Show starts with Teddy Long already in the ring, who introduced us to ECW. At least he’s doing it with spirit! Teddy is here to present this brand new ECW championship title to Mark Henry.
Whoa. This thing actually looks pretty bad ass. It’s all silver and black and might be the last thing aside form the logo that needed to be changed from the original ECW. Henry comes down to the ring with Tony Atlas. Everyone is smiles. Tony lets us know that they are happy to receive the title and this is where ECW all started. Thanks for the history lesson TONY ATLAS. Wasn’t he almost homeless when the original ECW was around? Tony says that this is a title with credibility and that we all can be proud of because it’s held by Mark Henry. Tony has some odd ideas about what I’m proud of. He also says we shouldn’t hold onto yesteryear or we’ll b swept under the rug like Tommy Dreamer.
Alright, he’s obviously speaking to me. Should I leave?
Tony brings out Colin Delaney, who turned on Dreamer at the great American Bash in Tommy’s home state of NY. Tazz and Adamle build up Colin as he comes out to the ring. Colin says that everyone’s been asking him why he turned on Tommy. He says Tommy was his friend and mentor, but he got his butt kicked night in and night out. He achieved his dream of being a dream of a WWE star only to become a joke. He saw a legend like Atlas and a champion like Henry, and then a loser like Tommy Dreamer so he got with the program. Tommy Dreamer is the past, Tony Atlas and Mark Henry is where it’s at. you know, Colin’s learned his lines and is a natural. Colin wants to know if they need their bags carried.
Teddy breaks in and says that Dreamer isn’t the past, but it’s the future. tonight, it’s Colin vs. Tommy. This is Philly! This is ECW! This is extreme! That match is going to start… RIGHT NOW! Here comes Tommy and he might as well be in his hometown. You know the hometown rule when it comes to the WWE, right?
Tommy Dreamer over Colin Delaney by DDT
Tommy grabs Colin, who tries to run out of the ring. Tommy throws Colin to the mat and drives him into the corner. Tommy slaps Colin and tosses him out of the corner. Irish whip and Colin grabs the ropes and runs out of the ring. Tommy gives chase and tosses him back into the ring. Tommy follows and Colin hits a shot drop kick. Colin throws some feet and punches at Tommy on the floor, but can only get a one. Tommy throws a haymaker to Colin’s gut, then face. Tommy lifts Colin and sets him up in the Tree of Woe. Dreamer hits his dropkick on Colin and goes into the arms out screaming pose. Tommy lifts Colin in a pump handle slam and throws him backwards. One DDT later, and Tommy bucks tradition of losing in Philly!
Backstage the Douches are complaining about their loss at the Great American Bash, and now Morrison thinks that the Miz will win the four way, Miz thinks Morrison will win. Before fading out, Morrison hopes the Buddah of luck will sit in the Miz’ corner. Yeah, he said that.
Jenny McCarthy is on my screen telling me about autism. It’s a shame that she doesn’t know SHIT about what causes autism and bases her medical decisions about how she feels. Her crusade against vaccines is doing way too much potential harm in this country. Do your own research, because the science shows that not only do vaccines NOT cause autism, but the vaccines that she is concerned about no longer contain mercury.
Evan Bourne over James Curtis by shooting star press
They replay Bourne’s win over Chavo last week. Bourne has an extremely pretty shooting star press. Chavo and Bam Neely are at ringside for this. Bourne gets a hammer lock, it’s reversed into a rear bear hug. Bourne turns that into an arm drag. Curtis fights up, but Bourne rolls through into an arm bar. Bourne takes a knee and a face full of turnbuckle. Curtis attacks in the corner, Curtis whips Bourne by his head but Bourne lands on his feet.
Okay, I’m wasting energy with calling this thing like this. Bourne not only shows how good he is with reversals, but he’s wrestling smart, which is hard to pull off. Curtis plays the slower, stronger wrestler. James Curtis is reminding me of an All American Wrestling jobber. He’s solid in the ring, but generic in his look and move set. Any time Curtis gives Bourne some air or space, Bourne figures out how to reverse it. Bourne’s ‘ranas are beautiful and he knows how to get the crowd into the match. He finishes it off with the awesome shooting star press and we head towards a beat down from Chavo and Ba, but Bourne’s too quick and gets outta Dodge before getting his lunch eaten.
Backstage Finlay is with Hornswoggle. They laugh it up talking about the four way title match and we head to commercials.
Backstage Ricky Ortiz is with Teddy Long working on catchphrases. Ricky Ortiz – Latin Assassin. Ortiz tries to pull the “I’m undefeated” with 1-0 crap and Teddy says next week, he’ll put it to the test. Tazz and Adamle talk about Mike Knox a bit before sending us to fantasyland with a Mike Knox video package. Lots of punches and clotheslines in this package. Backstage once more, Matt Hardy talks about losing the US title and think that his chances are good for winning the four way match tonight.
Matt Hardy over Miz and John Morrison and Finlay by Twist of Fate
Miz goes for a quick pin attempt on Morrison. No good. Hardy and Finlay take control of the Douches. Hardy throws Miz out of the ring, Finlay tosses Morrison. Hardy and Finlay stare down and talk a little smack. Finlay gets a headlock, turns it around for a clothesline. Hardy is shipped to the corner, but jumps over the ropes and decks Finlay. Morrison pulls Hardy to the canvas and now the Douches have control. Lots of forearms, kicks and punches. finlay gains control of Miz and Hardy takes control of Morrison. Hardy hits the second rope elbow and goes for a pin, but Morrison gets a boot to the rope.
Finaly continues the attack on Miz, and gets a two! TWO! Hardy gets a backslide on Morrison for a two. TWO! We go to commercial and come back and the heels have control. Text play by play on a fatal four way is damn near impossible. Lots of pins, lots of TWO! TWO! TWO!
Not the best chemistry in the ring for this one. I hope the finish is good, because so far, these guys just seem to be passing time in the ring. I can appreciate fifteen minute main events, but the pace isn’t great here. Morrison runs to baseball slide Finlay outside and Finlay pulls out the apron. Morrison stops and throws Finlay off THEN hits the baseball slide. Morrison and Finlay fight into the stands and Miz comes out to save Morrison. Miz gets the upperhand and delivers a slingshot to Finlay and it’s cut short by a forearm by Morrison. Morrison hits an elbow off the guard rail and Finlay is neutralizes outside. The douches turn their attention to Matt Hardy and hit their double gut buster. Miz hits a suplex and then the douches applaud themselves. Morrison lifts Hardy and tells Miz to go after Finlay. Miz turns his back and attempts a pin on Hardy. This pisses Miz off, they go shove for shove and MHardy nearly gets a pin on Morrison. They go back to double teaming Hardy and miss moves in the corner. Hardy goes for the twist of fate and misses. Morrison goes for the enziguiri kick to Hardy, but hits Miz. Hardy pins Miz for two, TWO! And here comes Finlay into the ring. Finlay grabs Hardy in a fireman’s carry and goes for a pib, but Morrison breaks it up. TWO!
finlay hits a shoulder block on Morrison in the corner, a clothesline to Miz and a boot to Morrison. Finley hits a missile drop kick on Morrison, but Miz breaks up the pin. Hardy hits a bulldog on one douche and hits a clohteline to the other AT THE SAME TIME. Finlay hits the butt bump on Morrison then lifts Miz, but Miz turns it around and hits a top shelf on Finlay. Hardy tosses Morrison out and pins Finlay for two. TWO! Miz breaks it up, hits his clothesline in the corner to Hardy. Hownswoggle hops up tot the apron to distract the ref, Finlay his Miz with the shalaylee. Morrison hits the enziguiri to Finlay, and Hardy hits Morrison with the Twist of Fate for the three!
Wow. They picked up the pace at the end, but there was a whole lot of nothing before that. Looks like we’re headed to Mat Hardy vs. Mark Henry at Summerslam. Henry comes out after the match for a WORLD’S STRONGEST STAREDOWN to end the show.