The Wrestling Analyst: Episode 4

Columns, Top Story

Quick News

Vince McMahon wants wrestlers to be better actors and tasks Freddie Prinze, Jr. with teaching them.

Two notes: 1. Freddie Prinze is not the guy to teach people to act. Pony up for acting coaches Vince. 2. Paul London handled this on his own and is still nowhere to be seen on T.V.

A new WWE Cartoon?

I must admit, it’s a good idea.

Maria and Kelly Kelly may look to be in Playboy together.

Given demographics, that probably should have been my lead.

In other news, JBL is a thin layer of Stan Hansen, but crossed with the Honky Tonk Man, then subtracting about ¾ of the awesome from that mix.

For more WWE news, including the latest on Raven, Saunders, and Kanyon’s Lawsuit against WWE, check This Week in ‘E

Wrestling the Issue

This week will be the first of the monthly feature where the week after a Pay Per View we look at each result, not merely for result, or even for match quality, but for what that result tells us about the WWE’s current mindset and view of their wrestlers. Joining me for this, hopefully regularly, but at least for this month, is For Your Consideration’s Andy Wheeler.

Match 1: ECW World Title Match: Matt Hardy defeats Mark Henry via Twist of Fate

Wheeler’s Take: Basically, it shows that the WWE has faith in Matt Hardy carrying the ECW title. His win in the scramble was a way for the WWE to test the waters without committing to Matt as a true champion. Matt didn’t pin mark Henry, so if the audience turned on him or the ratings sunk, they could have him drop the belt without issue. By beating Henry with a relatively clean pinfall, the WWE has signaled that matt is THE guy on ECW.

Glazers’ Take: The spot on the card seems to bother many people, but given the pop Matt regularly gets, putting him at the opener all but guarantees a hot crowd for the card.

Match 2: WWE Women’s Title Match: Beth Phoenix defeats Candace Michelle via Implant Buster

Wheeler’s Take: If the WWE wanted to take the women’s title off of Beth to split up Glamorella than they would have done it here and given the title to perennial golden girl Candice Michelle. Candice’s return in-ring performance has been beyond subpar, and putting the gold on her is a liability. The match showed that Santino’s potential for screwing up Beth’s matches will continue, because when he eventually costs her the title, the power couple will implode. Candice will now fade quietly into the background and the WWE can wait until Melina returns or until Kelly Kelly is ready to step up and be champ.

Glazers’ Take: The WWE, by keeping Beth with the wildly entertaining Santino, has a real winning act on their hands. His bungling and her toughness are the best thing to happen to the women’s division since Trish was active. This match shows that they realize this and can get at least several more months of this act together, drawing awesome heat for the eventual Phoenix face-turn when Santino costs her a huge match, likely for the title against Kelly Kelly around the time of her Playboy spread. Interestingly, this is possibly the best planned out part of the entire card.

Match 3: Rey Mysterio defeats Kane via Disqualification when Kane smashed Rey with a chair

Wheeler’s Take: By kane not taking Rey’s mask and by Rey not pinning Kane, the feud can continue. The WWE has nothing to do for Rey or for Kane, so keeping two high profile people a meaningless feud keeps them on TV and in front of the crowds without actually forcing them to do anything. Should jericho need a foil, he’s got Rey. Should Dave need an opponent, he’s got Kane. In the meantime, they can continue to live out Vince’s big man/little man fetish. Rey isn’t going to unmask because those damn things sell too much. The finish protected each guy and ensured that we’ll get a gimmick rematch at Cyber Sunday, possibly a hardcore match where Rey can hit Kane with enough weaponry to pin the guy but not take away any of Kane’s credibility.

Glazers’ Take: With the way the mask stipulation was thrown in last second, it was obvious this was going to continue, only trying to draw a few extra buys from the more gullible fans in the audience. The introduction of weapons means that we’re guaranteed a gimmick match. Kane really wouldn’t gain anything from taking a guy more than a foot shorter than him’s mask, so he won’t, while the gimmick allows Rey to go over strong without killing Kane for losing to someone so tiny.

Match 4: Batista defeats JBL via Batista Bomb to become the #1 Contender

Wheeler’s Take: Dave can bitch and moan about his place and he rightfully can. If the WWE had faith in him, he would have walked out of the scramble with the gold. Beating JBL, who is now essentially a jobber to the stars, he’s going to get a nice mini-feud with Jericho that could stretch through survivor series. Will he be champ? Probably not, but at least he’ll be back in the main event. JBL is a great comedy upper card guy who can curtain jerk one week’s Raw and main event the next and won’t feel out of place. He isn’t relevant anymore and his “reputation” doesn’t need to be shielded. Dave will be the #1 face now, with HBK moving down a peg and Punk firmly in the upper midcard. Batista/Jericho’s got some legs and his essential squash over Bradshaw got that done. JBL’s potential breakdown could (could) be entertaining, but chances are it’ll get old really fast because he wont be world champion again.

Glazers’ Take: I don’t think this is Batista’s big push to the belt, but more a transition for a PPV. The Cyber Sunday voted gimmick makes it fairly easy for him to get screwed out of the title and move HBK right back in after a quick one shot with Lance Cade. I’d expect HBK Jericho to blow off at Survivor Series, whether because HBK costs Jericho the belt or, more likely to me, just moving that way after Jericho squeaks by Batista. Batista at the moment could really be put over the top by the belt. The IWC doesn’t like him, but he’s got a good Goldberg-style thing going except even he’s far better than Goldberg ever was. The title validating that could make him pretty hot, but the slow build for this isn’t a bad idea. I still think Cena vs. Batista is the Wrestlemania plan, so Batista can come back and take the belt after Jericho and Michaels properly blows off, likely with a Hell in a Cell, Three Stages of Hell, or something along those lines.

Match 4: Big Show defeats the Undertaker via Ref Stoppage for using the knockout punch

Wheeler’s Take: In the pantheon of unexpected finishes, this was certainly a big one. Get it? Big one? Big Show? He’s big. It works. I didn’t expect this to have a finish, but it did. Every once in a while, ‘Taker will lay down for someone to give them cred. Remember when he laid down for Khali? Yeah, something tells me Undertaker will get this win back. Show still has nothing to do and Taker still has nothing to do, so why not continue the feud. There was no pinfall and no submission and a KO really doesn’t seem too definitive. Maybe we get a last man standing? Maybe we get a casket match? Show can continue as Vickie’s protector for a few more weeks until Edge makes his triumphant return, and Undertaker can always afford to take one loss since he gets them back tenfold. These two guys are the Rey/Kane of Smackdown, filling in a feud until something better opens up.

Glazers’ Take: This win is to allow Edge to return in another slot. If he’s really ready now, then Taker needs to be otherwise occupied so he doesn’t go right after him. Being knocked to hell by Big Show is a good way to accomplish that. Show is always bought as a threat in the evil crusher role when he doesn’t talk too much, so why not run with that? Taker will, naturally get his revenge, but took a good enough beating so he can disappear for a bit to let his leg heal while show mocks him.

Match 5: WWE Title Match: Triple H defeats Jeff Hardy via Roll Up after taking both of Jeff’s Finishers

Wheeler’s Take: Hunter/Hardy deserved a bigger show than No Mercy, and by giving this a slightly cop-out yet still clean finish, the WWE didn’t damage either guy too much and allows for the chance to set up a true big money feud down the line…maybe even at the Royal Rumble. Yes, Hunter took two of Jeff’s finishing moves, but Jeff never succumbed to the Pedigree. He was “so close” which means he can move on to feud with whoever for the next few months and jump up to the title whenever he wants. Hunter can move on to Koslov and Jeff can latch on to anyone else on the roster. Hunter is still the face of the show and will continue until he drops the gold to maybe Koslov (which would be a massive shift) or maybe to the returning Edge. If Edge comes back, beats Hunter and then feuds with Hardy, we could get a ton of fresh matches. By splitting Jeff from Hunter, we get a World Title match at the next show and elevate anyone who faces Jeff to a higher level. That was the goal of this match and it worked. They walked in main eventers and walked out main eventers.

Glazers’ Take: Andy is far more generous than I with how Jeff comes out looking. Triple H didn’t even need the Pedigree to pin him! He’s dangerously close to JBL territory here (though a more positive comparison would be Jake Roberts in the 80s), but the kids adore him, so he’ll feud with either Edge or Koslov, putting a guy WWE sees as a major player (the heel involved) over to be strong for Hunter. I’d guess Koslov puts over Triple H now, since he pretty clearly isn’t ready and is elevated just for being that high up the card, while Edge returns to beat Jeff, leaving a collision course with Triple H around Wrestlemania that would seem much cooler if not for Night of the Champions.

Match 6: World Heavyweight Title Match: Chris Jericho defeats Shawn Michaels in an Amazing Ladder Match

Wheeler’s Take: Jericho needed to win that match and thankfully he did. Chris Jericho as the dominant heel champion is exactly what Raw needs right now, and by beating Shawn in this match, he not only ended a long-standing feud, but also had his coming out party as “the man” on Raw. Chris can move on to Batista and then maybe this new tweener Orton, or even save himself for Cena. Michaels, now free from Jericho, can move on to the teacher/pupil feud with Lance Cade and establish that kid as another upper card guy. The match didn’t taint either guy as Shawn is still strong and Jericho is now sitting on top of the world. We are now about to get a whole bunch of new main event feuds thanks to this result, and fresh matches on raw is something we’ve been begging for after the Cena era.

Glazers’ Take: Again, I really don’t think this is it for this feud, merely a hiatus so Michaels can work with Cade a bit. When they’re ready to take the title off Jericho, then Michaels and Jericho will restart over blood again, not belts. Jericho can work with Batista for a bit. If we’re building to Batista vs. Cena at Wrestlemania, this will go for a bit and Jericho vs. HBK can re-kick in at around the Royal Rumble just in time to steal Wrestlemania.

The Smarkish Raw Ranty Short Review Thing for Raw, 10/6/08

We’re live from Seattle.

Chris Jericho gets the open again this week to huge heel heat. GM Mike Adamle won’t be at Raw so Jericho is in charge. He notes that though he won, Shawn Michaels disfigured him and shows his broken tooth. Chris makes Michaels vs. Cade, No DQ on Raw tonight. Jericho says he’s the best, so Batista comes out to ask how long until he gets his World Title match. Jericho says not today, but he’ll make sure Batista is synonymous with failure. He tells Batista to leave. Big Dave laughs it off and hits the champion with a spinebuster. I’m smelling a handicap match in Dave’s immediate future.

We return from break with Jericho stating that Batista will put his number one contender status on the line against NotStanHansen… again… with special guest referee Jericho.

William Regal and Layla are at ringside.

Match 1: Mickie James and Jaime Noble vs. Santino Marella and Beth Phoenix

Santino is trying to be more American since he’s been called too ethnic. He’s a fan of the Oklahama City Thunder… who are the former Seattle Supersonics. Ouch.

A decent, fast back and forth goes nowhere as Santino quickly rolls up Noble upon a distraction.

Santino and Mickie defeat GlaMarella (Pin, Roll up, ½ *)

Noble goes after Santino post match, but ends up brawling with Regal.

Shawn Michaels cuts a rather intense promo about Cade doing Jericho’s dirty work.

Match 2: Kofi Kingston vs. Ted Dibiase, Jr. with Cody Rhodes and Manu

CM Punk comes out to watch Kofi’s back.

Kofi dominates, but interference distracts him and Dibiase gets the Million Dollar legsweep.

Dibiase defeats Punk (Pin, Million Dollar Legsweep, *)
I wish they didn’t do basically the same finish to two matches in a row.

Chris Jericho and Randy Orton have a discussion about making sure Batista isn’t #1 Contender.

A video package on Batista breaking Cena’s neck airs. This smells of a Cena heel turn.

Dolph Ziggler tries to introduce himself to Kane and Mark Henry, but gets scared, so he introduces himself to Tony Atlas instead who gives him a dirty look and walks away.

Match 3: Kane and Mark Henry with Tony Atlas vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. and Matt Hardy

The faces use double teams to go “toe-to-toe with the monsters” (thanks Cole) until commercial break.

We return toa long beatdown of Rey, before a final hot tag by Matt who uses speed to take it to both of his opponents, setting Kane up for the 619. Rey tries a ‘Rana to the floor on Henry, while Matt goes up top. Henry throws Rey to the ropes and Hardy falls, getting chokeslammed for the loss.

Kane and Mark Henry defeat Kane and Matt Hard (Pin, Chokeslam, * ½)
More or less acceptable match for the kids, but really, not too much here.

Match 4: Shawn Michaels vs. Lance Cade

In this match, a weakened Shawn takes a beatdown. He get the sit out Rock Bottom through a table and Cade continues the beating. Shawn then gets a chair and beats Cade into a puddle with it. HBK wins!

Shawn Michaels defeats Lance Cade (Pin, Chair Beating, ** ½)
That was fun!

Michaels does some more ass-whooping post match. Told you Michaels vs. Jericho wasn’t done Wheeler!

Jerry Lawler is in the ring talking about fans choosing Santino’s opponent for Cyber Sunday. It’s Honky Tonk Man, Roddy Piper, or Goldust. Vote Honky!

The Great Khali is out. They show video of Johnny Knoxville asking him about his penis. Oh, comedy. Khali gets annoyed, so people say he has no sense of fun. He proves he has a sense of fun and hosts the kiss cam. He then grabs and kisses Lillian Garcia. Yup. Someone needs to hit this episode of Raw with a car battery or some shark nunchucks.

The Miz and John Morrison decide to do commentary.

Cryme Tyme decide to do commentary too.

Match 5: Kelly Kelly vs. Jillian Hall

They all talk over each other and their cracks are… terrible. They’re annoying me to the point I can’t concentrate on the bad wrestling! Knock it off guys! Kelly wins with a role up.

Kelly Kelly defeats Jillian Hall (Pin, Roll Up, No Rating)
What in the blue hell was that?

Match 6: Batista vs. NotStanHansen with special guest referee Chris Jericho with time keeper William Regal and special guest commentator Randy Orton

Batista dominates the majority while Jericho cheats at every turn. This is getting great heat. Jericho goes to hold back JBL until Regal beats him down properly and JBL controls some more. Batista eventually beats on everyone and even spears Jericho. Adamle turns up to send Mike Chioda to be referee. Batista then dominates, hits the Batista bomb and wins.

Batista defeats NSH (Pin, Batista bomb, **)
The deck being so stacked just guaranteed that this would happen.

Adamle announced Jericho vs. Batista at Cyber Sunday and the fans vote for the special referee between Randy Orton, Shawn Michaels, and Stone Cold Steve Austin.

That Raw was pretty terrible. Vote Orton to screw with the WWE’s plans please.

The Middle W

This isn’t a reference to our soon to be ex-President, but rather the Wrestling in World Wrestling Entertainment. Jim Cornette once said “Wrestling fans tune into a wrestling show to watch wrestlers wrestle.” For me, at the very least, this is certainly the case and I watch a ton of wrestling from all around the world. Each week I’ll be attempting to broaden WWE fans horizons with a review of a great match they might not have ever seen or even heard of.

This week, a special guest Middle W about Jushin Lyger, written by my good friend Okori of The Majesty of Wrestling blog. Do me a favor and check it out after the column!

Japanese Thunder: A Parable for the most important Jr. Heavyweight of the last 25 years.

In American pro-wrestling in the year 2008 the idea of a strong junior heavyweight division is either a joke (WWE), a tantalizing reminder of what could have been (TNA), or good but unfortunately not presented to the mainstream (ROH, IWA-MS, assorted NWA Indies). So when I mention that in Japan the weight class is treated with respect, and never frittered away for the purposes of making a big muscle-bound slug a new star, people seem to have a great dral of trouble with this concept. They tell me “But wait a minute. You mean those little guys get a chance to do what they do best without being overrun by Triple H every 60 seconds?” Yes actually, and a great deal of credit for this mindset staying true over the last 25 years goes to one man and one company. The man is Jushin “Thunder” Liger, and the company is New Japan Pro Wrestling.

To understand the brilliance of Liger, and how he directly or indirectly influenced pretty much every lighter-weight (and a few of the heavyweights too) guy you see on TV right now, you need to go back a good way. See when the character was created, a sly nod to the anime of the same name just as Tiger Mask had been, it was assumed that New Japan was simply trying to catch lightning in the bottle with another wildly popular children’s hero just as Tiger Mask had been for them in the early 1980’s. And the hope was that this time, unlike the 1st Tiger Mask Satoru Sayama who left in a huff over the direction of the company, that the man behind the Liger myth would stay for a good long while. So they had to pick the right guy, a hungry young guy who would do what was needed to keep the character alive and who wouldn’t run in a huff and force them to extend the gimmick back to someone else as they had done with Tiger Mask after the original left in a fit of pique. So who did they pick?

Keichi Yamada, a guy who they had sent away for being too small, and got pissed off enough about it to go to Mexico on his own dime and learn while almost starving in the attempt. And while New Japan figured bringing him back in was a good idea they never figured how good of an idea it would end up being. And after he won the company’s Junior Heavyweight Title in a war against the salty veteran Naoki Sano he embarked on one of the longest and most consistent runs in the history of puroresu.

But on this run he would have help from his home promotion, New Japan Pro Wrestling, who saw him and his rivals the chance to build a marked difference from their promotional rival All Japan Pro Wrestling. And, largely, it worked. The best way to explain this is that All Japan is known for the 4 Corners of Heaven heavyweight unit of the 90’s which any puroresu fan worth his or her salt can name in a moment: Toshiaki Kawada, Kenta Kobashi, Mitsuharu Misawa, and Akira Taue. And each one of them had their own distinct personality traits meaning that fans could identify with the intensity of Kobashi, the coolness under fire and grace of Misawa, the unlucky and rough-hewn Kawada, and the dynamism of Akira Taue. Conversely the juniors of the 90’s get the same treatment although not nearly as snappy a nickname: Koji Kanemoto who is the surly veteran, the superhero in Jushin “Thunder” Liger, the graceful and perfectly skilled Minoru Tanaka, the evil Shinjiro Otani, the masked supervillain Black Tiger, and so on. But if you asked a puroresu fan to try and ascertain who were the All Japan juniors during the same period you’d get several seconds of deep blinking and then this: “They had junior heavyweights in All Japan?” To be sure they did, and some of them were talented, but there is in no way the same mythos surrounding them as does the New Japan Juniors.

New Japan understood, clearly where All Japan didn’t, that you could have a strong junior heavyweight division and it could be to the benefit of the company and not to its detriment. So when the top guys started to slow down new guys could come in and be accepted by the fans, as Wataru Inoue and Ryusuke Taguchi were, without fear that the promotion’s momentum would stop dead in its tracks.

But back to Liger. Liger’s brilliance is that even now, far past his prime, he is still finding ways to have matches on par with at least some of his best work and his name still means as much as anyone does. If you have never seen Liger at all, including his prime in America with WCW, go out of your way to do it. It’s worth it.

Click Here and scroll downfor a few Lyger matches.

Glazer is a former senior editor at Pulse Wrestling and editor and reviewer at The Comics Nexus.