I’m tempted to just make 1-15 “Hey, does everyone know TNA has a video game coming out already?” But you deserve better than that. That, and I pre-ordered the stupid thing last night, so it obviously worked on me.
1. So, seriously, what accent is Booker going for now; African or Al Pacino’s Scarface?
2. Angle and Booker’s evil plan, which they laid out in the middle of the ring, included violating Double J’s rectum with his guitar. Only Rocky could get away with talking about that sort of thing without sounding like he was in a bad prison movie.
3. Christian called Booker Whoopi Goldberg. Funny and sort of culturally relevant! He really is the best performer in TNA. I wonder if he’ll join the Millionaires’ Club like Booker and Angle wanted him to. Either side he picks in this upcoming redux of a failed WCW angle, he’s kind of lost in the shuffle. He may be better off going back to WWE and having that feud with Edge. Or doing anything else, really.
4. Easy political analogy to make this political and try to leech off Eric’s heat; Sting, Angle and Booker are McCain to Joe and AJ’s Obama. Or Joe Obama, which is just a name that rolls off the tongue.
5. Joe and AJ both gave good promos tonight. For once, AJ got to be all intense, but both laid out why Sting is the heel here (he’s earning a ton of money for doing zilch) better than TNA has been doing in the booking.
6. I like the whole Rough Cuts thing. It helps set TNA apart from WWE and humanize their workers. It’s just that, outside Kim and Love, I haven’t cared about the subjects in any of them. I mean, I at least pretend to interest in Matt Morgan because Glazer’ so in to him, but even he didn’t care about the ones about Morgan. Creed continues this trend. But hey, AJ and the Red Rooster put him over; he totally deserves this push he’s getting!
7. I like Davari’s switching between Farsi and English in promos. It’s like Firefly! His promo work is gold, even if this character is totally retarded with extra retard sauce on the side. Match between he and Creed was okay, even if the finish is one of those things that shows how much they let pretty crucial details slide.
And don’t get me started on the fighting ref crap. Unless Sewell is going to be a worker now. Even then, it really neutered Davari, and he’s gonna have to do something really nasty to not look like a total pussy. Really, I just feel bad for Davari in that he started his career trying to make Muhammad Hassan look good and, bar a run with Kurt Angle, it’s only got worse from there.
8. I will take the Beautiful People segment as an excuse to tell you all how much delicious schadenfreud I get from Monty Sopp being reduced to being the Rico to the Beautiful People’s Chuck and Billy. It’s just hilarious. Anyway, next week, a beauty pageant!
9. Beer Money Inc. are happy over video game royalties. I hope that a lot of people pre-ordered the thing like I did for their sake, then.
The match between my boys and the SuperDorks was just a backdrop for Homicide returning looking like Nick Fury and Christy Hemme seducing and then betraying Curry Man in one of those “2 weeks of angle advancement in 10 minute” things. Not that anyone cares about Rock, Rave, Hemme, or the SuperDorks at all, beyond me, and I only care about half of them anyway. Hemme wrestling at the PPV is going to lead to her becoming a superheroine named Firecrotch, I’m calling it now.
10. I like what they’re doing with Abyss, character wise. Of course, I liked the ideas in the storyline with he, Sting, and Mitchell. The execution was just awful. But I am enjoying his attempt to leave behind the old Abyss, and his role as TNA’s answer to the Bixby/Ferrigno Hulk in general. Glazer’s boy Morgan saved him from a Team 3D beatdown after Johnny Devine filled his one and only role in TNA these days by bumping for 3D. We’ll see if the forthcoming match will be okay. Morgan’s the weak (or at least) unproven link there, brawling wise.
11. ODB had the runs! Geez, it’s bad enough TNA’s morphed in to a mutant fourth brand of WWE with a bunch of old ROH guys peppered around the place; do we really need the literal crap comedy? The match between ODB and Cheerleader Saeed was nothing special; I dunno if it’s the gimmick or what, but I have yet to see why indie nerds call her the best in the world, and it would be nice to. I have no idea why ODB was so adamant on taking off the burka, much less why seeing Melissa would mean anything, since she’s had all of one appearance on Impact.
12. Roxxi and Kong chairfighting amused me. Always enjoy that spot. I guess we’re getting a tag match between Team Butch and Kong/Saeed at some point, maybe the PPV. Fine with me.
13. AJ vs. Christian was a very good free TV match, playing off of their history. It was up to what you’d expect from them. Ending sucked, but it’s got to be part of the angle, and you had to expect Christian would get a title shot in his own time.
14. Sting was surprised that people didn’t accept his heel turn last week. I guess he barely remembers WCW in 1999 too. On that note, Joe was getting a lot of audible heel heat when he made his appearance.
15. This bit perfectly encapsulates TNA’s one step forward, two steps back booking; Joe drops Sting’s bat because he doesn’t need it, but pulls out his WAND OF DOOM or whatever it is instead. Then Nash distracts him and he gets Scorpion Death Dropped. Way to make the champ look strong, guys! I mean, I can buy AJ being dumb and gullible and still cheer for him, but all of the crap they’ve pulled on Joe has really killed what was a great character.
16. I love that Sting and Nash are rolling their eyes at Double J’s music. He’ll be there next week, so set your DVRs! Look, I have no problem with Jarrett being a face here, but he’s going way too far to make this angle more about him than the young guys, and about him vs. Sting specifically. So, I guess I do have a problem with it after all. As long as we get Joe vs. Sting without any B.S. at some point, I’ll get over it. So, you know, the odds aren’t looking great on that.
