Pulse Wrestling’s Real-Time Coverage of WWE RAW 07.28.2008

I’m back in the pilot’s seat this week and once again it’s time to get RAW!  Thanks to Mark Neeley for helping me out last week and you know I’m in your debt.  We’re live from Washington, DC and a storm is brewing on the RAW landscape tonight.  Scroll below and comment on tonight’s show in progress!

WWE: Now Rated TV PG – V

Last week, Batista declares himself in charge and continues to make Punk look AWESOME!  Of course, JBL and Cena had to get involved and they officially started the Cena/Batista Road to Wrestlemania feud.

Cue up the RAW Video and the pyro!  Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are at ringside tonight.  Out comes John Cena and he has a purpose.  It’s a surprise that Cena’s over in Batista’s hometown, but leave that as it may.  Ok now, I can hear the boos – but the cheers outweigh them.  Cena isn’t perfect and he made a mistake.  He’s not going to give the run-around, but he did give Batista a good punch.  All he wants is Batista to come out right now.

After what seemed like an eternity, Batista finally obliges.  I don’t know who’s goofier – Batista or Cena wearing their respected jerseys.  No one knows more than him that things happen in the heat of the moment and as far as things are concerned, they are cool.  Batista respects Cena enough that once he beats Punk at Summerslam, he wants Cena as his first title defense.  Apparantly, Batista is not the #1 Contender, as Cena kinda implies.  Batista can’t argue with his logic, but the reason he’s not the champion is that people keep interfering.  He knows CM Punk can’t beat him – neither can Cena.  There’s no sense of law and order so it’s every man for themselves.  Cena talks up the gossip of Cena and Batista headlining Wrestlemania, so why not have it tonight? 

But there apparantly is a McMahon here tonight – Shane McMahon that is.  We have a new General Manager and he will be announced later tonight.  CM Punk is in action against the hottest free agent in Wrestling.  Cena will be facing the team of JBL and Kane tonight with Batista as his partner!

Commercials.

Last week, Santino Marella lost to D-Lo Brown, but won Beth Phoenix’s heart.  It seems the good things happen when I’m away.

Time for an intergender tag team match.  This one will be interesting.  Moments ago, Beth argues with Santino and Santno gets his roles mixed up.

Kelly Kelly & D-Lo Brown v. Beth Phoenix & Santino Marella

Santino and D-Lo begin things off.  Santino gets into a super reverse atomic drop by Brown, who follows up with Sudden Impact for two!  Marella is in trouble early on, but he gets a neckbreaker to gain momentum.  Santino tries and fails to pick up Brown, so Phoenix tags in and she picks Brown up effortlessly.  Kelly tags in and gets splatted by Phoenix with a tilt-a-whril neckbreaker.  Marella tags in and he drops the elbow on the canvas.  He knocks Brown off the apron and rolls Kelly Kelly up for three.  Santino celebrates as if he won the World Title.  He shakes hands with Beth and he looks like he wants another lip lock, but Beth wants to keep this professionial.  He goes to leave, but Beth grabs his short hair and liplocks him instead.

Winners: Beth Phoenix & Santino Marella
Grade: D+

Commercials.

Jeff Foxworthy gives us a good reason to watch Saturday Night’s Main Event this Saturday.

Shane stares at a portrait of Vince while JBL enters the room.  JBL tries to con his way to a title match at Summerslam.  Shane says to take it up with the General Manager.  Shane’s cell phone goes off and it’s the new GM.  JBL wants his match changed, but Shane leaves. 

Time for old school v. new school!

“Hacksaw” Jim Duggan & Jerry Lawler v. Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase
WWE Tag Team Championships

Another referee slides inside the ring and hands a memo to Lillian Garcia.  The new GM makes a change – instead of Jim Duggan, King’s new partner is… MICHAEL COLE!

Commercials.

Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler v. Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase
WWE Tag Team Championships

We are back as Michael Cole is arguing with the official notice.  We have no commentary right now, so bear with me here.  The bell sounds and it’s King and DiBiase.  They lock up and DiBiase forces King to the corner.  We get a clean break and they go at it again.  DiBiase doesn’t break clean the second time around and SLAP by the King!  DiBiase runs into a boot, but he levels King with a clothesline.  He beats some sense to King and in comes Rhodes.  Rodes spits in his hands, but King is smart.  King turns the tables on Rhodes, but Rhodes turns it back.  Second rope bulldog gets two and Rhodes wrenches the arm as Michael looks on cautiously.  Rhodes goes back on top and he misses with the FIST DROP!  King Rocks Rhodes’ world and he goes for the Piledriver!  DiBiase stops it and Rhodes back drops out of it.  Cole inadvertanly helps King up and it’s a TAG!  King gets tossed out and Cole is defenseless until HE DECKS HIM!  Rhodes is offended and he clotheslines him for the pin.

Winners: Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase
Grade: D+ (Someone needs to teach Cole how to throw a punch!)

Cole looks like he got knocked out.

Commercials.

We’re back and MIKE ADAMLE is here!  He was asked to be here tonight and he has no idea why he’s here.  The new GM definitely likes to play games.

In the ring, Jaime Noble and his part-time girlfriend, Layla!  He challenged the Intercontinental Champion to a match tonight!  There is trouble in paradise.

Jaime Noble v. Kofi Kingston
Intercontinental Championship

JAMIACAN ME CRAZY!  They lock up with Noble being the aggressor.  Scoop slam gets a 0 count.  He continues to mount the pressure, but Kofi extends the legs and catches Noble and he is in control!  Jamican Leg Sweep connects and BOOM BOOM! Kicks to the body and a springboard crossbody gets two!  Noble gets Kingston up and TROUBLE IN PARADISE CONNECTS!  Uno-Dos-Adios

Winner: Kofi Kingston
Grade: D+

Layla checks up on Noble and out comes CM Punk!  Who’s his opponent?  We’ll find out NEXT!

Commercials.

JBL comes to the table and tells Adamle to shut his piehole and let the pros do the work – HAHA!

CM Punk v. THE RETURNING WILLIAM REGAL

Punishment = Push – that line still rings true.  Last time they faced off, Regal beat Punk.  The bell sounds and Regal gets a headlock on Punk.  Punk reverses to an armbar, but Regal reverses to the STF.  Punk gets back in control with an armbar.  Regal rolls over and gets a one count.  Back to the headlock and Punk gets a atomic drop.  Punk gets the knees, but Regal fights out of the corner.  Regal pulls Punk’s head against the steel post and KICKS IT IN!  He’s busted open!  Regal gets a two count and he goes back to the reverse choke.  Punk stomps on the ropes and he gets hung out to dry.  Regal works in a keylock and gets repeated one counts.  Once again back to the rear choke and Punk must have a broken nose.  Punk rolls Regal up and gets two!  JBL continues to put Punk down as Regal gets ANOTHER rear chinlock and Punk gets back on the offensive!  Kicks and strikes commence and he gets two, following an enzugiri.  OH MY GOD, Regal hits the TIGER SUPLEX and attempts to apply th Regal Stretch.  Punk gets out of a rear naked choke…GO2SLEEP!  That does it!

Winner: CM Punk
Grade: C+

Punk celebrates as JBL enters the ring.  Hellfire and Brimstone explode and Kane is heading towards the ring!  Kane decks JBL and Punk goes to kick Kane, but JBL gets back up and levels Punk.  What is Kane Thinking?

Commercials.

We’re back and it’s time for the FINAL Highlight Reel.  Chris Jericho and Lance Cade come out towards the ring.  The Jerichtron 6000 is destroyed from what happened with Shawn Michaels.  Last week, Jericho told the truth, but he still gets treated like crap.  Jericho has moved on and has matured.  Because of this, tonight is the last Highlight Reel.  Tonight’s show is dedicated to an icon…himself!

Footage of Jericho’s good life is shown.  He doesn’t miss that shade of himself and he’s not doing it again.  He took matters into his own hands by destroying Shawn Michaels!  Lance Cade grabs the microphone and he says that the people don’t appreciate him, but he does.  He saved him and he’ll be forever greatful.  Jericho has a message for Shawn and that is “stay home”. Hold onto your wife, raise your kids.  NOW we get serious.  Jericho tosses his hat in the ring and he deserves a World Title shot!  PLEASE MAKE THIS MATCH!  PUNK/JERICHO WOULD BE PHOENOMIAL!

Commercials.

We’re back and J.R. makes his way to the ring!  He, too, got a call wanting him to be here tonight, so we got a three man commentary team!

The WOMEN’s Champion, Mickie James makes her way out to the ring!  Her dad is at ringside!

Mickie James v. Jillian Hall

Oh no…Mike Adamle wants her to sing!  Thankfully, she doesn’t.  The bell sounds and Jillian gets a knee.  Mickie tries a hurrancurana, but Jillian counters and she pulls the hair!  James goes to the ropes and the handspring elbow connects.  Jillian gets a cover for two and gets a reverse chinlock!  She puts the boots to the champion and screams.  Mickie gets a rollup for two as JR is correcting Adamle!  Adamle asks if JR wants to take over and he shuts up – HAHA!  Mickie gets the primal DDT for three!

Winner: Mickie James
Grade: C+ (Seeing the commentary team bicker is fun!)

As Mickie celebrates with her dad, Katie Lea Burchill ATTACKS and lays her out!  Katie hopes the new GM is watching because it looks like the Burchills want title shots.

On SmackDown, Edge apologizes to Vickie Guerrero.  She forgives him, but she brings back Undertaker and books him against Edge inside Hell in a Cell!

Todd Grisham is attempting to get the scoop, but Shane won’t tell him.

Commercials.

We’re back and we hype Summerslam.  After that, we hype Saturday Night’s Main Event, a fight against Autism!

Cryme Tyme tries to help Cena out – CTC: One Team, but Batista butts him.  He tells Cena to stay out of his way.  After you, but neither men are playing that game.

Commercials.

We’re back and Shawn Michaels will be too NEXT WEEK!

John Bradshaw Layfield & Kane v. John Cena & Batista

Mike Adamle bought a lot of Mamajuana and IT DOESN’T WORK!  Michael Cole landed on the back of his head earlier tonight and is still out of it!

The bell sounds and it’s Cena v. JBL!  JBL continues his asskicking from a week ago, but Cena hits the Throwback for one!  Batista tags himself in JBL takes the punishment.  JBL telegraphs a move, but couldn’t telegraph a powerslam.  Kane interrupts and Cena knocks Kane out.  JBL is out as well and Cena & Batista stare down as we head to break.

Commercials.

We are back and JBL hits a neckbreaker John Cena!  I like how J.R. took control of the commentary team!  Kane gets involved and has a two count on Cena.  Kane thrusts into Cena and hits a hard powerslam for two!  Kane gets a headlock applied and CENA IS SUPERCENA!  He tries to get out of it, but Kane pulls him back so JBL can tag in.  He stomps on his hands for good.  Kane and Cena throw haymakers and Cena gets a moment of offense until he walks into a sidewalk slam for TWO!  Kane goes up top and he misses the clothesline.  Cena hits a one arm DDT and both men are down!  JBL and Batista tag in!  Batista runs amok and crushes JBL in the corners!@  SPINEBUSTER by Batista!  Kane gets in and he goes back out.  JBL sends Batista to the ropes and Kane pulls down the rope, sending Batista out of the ring!  JBL covers for a two count.  In comes Kane!  Kane takes it to Batista as he uses his head as a battering ram to Batista’s ribs.  Kane locks on a bodyscissors, but Batista mounts Kane and hits the big rights!  JBL gets the tag and he gets rig of Cena.  He takes his liberties on Batista in the corner.  Opposite corner we go, JBL walks into a boot…Clothesline to Hell is countered to the SPEAR!  JBL hits Kane on ACCIDENT!  Kane gets tagged in and he looks to Chokeslam JBL, but somehow Cena tags himself in and hits the FU on Kane for the three count!

Winners: John Cena & Batista
Grade: B+

Shane McMahon comes out and he announces the new General Manager for RAW:

M…I…K…E  A…D…A…M…L…E!

At Summerslam, it will be John Cena v. Batista, says Mike.  100% unexpected – the GM choice, not the match just made.

Show Over.

The WWE RAW Report Card

John Cena & Batista d. JBL & Kane: B+
Mickie James d. Jillian Hall: C+
CM Punk d. William Regal: C+
Kofi Kingston d. Jaime Noble: D+
Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase d. Jerry Lawler & Michael Cole: D+
Beth Phoenix & Santino Marella d. D-Lo Brown & Kelly Kelly: D+

The Final Grade for WWE RAW 07.28.2008: C

Well, this show was weird tonight.  We still have no #1 Contender to Punk’s World Title and Mike Adamle blows away the first time meeting between Cena and Batista for Summerslam.  However, Summerslam looks like it’ll be a good one to order, but I’m holding my breath until we see other matches announced.  I’ll be back later this week for TMR, so have a great week!

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