Project Runway – Episode 5-11 Review

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Suede manages to dodge a bullet again, meaning he’s our ‘I gotta step it up!’ whiner of the week. Leanne thinks it’d be cool to have an all-girl finale, but thinks Jerrell has been really good – so he should dress in drag at Bryant Park. I’d rather see him in drag than see snotty bitch Kenley, that’s for sure.

Time for the designers to pick their models, and guess what – there’s drama this time! Eight models come out, and three will have to go home. Jerrell gets to pick first, and stays with his girl, Nicole. Kenley’s up, decides to ditch Germaine (which I’m mad about) and take Joe’s old model, Topacio. Korto calls sweet, little Leanne a heartbreaker when she goes and steals Tia away from Suede. Suede’s upset, but he has to pick a new girl and he chooses the other black model. Korto’s last, and she sticks with Katarina.

Tim announces the challenge back in the workroom – they’re going to be designing for each other. The designers’ are pissed about losing their models, and they don’t even get to use them – ha! Suede’s designing for Jerrell, Kenley for Leanne, Korto for Suede, Jerrell for Kenley, and Leanne for Korto. The challenge will be to design an outfit based on a specific genre of music. Kenley’s going to have to be a pop princess, Suede’s punk, Korto’s country (oh, the hilarity), Leanne’s hip-hop (*snort*), and Jerrell is rock ‘n roll (Stellaaaaa, this would have been your challenge. Though fate would have had her making country, I bet)

During consultation time, Korto warns Suede that he better speak up immediately if she’s doing anything he doesn’t like, because she doesn’t want to snap in front of Tim. Leanne gives us a sad attempt at rapping to try to be hip-hop. You get an A for effort, honey. Meanwhile, Kenley’s off to a bad start because her sketch? So not hip-hop. Jerrell’s talking about looking like a cheesed-out glam rock star, and Suede’s annoyed because he doesn’t want to make another ‘dated’ outfit. Jerrell’s planning on making Kenley look like Kenley Spears. So you’re going to turn Kenley into a drunk, hot mess? Leanne’s concerned about how country is not Korto’s style at all.

In Mood, Tim’s concerned when Kenley pulls out this flowery print, and tries to pass it off as graffiti-like. *headdesks* I see a horrendous critique in your future. Korto calls herself Shania Janked once in the workroom, because she feels she’s going to look seriously jacked up as a country girl. They try to come up with a hip-hop-esque name for Leanne, calling her Lil Leannimal. When was the last time you saw a leather jacket, blouse, and high-waisted jeans in a hip-hop video. That’s right, never. Which is why Kenley’s ass better be going home because I’m sick of her getting by with crap like this.

Jerrell gloats about last week’s win, saying he wants to be the first to win three in a row. He’s making Kenley a fishnet mini-dress with diamond cuffs, and seeing Kenley mortified to wear it I say is karma out to get her. Suede informs us that he’s a trained cellist, so he’s not really punk rock. Korto tries on some cowboy boots, then starts feeling the county spirit and starts line-dancing and singing across the room. Girl, if you think that’s being country – head over to SUNY Cobleskill on a Wednesday night and prepare to get schooled. Kenley’s confused at how to put Jerrell’s outfit on. Suede has to see what’s going on, presumably to laugh, but he comments that he loves her boobs.

Tim loves the silhouette Jerrell is going for and thinks it needs something, but not the fabric Jerrell got from killing Grimace the McDonald’s mascot. He’s concerned that Leanne’s look is too subtle. Korto doesn’t want to go too stereotypical punk, but Tim doesn’t think it looks destroyed and punk enough. Suede’s scared by Tim’s silence, and Tim doesn’t think the design is wrapped up enough. When presented with Kenley’s jeans, Tim informs her that when people think of hip-hop, they think oversized; to which Kenley obviously has a snotty remark. Tim’s tells Kenley she needs to listen to him and kill the sarcasm to get by. Kenley defies him once again, and I really wish Tim could just give her the bitchslap that she deserves.

Kenley thinks she knows more about hip-hop than Tim. At least he knows that hip-hip doesn’t look like a 50’s housewife. Everyone’s anxiously waiting for Kenley’s spectacular failure. Korto’s trying to kill off the competition with bleach fumes. Jerrell’s amused by Leanne’s attempt to tame Korto’s junk-in-the-trunk to make it look country. Hey, booty is ‘in’ in country music, it’s called ‘honky-tonk badonkadonk’! Kenley’s dumping about five pounds of accessories on Leanne and trying to call it hip-hop. Tim’s scared of everyone’s new looks as he shuffles them out to the runway.

LL Cool J is this week’s guest judge, which means Kenley’s getting torn apart on the runway. Country-fried Korto comes out first, and I think the outfit looks cute. Doesn’t scream ‘country’, but has a country vibe. Kenley comes out looking like a glammed-out hooker, which means Jerrell nailed the pop look. Kenley thinks that Leanne’s not selling her outfit and that she looks like a corny poser. Um, maybe if you made an outfit that actually was hip-hop, she’d look better. Suede walks out looking pissed off as hell, which is the perfect attitude to go with Korto’s look, I love it. Jerrell comes out, and it’s nothing special.

The judges feel that Korto’s outfit for Suede had a lot of energy, and it fit him really well. Jerrell said he wanted more Aerosmith out of Suede’s look, and the judges think Suede didn’t go far enough. Kors calls it “rock ‘n roll going to the grocery store” (twist on the Gristedes challenge, anyone?) The judges rave over Jerrell’s look, liking how Kenley’s exposed, yet everything’s covered. Heidi basically tells Kenley “WTF?” when critiquing her outfit, and Kenley becomes defensive to the point that it should sign her ticket back home. Leanne made a good choice of color for her outfit, but it could have used a little more oomph.

Korto deservingly wins the challenge this week. Jerrell and Leanne are also ‘in’. Suede was too safe, and Kenley was just off. The judges prefer failing the challenge over boring, so Suede is our auf’ed designer! And Suede’s “packing up his workspace” shows us how it was really filmed before anyone really went home. Way to go ‘reality’ TV.

Kiera Vallone hails from Long Island, NY. She is currently a junior-year journalism student at SUNY Purchase.

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