Pulse Wrestling’s Real-Time Coverage of WWE RAW 08.11.08

Reviews, Shows, Top Story, TV Shows

I’m back in the house this week and I feel for a certain Mr. Glazer for having to cover a TNA Pay-Per-View last night.  Perhaps my report on RAW tonight may cheer him up a bit.  Here’s to you Aaron!

Last week: Batista & Cena won the Tag Team Titles….but will it stick?

I want your comments!

WWE: No Russo Needed.

We open up with one half of the NEW World Tag Team Champions, John Cena!  He reminds us of Adamle’s match making skills, especially for Batista v. John Cena at Summerslam.  He has no issues with Batista.  He saw Adamle today, and he said that Adamle does not know what he has done and that was to put Cena and Batista for the first time.  We need nothing to hype it up, except for Cena and Batista to be in the ring right now.

Batista is quicker on the reply this week and Batista is ready to roll!  Cena puts the team over as the new champions, but if they don’t co-exist tonight, they will suffer defeat.  This match is six years in the making, as Cena has been watching Batista for the past six years.  Batista had Triple H and Ric Flair teaching him the ropes, but Cena had turned critics into believers.  Between the two, who’s better?  The fans can’t decide, but on Sunday, they well and it will be Cena.  Batista responds that they are two sides of the same coin.  Batista tries to psyche Cena up.  Batista says that he’ll be the better of the two.

They stare into each other until Cena extends his hand.  They shake on it!

Later tonight, the tag titles will be up for grabs!

Commercials. 

WWE gets honored from the CINE.  Okay…

Kelly Kelly is bad tonight, she’s wearing hot pink pants and not shorts!  Better than her opponent, I can say.

Kelly Kelly v. Beth Phoenix
Divas Match

Santino is on commentary!  The bell sounds and Beth chest bumps Kelly.  Kelly takes offense and SLAPS Beth and she almost gets a rollup for the win, but Beth kicks out.  Kelly is hot tonight, but she goes cold immediately following a press slam.  Beth aserts control as she gets a two count following choking Kelly on the ropes.  Beth does another press slam attempt, but Kelly ROLLS HER UP FOR TWO!  Kelly runs at Beth and she gets planted for three.

Winner: Beth Phoenix
Grade: C

Oh God, Santino has a microphone.  He tells Beth to do that move again, but Mickie James & Kofi Kingston run down the ramp and Beth & Santino run away, only for Santino challenging somebody to a match.  Kofi accepts, but Santino was talking to Mickie.  Kofi says that if Santino wants a match it’ll be against him.  Santino talks crap about Mickie, and Mickie accepts.

Commercials.

Santino Marella v. Mickie James
Non-Title; Intergender Match

Yup, we are back with this match in progress.  Santino berated her parents during commercials and James gets a headlock on Santino! Arm drag by Santino and they both SWEEP EACH OTHER’S LEG!  Mickie gets a drop toe hold and she rides Santino like a bitch!  She pays for it with a scoop slam.  The knee drop hits canvas and Santino calls for a time out!  Mickie works the knee and Santino entices Kofi, which allows Beth to do the damage and pull Mickie’s tights for the win.  If that’s the only way he’s getting any ass, then I am surprised.  Sucks that Mickie loses yet again IN HER HOMETOWN!

Winner: Santino Marella
Grade: C

The Adamle works with the Regean Initative.  Kane comes in and he wants to know why he was summoned.  Adamle books Kane v. Jericho tonight and he wants to know what’s in the sack.  Kane says not a chance, and Adamle pitches the idea of kids going back to school and all that.  Kane simply responds that he’s making a huge mistake.

Commercials.

We get a WWE 24/7 Classics on Demand video on the World Tag Titles.

Then we go to the former Tag Team Champions, who claim to respect history.  They play into our minds that Cena and Batista aren’t a team. 

Tonight: Kane v. Chris Jericho – Summerslam Match on RAW!

Also tonight: CM Punk sees what he’s in store for with JBL’s “Challenge that he can’t win!”

Commercials.

We’re back and if you want to, text Cena or Batista to 44993 to answer the age old question: Who’s the better star?

Cryme Tyme is in the house!  Also making their way back from somewhere, the Highlanders!

Cryme Tyme v. The Highlanders

Rory and Shad begin things off, but JTG quickly gets involved and gets tossed over the top.  Rory works some offense and gets a two count.  Rory locks on a reverse Nelson  and JTG backdrops out of it.  In come Robbie and Shad.  Shad hits a stalling brainbuster on Robbie and Rory gets taken out.  The Ne-whatever Jerry Lawler called it finishes it!

Winners: Cryme Tyme
Grade: C

JBL v. Punk is NEXT!

Commercials.

Tomorrow Night on ECW: OPPONENTS TEAM UP!  Hardy/Henry v. Morrison/Miz!

We are back and we get word that Randy Orton was involved in a Motorcycle accident.  We wish Orton a speedy recovery!

JBL makes his way down the ramp as the ring is decroated!  He’s met by Punk.  JBL already calls Punk’s title run pathetic and Punk gets a voice of his own.  Punk says that the title is around his waist is because he earned it.  We’re a week away from Summerslam and Punk remembers it.  He’s got guts talking down JBL a bit.  When he beats JBL, he’ll prove that he is the man.  JBL complains about Cena and Batista and he talks down Punk. He continues to call Punk Cinderella and out comes the gimmick match – a bottle of Jack.  One could smell this a mile away.  All Punk has to do is drink a shot of Jack and he’ll beat JBL.  Punk says that if he drinks this and he’s like him?  He’s not JBL – he’s CM Punk.  He’s not going to compromise his beliefs for the sake of JBL.  Damn, Punk is God tonight.  JBL toasts himself, but Punk stops it.  He looks as if he’s going to drink it, but he THROWS IT IN JBL’S FACE!  Knee lift to the face connects and Punk is standing tall!

Commercials.

Recap of Shawn’s interview last week.  He’ll be at Summerslam.

Time for the match not important enough to be on Summerslam!

Chris Jericho v. Kane
Summerslam Match on RAW

The bell sounds and Jericho takes it to Kane.  Kane fires back and HE HITS A DROPKICK!  He bashes Jericho’s head to the turnbuckle and he hurls him across the ring.  Elbow drop misses and Jericho tries to send Kane to the ropes.  Bad idea.  Instead, Jericho is getting assaulted on the outside.  Cade tries to interfere and the distraction worked as Jericho hits the Springboard!  Jericho is the aggressor, but Kane tries to gety back up.  Jericho has a headlock locked on and he runs into a sidewalk slam!  Kane isn’t able to capitalize as Jericho goes up top.  He lands as Kane gets a throat jab.  Jericho tries to apply the Walls, but Kane hits a proper sidewalk slam before going to the top!  Jericho senses this and he quickly goes to the top.  He gets knocked down and CLOTHESLINE BY KANE!

Mike Adamle is out with a plethora of security forces!  GOOZLE to Jericho!  Jericho gets out of it and he walks into a big boot.  Kane grabs the sack and Jericho hits the Codebreaker!  That’s the match.

Winner: Chris Jericho
Grade: B

Kane clutches on the sack and Mike Adamle steps inside the ring.  We need this to be resolved and he’s here to help.  Mike knows what’s inside.  He is Kane and He is the monster inside of Kane.  Kane tried to be normal, but he can’t do it.  He wants the bag and we deserve to know what Kane is hiding.  He advances closer and makes another Ronald Regean reference.  Hand Me That Bag!  Kane gets closer and he grabs the microphone.  Kane says that there is a mask in the bag.  The man who wore the mask was scarred.  The problem is that it’s not Kane’s mask.  HE PULLS OUT REY MYSTERIO’S MASK!  He laughs as he leaves the ring!

Recap of Cena v. Batista.

Commercials.

Last week, Layla was interrupted by William Regal.  Jaime Noble took offense and tonight, we get this.

William Regal v. Jaime Noble

The bell sounds and Regal backs Noble in the corner.  He beats the hell out of Noble, sending him back first in the ropes.  He covers for two.  Noble gets a Dragon Screw, followed by the human torpedo for one!  Noble goes on top and gets a cross body for two.  Regalplex connects, as does the boot to the head.  That gets three.

Winner: William Regal
Grade: D

Last Friday, La Familia met their destruction by Edge!

Commercials.

We’re back and Cena has 73% of the fan’s support as the better superstar. I smell a rat.

John Cena & Batista v. Simply Priceless
World Tag Team Championship Match

Batista and Cena argue as to who’s gonna start first.  Batista wins the argument.  The bell rings and Cena tags himself him cheekily and gets owned by Rhodes & DiBiase.  Rhodes hits a Russian Leg Sweep for two as Cena is regretting tagging in.  Cena ducks a charge and he hits the shoulder tackle.  Protobomb hits and DiBiase gets sent flying.  Five Knuckle Shuffle, YOU CAN’T SEE ME, BATISTA!  We go to commercials.

Commercials.

Welcome back and Cena is still being owned by DiBiase!  Cena tries to fight back.  He misses a corner charge and BATISTA GETS THE TAG!  Batista beats the Hell out of DiBiase and he runs into a boot.  SPINEBUSTER to DiBiase!  DiBiase goes for the ride, but Cena stops it and Rhodes chop blocks the knee!  Rhodes works on the knee, but Batista has another good leg.  Dropkick to the knees and Rhodes gets a La Magistral for two!  Rhodes runs into a powerslam, but Batista is hurting.  He SLAPS CENA IN THE FACE!  DiBiase shoves Cena into Batista and rolls him up, utilizing the tights!

Winners and NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase
Grade: C+

Cena calls Batista in the ring and they stare at each other.  They chase off a sneak attack, and they send the new champs into the steel steps.  Batista calls Cena into the ring and Cena walks away.  Nevermind, Cena walks into the ring, but security stops any chance of a fight from starting.  They break through and they BRAWL!  They can’t stop it and ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE! 

Show Over.

The WWE RAW Report Card

Simply Priceless d. Cena & Batista: C+
William Regal d. Jaime Noble: D
Chris Jericho d. Kane: B
Cryme Tyme d. The Highlanders: C
Santino Marella d. Mickie James: C
Beth Phoenix d. Kelly Kelly: C

The Final Grade for WWE RAW 08.11.08: C

An average show wrestling wise, but with six days to go, they sold a few matches for Summerslam.  The CM Punk/JBL segment sold me on the slight possibility that Punk may go over at Summerslam.  Other than that, at least it was a cakewalk tonight.  Have a great week and see you Thursday for a Special Edition of TMR!

Paul Marshall has been with Pulse Wrestling since September 2007. He currently does a weekly WWE Column titled "This Week In 'E". Follow him on Twitter here.