The SmarK 24/7 Rant for World Championship Wrestling – June 21 1986
– Yeah, I’ve kinda been slacking off with these lately. Such is life. This is a very abbreviated version of the show this week, clocking in at 40 minutes, so I also watched some classic Flair promos currently airing on 24/7 and added those to the end.
– Your hosts are Tony & David.
– And we starts with the Russians, as the best of seven series for the US title has been set for the Great American Bash tour (which was quite the clever gimmick for getting people to follow the tour) and Ivan is pretty pissed about getting hit in the head with the title belt.
– The Rock N Roll Express v. Mike Simiani & some guy who gets pinned before I can even note his name.
– And now, for the first time ever, a Four Horsemen group interview, as Ole debuts the “Damn I Am Good” shirt and it’s like they’re just dropped out of a mold formed whole as a group. Flair cracks himself up by calling the Road Warriors “Animal and Big Bird” and then slapping the table because it was such a bon mot. Flair just rules it here, and all that’s lacking is the four fingers. So the beginning is June of 86, and by November they were already trying to kick Ole out in favor of Lex Luger. That’s actually a shorter “glory period” than I would have guessed.
– Meanwhile, Dusty cuts a promo that’s pretty incoherent, even by his standards. The idea seems to be that he has a problem with Ole Anderson.
– Jimmy Valiant & Manny Fernandez v. Clement Fields & Tony Myers. That’s a pretty awful jobber name. The faces are throwing elbows and Manny finishes whoever the black guy is with the flying burrito at 0:30.
– Jim Cornette joins us with footage from the past week, as he attempts to wrestle a Mulkey and Baby Doll comes into the ring instead, drawing the ire of Bubba Rogers. Dusty Rhodes makes the save and smashes a balsa wood chair on his head…and Bubba just shrugs it off and takes his tie off, because he means business. Luckily, Magnum TA has a shovel and he’s not afraid to run in with it and chase the heels off. A shovel? Anyway, that one angle completely made Bubba into the biggest badass in wrestling in one shot, and Dusty spent the next 20 years trying to duplicate it, most notably with Meng. Cornette then gets another one so funny that Tony nearly loses it on camera again, as he notes that Baby Doll got attacked by a guy one day, and when she yelled “rape!” the guy yelled “Nooo!” How can anyone keep a straight face around that guy? Which leads us to…
– The Midnight Express v. Sam Houston & Rocky Kernodle. Oh, the A-list jobbers this week. Big brawl to start and Rocky dumps Bobby and overpowers Dennis, but a cheapshot turns the tide and Bobby pins him with an elbow off the top at 0:32. I like the pace this week, I have to say.
– Magnum and Baby Doll are OUTRAGED (although Magnum moreso) about Bob Geigel’s insane decision to strip him of the US title.
– Magnum TA v. Paul Garner. Yeah, like this goes long this week. Bing bang boom.
– Next up, Wahoo McDaniel is STILL feuding with Jimmy Garvin, this time in strap matches. He’s not gonna lie — he’s got the advantage. Well that’s refreshing to hear.
– Ron Garvin v. Vern Deaton. David doesn’t like Deaton’s chances here. Another 30 second special, with a funny spot as Deaton puts his head down and Garvin stops running, and Deaton gets his look on his face like the Coyote standing in the air after the road ends, at which point Garvin KO’s him.
– More from the champ, as he’s facing 14 guys and it’s gonna take a great man and a great athlete to beat him for it. In hindsight, the title change should have been obvious.
– The Andersons v. The Mulkeys. Another historic clash! Ole pounds on Bill and chokes away on the ropes, and Arn comes in to pound away with elbows. Hammerlock slam and he goes to the standing armbar, but Bill makes the ropes. Back to Ole, and he brings Randy in and stomps the crap out of him in the corner, before Arn hits the spinebuster and Ole comes off the top with the knee to the shoulder. Armbar finishes at 2:18, a veritable Iron Man match for this show.
– Jimmy Garvin and Steve Regal are reunited long after anyone cares about their former AWA tag title reign, and frankly I’m shocked that the Road Warriors weren’t immediately booked to get that win back.
– Next up, the Paul Jones army, here to bore us.
– Ric Flair v. Tony Zane. Before he can start, generic overdubbed rock interrupts, and Road Warrior Big Bird heads in and beats the holy hell out of Flair to set up their Bash matches. Sadly, he falls victim to the official HORSEMEN BEATDOWN and JJ uses the SHOE OF DEATH for the first time. Tully and Ole give Animal a spike piledriver on the floor and Flair slaps Hawk around as they leave the Warriors laying. Oh man, that never happens. David even says as much. They must want to push these Horsemen guys.
– Hawk cuts a pissed off promo and we’re done.
For a bonus, since it’s Ric Flair month on 24/7, here’s a collection of his promos that are being offered…
– From Jan 3 1987: Flair cuts a manic promo, leading through Starrcade and into Barry Windham (he demonstrates chopping the tall Windham down to size by laying on the ground, forcing Tony to bring the microphone down there) and then notes that he never wore a pair of cowboy boots or blue jeans, but whenever he’s in Texas they all say “Now there goes a natural born cowboy”. Must have been the good coke that week.
– From Jan 31 2000: Nitro during the REALLY bad period. Usual late era crazed Flair promo with Mean By God Whoo Gene and the subject eventually drifts to his taking over the idiotic Commissioner figurehead position before he decides to run the ropes and drop an elbow on the perfectly innocent mat. So Terry Funk answers Flair’s challenge and references Mick Foley’s book, then notes that he’d beat on David Flair to teach him some respect. This segment just went ON and ON. No wonder Nitro was brutal to watch at that point.
– From April 6 1985: Flair and a bevy of babes.
– From May 19 1997: Nitro again, as Flair cuts his victory promo after Slamboree, but Syxx interrupts. A brawl follows and Syxx runs away.
– From June 22 1985: Back to classic Flair, as he runs down the list of contenders and tells us why he’s better than all of them.
– From July 18 1993: Jesse Ventura interviews Flair after winning the NWA World title from Barry Windham.
– From September 19 1992: Flair and Mr. Perfect show off his newly won WWF World title and gets in the “kiss stealing…” catchphrase. Apparently Ultimate Warrior is the #1 contender, which is truly a storyline destined to go nowhere.
– From September 1981: Flair, still on his first reign, cuts a promo directed at Jack Brisco in Florida. The slicked back hair look is bizarre on him. The promo itself is very proto-Flair, punctuated by “Whoos” but lacking in the over-the-top bravado he would later perfect.
– From November 5 1984: Over to Mid-Atlantic, and of course Flair is still going on about Dusty Rhodes. Dusty appears on a split screen, mocking the promo with pantomime and taking a wad of money out of his pocket when Flair starts on about how he’s a millionaire. Good stuff.
– From November 5 1988: Flair points out a group of well-dressed Horsemen fans in the front row and once again reaffirms that the Horsemen are the best thing going, like or don’t like it, etc.
Well you can’t go wrong with an hour of Flair promos.
