop toe holds him down.  Crowd is pretty dead, unfortunately, as Punk goes to a front facelock.   Batista powers ot and tosses Punk across the ring.  Crowd still dead.  Punk wears Dave down with knees and adds a couple of leg drops for two, then goes to a crossface.  Batista powers out with a snapmare and adds a neckbreaker for two.  Punk then locks in a leg scissors as he has been completely dominant since the get-go.  Really, it has been a squash.  Drop toe hold sends Dave to the corner with a drop toe hold and the corner bulldog gets two.  Punk springboards in but Batista catches him with a spinebuster and rams him in the corner.  A blind charge meets Punk’s boot however, but the crossbody misses and Batista nails the Spear and then channels the POWER OF THE ANIMALS.  Here comes JBL however to cause the DQ.  Clothesline From Hell to Dave.  He dumps Punk.  Cena then makes his way out to take care of JBL, but he ducks a punch and it meets Batista.  Batista then tries to Demon Bomb Cena, Cena blocks it and tries the FU, Dave slips off and they brawl until the refs separate them.  They stare off as the show goes off the air.

Winner: CM Punk (DQ)

End of show.

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