The SmarK DVD Rant for The X-Files: Revelations

The SmarK DVD Rant for The X-Files: Revelations

– This is subtitled "The essential guide to the X-Files movie" which is kind of funny because it actually has absolutely nothing to do with the movie and Chris Carter later clarified that it’s more of a primer for new fans who want to see the movie. Given how badly X-Files 2 bombed, however, that strategy clearly was a failure. Plus FOX sent this to me a month after release date anyway, so let’s ignore the movie tie-in aspect and just focus on the episodes, shall we?

The Show

So back in the university, in order to hang with the A-list nerd crowd, you had to be at least conversant in three things:

1) C++

2) Babylon 5

3) The X-Files

Sadly, I only ever learned standard C and some machine language, so I never got into the real cool nerd nightclubs, but I was definitely if nothing else a casual viewer of The X-Files from season one onwards. I don’t recall particularly being a fan of the show (or "X-Phile" for you old school geeks out there) but I watched and could make the requisite jokes about Mulder’s porn obsession or how Scully rarely got laid. However, that was back when I was 19 and now I’m 34 and have forgotten it all, and watching these 8 episodes made me realize that holy cow, this is a great show and now I might have to pick up the season sets and actually pay attention this time around. So if nothing else, this set has accomplished THAT.

So what we’ve got here are 8 episodes from seasons 1 – 6, back when the show was good, featuring a cross-section of "monster of the week" and comedy episodes so that new viewers don’t have to get too overwhelmed by all the super-serious "mythology" stuff that’s wrapped up in the early seasons. That means a minimum of Cigarette Man and Skinner and lots of fun, self-contained episodes. Each one is introduced by Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz and they’re all pretty great, actually.

Disc One

"Pilot". Pretty easy explanation here, it’s the first one! Some of the details are a little exaggerated here, like Mulder being more kooky than he normally would be, but the elements are all there and it still sucked me in right away. Fresh-faced (and a little pudgy-faced) new agent Dana Scully gets assigned to help noted weirdo Fox "Spooky" Mulder with a secret branch of the FBI known as the X-Files, and right away they’re off to Oregon to investigate possible alien abductions and murders. The dynamic is there right away: Mulder wants to believe, Scully wants the proof. And the great thing is that the mystery is presented in such a way that you can take either side and still feel satisfied by it. And this isn’t a show where there’s easy solutions to show that science is right and Mulder is a kook, either, as everything is often left unexplained and up to the viewer to judge.

"Beyond the Sea". Another great one from the first season, as Scully’s dad dies and she’s having visions of him. But then people are being kidnapped and tortured so life goes on. A death row inmate (played by Brad Dourif, your one-stop shop for all your scumbag character needs) claims to have the power to communicate with demons and the dead, including both the serial killer AND Scully’s dad, so everyone is a little bit shaken up. In a nice twist, Mulder is convinced he’s faking and working with the killer, and Scully just wants to believe, but everyone just wants to find the killer before he kills two kids, whether it involves old-fashioned police work or the ramblings of a madman. Dourif is spectacular as the Hannibal Lecter-styled psychic here and I always loved this one, especially Mulder exposing him in grandiose manner with a piece of t-shirt. Again, was he really a psychic? Up to you to decide.

"The Host". Another one that everyone who’s seen the show loves. From season 2, it’s the famous Flukeman episode, as I guarantee that if one doesn’t creep you out for days, then there’s something wrong with you. Hell, I’d have put "Home" on this set too to really shake people up. Anyway, the sewers of New Jersey have a bigger problem than just alligators — there’s something that’s half-human and half-worm infesting them, and it’s attacking people through the toilet. C’mon, how awesome is that? Lots of really unsettling gross-out moments with parasites infecting people here and Mulder wandering the sewers gives him lots of dark comedy moments. Probably the best "monster of the week" episode they did.

"Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose". And this is probably the funniest comedy episode they did. A serial killer is taking out psychics, which introduces us to The Stupendous Yappi, who storms into a scene and just tears the house down with only his eyebrows. And then Mulder unleashes scathing sarcasm with "We’re looking for a white male, aged 17-34, who may or may not have a beard and a tattoo, right" and just brings the awesome. The actual plot of the show focused on Peter Boyle as Clyde Bruckman, a psychic who unfortunately only has the power to accurately predict when people are going to die and little else. This sets up the funniest line of the entire series, as he casually remarks to Mulder about how auto-erotic asphyxiation is the most humiliating way to die and Mulder gives a hilarious double-take. It’s not only hilarious, but a great concept about how sometimes people with gifts can’t make use of them and don’t want them.

Disc Two

"Memento Mori". From season 4. This is the only "mythology" episode of the set, as Scully has cancer and the blame may or may not rest with her abduction by aliens. It’s also one of the very few appearances by the Cigarette Smoking Man in this set, as Skinner warns Mulder against making a deal with him and then does so himself to try and save Scully’s life. Mulder, meanwhile, teams up with the Lone Gunmen and discovers that an infertility clinic is quite the opposite. This one might be a bit heavy with backstory for new viewers, but the performance from Gillian Anderson is well worth checking out.

"Post-Modern Prometheus". From season 5, and we’re into the widescreen era for the show. A black and white, comedic "monster of the week" episode, as Mulder and Scully travel to a small town to investigate an apparent two-headed freak named "Mutato" who is impregnating the trailer trash of the town after doping them. And it’s got John O’Hurley as a mad scientist, so you know it’s gonna rule. Once the Cher music starts breaking out, you know they’re having fun, and the running gag with Mulder in the diner is classic stuff. And in true X-Files fashion, the payoff where you learn who’s REALLY impregnating people makes you go "ew" while you’re laughing at it. Basically it’s Frankenstein by way of Chris Carter and it’s very entertaining.

"Bad Blood". Another comedy one sees the standard vampire tale turned into a "he said, she said" with Mulder and Scully getting to interpret each other with differing stories of a trip to a small town that is apparently being terrorized by a pizza-delivering vampire with fake teeth. Lots of funny moments here, from Scully’s seemingly-endless autopsies to Mulder’s jealousy of the sheriff to "as it turns out, shooting the wheels on a moving RV out is harder than it sounds." But it’s so well-written that the payoff will probably catch you as off-guard as it does the characters. And make you hungry for pizza.

"Milagro". And we finish in season 6, as a writer lives next door to Mulder and stalks Scully while writing a novel about a killer who is able to pull peoples’ hearts out of their chests without cutting them open. Or is it just a novel? That sense of "is this really happening or are they just screwing with our heads" is why this one works so well, I think, and really showcases the growing relationship between Mulder and Scully in the days before the show jumped the shark by having them Go There.

Not a weak one in the bunch here, although I have to wonder who the set is aimed at exactly. To be honest, newer fans would probably be better just picking up the season sets, starting with the first one, because they’re all pretty cheap these days. But if you’re a super-casual fan who’d like to know if this X-Files thing is for you, there’s worse ways to go than with this. Rating: *****

Video and Audio

Video is of course a mixed bag because the show switches from full-screen to widescreen midway through, and unlike some OTHER studios, Fox actually maintains the original aspect ratio instead of reformatting it to what they want. And they also do a bang-up job of remastering the video as well, as the early episodes look a little grainy but otherwise colors are great and the picture is crystal clear, even in the dark areas (which is a lot with this show). However, once it switches to 16×9, the difference is breathtaking, as you can see details in the faces that were missing before and things like the red of Gillian Anderson’s hair are much more vibrant. Unfortunately the show pre-dated the true HD era, so the sound is just Dolby Surround, which is a shame because if ever a show cried out for immersive audio it’s this one. Still, what is there is good, as dialogue is clear and the score is effective without being overpowering. Definitely one of the better TV transfers out there. Rating: ****

Bonus Features

Not much. You get introductions from Chris Carter on all the episodes, plus the trailer for X-Files: I Want To Believe and a 30-minute Q&A session from the San Diego Comic Con that again tells you absolutely nothing about the movie but is pretty fun nonetheless. So again, if you’re buying this to learn about the movie, you’re in the wrong place. Rating: **

Overall:

Although it’s a case of false advertising, this is a great selection of episodes that made me remember that I love this show and makes me want the season sets to go along with it. If you’re a new viewer, this is probably enough for you to get some backstory before you see the movie, but it’s kind of redundant for everyone else. Not necessary, but recommended nonetheless.