Hello again to the faithful Crack-heads. What kind of surprises are in store for the blue brand in light of the rather depressing promotion of Mike Adamle on RAW? Stay tuned and find out as we go through another edition of Smackdown tonight.
It seems to me that they’re changing the Smackdown intro video ever week, as Smackdown is NOT live from Hershey PA. Tonight Edge has a mystery guest on the Cutting Edge. Jeff Hardy cued his music, and upon hearing his new song, I agree with the people who say it’s awful. JR said the Hershey crowd likes Jeff Hardy more than chocolate. Hardy grabbed a chair at sat at ringside in front of JR and Foley. MVP cued his music, inflato-tunnel and all. Last week, MVP “channeled the late journalist Ed Bradley†in his interview with Jeff Hardy. MVP grabbed a mic and said Jeff’s behavior hurts the people he loves and will never be WWE champion. MVP said he blew his chance to face Triple H at Summerslam for said title by losing last week’s battle royal, but he’s willing to show Hardy how a real champion operates. The former US champ demanded the match be started, but Jimmy Wang Yang hadn’t even arrived in the ring yet. He did so with no music or any sort of brouhaha, despite JR‘s claim that Wang is “our favorite“ Asian redneck.
Match #1: MVP vs. Jimmy Wang Yang
MVP hit some knees to the gut as Hardy watched intently. Wang came back with some strikes but MVP hit a front body drop. Some more kicks to the ribs ensued, and a knee drop followed. MVP applied a submission and taunted Jeff at ringside. MVP hit a smooth snapmare and kicked Wang in the back for two. Wang landed on his feet after a snapmare and hit a dropkick for two. Wang hit a spinning heel kick in the corner but MVP turned a top rope move into a gut buster. MVP hit a Shining Wizard for the pin.
Your winner, by pinfall, MVP! Good matchup for a squash match. The crowd reacted well to Wang’s offense despite the one-sided nature of the match on paper. The match itself was a fine showcase of MVP’s strengths and a few of Wang’s flashy moves. MVP’s feud with Jeff Hardy should be fun to watch, as long as it isn’t dragged out for far too long like MVP vs. Matt Hardy. Two minutes, thirty two seconds.
Jeff Hardy climbed back in the ring to yell at MVP that if he ever mentions the fire or his dog again, he’ll show MVP what kind of man he is. MVP tried to attack, but Hardy hit the Twist of Fate, yelled that MVP made him sick and stomped him once. Later tonight, Jeff wrestles Great Khali. Hoo boy.
Backstage, Vickie and Chavo almost ran into the wedding planner. Bam Neely brought Chavo and Vick into the locker room before anything happened though.
In the ring, Mr. Kennedy said he has people on the edge of their seats waiting for those three words. He played a little call and response with the crowd, yelling “MISTAAAAAAA†and the crowd yelling “KENNEDY.†They did that twice before Kennedy finished it off “…Kennedy“. That’s five words. The US champ Shelton Benjamin cued his music and headed towards the ring for a match. This should be tasty.
Match #2: Ken Kennedy vs. US Champ Shelton Benjamin – non-title
Shelton put on a headlock. Kennedy got out and applied a wristlock and worked on the shoulder of the US champion. Shelton hit an overhead suplex for a one count. Shelton hit some forearms in the corner before Kennedy turned it around with some of his own. Kennedy hit a clothesline for two. Kennedy continued working the left shoulder of the champ, even rolling through an attempted scoop slam. Foley noted that both wrestlers had a similar haircut. Kennedy yelled his name again. What is he, a Pokemon? Shelton avoided an enziguri but Kennedy hit it on the second go round anyway. Shelton pulled Kennedy shoulder first into the ringpost.
Back from break, Shelton had Kennedy in an armlock. Kennedy got out but Shelton hit a knee to the gut for two. Shelton hit a nice shoulder breaker for two. Shelton applied a modified Lance Storm Doesn’t Approve Triangle Choke and nearly pinned himself. Kennedy tried to escape but Shelton moved it into a more traditional Fujiwura armbar. Kennedy got back to his feet and turned Shelton over into a figure four half Boston crab. Nice counter indeed. Shelton got the ropes and leveraged Kennedy out of the ring. Shelton sent Kennedy into the ring apron but Kennedy hit a leg kick to take him down. Kennedy hit a sort of facebuster for two. For the first time I can remember on Smackdown, a fan in the crowd brought the famous “2†sign! Shelton hit a cross body block for two. Kennedy went for a backslide but it was ineffective. Shelton shot him off but Kennedy hit the Mic Check for the pin and the win.
Your winner, by pinfall, Ken Kennedy! This was the best match on Smackdown in several weeks. I wish we had been allowed to see the entire match though. Kennedy picked a body part to work on and stuck to it. His finisher isn’t really focused on the shoulder, but I can buy that it’ll knock out an opponent for a few seconds. Some people may question the booking of someone beating the US champion clean in a non-title match like this, but if it leads to a rematch where the title is on the line, perhaps even at Summerslam, then what’s to complain about? Nine minutes, nine seconds of what was shown.
Maria interviewed Shelton afterwards. Shelton said he shouldn’t have been wrestling because he has an acute case of bronchitis. What a chickenshit heel.
Backstage the Edgeheads were talking about something, but Chavo interrupted to ask why Alicia Fox the wedding planner is here. Upon learning the Heads didn’t know, Chavo said when they find out, they should tell him ASAP. The Heads went back to whatever they were doing before Chavo could’ve possibly had enough time to leave the room.
Back from break, The Brian Kendrick made his way to the ring. His bodyguard’s name is Ezekiel, so now I know from the sound troubles from last week. Kendrick wants to make something clear. He has always been this way, he’s the most intelligent man in the WWE. Teaming with Paul London and wearing a phony smile got his foot in the door, but he doesn’t care about the fans. If we have problems with that, we can take it up with big ‘Zeke. Stevie Richards came out to the ring as the opposition.
Match #3: The Brian Kendrick vs. Stevie Richards
Kendrick went to quick work with leg kicks and kicks to the head of a downed Stevie. Kendrick applied a form of the camel clutch. Kendrick hit a small missile dropkick from the second rope. Kendrick applied the Walls of Jericho before breaking and hitting more kicks. Kendrick went for a flying forearm and Stevie hit kicks of his own to good crowd reaction and a two count. Stevie hit a modified chokebomb for two. Stevie hit a big boot on Kendrick, who landed right onto big ‘Zeke. Kendrick snapped Stevie over the ropes and hit Sliced Bread #2, which has apparently been renamed “The Kendrick,†for the win.
Your winner, by pinfall, The Brian Kendrick! As often as Stevie’s been back on TV lately, I kinda hope they push him a little. It’s one thing to have competitive squash matches and another to be actually competitive. Kendrick continues to look great in his new role, but what exactly can he do? Smackdown’s been all about building a new character of late, but not really giving them true feuds and matches. Exhibit A: Vladimir Kozlov. Three minutes, forty six seconds.
After the match, Ezekiel put Stevie in the Lex Luger Torture Rack.
Backstage, Edge arrived at the building.
Back from break, Runjin Singh cued Khali’s music for his match with Jeff Hardy. Khali became #1 Contender last week by winning the battle royal. Jeff Hardy cued his music as JR said Khali and Triple H have never met before. Not entirely true, though I don’t believe they’ve had any one on one matches.
Match #4: The Great Khali vs. Jeff Hardy
Khali and Hardy exchanged shoves and Hardy took a brief advantage with light offense and body blocks, but Khali hit a clothesline to take him down. Khali slammed his face into the buckle and stomped away. Khali hit Kevin Nash elbows as JR compared Khali’s influence in India to Yao Ming’s superstardom in China. Khali hit two one-armed scoop slams. Khali hit a headbutt and went back to the Nash elbow. Hardy worked his way back with boots, but Khali slapped him off the top rope to the floor.
Back from break, Khali hit a big clothesline. The former World champ applied the Tongan Death Grip. Hardy tried to fight out, but Khali reapplied it. Hardy finally did escape and Khali whipped him into the corner. Hardy leapt up and hit the Whisper in the Wind. Hardy went back up top and hit the Swanton Bomb. MVP tried to interfere but Hardy saw him coming and hit a somersault plancha. Khali caught him and hit a clothesline back into the ring. Khali applied the Vicegrip until he passed out. Somehow, Hardy was bleeding out of his shoulder.
Your winner, by ref stoppage (?), The Great Khali! So, Khali can take one of the most popular wrestlers in WWE and make him boring to watch, but he still needs MVP‘s distractions to beat him. What can possibly happen at Summerslam when he faces The Game of Politics with the gold on the line? Might be the most boring ppv matches since Tomko wrestled Stevie Richards in drag. Eight minutes, twenty one seconds.
MVP posed over Hardy’s fallen body as if he did anything.
JR sent it to the second video package on the soon to debut R-Truth. In case you didn’t know, he’s been to jail. I wonder if the monster Abyss was in that same prison.
Back from break, Maria made her way to the ring for a Divas contest. She finally doesn’t have that ridiculous techno song as her theme anymore. JR said Maria made the Smackdown fans wait for her debut, which reminded him of his junior high dating experience. Nice. Victoria came to the ring to wrestle.
Match #5: Maria vs. Victoria
Victoria took Maria down and applied a chinlock with a bridge. She tossed Maria out of the ring, yelling “Get out of my ring!†Maria hit a dropkick. Maria took her down with a headscissors. Victoria came back with a powerslam. She applied a nice and tight full nelson but Maria slid out. Victoria caught her and reapplied the Masterlock. Two or three guys tried to start a “Ma-ri-a†chant but some things just don’t sound good in a chant form. Maria hit a big kick and scored a sunset flip for two. Maria hit a “wasn’t exactly a Stan Hansen†lariat and scored the win with a middle rope clothesline.
Your winner, by pinfall, Maria! Has Maria gotten better as a wrestler? Yeah, sure. But should she be beating Victoria, a multi-time former Women‘s champion, especially with a finisher as weak as a clothesline? Not at all in my opinion. Two minutes, fifty seconds.
Edge and Alicia Fox talked backstage. Edge said he didn’t want her to be backstage, so he got her a ticket so she can watch The Cutting Edge up close. So how’d she get a backstage pass then?
The Big Show hit the button for his music and once again he’s all smiles.
Back from break, Domino was in the ring and Justin Roberts felt this match was good enough for full on ring announcements.
Match #6: The Big Show vs. Domino
Big Show slid Domino under the bottom rope to the floor. Show threw him to the mat. Domino’s serious now, taking off his shirt and throwing it at Domino. Show his a big boot, a chop, a clothesline and the Chokeslam and it was over.
Your winner, by pinfall, The Big Show. Squash city. One minute, nineteen seconds.
Umaga cued his music after the match and came down to the ring. Show was ready to fight as they stared at each other. Nothing happened before they cut away.
Chavo told Vickie backstage that he and Bam couldn’t find out who Edge’s guest is.
Back from break, Edge began his entrance for The Cutting Edge show. Mick Foley said maybe his guest will be George W. Bush, because the president could use Smackdown’s kind of ratings. Ooo, that one wins the R. Phillip Provencio Sick Burn Award. A table, a ladder, and a chair are in the ring. Edge says he’s been looking for inner peace all week because his marriage is in a rough patch and he’s going to be wrestling Hell in a Cell against the Undertaker soon. The crowd chanted “Un-der-tak-er *clapclap clapclapclap*.†Edge watched all the previous HIAC matches and maybe it was a mistake because he’s seen the destruction. Tonight, he’s surrounded himself with his instruments of destruction, the weapons that helped him banish the Taker in the first place. And he’s found the one person that can help him in Hell in a Cell. He knows Taker better than anyone else and is the guest on the Cutting Edge tonight. He rolled out to ringside and announced Mick Foley. The crowd chanted “Foley†as Edge invited him in the ring. Foley agreed because Edge said “please.†Foley is a hero. Edge said he and Foley have a long history, apparently a bad one, forgetting the fact that Foley and Edge were tag partners most recently, and co-holders of the Hardcore Title just before Two Night Stand in 2006. Edge has prepared a video for Foley about the Attitude Era, showcasing some of the highlights from that time. But there was one moment that stood out amongst all others. The Hell in a Cell match between The Undertaker and Mankind/Mick Foley. A decade later, is that the legacy of a hardcore legend? Edge says he knows Foley’s body feels that match every day of his life. The amazing thing was even after that brutal beating, Foley walked back on his own. He says he knows Foley can’t walk the same anymore, and he knows that the fire of knowing Taker did that to him eats away at his soul. Edge says that if Foley helps him against the Undertaker, maybe Foley can exercise some personal demons. Foley says he’d like to help, but over the last few weeks is that Edge has hurt his credibility because the power of his words is all he has left. Foley has said that Edge is the greatest superstar in the WWE even when it isn’t popular to do so. He says unless the fans have a really long memory, they think Edge sucks because they see the cheating, dastardly Edge every week. Foley goes on to say that not only will he not help, he can’t help, but he knows the one person who can. That person is Edge. He has to find the Edge that inspired him to say he was the greatest superstar in WWE. He needs to find the Edge that engaged in the greatest hardcore match in Wrestlemania history just two years ago and he needs to find that Edge who likes the smell of burning of flesh because it reminds him of victory. Foley says if he brings the current, sponge-bathing, white tuxedo-wearing, can’t live without you Edge to Summerslam, the Taker will tear him apart. Edge says he understands, and cracked Foley with the mic. Foley came back on the outside until Edge cracked him with a big boot Van Daminator. Edge Speared Foley into the ring steps. Foley climbed back into the ring as Edge set up the equipment. Foley applied the Mandible Claw but Edge kicked him low and lay his prone body on the table. Edge grabbed a chair and climbed up the ladder and dropped a Masato Tanaka chair-aided elbow drop on Foley through the table. This promo was awesome. Go out of your way to watch it.
Favorite match: Ken Kennedy vs. Shelton Benjamin. Call me crazy, but I like a good back and forth match onTV. This was one of those matches. Hopefully, a win by Kennedy means that this will turn into a feud with a title match at Summerslam. Also, while not a match, this edition of The Cutting Edge was a hell of a pro wrestling promo and a good brawl to boot. You should watch it and see if you agree.
Least favorite match: Maria vs. Victoria. I don’t understand Victoria’s on-again, off-again pushes. She brings in Natalya Neidhart and things look like they’re going on the up for Vic, but she doesn’t “impress Vickie enough†to get the title match at the Bash, Neidhart loses and disappears, and suddenly Victoria’s losing to interviewers again. I don’t get it.
Hope you enjoyed the Crackdown. Keep your teeth clean!
