The NeelDown: WWE SmackDown 9/12/08

Reviews, Shows, TV Shows

– Welp, another missed Impact means me making it up to you again with something completely random that I normally never watch. Last week I got creative with OVW, this week you get SmackDown. I’m too lazy to link you to it right now, but it’s not hard to find. I wanted to thank everyone for the input on the OVW column and I will definitely start covering the show more, but won’t be able to on a consistent week-by-week basis, because, you know, I have stuff to do on Saturday afternoons. I even got some actualy e-mails which kind of seems like a lost concept anymore with the great comment ability installed on the site nowadays. Ah, I’m so loyal to my huge readership. I also commend you all to go read Lucard’s fantastic review of the new TNA video game. Alright, let’s do the show.

_____________

The NeelDown: SmackDown 9/12/08

– From Milwaukee, WI

– Your hosts are Jim Ross & Tazz

____________

– HHH kicks off the show and pleads for everyone to go out and buy the Unforgiven DVD in a way I’ve never seen them try to pimp anything before, enthralling the non-torrent/YouTube seeking fans in the audience to rush to Best Buy to experience Rey Mysterio’s mohawk and CM Punk getting Punk’d. Anyway, he was the only champ to go in to the show and leave with the belt, and he was able to do it with only one second remaining. Guess he’s forgetting about Michelle McCool and the very significant Diva’s Championship, that selfish Hunter. Cue out Jeff Hardy, and might I add isn’t that new t-shirt of his just atrocious? Jeff congratulates HHH on the win but of course hints at wanting a title shot. HHH respects him for giving it all his ect, anyway yeah it’s going to be a face-face main event at the next PPV. HHH turns the tide on the positive yet respectful ass kissing by saying he always give it his all but is always just a second too short. Jeff says maybe that’s it, or maybe he just didn’t have the group like DX, or a family (burn). That ends up sounding stupid though, because as Hunter points out, he had Matt who of course now is ECW champ. HHH then takes a jab at the post-tag team career drug test fiasco. But anyway, the bottom line is that HHH does respect him and he hopes he wins the title shot tonight, ect. Not a bad opening promo but Jeff looked and sounded even worse on the mic than usual, to the point of utter embarrassment.

– It’s kind of amazing how TMNT and Spider-Man still have current animated series going, as provided by the 4kids.tv commercial. Actually I guess it’s not really compared to the new movies still coming out but nothing beats the originals.

– Did you know that WWE is watched by more than 15 million people every week? Well, at least they’re not still trying to compare the dominance of RAW viewership over Monday Night Football … failing to leave out the “pre-season” part.

Maryse, Natalya & Victoria v. Michelle McCool, Brie Bella & Maria

Michelle shows off some acrobatics against Natalya to start and a sloppy chick kick gets two. Maria comes in and is wearing an interesting skull outfit. She tags out to Brie who comes in with a hip toss and monkey flip out of the corner, but Natalya catches her and flips her over. Maryse comes in and adds a backbreaker for two. JR notes that she is Patt Patterson’s favorite diva. Hot HLA action in the near future? Nah, they’re just both from Canada. And in other news they’re STILL warning people about the analog TV switch. Geez people, if you haven’t by now, gotta keep the Seinfeld reruns airing! Most of you know I’m serious too, as a huge fan. I guess that just shows how much I tune into the local stations when it’s not Survivor season. Victoria comes in and drags Brie back to the heel corner. She tries going under the ring for whatever reason. Victoria hauls her back in but Brie rolls her up for the pin. Man, and to think that Victoria and Maria actually used to be vital parts of RAW every week. (1/4*)

Winners: Michelle McCool, Brie Bella & Maria

– SmackDown rebound : R-Truth successfully defeats Bam Neely (no relation). K-Kwik now raps himself to the ring. Isn’t it kind of ironic that John Cena was doing the same thing on the same show only a mere five years or so?

R-Truth v. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo outwrestlers him to start as Bam continues to shake his head in disbelief from last week. R-Truth goes in control briefly until Chavo takes him down with a nice flipping kick and European uppercut for two. Truth catches him with a snap slam and actually gets a little bit of the crowd behind him, followed by a bicycle kick for two. Chavo ducks the axe kick and nails the rolling verticals but Truth attempts to counter the Frog Splash with a superplex. That forces Bam to get involved and draw the DQ, but SWERVE~! Bam turns on Chavo and Truth ends up getting the final blow on both of them. Fine until the stupid ending, but too short to make anything of. (3/4*)

Winner: R-Truth (DQ)

– Backstage HHH interrupts Benjamin’s flirt and wonders why he even has to compete in the fatal fourway match.

Festus v. Kenny Dykstra

Jesse and Festus come out in mover outfits. Dykstra comes out cocky on the mic and cheap shots him to start so Jesse rings the bell in revenge. Festus cleans house and they proceed to ductape Dykstra’s arms and legs, bubble wrap him then take him to the back. That’s pretty much it. (-/-)

Winner: No Contest

– Youz can l1ke watch da Kanye West attack f00tage on the neXt new TMZ episodee!!1!one

– Next is the Vickie Guerrero/Big Show/Underaker explanation segment. Vickie comes out to tell everyone that not only could Undertaker not take her soul, but not even her job, as she is still YOUR General Manager. She spits in the face of Undertakers who are not cool. Out comes Big Show who says that when Edge was destroyed at SummerSlam, her family was in need of help and he answered that request because Undertaker thinks he’s above everyone. He says this is a true “mutual power relationship”, one that won’t involve things like wedding rings. Vickie wants a Taker apology and Show will make sure he’s sorry. Went about as you’d expect it to.

Vladimer Kozlov v. Scotty Goldman & Funaki – Handicap

It feels pretty odd to actually have to type “Scotty Goldman”. Kozlov cleans house and stacks them up in the corner. Headbutts for Goldman and Funaki tries coming off the top but Kozlov catches him with a shove for the pin. Afterward Kozlov says he wants more competition. Best of luck. (-/-)

Winner: Vladimer Kozlov

– In the back, HHH rudely interrupts Ezekial Jackson’s reading of the current WWE magazine. THE Brian Kendrick reminds Hunter how he is the longest reigning champion in scramble match history. HHH says of all the losers that night, he was by far the biggest.

Zack Ryder & Curt Hawkins v. The Brothers Colon

I thought had Carlito had new dreadlocks or something, but I still see the afro. He’s also sporting black pants now. He starts with Ryder and gets a neckbreaker, then tags to Primo who springs in with a dropkick. Carlito comes back in and powerbombs Primo onto Ryder for two. Some distraction allows Ryder to get a leg lariat and tag out to Hawkins who locks in a rear choke. Ryder hairmares him and tags back in Hawkins as they continue to isolate Carlito in the heel corner, concluding with a neck vice applied. Ryder dodges a dropkick and gets two out of it, then back in comes Hawkins for some double teaming. Carlito fights out of a rear choke but gets clotheslined down and Hawkins comes in to do some more hairmaring. Missed blind charge sets up the hot tag to Primo who cleans house and gets a high crossbody on Hawkins but Ryder breaks the pin. Tag to Carlito and the Backstabber finishes Hawkins for the pin. Mostly boring tag forumla you’d expect with all the heel restholds and then the debuting brothers getting the hot win at the end to showcase some of Primo’s offense. ( * )

Winners: The Brothers Colon

– Backstage, HHH wonders why MPV is even in the fatal fourway. Well of course it’s because he’s the highest paid entertainer in SmackDown history.

MVP v. Shelton Benjamin v. THE Brian Kendrick v. Jeff Hardy – Number One Contendership for WWE Championship

Kendrick goes out to let the other three go at it to start and Jeff and Shelton exchange roll ups until MVP gets involved. Benjamin and MVP gang up on Hardy and get a double flapjack, but they don’t know which one should attempt the pin. MVP tries to out wrestle Benjamin as Kendrick sneaks in and tries to steal the pin on Hardy to no avail. MVP then jumps on Benjamin and gets a facebuster. Kendrick sneaks in again and tries the acid drop on Benjamin but MVP catches him to break it up. Benjamin gets the T-Bone suplex on Kendrick and he’s back to the floor again as Jeff nails the whisper in the wind on Benjamin for two. After main event commercials we see Jeff took a knee bump on the steps and MVP has Benjamin in a rear choke. Spin kick by Benjamin and Zeke provides distraction enough for Kendrick to come in and add a dropkick from behind. He follows with a charging low dropkick as Tazz comments him being a “strange cat”. Kendrick applies a camel clutch on Benjamin, meanwhile Zeke tosses Hardy into the barricade on the floor. You know why? ‘Cause THAT’S 100% ZEKE! Benjamin fights out of the camel clutch by ramming Kendrick back into the corner and following up with a modified electric chair for two, unfortunately the crowd is pretty dead though. MVP comes in to low dropkick Benjamin and it turns into a slugfest, won out by Benjamin but MVP gets a snap back drop for … a half. It’s stuff like this that always makes Shelton look bad. Hardy is alive all of a sudden and he re-enters the ring, but MVP tosses him. Bridged German by Benjamin gets two as Kendrick adds his own version of the concussion kick on Jeff on the floor. Kendrick comes in and tries to steal the pin again but MVP attacks. Benjamin tosses MVP and Hardy once again leaving him the only one in the ring. Benjamin suplexes MVP for two and tries a submission but Hardy is back in to tee off on everybody. Slingshot dropkick on Shelton in the corner gets two. MVP yanks Benjamin out to avoid the swanton attempt and MVP then holds Jeff in place for Kendrick, but Jeff ducks out of it and gets the whisper in the wind on MVP for two after Benjamin breaks it up. Benjamin hits something on MVP but Kendrick comes in again, dodges a corner charge and nails The Kendrick, but during the pin Hardy nails the swanton bomb on both of them and gets the pin on Kendrick. Really good stuff here from everyone involved and pretty much non-stop. (***1/4) Post-match Kozlov comes out and attacks Hardy as the crowd chants USA.

Winner: Jeff Hardy

End of show.