Welcome to another week of the best WWE Analysis anywhere. It’s Raw’s 800th Episode column, so there’s sure to be some big news coming out with a major return to Raw!
Quick News
Gregory Helms is set to return.
It’s about times. At the time of his injury Gregory was developing into one of the better WWE junior workers. It takes time for the ring rust after major surgery to wear off for most, but in time Helms should be back to his old self.
Kevin Nash decides to stick with TNA.
Honestly, his Diesel role could be played by any big man and while playing off his history with Michaels would be fun, Shawn can just turn another big man (Tomko?) into the new Diesel should storylines require it.
According to the Wrestling Observer, Steve Austin is set to return at Cyber Sunday
It would make a lot more sense for this to be at the My Network premier, but WWE seems to be pushing one major idea every PPV of late to get people to buy the B shows. Austin would be a good reason to bump the Cyber Sunday buyrate, so they might keep him appearing then.
More from the Observer:
WWE is serious about Killings (R-Truth) push.
His entrance is getting a lot of time. Hopefully he’s improved in ring otherwise this push will last until the agents and Vince get their first look at him in an extended match.
MVP is in the doghouse.
Why is it that when Triple H is on a show, the young guy who’s closest to main eventing is always in the dog house? It must be a coincidence.
Dykstra rubs people the wrong way.
Look, that’s all well and good, but this shouldn’t be about that. He’s twenty-one and has a lot of growing up to do. Who doesn’t at 21? Keep him in the mid-card and don’t humiliate him now so that he can build his talent and be a superstar when he matures. This is a business, not a high-school popularity contest.
In other news, JBL still isn’t Stan Hansen.
For more WWE News, including details on the Jeff Hardy situation, click WWE Weekly. For news updates as they happen through the week, check back with PulseWrestling.
Wrestling the Issue
In an unprecedented time for the WWE, smaller wrestlers are receiving pushes. Within the last year Chavo Guerrero, Matt Hardy, Rey Misterio, Shelton Benjamin, Evan Bourne and Brian Kendrick are getting pushes into the upper-midcard. Despite all of this, Paul London is still unable to receive anything approaching a push and is apparently on the chopping block.
Chavo was always going to be pushed, at least mildly. Chavo is a very good worker who has a family full of wrestlers and can be an important draw to the Latin American community. On the other hand, London might not be a member of a family, but he was trained by Shawn Michaels… and he’s fully bi-lingual. Chavo was rewarded with the ECW title. London is off television.
Matt Hardy has worked extremely hard to overcome several issues that WWE management didn’t like, notably his North Carolina attitude. He got a head start by being part of a very successful tag team and remains over to this day. London supposedly couldn’t talk, but he’s worked hard, taking acting lessons on his own, and was a member of a very popular and successful tag team. Matt Hardy is the current ECW Champion. Paul London isn’t even good enough to be on ECW.
Rey Misterio is a small, charismatic underdog who could move merchandise, notably his mask. His greatness at the underdog character allowed him to defy the odds, becoming one of the best draws of his generation and win the title at Wrestlemania. Paul London is, judging by his “Ricky Morton†style tag work and what he showed in ROH, an amazing underdog. He even had a mask for awhile while he was in his tag team. Why not let him wrestle with it as a great underdog on a different show than Rey? Rey is in a high profile Raw feud. London’s closest thing to a feud in a year was being crushed by Chris Jericho and Lance Cade.
Shelton Benjamin has always had all of the in-ring talent in the world. He still hasn’t been able to get a push because he has a supposedly bland character, despite how over he is and that he could easily be put with a mouthpiece. WWE recently realized his talent and now he’s U.S. Champion. London has as much, if not more, talent than Benjamin. Both have stolen numerous shows, but London takes acting classes to improve his character and is a hard worker backstage. Shelton is U.S. Champion and works with Triple H and Jeff Hardy. Paul London is off T.V. and works with… well… he doesn’t even really get to do house shows anymore.
Evan Bourne is one of the most exciting high-fliers to come around in ages. He’s gotten very over in a short time by utilizing numerous risky moves. Bourne now partners with Rey Misterio on Raw’s upper-card and is one of the biggest reasons to tune into ECW. London can’t get on one show, let alone two, despite the fact that he’s every bit the flier Bourne is. Actually, London got in trouble for doing the same high spots that Bourne is so praised and pushed for.
Brian Kendrick was London’s partner for the better part of two years. Everything that’s been said above about London could be said about Kendrick. To show how much times have changed, Kendrick is getting great reactions as a top heel on Smackdown, facing down Triple H and Jeff Hardy. Where exactly is Paul London again and where is even a fraction of his deserved push?
Paul London is, by all reports, a very nice, if strange guy. As a wrestler, he is top notch despite rarely, if ever, being allowed to show that in a WWE ring. He has been over in the past, such as the Hooliganz or his Kidman feud, and has sought to better himself in the ring and out, such as taking acting lessons. After all this the best he gets on T.V. is squashed and most weeks he isn’t on. The latest insult upon this injury is that he may be cut. This is an absolute shame and a waste. If he isn’t working out, that’s fine, but the man at least deserves a chance. Hopefully WWE realizes that before it’s too late. If not, the WWE’s loss is TNA and ROH’s gain.
The Smarkish Raw Ranty Short Review Thing for Raw 800
Chris Jericho’s promos are godly, so starting this big Raw with a quiet, intense promo by Jericho on top of a ladder. This draws out Randy Orton who takes credit for Jericho having the title, after all he did kick CM Punk in the head. Jericho would be happy to punch Orton in the mouth. He just blew Orton away on the mic. Orton got GM Mike Adamle to say that Orton can’t be hit or his assailant will be suspended. Jericho calmly walks away from Randy Orton while Orton raves at his back like a petulant child.
And here’s CM Punk looking pissed. He slaps Orton to a big pop. That draws out Mike Adamle who suspends Punk. Shane McMahon is out at that! He over-rules Punk’s suspension. Orton is mad at that, but from here on out he can’t be touched. Shane makes some matches and dances away.
Match 1: CM Punk vs. Cody Rhodes
Punk’s revenge on those who cost him the title begins. Punk controlled much of the early part of the match so Rhodes attacks the legs to weaken Punk’s kicks. Punk reverses that into an Ankle Lock. Rhodes escapes so Punk kicks the crap out of him and lands the Go to Sleep for three!
CM Punk defeats Cody Rhodes (Pin, Go to Sleep, **)
Dibiase and Manu attack Punk post-match. Kofi Kingston runs out to chase away the heels.
Shane McMahon compliments Adamle on doing well while learning on the job. Kane comes in to say “hello†and thank Adamle for giving Kane Evan Bourne. Rey Mysterio vs. Kane is at the PPV. Kane tells Shane to say hello to Linda, which Shane remembers as him tombstoning her then trying to electrocute his own testicles. Yeah continuity!
Beth Phoenix and Santino mock Kelly Kelly and are mad because she was laughing at it had to be at them because Batista is so corny. Batista and Kelly Kelly are pretty aligned. Beth says if Batista gets involved, her boyfriend will beat him up. Santino is duly terrified but his music hits and he runs away.
Honk-a-Meter time. 64 weeks for Honky to five for Santino. Deuce interrupts to challenge for the title.
Match 2: Intercontinental Title Match: Santino Marella © vs. Deuce
Deuce controls for a moment but is caught with a sunset flip and that’s all.
Santino defeats Deuce (Pin, Sunset Flip, Dud)
Whatever, Santino got to talk after it and it was funny.
Match 3: Kane vs. Evan Bourne
Bourne controls a lot early until Kane finally catches him and dismantles his back with numerous backbreakers. A chokeslam finishes.
Kane defeats Evan Bourne (Pin, Chokeslam, ** ½)
Kane tries to kill Bourne post match but Rey saves… poorly, getting beaten on himself and chokeslammed.
Noble is begging for another shot at Regal from Shane when Dolph Ziggler introduces himself. Randy Orton comes by and Shane tells him he’s getting off easy, so Orton suggests that the two most influential third generation stars shouldn’t be on each other’s bad sides. Shane lets Randy know he’s fourth generation as the segment ends.
Match 4: Beth Phoenix with Santino Marella vs. Kelly Kelly
Kelly show’s speed, gets whupped, then makes a comeback with speed. Marella interrupts, but it backfires and Kelly rolls up Beth.
Kelly Kelly defeats Phoenix (Pin, Roll Up, *)
The heels attempt to beat up Kelly Kelly post-match, but here comes Batista. You know what happens next.
A video airs showing how Cryme Tyme are having a net feud with the Miz and John Morrison. It’s appropriately hilarious.
Match 5: Miz and John Morrison vs. Cryme Tyme
JTG uses speed to beat up the heels, then Shad uses his power and then a big JTG dive to the floor. Fun fire period. We return from break for heat on JTG, but its short and we have a brouhaha. The Miz ends up with Shad and Morisson kicks him in the back of the head from behind for three.
Miz and Morrison defeat Shad and JTG (Pin, Kick to the Head, **)
Jericho has a strange idea about the main event he runs by Adamle. Manipulation is awesome when you’re a heely heel.
Charlie Haas “earlier today†is at Dave and Buster’s to pay tribute to Mr. Perfect by giving the perfect tribute… messing up all the sports Hennig did perfectly in his original vignettes. Hot damn that was awesome. He finishes by slapping his gum into an old woman’s salad. Sahweet.
Match 6: Shawn Michaels and Batista vs. NotStanHansen and Chris Jericho and Lance Cade
Since I’m not the only one thinking it, I might as well write it… Don’t Batista and Shawn hate each other? So much for continuity. They do some back and forth quickly and HBK ends up Ricky Morton for a night. The heels act all heely in heeling it up against HBK for heel heat. Heel.
The hot tag causes the place to erupt. He kicks the hell out of Jericho before letting Michaels in for the big elbow. Sweet Chin Music misses and it’s all reversals until JBL runs in. Why tag HBK in so soon after he got his ass kicked? JBL and Batista go down and now Cade is in. Cade gets beat down and Jericho bails HBK goes after Jericho and turns into a Urinage bomb as Cade gets a huge win.
Cade, Jericho and JBL defeat HBK and Batista (Pin, Urinage Bomb, **)
Well, for a huge, anniversary Raw, that was uneventful. Shane McMahon does not a special event make.
The Middle W
This isn’t a reference to our soon to be ex-President, but rather the Wrestling in World Wrestling Entertainment. Jim Cornette once said “Wrestling fans tune into a wrestling show to watch wrestlers wrestle.†For me, at the very least, this is certainly the case and I watch a ton of wrestling from all around the world. Each week I’ll be attempting to broaden WWE fans horizons with a review of a great match they might not have ever seen or even heard of.
Ring of Honor is the upstart northeast wrestling promotion known for high quality workrate and logical booking that takes time to play out. They release all their shows on DVD, which can be found at www.rohwrestling.com. This Friday, they will be having a Pay Per View which can be purchased for $15. If you’re interested, check your local listings. ROH, for anyone under a rock, is the company where such wrestlers as Samoa Joe, CM Punk, Evan Bourne, Brian Kendrick and Homicide made there names.
Here’s a sample review. If it sounds interesting, you should consider checking out the Pay Per View.
ROH Vendetta 2: Austin Aries vs. Jimmy Jacobs
Jimmy Jacobs spent a year chasing after Lacey, his manager, whom he was madly in love with. After finally succeeding with her, he felt empty and became something of a nihilist, beginning the Age of the Fall, a group of misfits. Lacey joined the group. That group decided to recruit Austin Aries, a former ROH Champion who was on a bit of a losing streak. Lacey offered to privately seal the deal with Austin Aries.
Lacey, in the process, fell for Aries, and Aries fell for her. This lead to Jacobs feelings being rekindled and him going into a wild rage at Aries and Lacey. Aries, with his head clear, was finally happy and back on a winning track… until Jacobs began attacking him at every turn. Worse, Jacobs did something privately to Lacey which caused her to leave wrestling entirely. This enraged Aries and the feud was on. What we have here is the first no-holds barred street fight between Aries and Jacobs.
Aries can barely contain himself right off the bat. Jacobs, knowing he’s in Aries head, kisses Austin right on the lips. This leads Aries to immediately freak out and beat Jacobs all around the building. That could be cliché, but someone taking a dive off the bleachers and some great intensity keep it good.
Jacobs finally got control and attacked Aries back. This was really added by a dive onto a chair which cut a gusher into Aries back. Everything for most of the match that Jacobs did, including numerous Contra Codes (Sliced Bread # 2) focused on that body part. Aries for his part sold it really well at first, but went too power focused out of Jacobs finisher, the End Time (front guillotine choke), lifting out of it numerous times. Aries offense was much better excecuted, with a lot of neck work to set up Aries own Brainbuster and Last Chancery (head portion of the Muta lock).
Jacobs is a god at these matches, knowing exactly how to risk everything for the win with huge moves and still be a sneering heel. The crowd will usually get behind a guy doing these kinds of spots, but Jacobs never ceases to be despicable. The overbooking was reminiscent of Raven’s best ECW matches, but didn’t play in the finish, just the start of the finishing sequence. The finishing sequence was hot and very smartly put together, with a great back and forth and a palpable desperation as these guys found another gear of how they tried to hurt each other. **** ¼ – **** ½
Post match, Aries gets to choose Jacobs next opponent for the Chicago return and chooses Jacobs Age of the Fall partner, The Necro Butcher. This leads directly into the PPV Friday.
Thanks for stopping by this week for The Wrestling Analyst.
Check back on Friday for ROH Weekly and next Monday for another full slate of wrestling analysis!
