10 Thoughts on TNA Impact

David Wells has decided to pretend to have a college class at this time so that he can no longer cover TNA Impact 10 Thoughts. Well, look who you lucky bastards get back instead… for one week only.

1. Remember when the X-division was run like the knockouts division? Multiple good matches per week, with wrestlers from wherever. Since the knockouts draw such great ratings, why wouldn’t they run the X-Division the same way?

2. Lethal and Creed as partners makes a lot of sense. After all Lethal is in a blood feud for the love of his prospective wife, of course he has time to stop to help a brotha out.

Awesome botch on the springboard onto his neck by Petey. Would it be too much for a good wrestler to be in the X-title feud?

3. Setting up the daytime talk show with the cartoonish Abyss is hilarious. Why was Abyss let out of the mental hospital if he still has split personalities? His doctors apparently don’t watch Impact.

Then Abyss hits on Karen in a really insane way. Success. I remember why I quit Impact 10 Thoughts last time.

4. That leads into a horribly long Beautiful People promo. That wouldn’t have felt so bad if at least separated from the other goofy segment by a serious match. TNA doesn’t get the whole “variety show” portion of things. Kute Kip is an absolutely heat sucking addition to a successful act. TNA needs to learn that if it ain’t broke…

5. Cornette’s segment was pretty sexist. First- women speak a different language than men. Next- women who outlive their “shelf-life” have to go. Last- Traci will never drown. Sue for sexual harassment Traci!

6. A 50-year-old Kevin Nash against Kurt Angle with a broken neck! Ladies and gentlemen, Total Nonstop Action!

Shawn vs. Diesel ‘96 or Angle vs. Undertaker ‘06 this aint. A slow, sloppy match with poor selling by Nash and unneeded Joe distractions. Angle wins. * 1/2

7. Punk, who gets nearly no WWE mic time, even as champion, is great when allowed on the commentary at Saturday Night’s Main Event. Joe, the TNA champ who gets constant mic time, sounds nervous and hurried on commentary.

8. So, guitar shots are a TNA thing now. Speaking for the greatest Intercontinental Champion ever, Honky Tonk Man, fuck you TNA!

9. Well, the “cut Taylor Wilde’s hair” angle didn’t do much for me, but Stacy and her sister started yelling “No!” at the TV, so I guess it worked. Rhino had no reason to show up… besides getting in Taylor’s pants anyway.

10. Sting says a lack of respect for what came before is the cause of his actions. This draws AJ, who rightfully says that he helped make TNA, which is really giving Sting somewhere to work. Sting, for some reason, offers AJ his back with the bat, which has nothing to do with anything he said and totally ignores all that AJ and Kurt have feuded over. AJ turns Sting around, but Sting attacks him first. This causes Jarrett’s music to hit. Well, at least the focus is on making the new guys like Jarrett and Sting look good.

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