So, lots of questions: will any of the Championship Scrambles actually work? Any title changes? Can Shawn fight through his injury? Just how hot is Maryse (and how many ways am I going to spell her name)? How happy am I that Penn State, the Eagles, and my fantasy team all won this weekend?
BTW: I don’t do star ratings. But, I will give my overall impression of each match in 10 words or less after the main write-ups.
First video recap of the night goes to the Jericho/HBK feud. My God, but these two are awesome.
First match: ECW Championship Scramble: Matt Hardy vs. The Miz vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Finlay vs. Mark Henry
Just to review: 20 minute time limit. Two wrestlers start. Every 5 minutes, another wrestler comes out. (Yes, that means the last wrestler is only in the ring for 5 minutes. Gee, I wonder who that’ll be in this match.) Get a pin, on anyone, and you’re the Champ. When the 20 minutes is up, whoever got the last pinfall is champ. Got it? Yeah, me neither. A “random drawing” brings out Hardy and The Miz. A little mat based action to start, Hardy getting a headlock, and a shoulderblock for 1. Another headlock, another 1 count. Miz with a hiptoss for 1, and then his own headlock. Hardy fights out, doesn’t get the Bulldog, Miz misses a kick in the corner, Hardy slams Miz’s head into the mat. Modified powerbomb out of the corner for our first 2 count. Hardy with a clothesline for another 2. Miz catches Hardy with a slingshot on the second rope, and does that “step on his back, go over the top rope, snap the neck over the rope on the second rope on the way down” move. Looks pretty cool, actually. A 2 count. Hardy gets a sunset flip for 2. Miz with the punches and kicks. Miz climbs, Hardy catches him halfway up, tries for a crucifix powerbomb, but Miz fights out and nails the Reality Check. However, Hardy rolls out of the ring. Miz rolls him into the center for a 2 count. And we get the countdown: Chavo’s next. The Miz charges, Chavo pulls down the top rope, Miz falls to the floor. Chavo climbs up top – Frog Splash! 1-2-3! Wow – didn’t expect that. Miz crawls back in – Chavo meets him with a European uppercut and Irish whip into the corner. Miz back with punches and a clothesline in the corner for 2. Miz off the ropes, Chavo catches him with a rolling Ryder kick that knocks Miz to the floor. Chavo follows with a pescado. Hardy’s up – elbow to Miz, rolls Chavo in, elbowdrop for 2. Chavo with the punches, catches Miz on climbing the turnbuckle. Hardy chases, Chavo elbows him off, and Miz throws Chavo off. Miz up top, and gets a cross-body splash on BOTH men. Covers Hardy for 2. Hardy back, clotheslines-a-go-go, big back body drop on Chavo. Combo bulldog and clothesline from Hardy. Side Effect on Chavo – 1-2-3! Matt Hardy is your current ECW Champion. Hardy with a rear elbow on Miz, tosses Chavo to the floor, and works a chinlock on Miz. Miz elbows out, and the countdown starts again. And… Mark Henry is out? Well.. okay. The other three form a temporary alliance, and they all start wailing on Henry. He shoves all three of them out of the corner, and takes each one down in turn with a clothesline. Bodyslam on Chavo, gorilla press on Hardy, and just plain ole runs over Miz. World’s Strongest Slam on Chavo – 1-2-3. World’s Strongest Slam on Miz. Hardy gets a bit of success, tries for a Side Effect, Henry shoves his way out, Hardy kicks him in the face. Hardy tries for a springboard something – but Henry smacks him to the floor halfway through. Miz tries, but takes a nasty-looking face drop (he may have injuried his knee). Chavo comes flying in, and gets caught in a bear hug (and screams like he was hit by a car). Meanwhile, Hardy climbs, but Henry catches him in another bear hug. Hardy tries the headbutts, Henry drives him to the corner and goes back to the bear hug. Coundown for the last time – Finlay runs down, Hornswaggle dives under the ring, Finlay lays in the shots to Henry and gets a quick DDT for 2. Another DDT, another 2. Henry back with… another bear hug. Hornswaggle distracts Henry, Finlay takes advantage with a shelaigh shot to the head of Henry. That’s not enough to take Henry down, though – so Finlay and Hardy toss Henry to the floor. Finaly with a Celtic Cross on Hardy, 1-2-3. Miz is up top, nails a Missile dropkick on Finlay. Hardy with a Side Effect on Miz, 1-2-3. (3:09 left). Henry climbs back up, and Hardy calls him into the ring. They face off – and Chavo hits a frog splash on Miz! 1-2-broken up by Hardy, who gets a boot to the face from Henry in thanks. Henry with the World’s Strongest Splash on Miz, who is busted open hard-way somewhere near his eye. 1-2-broken up by Hardy. WS Slam on Chavo, Hardy breaks it up again. Another WS Slam on Finlay, Miz rolls up Hardy for 2 – stopped by a (careful) kick to the face from Henry. Chavo off top, caught by Henry, WS Slam, 2 count. Finaly with a roll-up on Hardy for 2. Tries for a Celtic Cross – stopped by a boot from Henry. Splash by Henry on Miz, broken up by Hardy. Finlay covers Miz, then Chavo – both stopped by Hardy. Henry covers Finlay – Hardy breaks. (30 seconds left.) Hardy tosses Miz to the floor. Chavo goes after Hardy – also tossed. Finlay charges – slams Hardy to the mat, covers – stopped by Chavo. There’s a huge scrum in the corner – counting down 5 seconds…. the ref can’t even start a count. Time’s up! New champ!
Winner: Matt Hardy
Overall: Total chaos, but in the best way possible.
Hardy is ecstatic (congrats, Matt), Henry is pissed, the rest look somewhat exhausted. Backstage, Jeff congratulates his brother. We see HHH and CM Punk in a split-screen, both looking contemplative.
Second Match: World Tag Team Championship: Cryme Tyme vs. Ted Dibiase and Cody Rhodes Rhodes has a new pair of tights that say “Prince of Pro Wrestling”. Thanks, Cody – this whole thing isn’t homoerotic enough – now you’re asking thousands and thousands of men to look at your ass. Rhodes and JTG start. Rhodes with a bit of heel cowardice, until JTG catches him with a shot to the face. Dropkick by JTG, another dropkick given to Dibiase. Shad comes in and clothesline both men to the floor, JTG follows up with a plancha. JTG rolls Rhodes in for a 2 count. Rhodes pulls JTG into the second turnbuckle, and tags in Dibiase. JTG with a hiptoss, shoulder into the corner, and Shad tosses JTG into a splash on Dibiase. Shad with a 2 count. Dibiase gets a jawbreaker and a elbow in the corner. Powerslam from Shad, elbowdrop for 2. Dibiase back with a kick off the ropes, tags in Rhodes. JTG tags in behind Rhodes’ back, Shad slingshots him in for a shoulderblock. JTG charges Dibiase and sends him to the floor. 2 count. Rhodes begs off, then slaps JTG in the face. They chase outside – JTG avoids the sneak attack clothesline from Dibiase – but doesn’t avoid the one from Rhodes. Back in, 2 count. Rhodes goes to work on JTG’s left arm. Dibiase tags in and does the same. Rhodes back in quickly, continues the abuse. 2 count from Rhodes. JTG back with a punch and an elbow, but Rhodes takes him down with a russian legsweep. Dibiase in, dropkick for 2. JTG fights out and nails a side suplex. Dibiase makes the tag to Rhodes, who stops the hot tag by knocking Shad to the floor. They double-team JTG, Rhodes covers for 2. They stomp JTG down a bit, then Rhodes goes back to the left arm. JTG tries to fight out again, flips out of a rear suplex, but takes a side kick to the gut. Rhodes climbs, goes for a moonsault, but JTG rolls out of the way. And Rhodes sells it like he’s just been electrocuted. This time, JTG finally makes the hot tag, and Shad is a house o’ fire. Clotheslines for Dibiase, atomic drop, clothesline in the corner. Snake eyes, and “BRRTTT!!” running forearm for 2 – broken up by Rhodes. JTG knocks Rhodes out of the ring with a flying forearm. Shad gets a big back bodydrop on Dibiase, but Rhodes pops up with a kick and DDT. Dibiase covers – Shad makes the ropes. Rhodes tags in – met with a huge clothesline. Shad picks Rhodes up in a fireman’s carry, JTG tags and climbs the ropes. Dibiase pulls Rhodes down and shoves Shad – JTG leaps Shad and rolls up Rhodes in a school-boy. Dibiase reverses it – 1-2-3.
Winners: Ted Dibiase and Cody Rhodes
Overall: slow in the middle, but they all looked good.
Afterwards, Dibiase and Rhodes try some smacktalk – and get smacked for it. And then… uhh, “someone” runs in. He kinda looks like the white trash cousin of Umaga. White Trash Umaga beats down both members of Cryme Tyme and send them to the floor.
Backstage, HBK is getting his left arm taped up. The trainer lefts Shawn know that he could tear the tendon “right off the bone” if he goes through with this match.
Third Match: Unsanctioned: Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels Wow, I really thought this would be the last match of the night. HBK hesitates on the ramp for a moment, then charges straight at Jericho. Jericho is in his usual tights, Shawn is in street clothes. And yes, there’s a ref. Lots of punching to start, mostly from HBK. HBK pulls off his cowboy boot, and nails Jericho right over the eye with it. Jericho up, another boot shot. And one more sends Jericho to the floor. HBK follows, and they both go over the railing. I don’t see a blade job on Jericho yet, but he is bleeding from the nose. Back to ringside, HBK with a monkeyflip on Jericho into the ringpost. HBK grabs a chair, but misses – Jericho sends him into the announce table. DDT by Jericho on the (padded) floor. Jericho pulls out a table. The legs break – so he just throws it at HBk. Another table, set up a bit more carefully in front of the announce tables. Jericho lifts him up for a powerbomb, HBK punches out, but Jericho sends him face first into the apron. Jericho rolls HBK in, and follows with the chair. Chair to the ribs, and the back. Back suplex, and another chair , propped up in the corner. Jericho beats him down in the corner, and then laughs it up. Jericho with an irish whip, reversed by HBK, Jericho goes shoulder-first into the ringpost. Jericho fights back, and tries to suplex HBK out of the ring into the table – HBK fights out, Jericho fights back. Jericho gets HBK up for the vertical suplex – but HBK manages to save himself by grabbing the ropes. HBK clotheslines Jericho back into the ring. Flying jalapeno, kip up – and then he just starts strangling Jericho with both hands. HBK up top – flying elbow. Tunes up the band, goes for the super- no. “I’m not finished with you.” Elbows to the head, and then a crossface (??). Jericho up – and pulls HBK headfirst into the chair. Actually – eyefirst. Oops. Jericho immediately goes to work on the eye. Still no blood. Jericho just lining up him now – punch after punch on the eye. Jericho gets cocky though, and slaps him across the face – that brings a series of punches from HBK. Jericho tries to whip him back into the chair, HBK rolls through, and hits a Thesz press. Clothesline from HBK, piledriver attempt – reversed to the Walls of Jericho. HBK crawls.. and makes the ropes. And, thankfully, Jericho reminds the ref and all of us that he doesn’t have to break the hold – unsanctioned, remember? Jericho finally pulls HBK back into the ring – but HBK now has a fire extinguisher he picked up from ringside – and which he proceeds to shoot Jericho straight in the face with.HBK with a shot to the head with the extinguisher. Both men outside the ring – HBK tosses Jericho into the barrier a couple times. Vertical suplex on the ramp. Lance Cade runs out, but is immediately put down with a series of punches. Cade back up, goes after the injured arm, and hits a MONSTROUS lariat. They wrap HBK’s injured arm around the ringpost, and Cade hits a running knee on it. Back in the ring, Cade ties him up, and Jericho slaps him a few times. They double-team the arm some more. Chair shot to the arm, and Jericho laughs at the crowd. Another chair shot. They set up to Pillmanize the arm. HBK kicks Cade a couple of times, and shoves him into the rope – which crotches Jericho on the top turnbuckle. Cade runs in – Sweet Chin Music! Chair shot to Jericho – who then goes through the table at ringside. One-armed chairshots on the ringfloor. HBK clears off the Raw announce table – and puts Cade on top of it. He rolls into the ring, climbs up top – then rolls out, kicks Jericho, and puts him on the table too. Back in, back up – elbowdrop through the table! HBK gets a bit emotional – then drags Jericho back into the ring… and pulls off his belt. Whipping across the back – which opens up a couple of welts. Ow. Just – ow. A whip straight across the face. The facial expressions on Shawn are weird here – he’s not angry, he almost looks… confused. Shawn wraps the belt around his fist, ties up Jericho arms, whispers something in his ear – and just starts wailing on Jericho’s head, who is now totally helpless. Jericho is out cold – Shawn mounts him and repeatedly punches him in the face. The ref stops the match – the crowd loudly boos but that doesn’t stop Shawn, until the ref physically pulls him off Jericho. “It’s not enough” – back to punching. The ref pulls him off again – so, the ref eats the Sweet Chin Music (which the crowd loves). More refs in – the crowd boos. “HBK” chant. Shawn drops to his knees – and finally seems to snap out of it.
Winner: Shawn Michaels I think.
Overall: No blood? Still – wow.
Backstage with Dibiase, Rhodes and… oh, his name is Manu. He’s Afa’s son. Okay, then. Randy Orton shows up too. And he reams them out for just barely winning.
Fourth Match: WWE Championship Scramble: Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. The Brian Kendrick vs. MVP vs. HHH We start with Hardy and Benjamin. Benjamin with an immediate rollup for 1; Hardy returns the favor. Shelton with a shoulderblock for 2. Rollup by Hardy for 2. Hardy with a sunset flip out of the corner for 2. They spend a bit of time on the mat. Shelton misses the dragon leg whip, but nails a powerbomb into the corner. Snap suplex by Benjamin for 2. Benjamin goes to work on Hardy’s neck. Hardy with a crossbody for 2. Hardy with a slam and a legdrop for 2. Countdown starts: The Brian Kendrick comes out, slowly. Benjamin tries to pull a german suplex on Hardy to the floor – Hardy grabs the ropes, Kendrick comes flying in, Hardy ducks, and Kendrick drops Benjamin to the floor. Kendrick pulls Hardy in, kick to the head, 2 count. Flying forearm from Kendrick for 2. Stomping, and a kick to the back – another 2. Charge to the corner misses, and Hardy nails a reverse powerbomb – 1-2-…3? Wow – that was QUICK. Hardy kicks Kendrick to the floor, Benjamin attacks from behind, Hardy comes back with a forearm and snap suplex for 2. Benjamin slugs him down for 2. Whisper in the Wind countered with Paydirt – Benjamin is slow to cover, 1-2-broken up by Kendrick, who throws Benjamin to the floor. Kendrick hits The Kendrick – 1-2-3! “Brian Kendrick is the current WWE champion!” Betcha never thought you’d hear JR say that, eh? Kendrick, of course, showboats. The countdown starts: it’s MVP. Kendrick charges, MVP ducks, punches, face-first slam. Hardy back in, kick to the floor by MVP. Kendrick charges and gets back bodydropped to the floor (painfully). MVP hits a double-thrust and a facebreaker on Benjamin. Benjamin thrown chest-first into the corner, and a clubbing forearm to the back of the head from MVP. MVP sets up for the Drive-By – but gets nailed by a leg lariat from Kendrick. Hardy runs in and takes Kendrick down with a running forearm – then mocks his showboating. Low dropkick on Benjamin, 2 count broken up by Kendrick. Kendrick tosses Hardy, and kicks down Benjamin. Kendrick charges – Benjamin with a Samoan Drop. Kendrick catches MVP with a high cross-body, and a kick to the head of MVP. Benjamin back with a huge clothesline. Benjamin lifts Kendrick up for a powerbomb – Kendrick punches, and counters with a rana. Kendrick with another leg lariat on MVP. Countdown starts – question: can HHH make an entrance in less than 5 minutes on a PPV that features a Motorhead song? Well, yes – if he just heads straight for the ring. HHH clothelines Benjamin out of the ring, then takes down Kendrick. Facebuster to MVP. Kendrick charges, HHH ducks, Kendrick takes out MVP. HHH with the spinebuster on Kendrick. MVP charges and is tossed to the floor. Kick-wham-Pedigree – HHH is our current champ, to no one’s surprise. Benjamin attacks from behind, and they roll to the floor. Benjamin sends HHH into the steps (3:30 left). Hardy and MVP in the ring – Hardy hits the Twist of Fate! 1-2-3! (2:53 left) Hardy counters The Kendrick, into a front slam. Hardy climbs – HHH knocks him off the top. Another Pedigree on Kendrick – another 3 count. Swanton from Hardy on Kendrick – 1-2-3! HHH is stunned. HHH goes for a Pedigree on Hardy – Hardy backdrops him to the floor, and follows with a plancha! (1:15 left) MVP sets Kendrick up in the corner – Kendrick knocks him down. Benjamin LEAPS – straight the top turnbuckle. MVP grabs Benjamin from below – Benjamin hits the SUPERPLEX on Kendrick, while MVP nails a powerbomb on Benjamin. Very nicely planned spot. Hardy back in – Whisper in the Wind on MVP! Swanton on Benjamin! HHH back in – Pedigree on MVP! He covers – 4 seconds left – 1-2 (Hardy covers Benjamin) 3! Time’s up!
Winner: HHH
Overall: Excellently timed, and great suspense.
Afterwards, HHH and Hardy shake hands. Awwwww.
Backstage, Todd Grisham with Shawn Michaels. This is the first PPV in three months where Shawn hasn’t spent the night in a hospital. So, he’ll get to see his wife tonight, and his kids tomorrow. Is he content? Yes. Closure? No. He’d like to do that to Chris Jericho every night for the rest of his life. “Chris Jericho? The worst… is definitely… yet to come.”
Backstage with CM Punk. Randy Orton shows up, and calls him “an absolute fluke”. CM Punk calls him “bitter”, and notices that Randy isn’t wearing his brace – but Orton insists he’s still injured. Then, the rest of the new Horsemen (Rhodes, Dibiase, Manu) attack Punk from behind. Kofi Kingston tries to sav,e, but gets beatdown. Punk tries to get up, but gets a running kick to the head from Orton.
Fifth Match: Divas Championship: Maryse vs. Michelle McCool Some actual mat wrestling, and Maryse gets the first cover, for 2. McCool sweeps the leg and gets 1. McCool with a Russian leg sweep for 2. McCool gets out of an arm bar by doing a backflip off the second turnbuckle. Down to the floor – Maryse kicks the knee, and sends McCool over the barrier, much to the delight of a few male fans in the front row. Maryse poses – and gets kicked in the face. McCool hits (kinda) a clotheslines off the barrier. Back in the ring, a couple of forearms from McCool, and Maryse chops the leg. Maryse goes to work on the leg (!!). McCool rolls out of a toehold, and goes to work on Maryse’s left knee, including a nice-looking rolling heel hook. McCool with a roundhouse kick to the head for 2. McCool wins a slugfest (kinda), and they blow a sunset flip spot, and then a front slam. McCool with a boot off the ropes. Sit-out front slam from McCool, and that’s all she wrote.
Winner: Michelle McCool
Overall: Better than expected, but should have been 3 minutes shorter.
Mike Adamle comes out, and announces that “it apppears that CM Punk might not be able to compete”. If he can’t, Adamle will find “a suitable replacement”.
The Big Show comes out, smiling widely. “Hi!!” TBS suggests himself as a suitable replacement. He then tells the crowd to “Smackdown your vote now!” (Uhhh – okay.) The crowd appears to be in favor of TBS being entered into the scramble – and he thanks them. Vicki Guerror comes out, with her usual “I just ate an entire lemon” look on her face. She screams at TBS a bit, reminds him that she threatened to suspend him, and calls him “a big, dumb giant”. She tells him to go home… and then the lights dim. We hear chanting. And the fog and blue lights show up on the stage. TBS is howling with laughter. Hey – it’s the Druids! They walk a coffin down to ringside. Vicki is really NOT acting as scared as she should, and TBS is laughing… just a bit too much. And the Undertaker appears… on the big screen. UT asks Vicki if she’ll voluntarily get into the coffin, or if UT needs to come down there and do it himself. She hesitates… and UT’s theme kicks in. Yup – here’s the dead man himself. TBS holds her in place, UT grabs her by the throat… and then Big Show knock UT down with a right hand. Yup – there’s the swerve. Total beatdown from Big Show – knocks UT out of the ring with a headbutt. UT finally fights back – but gets driven into the ringpost. Snakes eyes from TBS onto the coffin. The slow, methodical beatdown continues… forEVER. TBS finally holds UT up – so Vicki can slap him, and then spit in his face.
Backstage, William Regal makes his case to be the replacement. Adamle says “there’s still a good chance Punk can compete tonight”.
Sixth Match: World Championship Scramble: Batista vs. JBL vs. Kane vs. Rey Mysterio vs. ? Batista and JBL start off. Batista dominates to start. Clothesline for 1. JBL back with a sleeper, Batista out with a kneebreaker, followed up by a chopblock. Batista gets the figure four in the middle of the ring (“WOO!”). JBL fights to the ropes. They slut it out, until JBL throws Batista to the floor. Batista takes a headshot to the ringpost. JBL thrown into the steps. Countdown starts: it’s Kane. Batista with a clothesline out of the corner, Kane hits a big boot off the ropes. Batista with a seated dropkick for 2. Kane with the blind charge, meets an elbow. Kane gets a side slam off the ropes. Kane climbs up top – misses the clothesline, but hits a shot to the throat on Batista. Kane goes for the chokeslam – Batista elbows out. Kick, set up for the Batista Bomb – kick to the face from JBL. Batista kicked to the floor by Kane, JBL misses for the Clothesline from Hell, but Kane hits the Chokeslam. 1-2-3 – new champion, Kane. Countdown – yup, it’s Rey – wearing a mohawk? Interesting. Rey off the ropes – two dropkicks to the knees, roundhouse to the head, 2 count. Kicks to the knee, and a springboard dropkick knocks Kane to the floor. JBL clubs Rey from behind, but Rey gets off a hurricanrana. Back suplex by JBL countered to a bulldog by Rey. Kane climbs up on the apron, Rey meets him with another dropkick to the knee. 619 misses, Kane’s lariat doesn’t. Kane works over Rey in the corner, until Batista takes him down with some clubbing forearms and a side suplex. Running kick to the head on JBL. Rey climbs to the top, then onto Batista’s shoulders, and hits a splash on Kane. Batista covers – only 2. They set it up again – but Rey drops, spins around, and rolls up Batista for 2! Batista: “WHAT?!” Rey starts to argue – JBL breaks it up by punching both of them. Fadeaway slam on Rey – onto Batista. Cover on Batista for 2. JBL with a boot and elbowdrop on Kane. Cover on Mysterio – only 2. The countdown starts: who is it? BOOM – “Break the walls!” It’s… Jericho??!? He… literally… stumbles down to the ring, wincing and holding his arms over his chest. JBL goes for another cover on Rey – just 2. Batista throws Kane into the ringpost, Rey tries for the 619 on JBL, but Batista catches Rey with a spear. Jericho finally rolls in the ring – and eats another spear from Batista. Batista with a bodyslam on Kane, and a spear on JBL for 2. Rey kicks at Batista knee, Batista sends Rey off the ropes – 619 on Kane. Big boot from Batista on Kane, 2 count broken up by Batista. (3:20 left) Batista tries a powerbom on Rey, Rey slides out and hits the 619 on JBL. Rey tries for a springboard– smashed to the floor by Batista. JBL goes from Clothesline from Hell – Batista ducks, Kane does not. (2:10 left) Spinebuster from Batista. Kane works Batista over in the corner, bodyslam. Kane climbs the ropes – nails the flying clothesline. 1-2-no! (1:10 left) Kane motions for the chokeslam – spear by Batista! Spinebuster! 1-2-3! (0:25 left) Batista is the only man standing in the ring – Rey tries a springboard rana, but Batista catches hiim in a powerbomb. Jericho slides in the ring – covers Kane! 1-2-3! Batista hasn’t even noticed (0:08 left). Batista turns around, realizes what just happened – 3 seconds left… time’s up!
Winner: Chris Jericho
Overall: Well, nobody saw THAT one coming.
Weird show, but this PPV has now created at least 3 brand new storylines: Jericho new champ (with Batista and HBK after him), CM Punk vs. Orton and his new horsemen, and TBS vs. UT.
