10 Thoughts On Raw – 07.28.2008

I missed Smackdown last week. Let me just say that Vickie’s re-instatement of The Undertaker was the least surprising thing that’s happened in recent memory. That said, I still don’t really understand the thought process of this storyline. I understand the use of it to get Undertaker back on the show, but I don’t understand it as it relates to Edge. Why are they creating this conflict between two heels and fuzzying up which one of them is supposed to be bad. What’s the payoff? A unified front/turn against the Undertaker? Is the whole thing going to be one big thing to get The Undertaker? If it is, how does that make sense? He’s off Smackdown now. Isn’t that better than anything they could do to him on the show?

I’m so confused. Here’s Raw

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1) A Washington Bullets jersey on Dave Batista? I was under the impression that David Stern had destroyed all traces of the Bullets and wiped everyone’s memory of that time.

2) For a moment, I almost kinda felt bad for D’Lo Brown. I mean, he got no reaction at all… good or bad. Indifference might be worse as it kind of indicates that 1) people have no idea who he is or 2) people really don’t care who he is. Then I recalled he almost killed someone and I didn’t feel bad anymore.

3) I first thought the new GM was going to team Lawler or Duggan with Dibiase Sr. or something crazy like that. When he teamed Lawler with Michael Cole, I fell in love. They didn’t bring out an announcer for the match which made it really odd. This kind of kills my idea that it’s Flair. In other news, I never realized how much the referees talked during the match. Looking at this point after knowing the GM… why would he do this? Does he want to commentate Raw and shuttle Cole to Smackdown? Are they really going to go with a Raw announce team of Adamle and King? Or are we going to get Larry Csonka and Jerry Lawler?

4) I realize that Michael Cole is an announcer and really doesn’t have any in-ring experience… but don’t you think a guy who does nothing but travel with wrestlers as a career might, I don’t know, learn to take a bump or two. Like… I’ve never been in a wrestling ring in my life and am pretty sure I could take a clothesline spot better than Cole did. I mean, even Jimmy Hart and Bobby Heenan learned a couple of spots. I’m not saying I could throw any more of a convincing wrestling punch than Cole did but I’m pretty sure I could get my ass-kicked better.

5) The “hottest free agent in sports entertainment” is William Regal, making his return after serving his 60-day suspension. He arrives in a singlet, letting you know he didn’t miss meals during his time off. I’m glad he’s a “free agent”. If he’s active I’d rather see him on Smackdown in matches with the better wrestlers.

6) Every time I see Punk bloodied up I always presume that the inevitable has occurred and some kind of face jewelry got pulled out. At some point, I’d like it explained to me how every wrestler’s arsenal doesn’t include the “lip ring pull” submission maneuver.

7) Someone correct me if I’m wrong here. Kane has really only come out to interrupt all of Punk’s matches, but I don’t think he’s actually attacked Punk yet. Is Kane protecting Punk?

8) Highlight reel highlight: Dirty, disgusting, brutal, bottom-feeding, trashbag ho. I’d pretty much entirely forgotten about Jericho’s feud with Stephanie. Also: big fan of the old-school heel beard on Jericho. Also, good bit of continuity on the Highlight Reel with the still-shattered Jeritron 5000.

9) Interesting, JR needed to be here this week, too. Are they going to execute Cole? Because that would be just tremendous.

10) I really wish I knew whether Mike Adamle was this bad because they’re asking him to be bad or if he’s just this bad. I mean, sometimes I think he’s really that bad and then he does the thing like mistaking Lillian for Jillian and I think he’s being made to be bad. If he’s being made to be this bad: WTF’s the point of having a play-by-play guy whose gimmick is that he’s a crappy play-by-play guy? It doesn’t make any sense. Then again, I guess it doesn’t matter as Adamle unexpectedly turns out to be the new Raw GM.

I’m not going to pass a judgment on this GM assignment until I see where they’re going with it. They made it clear that Adamle had Cole beat up, set up Batista/Cena, and had JR brought to Raw. I’m honestly not sure where they’re going with it so I’ll give them the chance to sell me on it. Then again, I don’t have much hate for Adamle and I know that some other folks do. They should probably move forward pretty quickly.

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