The SmarK 24/7 Rant for Monday Night RAW – October 6 1997
– We start with a 10-bell salute for Brian Pillman, made all the more heartbreaking by the montage of grieving wrestlers who would then have their own lives ended short as well. Owen Hart, Rick Rude, Hawk, British Bulldog…and on it goes.
– Live from Kansas City, MO.
– Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler & Jim Ross
– And we start with Michael Cole interviewing D-X, always a potential comedy goldmine. In fact, this is one of the first appearances of MC, as he immediately gets a MAJOR wedgie from Chyna and HHH. Funny seeing young and skinny Michael on this show, while much older and buff and tattooed Michael hosts in the present. So Shawn’s talking point this week is that he beat the Undertaker in that new-fangled Hell in a Cell match and thus he’s the best in the world. In fact, he declares himself the Icon, the Showstopper, the Main Event, which was pretty much the height of his egomania. That whole back-and-forth with Hunter became part of their video packages for a long while after that. Shawn asks the “nimrods in the truck” to show some of his performance from the night before, but instead we get footage of the infamous MSG Incident (“Hey, you were a bad buy and I was a good guy!”), and Shawn decides to go after Vince and shatter kayfabe in a million different ways on live TV. Now this was edgy stuff. Ironically, Shawn’s tirade against Vince is stopped by the entrance of the Hart Foundation. And thus begins the feud that changed wrestling. Things get nasty as Bret accuses them of being “homos” and brags about making more money than all three combined, despite Shawn “barebacking” his way into the main event. Bret challenges HHH tonight, and Shawn & HHH respond with smart-ass open-mouthed looks of shock. Shawn’s got two words for Bret: Suck it. And more, as he then rants about how he works when he feels like while Bret goes out every night on the road, and then he really twists the knife by telling Bret that he’s only in the main event of Survivor Series because Shawn is there, and Bret is only a paper champion who provides support for his PPV main events. Oh man. Gotta say, Shawn was leaving Bret in the dust with these promos, as Bret was obviously world-weary and tired of the drama at this point.
– Meanwhile, Sable plays Lazer Tag. No, really.
Lumberjack match: The Godwinns v. The Headbangers
I recall being pretty annoyed by the Godwinns winning the tag belts back in the day, but time has rendered me more bored with the Headbangers than the Godwinns. Mosh surfs the lumberjacks for fun while Thrasher starts with PIG, and the Bangers get a double-suplex for two. Henry comes in and puts Thrasher down with a big boot, but Phineas misses a series of elbows and the Bangers work him over in the corner. Henry drops Thrasher with Snake Eyes, however, and gets a clothesline for two before throwing him to the heel side for a beatdown. Back in, PIG drops a knee for two. And then everyone runs into the ring for a silly brawl, and Mosh rolls up PIG for the pin at 4:09. That was the only reaction from the crowd for the entire match. 1/2* I didn’t even remember Tony Anthony as “Uncle Cletus”.
– Meanwhile, Los Boriquas are suddenly racial stereotype gangbangers.
Marc Mero v. Miguel Perez
Mero returns here, no longer a Wildman and with new music and a new look as a boxer. He slugs Perez into the corner and puts him down with a kneelift before punching him in the back of the head off a hammerlock. Elbow and he works Perez over in the corner, but runs into a boot and Perez comes back with a clothesline. Corner clothesline, but he walks into Mero’s new finish, the TKO, at 2:20. Brock Lesnar would of course swipe that one to great effect, and ironically go on to have Sable, too. Mero’s “hard man” makeover was actually very reminiscent of what current UFC fighters shoot for as a look, so he was kind of ahead of his time here.
– Meanwhile, Jim Cornette goes off on a famous rant with a capital R, as he buries Kevin Nash (six moves and no mobility) and Sean Waltman (“the other guys think he’s funny when he gets drunk and throws up on himself”). And Eric Bischoff spends money to buy guys so he can hang around with them and “prove his Johnson is bigger than everyone else”. He rails against guys who hang around with the boss and suck up to him. Seriously, although the rest of the diatribe was brilliantly cutting stuff, no one who works for Vince McMahon can take a stand against sucking up to the boss. This was…something else…but eventually they’d start asking him to work storylines into his passionate rants and they stopped just like that.
The British Bulldog v. Rocky Maivia
Rock slugs on Bulldog to start but walks into a clothesline before running away. The heel sneer and selling and visual look is already starting to resemble the future Rock. He’s noticeably slimmer here as well. Bulldog pokes him in the eye to block a leapfrog, which is about the point when Rock retired that move. Bulldog runs into a knee, however, and Rocky stomps him down and then chokes away in the corner. The People’s Elbow (beta testing version 0.1) gets two. Bulldog comes back with a delayed suplex, but runs into a boot in the corner, and Rock cradles for two. Bulldog comes back with the running powerslam for the pin at 3:42. It turns into a brawl with the Nation and the Foundation afterwards, showing where things would have gone if not for you know what. Match wasn’t anything great, but it’s just infinitely fascinating for me to watch Rock develop as a wrestler match after match. *1/2
– And the hits just keep on coming, as Vince McMahon brings out Steve Austin and offers him an ultimatum: Sign a release form stating the WWF isn’t responsible for him and if he ends up in a wheelchair, it’s his own damn fault. Austin treats him like dirt, even though Vince really hadn’t done anything in storyline terms at that point and was just trying to run his company. This was majorly historic because it was one of the first times that Vince was not only acknowledged as the owner of the company, but where he also participated as the new figurehead of the company by booking matches. In this case, Austin v. Owen at Survivor Series. Faarooq interrupts to bitch about how tough he is because he grew up on the streets or something, which sets up the Austin v. Rock feud for after Survivor Series. Stuff’s all fitting together now.
Intercontinental title: Owen Hart v. Hawk
Well this is pretty morbid. Where they came up with this as a feature match, I have no idea. Hawk with a press slam and neckbreaker for two right away, and he follows with a corner clothesline. Blind charge misses and Owen gets the ENZUIGIRI OF DEATH, then goes up as the Godwinns join us. Owen gets an elbow for two and a backbreaker. Weak gut wrench suplex gets two. Hawk comes back with a clothesline out of the corner, but Owen goes low and follows with a DDT, which Hawk no-sells. PIG hits Hawk with his bucket and Hawk won’t even sell that, making the comeback and going up (after initially climbing the wrong turnbuckle) with a flying clothesline, but Henry hits him with a shot from outside with the horseshoe and Owen gets the pin at 3:22. This was fucking awful, but then Owen was out there wrestling the day after the death of one of his best friends so it’s understandable. DUD
– And now we up the class level, as Vince does a live interview with Melanie Pillman, who is a complete wreck. Vince is just a total shithead, asking her how she’s going to support herself and the kids now. What nerve.
– We follow with a video tribute to Pillman.
– Kane debuts on RAW (and he’s not even on the format sheet, according to JR!) and destroys a couple of jobbers, Matt and Jeff something. Guess we’ll never hear from those losers again. Kane’s entrance and ominous first interview from Paul Bearer made him into an instant star, and he’s been riding it for 10 years now.
WWF World title: Bret Hart v. HHH
Hunter Hearst Helmsley is dead, long live HHH. Bret hammers away on HHH in the corner to start, and follows with a suplex before slugging HHH down again. HHH retreats to the corner, but Bret yanks him out and stomps him. HHH chokes him out on the ropes and slugs him down in the corner, but Bret puts him down with a clothesline and a DDT for two. And now Shawn joins us, telling the crowd to suck it with mini crotch chops on the way to the ring…where he picks his nose with the Canadian flag. HHH gets a high knee for two as Owen & Neidhart come down to even things up, and we take a break. Suplex gets two for HHH. Atomic drop and sleeper, but Bret suplexes out of it. He comes back with his own atomic drop into a clothesline, and the backbreaker sets up the middle rope elbow…but he lands on HHH’s boot. The announcers skirt the issue of the Five Moves of Doom being too predictable but don’t say it outright. HHH hits him with a DDT for two. Bret comes back and takes HHH down for the Sharpshooter, but Chyna helps him make the ropes. Bret sets up for the ringpost figure-four, but Shawn superkicks him from out of frame and Bret gets counted out at 7:50. Boy, if he thinks he got screwed there… **
Man, Crash TV used to be pretty fucking awesome despite the low quality of the matches.
I think it’s really fascinating as well to see the two sides of the Bret Hart story here, as Bret saw himself (and still does) as Seth Bullock riding into Deadwood to clean up the town in the name of law and order, but perspective has shown that he was an aging former star who couldn’t adjust to the drastic change in style, and he got left behind by guys like Rock, Austin and Shawn Michaels. It’s just sad in a lot of ways, and there was no big Hollywood comeback for him, either.
A great show on many levels this week, although most of them are historical ones.
