Breaking Holds – Episode 7

Columns

Today’s Episode: Punked

First of all, an apology for missing my last article two weeks ago. No, this is not the start of a long line of slackitude, but instead an unfortunate situation where I was out of the country (New Zealand and Australia, to be precise), with limited internet access and zero opportunities to catch any televised wrestling.

That being said, I just completely erased what I’d spent the last half hour writing because I felt this was a better idea. Hopefully, I’m right.

Like much of the IWC, I had my own little bits of happiness and doubt in the collective orgasm that was CM Punk winning the world title. Of course I was happy. After all, here was a talented, charismatic, drug-free journeyman of the indies, having paid his dues through hard work and experience, taking arguably the biggest prize in the industry. Of course, Glazer might say that that is really the Ring of Honor World Title, but we know that he’s high on mushrooms or something all the time, so we’ll just go with the Raw world title as the more prestigious for the sake of the article.

Okay, so he won the title by picking up the decimated leavings of a much bigger, more established superstar, and that kind of sort of went against his entire gimmick of having the drive for competition. I had hoped that Punk would cash in the briefcase during a singles or, even better, a triple threat match, winning the title in a way that would be the most difficult for him. But still, I was willing to see where the company went with this. They even trotted out Rey Mysterio and John Cena to congratulate the kid, giving a proverbial pat on the back with a “Welcome to the big leagues there, slugger!” It reeked of either desperation or an honest attempt to make something special out of the indy sensation from the Second City.

But then I noticed the stagnance of Punk’s title reign, and I got worried. His match with Batista was one that I tremendously enjoyed, but then Kane walked out to attack for no apparent reason, as if they didn’t trust Punk to go over, but didn’t quite feel right taking the title off of him immediately. He also has yet to give that defining interview that makes him a bigger deal than he currently is, and it’s possible that he just doesn’t have it in him. He’s not a bad interview, per se, but he’s nowhere near a Jericho or Michaels level, which is a vein that he’s somewhat physically reminiscient of. Punk just doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, running in circles by facing, of all people, JBL at Summerslam, arguably the second or third biggest show of the year depending on where you put the Royal Rumble or Survivor Series. The man had already beaten JBL the first night of his reign, albeit with some distraction from Cena and Cryme Tyme, which even furthers my point. Punk hasn’t been allowed to accomplish anything on his own, and eventually, people aren’t going to buy him as the man addicted to competition if he’s continually booked as a scavenger in the style of the very man he beat to bring the title to Raw.

I read a report on this site that said that Punk is being booked to look somewhat weak so that fans feel that they can rally behind the babyface as he squeaks out a win. While some dark, twisted, moronic part of me can see the logistics of that, the wrestling fan in me wants to scream. Who is the most popular champion that the company has had in the last year? HHH, correct? Sure, Cena was a big deal, but 40%-60% of the audience hated him on any given night, while HHH recieved screams and cheers from the big manly marks while a few guys on the internet grumbled about him. Can’t it be argued that HHH, the most popular champion in the company, with absolutely huge crowd reactions, is also the most dominant force of any show that he’s on? So why should someone who is consistently losing or scraping by be worthy of our cheers? The last champion to go with this whole “plucky underdog babyface” role was Rey Mysterio, who has since been devalued to the point that no fans believe him capable of accomplishing anything anymore. No one believes that he can be the champion again and, due to the pathetic nature in which he was booked, no one really has any desire to see him as champion again.

Wrestling fans don’t want to see our heroes, our idols, scraping by through sneakiness or luck. That’s what the bad guys do.

CM Punk is the hero that wrestling needs, and WWE is willing to simply let him come off as a goof who can’t hold a candle to the “real” main eventers like Batista or even John Bradshaw Layfield, a man so physically decrepit and incapable that his already mediocre wrestling skills aren’t able to reach the former “glory” that made us not buy him as a champion for a year the first time around. Here we have a wrestler who is guaranteed never to test positive for steroids, never to be arrested for smoking pot while visiting a Taiwanese hooker, and can basically be someone that kids can look up to while not being a bland vanilla babyface. Punk is edgy, tough, smart, and unique, while not being scary or bizarre to outsiders, unless you classify a couple of piercings as scary in 2008.

Perhaps I’m being a bit too in love with Punk here, although I tend to LIKE Punk’s matches, not love them. I suppose it just frustrates me that when there’s finally something new to play around with, WWE is simply too frightened to let this man be an actual threat to the established stars that have little to nothing to fear. CM Punk is never going to be Muscles O’Malley, so Cena, JBL, and Batista are all fine, and Jericho has, frankly, been awesome in his heel role thus far, so I’m sure he’ll be fine…for now. I’m sure in a few weeks there’ll be a pro-Jericho column from me screaming about something or other.

Yet, I’m optomistic. Punk losing to JBL is unlikely, as he’s already beaten him, and there are such great future possibilities that I simply can’t see the fed giving up on Punk just yet. He’s headlining house shows against Jericho, which can be an outstanding series of matches, and he has yet to wrestle Cena yet, and a loss to Punk could be the PERFECT situation to turn Cena AND Cryme Tyme as a new heel faction, an idea which I’m very keen on, meaning it will never happen.

So, my plea to WWE is to take the lessons learned from the handling of Rey Mysterio, and not to make the same mistakes. The man can be a hero, so if you want him to be a face, let him BE that hero. Otherwise, turn him heel, call him Edgecito, and I imagine we’ll probably be okay with that, too. Just let us love someone worth loving.

Ivan prides himself on being a wrestling fan that can tie both of his own shoes by himself, as well as having an analytic mind when it comes to the fake sport that he's loved ever since he watched Jake Roberts DDT Boris Zhukov on Prime Time Wrestling.