The Summer Olympics in LA are less than a week away in 1984. Your commentators are Gorilla Monsoon and Gene Oakerlund.
WWF Heavyweight Championship – The Incredible Hulk Hogan (c) v. Greg “The Hammer” Valentine: This is the “white tights” Hogan era. Valentine attacks before the bell. It’s strange seeing Hogan with the belt but without red and yellow or steroid bloat. However, he’s already reached the “gets balder as he gets sweatier” stage, so it balances. Hogan’s is control with his variety of punches and scoop slams. Valentine gets to do his atomic drop salesjob. It’s amazing how well Hogan’s aged as compared to these other guys from the 80s… also, he’s not dead yet. Hogan grabs a headlock but Valentine reverses into a backdrop for control and camel clutch. Not for long, though, has Hogan powers up. Commercial break and we come back with Hogan in control outside the ring. Gene says that this match is bringing both bedlam AND pandemonium, so you know it’s serious. Back in to the ring and Valentine lands the rest hold. Hogan’s arm doesn’t fall for the third time and he’s already doing the index finger in the hair back and forth to indicate he’s OK. However, this is before the Hulk Up was his finisher so Valentine takes a couple punches and ducks out of the ring. Hogan follows and Valentine grabs a chair. A ringside fans tries to stop him and grab the chair so Valentine THROWS THE CHAIR AT THE FAN and grabs another. Holy crap! Talk about a different era. Back in the ring and Valentine tries for the figure four (no shin-guard) but boot in the ass counters. Valentine starts working the leg. Goes to the 2nd rope and gets two. Valentine goes back for the top rope but Hogan counters the dive with a clothesline. Leg drop and we’re done. Good match well before Hogan’s matches were all “get beat up, hulk up, leg drop.” B-.
We’re informed that our champs at the time were Hulk Hogan, Tito Santana, and Adrian Adonis/Dick Murdoch. Speaking of which, the tag champs are up next.
WWF Tag Team Championship – Dick Murdoch/Adrian Adonis (c) vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Terry Daniels: Murdoch and Daniels start. Some quick take-down attempts by Murdoch blocked by Daniels. I forgot there was was an Adrian Adonis before he became a fat drag queen. Wrestling sequence sees Daniels grab an armbar. And stays in it… forever. Adonis, to kill time, mocks the MSG crowd. Murdoch eventually fights out and tags in Adonis as Daniels tags in Slaughter to a huge pop. In an odd reversal of the tag team formula, Slaughter and Daniels work over Adonis. In another crazy athletic maneuver for 1984, Adrian Adonis tries to monkey flip Terry Daniels who does a full front flip and lands on his feet. Crazy. Adonis makes the corner to tag Murdoch as we go to commercial. We’re back and Adonis has been tagged back in, so something got clipped. Terry Daniels is now good guy in peril as we wait for Slaughter’s hot tag. In a funny spot, Daniels gets whipped in to a neutral corner but Slaughter puts his butt in the way so Daniels hits his butt instead of the turnbuckle. That was… different. This leads to the HOT TAG. Adonis tags out and it’s Murdoch’s turn to get beat up by Slaughter. Another cool idea sees Murdoch laying on the canvas, Slaughter picking up Daniels in a fireman’s carry, and dropping a knee on Murdoch for the double man-weight kneedrop. Daniels is again the good guy in peril as I remember that 80s matches were basically the same as current matches — just longer. Slaughter gets the hot tag and that’s a Cobra Clutchin’ for Dick Murdoch but Adonis makes the save. Daniels back in and he’s a house of fire and it’s pandemonium. The ref tries to sort it out by getting Slaughter out of the ring but behind his back Murdoch and Adonis do Demolition Decapitation for the win. Post-match, Slaughter beats up everyone. Formulaic tag match, just with using the formula twice – B-.
WWF Women’s Championship – The Fabulous Moolah (c) (w/ Captain Lou Albano) vs. Wendi Richter (w/ Cyndi Lauper): Moolah is like the 30-year reigning champion and already in her 60s at this point. This is also the “Brawl To End Them All” that aired on MTV and heralded “The Rock n Wrestling Era” … for better or worse. Moolah starts with early control and with hair beals so you know she’s the heel. Wendi is thrown out of the ring early. Moolah brings Wendi back in by the hair and starts handing out flagrant chokes for four-counts. I love that move. Wendy takes over with a punches to the old, non-functional uterus. Wendi grabs an armbar and we have some 80s wrestling at its finest. Wendi tries to do a standing splash on the arm, but Moolah moves. Moolah tries a standing splash of her own and also misses. Moolah’s in the ropes and Wendi goes for the pin. Oy. She tries to get up but Moolah grabs the hair. Moolah goes in to a sequence where she really uses the hair in ways I’ve never seen. She lays Wendi back on the top rope then pulls her hair under the bottom rope so she can’t move her head and beats on her. Then she turns her over and pulls her hair through the middle rope in a choke. Cool stuff. Modern heel women should watch this — it’s apparently a lost art. Wendi tries to take over with a an Irish whip into the corner but Moolah dodges the diving shoulderblock. Moolah then does the “arms wrapped in the top and middle ropes” spot with her legs which ends up having her stuck upside down in the ropes. Commercial. Back from commercial and Moolah is out of the ropes with Wendi in control. Wendi brings Moolah to the corner and Cyndi Lauper gets a shot right in front of the referee. Capt. Lou freaks out and demands a DQ but WE WILL CONTINUE!!! Wendi doesn’t get a ton of close ups but, when she finally does, she’s the definition of 80s hot. I wonder if she’s crazy or dead. Moolah gets a pin but pulls Wendi up at 2 by the hair. Moolah grabs a full nelson. The well-documented finish to this match sees both women facing the corner and Moolah pulling Wendi over into a bridged-German suplex for the pin. Both women’s shoulders are down but Wendi pulls her right shoulder up at the last second and ends Moolah’s century-long title reign. Post match, the ref gets dropkicked and stomped by Moolah. A for history. A- as a women’s match even though Wendi was really green and Moolah was obviously running the whole thing and working the crowd.
Backstage, Wendi and Cyndi Lauper are interviewed by Mean Gene. Wow was Cyndi Lauper not hot at all. Wendi Richter is very southern and she’s very happy. Gene brings in Dave Wolf who is supposedly Cyndi Lauper’s manager and holy crap… picture the standard 80s Manhattan pop star manager with the parted hair that is kinda wavy and down to his jaw and the giant aviators. He lets us know that “women don’t belong in the kitchen getting pregnant, but out there doing things.” Now we get the celebration. We get both Slaughter and Hogan congratulating Richter. Hogan calls Richter the “Marilyn Monroe of the wrestling world” and thanks Cyndi for watching his “main squeeze’s back”. Captain Lou tries to break up the festivities but Hogan will have none of it. It’s very funny to watch “locker room” interviews when they actually took place in locker rooms instead of sets that look like locker rooms because they sound like they’re being recorded in locker rooms.
