For Your Consideration… Marine Down

Welcome to week 72.

Sorry this is a little late, but I promise I have excuses unrelated to my general malaise and laziness. First off, for those of you who are too wrapped up in the Olympics, you probably missed the bitchfest that was Tropical Storm Fey. This thing knocked out my satellite for a little while (forcing me to miss the end of the Punk/Jericho match from last week’s RAW, not to mention “The Middleman”, which for some reason ABC chooses to never reair despite the fact that they are gracious enough to throw out references to “Back to the Future” and “Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer” with reckless abandon) and cost me a day of school. Yeah, that damned school thing means most of my free time is usurped by law school. By the time I actually got to download the end of the Jericho match, download ECW, sit through them, write the column and get to upload it, it was Thursday afternoon. And lo and behold the school’s Internet went down. Oh well, such is life.

Since I missed last week’s column completely due to the technical snafus, I planned on doing a special weekend edition. First of, bossman MM doesn’t like weekend columns due to the readership numbers being about 2 (which is odd since I usually have my weekends free and use it to catch up on columns that I missed). Second, last Friday night while downtown celebrating my return to law school, got a little liquored up and put my fist through a parking machine and pretty much broke my hand. That kind of limited my ability to type over the weekend, not to mention makes taking notes in class a real bitch. Alright, enough of this, down to action…

Two weeks ago I got quite a bit of positive feedback when I went out on a limb and continued my lambasting of TNA by dissecting “Hard Justice”. Was I too harsh on the show? Not even close. Last week I intended to dissect “Summerslam”, but again…weather.

My quick thoughts:

• Jeff Hardy and MVP put on a decent if underwhelming opening match, though I still honestly believe they have what it takes to hold up the main event. Well, I honestly believe that MVP has what it takes to be the top heel on Friday Nights. Jeff’s blown it so many times that he just quite frankly bores me at this point. Porter’s ready for the “bright lights”, but more on that later.
• Glamorella needed to get the IC and Women’s title to keep the gag going. I think that the WWE was going to go forward with a Kofi/Cade feud, but his injury sort of left them in a lurch and rather than show any faith in Kingston, they just hotshotted the belt to Santino, who can embrace his inner Honky Tonk Man. Plus, by taking the belt off Kofi without having to get pinned, he’s still got a legitimate gripe as to why he should be the champion. Beth as the women’s champion isn’t the most offensive thing in the world, especially with Gail Kim coming back into the mix.
• The Shawn Michaels/Chris Jericho segment was very well done and very intense, though I would have preferred to see it on RAW. By giving “the” moment of the storyline on a pay-per-view, you’re preventing a large majority of your audience from seeing the ultimate heel move by Jericho. In a way you’re cutting his legs out from under him, because you can show all the replays in the world, but that initial moment was something that solidified him as the cowardly heel to end all cowardly heels. Still, this is a continuation of the longest running feud in the WWE and it has been done to perfection. These two really seem to hate each other, but there is a fatal flaw at the end of this tale; Jericho has to win. Chris Jericho, once free from Shawn Michaels, is going to be the number one heel on RAW. To escape as the #1 heel, he needs to go over Michaels. Is Shawn really willing to let his wife get hit, get jobbed out due to blood loss and constantly get trumped and in the end lay down and end the feud? Hmm…
• The ECW Title match was kept short for a very, very good reason. Did the WWE want Mark Henry to stink up the show when they knew Khali was going to be going more than five minutes? Was it insulting to ECW? Sure. But not enough to really taint the brand. It is currently the show with the hottest young roster and since the WWE didn’t give the belt to Hardy the following Tuesday, it’s clear that they have different plans for the gold.
• CM Punk and JBL have been having some surprisingly watchable matches considering JBL is broken down and Punk has been handcuffed to the point where he not only has to do his version of the “five moves of doom”, but he has to do them as the ultimate underdog. Look, Punk got the clean pin so let’s just be happy that he’s still the champion.
• Hunter pulled a slightly decent match against Khali, which was what I predicted in the Roundtable. Khali still looked like a monster, Hunter looked like a dragon slayer and the WWE can now get a Smackdown main event rematch out of it and know it won’t be the worst thing ever.
• Batista/Cena wasn’t a five star match and it wasn’t a snoozefest, but it was somewhere in the middle. The two of them put on one of the best matches they could do considering their limited movesets and the fact that they are still the templates for the WWE style. Cena’s injury (coming up in a bit) ups how good the match was now that we know he was working hurt. I still don’t get the clean pin, since they should have saved it for Mania, but now it appears to be a moot point.
• Edge and the Undertaker had an entertaining but unmemorable Hell in a Cell match. I think it showed that Edge really was the best of the best at this point, willing to do anything possible to get the match over. I liked the match and when I rewatched it I liked it more. Except for the ending. Last week’s column was going to be dedicated completely to the fire pit ending, but that ship has sailed. The fire pit at the end was beyond excessive and it was downright silly. If Edge comes out of the pit unscathed then we’ve ended one of the most grounded storylines in insanity. It makes no sense to end in this cartoony way since the match was the only one on the show that was really not for kids. It had weapons and hardcore violence so you’re insulting your adult audience while enticing your youth audience to watch a match that was not geared to them. 0 for 2.

So the two big stories of the week are Cena’s injuries and Foley’s move to TNA. I’m going to tackle the Cena issue now and save Foley’s HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE decision for next week (not to tip my hat or anything as to where I stand). To quote the Joker, “And here…we…go…”

For Your Consideration…Marine Down

Cena’s injury this week has changed so much that no one knows whether to believe the work or the shoot news. First it’s a minor neck injury, then it’s severe. First he’s out for a long time, then he’s back in a few months. For the love of Foley (last time I’ll get to use that once Mick signs his contract and I disavow any knowledge of him), give us a straight answer!

John Cena went the majority of his career without injury. His rise to the top seemed to be predicated on the fact that he was a tank and seemed to just keep going without a tear or a break or a sprain. Now? Two injuries in two years. The last injury was supposed to keep him down for a year and seemed fatal. This injury? Not so much. RAW without Cena now is actually more of a blessing. In fact, the WWE without Cena right now might not be the worst thing in the world.

I have said for the longest time that I am a Cena fan. I’m not a Cena mark, mind you. I don’t really “root” for him to hold the gold or win. I’m not a fan of his character all that much. I don’t think he’s that great of a wrestler and I don’t sit intently hoping to see him wrestle. I’m a fan of John Cena the person. He has the most positive attitude probably in the history of the WWE. Sure, you’d be happy too if you were THE guy on the show, but Cena seemed genuinely willing to do whatever the company wants. I know I’ve said it before, but the guy was willing to cut a CD for them, star in a movie for them, travel around the world as a goodwill ambassador, do autograph signings, go to every Make a Wish event and never once has there been a story about him throwing a tantrum or doing ‘roids or even being a dick. He’s the model wrestler; a guy who loves the sport, works his ass off, puts over anyone he’s asked to and never does anything less than 100% in the ring. It sucks that he’s hurt and I hope he gets back in the ring soon.

With that said, Cena’s absence isn’t the worst thing to happen to RAW. Right now, all three brands have very strong rosters with an incredible and almost unprecedented youth movement, and Cena was at risk to get lost in the shuffle. Sure, he’s been getting jobbed out quite a bit over the past few months, but that’s just to keep the fans from really turning on him (and I hate to tell you that it was working, considering most crowds have been popping for him louder than ever), but his jobs have been calculated.

Cena’s absence from the main event scene makes everything very interesting. The WWE has quite an interesting top level; Batista, Shawn Michaels, Rey Mysterio, Kane, JBL, Chris Jericho and CM Punk. There are a lot of established guys sitting at the top, and any of them could carry the belt and the company wouldn’t lose a step. With Cena out of the mix, the WWE may take this opportunity to let Punk run with the strap a little longer, and no one in the IWC is going to disagree with that. Having Cena walk around this long and not be part of the title scene just seemed odd. It would be like having Tommy Dreamer go on a winning streak or Smackdown have the same announce team for more than two weeks. By taking him out of the picture, the WWE is free to continue the Punk experiment and not feel the pressure to drop the belt to Cena.

The WWE youth movement on Smackdown is nothing short of astonishing. Mainly I’m talking about The Brian Kendrick. By giving him a chance to step into the main event picture, Smackdown has created yet another guy outside of the mold who will be viewed as a potential top guy. This helps give Punk credibility but it also helps Cena upon his return. He’ll have different guys to potentially work with instead of carrying a stream of stiffs, which will only make him work better.

World Wrestling Entertainment can still milk the Cena injury storyline while throwing out there one of the strongest rosters they’ve probably ever had. Smackdown’s strong, ECW’s strong, and even without John, RAW is strong. Maybe now Vince will see that new superstars who can work are worth pushing.

Sure it sucks that John’s hurt, but in the end of the day it might be the best thing to happen to the WWE in a while. As long as they don’t freak out. Please don’t let them freak out. Please.

This has been for your consideration.