More Reasons Why Being Deaf Sucks/Rocks – (a)Version

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So just over a year ago I had a pretty major break-up. I mean, I’m talking “completely cut out of my life”-type break-up. And at the time it seemed completely justified. Of course, looking back now, I see that I completely overreacted.

I behaved badly. I blew things out of proportion. And here, a year later, I regret the whole thing. And not to pass the buck, but I firmly believe that the majority of the blame rests on the blocky shoulders of MTV. Y’see, last year the VMAs were held in Las Vegas, and if they hadn’t been, I’m pretty sure that the break-up never would have happened.

Since the VMAs were in Vegas, and I lived in Vegas, I thought that it was obviously a sign that I should watch the VMAs from the comfort of my own home. That was my first mistake.

I usually don’t care about the VMAs. I really hate to sound clichéd, but I stopped caring about the VMAs right around the time when MTV decided it wasn’t important to actually… y’know, show videos. As a result, I generally don’t watch the shows when they air. (Another reason is because MTV had the habit of replaying the VMAs on what seems like an endless loop, which kind of decreases the urgency for checking the show out.)

But because last year’s VMAs were only supposed to air once and were taking place in Las Vegas, I figured, “what could it hurt?” It turns out that it could hurt a ton.

Now at that point in time, there was this little album that I had in regular rotation—Mark Ronson’s Version (dope concept; an album of covers of a wide variety of songs by a wide variety of artists). (I also really like the sound that Ronson’s been creating as of late. It resonates with me.) Kenna covering Ryan Adams? Amy Winehouse covering The Zutons? A Coldplay cover with soul? Sign me up.

But after sitting through the VMAs, I was so sick of Mark Ronson that I completely deleted Version from my iTunes. Furthermore, I banished the actual disc to the bottom of my stack o’ CDs, just beneath that unbearably long Red Hot Chili Peppers double-album (you know, the one that feels like a triple-album). I put Version under that.

At the time I felt complete justified. Not only was Mark Ronson playing the role of the conductor or musical supervisor for the VMAs, which meant that I not only heard Version songs during the actual show, but also during commercials—MTV used songs from the album in promos for The Hills, that scripted show that bombed and whatever else was new at the time. I had reached my own personal threshold for Version, and MTV forcing its songs down my throat for a couple of hours really sent me over the edge.

But in the year 2008 I’m a different man. I realize that I shouldn’t have allowed outside forces to come between us. Maybe I did need some time away from Version, but to break things off completely was just childish. I panicked. I felt backed into a corner and I overreacted.

I wish I could go back in time and make things right. I wish I had Version here with me now. I’d like nothing more than for Version to be the first thing I hear in the morning, and I’d love to fall asleep to Version after a long day at work.

But Version isn’t with me now. Version is with the hundreds of other albums that are still in Tucson waiting to make their way to Baltimore. Because of a mistake that I made, Version and I are apart. But I really believe that we’ll be reunited and it’ll feel like all of that ugliness never happened.

At least, that’s what I hope.