My dad has picked the ‘whiny-bitch’ team of the season. Terrance continues whining about Sarah talking to other teams, blah blah blah. The teams will be headed by plane to Fortaleza, Brazil; once there they must find the Plaza de Cambuto. Nick and Starr are first off at 4:07am, with Ken/Tina and Terrance/Sarah close behind. King Whiner gets whacked in the head by the taxi, and puts on quite a performance. You’re not getting any sympathy from me, boy. Team Geek feels that they have an advantage because they don’t have to live with their partner when the race is over.
The first few teams arrive at the airport and Ken/Tina find a flight to Fortaleza at 6:45am – but the flight only has one seat open. Nick/Starr and Terrance/Sarah are waiting behind them, and somehow through some serious talking skills – Tina gets the flight upgraded to a bigger plane. This inflates Tina’s ego, as she proceeds to announce the fact to every team they pass. Drama erupts when its time to board – Terrance/Sarah were first in line, but Tina jumps to the front because she feels that since they signed up first, they should board first. Terrance whines, Ken gives him a smooch, which is effective in ending the whinefest.
Once in Fortaleza, the lead teams run around the airport trying to find the taxis. The back of the pack is smart, finds the Domestic area – and the lead flips. Team Forgettable (Anthony/Stephanie) pick a bad taxi that doesn’t start right, so they’re not starting off well.
Terrance/Sarah are first to the next cluebox on the beach – they must take a dunebuggy to the Barrac D Mandel. King Whiner feels that “God is showering them with love and joy”, when what he really needs is a shower of maturity. As they’re driven through the down, Team Forgettable feel really bad about the living conditions and realize that they should be grateful for what they have. Aja/Ty and Team Superbad run around and can’t find the cluebox, allowing a few teams to pass them.
Detour! This week’s choices are Beach It, or Docket. Beach It involves choosing a traditional boat and 2-man crew, then using wooden rolling logs to move the boat 100yds to the water. Docket involves looking up a number the team is given in a database, finding the 4-letter prefix before it, then using that code to find the container with that serial number in a port.
Everyone is choosing Beach It, except for Team Geek. They know they’re good with computers, so they head off to Docket. Marissa and Brooke want to do Docket, but they stupidly follow a team to Beach It and just decide to stay there. Terrance/Sarah are the first to finish their Detour – their next destination is Parque De Vaquejada. Mark and Bill’s geek powers help them once again, as they finish fast and are making up time. Kerri and Christy are morons, don’t read the clue correctly, and think they have to find an open container before they can get a taxi. They start digging in the sand, trying to find this mystery container – which if they had a functioning brain cell, they would realize they read the wrong option. Good job.
While Terrance/Sarah finished first, they don’t go to the right area to get a taxi. Fail. Team Geek passes them, Ken/Tina passes them – and King Whiner is getting more and more pissed off. Finally, Toni/Dallas have a heart and tell him where to pick up a taxi. Team Forgettable reads the clue in their taxi, and teams are supposed to have their driver wait for them at the next stop. If they’re pointing this out, you know what this means – someone’s not going to pay attention to that fact.
Team Geek are first to the cluebox, and it’s a Roadblock. One person must run down this long wall with all sorts of ads, and find the name of their next location (Cidade de Crianca). Light-haired Geek decides to do it, and he starts jotting down random symbols and stuff. He then gets smart and writes all the names on the list down, and Tina follows suit. After rambling off the names, he eventually says the right one and is given the clue. The Cidade de Crianca is the Pit Stop for this leg. Ken/Tina finish soon after, and their taxi passes the geeks.
In their taxi, Kelly and Christy stupidly say “We. Have. Learned. To. Read. The. Clue.”. What do they do? <i>Not</i> read the clue, and don’t tell their taxi to wait. Meanwhile, Ken/Tina and Team Geek are in a footrace to find Phil – Ken/Tina are Team #1, and win an off-road vehicle. Mark/Bill are Team #2, and are happy to see Ken/Tina’s relationship starting to improve.
Nearly all the teams are trying to do the Roadblock, with some smartly deciding to sabotage others. Team ‘We Can’t Read’ finishes 3rd, but they have to scramble for a taxi. Please let their stupidity get them eliminated. Aja/Ty, Toni/Dallas, and Terrance/Sarah all arrive at the Pit Stop at the same time – and in a move of good sportsmanship, they wait until all 6 members catch up before getting on the mat. Terrance/Sarah get 3rd, Aja/Ty get 4th, and Toni/Dallas get 5th.
Team Superbad and Nick/Starr are still struggling at the Roadblock. Nick tells FatBoy he’ll help him out if he gets it, but runs off once he gets the right name. That’s how you play the game! Team ‘We Can’t Read’ ends up finding their taxi, so they still have a shot. Nick/Starr come in #6, with Kelly/Christy managing to get #7. Superbad and the Blondes are seconds apart, as teams #8 and #9. This means, I no longer have to try to remember Team Forgettable – because they are last and therefore eliminated.
Kiera Vallone hails from Long Island, NY. She is currently a junior-year Journalism student at SUNY Purchase.
