Samoa Joe (c) vs. Sting
Pulse Glazer: This is the start of Glazer Week. This goes up Sunday and I’ll have a column or feature up every day until Friday so check back. I’d say it’s for all the fall out from this PPV, but… lets be real. In honor of my own personal holiday week, however, I will be entirely nice and positive about everything on this card from here on out! See what I do for you people… and myself?
Joe is the future of TNA while Sting believes he lacks respect and wants to beat it into him. He’s beaten no one for this shot, but that’s being overlooked because, well, he’s Sting. If they’re serious about no rematch, then Joe really should win. He’s the biggest home-made star on the biggest show. Sting can beat the living hell out of Joe post-match to make the no re-match stipulation really burn. This is how I’d book, however, not what I expect.
I expect, for the “moment,†the “icon†Sting to take the title. The Chicago crowd will very likely know Sting more than Joe and since Sting hasn’t been definitively turned heel, they can either go moment or do the heel turn here. That’d lead to AJ, who’s more exciting and less damaged getting the title shot next month.
Winner – By hook or by crook, Sting.
Danny Cox: {Backstage in the production area} “Hey, did anyone let Joe know he was retaining tonight? No? Did you? How bout you? No? Crap, alright! Well, it’s time for another Sting run anyway…it’s been close to a year or so. On with the show!”
Winner and NEW Champ – Steve Borden
Brad Curran: I still sort of want to see this match, even if it will never be as good as it is in my head. The “no rematch” stip at least suggests Joe getting screwed out of the belt and chasing Sting, except that would require Sting stick around for longer than two months at a time to pay that off. Well, that’s what I get out of it. I don’t really know here; I’d think they stay with Joe and either turn him heel or shuffle Sting off the stage again, but Sting winning the title is becoming a really lame annual event at this show.
Winner- Joe, maybe? I’ll say Joe
David Brashear: The one thing that will determine how this match goes will be whether Sting has signed a new contract or not. I’ll go with Sting winning and Joe finally getting the payback win later down the road.
Winner – Sting
Guest Referee Mick Foley
Danny Cox: Even Foley can’t make me care about this crap.
Winner – Kurt Angle
Brad Curran- My swervey-sense can foretell Mick screwing the Js and hooking up with the other WWE Exiles. But since he isn’t going to be around much, and Jarrett is booking and is the inspirational baby face, I’ll go with the Js.
Winner- Jarrett
David Brashear: Some time ago, Jeff Jarrett said that he wanted his last run in wrestling to be as the top babyface in the company. I’d say this is the beginning of that. Jarrett winds up losing to Angle in a controversial finish, and we’ve got a feud to cover a few months before Jarrett finally gets the clean win in the end.
Winner – Kurt Angle
Pulse Glazer: Angle is the ungrateful wretch while Jarrett is the entrepreneur who gave Kurt a chance and saved his life. I can see why I’m meant to get behind Jeff, but, even more, why I’m supposed to hate Kurt. He’s a complete prick. Jeff is quite old and not the very best even in his prime. Kurt is well past his prime and broken down as well. The match won’t be great, but the heat should be. Foley’s presence here is a mild curve, because, at first, he seemed set to face Angle. I’d guess that Kurt wins and overdoes it a bit, leading to Kurt vs. Mick down the line since that’s the biggest match TNA can run, assuming they want big money.
Winner – Kurt Angle
Brad Curran: This is all about who Christian sides with. Since he’s kind of boring as a face and works beautifully with Joe, I say he chooses the Thousandare’s Club and gives Booker the win.
Winner- Booker and his amazing shifting accents
David Brashear: For months now Christian has needed something to put him back into the spotlight. Of course, to be fair that’s something that could be said about all three men in this match. Maybe a heel turn (that coincidentally gives the win to Booker) will do it for Christian.
Winner – Booker T
Pulse Glazer – Cage is a tweener in this New Blood vs. Old School angle, while Booker is the heel and AJ the face. Cage has made such a big deal about not choosing sides here, there’s almost no way he isn’t turning on AJ. I wish Booker wasn’t added here, as Cage vs. AJ would have stolen the show, but this should be fine. Booker being present makes Cage more likely to turn and really set this angle into high gear, but being the biggest show, so as to not bury AJ, Styles defying the odds then taking the beatdown would be far cooler… besides a face needs to win somewhere.
Winner – AJ Styles
Danny Cox: Oooooooooooo tension! Christian is 100 times better as a heel, and even then he looks bored stiff in TNA. This whole match is going to focus on whether he goes with AJ or Booker and not what’s going on in the ring. I say heel as he turns on AJ and walks out.
Winner – Booker T
TNA World Tag Team Titles
Beer Money Inc. (c) vs. Team 3D vs. The Latin American Xchange vs. Abyss/Matt Morgan
Guest Referee Steve “Mongo” McMichael
David Brashear: Mongo? They needed a guest ref and the best they could find was Mongo? Argh.
Anyway, let’s do the rundown here. Team 3D are beyond stale and LAX’s last run didn’t exactly set the world on fire. While Storm and Roode are doing okay as champs, I’m still not big on seeing them lose the belts just yet. Especially since Abyss and Matt Morgan just seem to be on a timer until one of them throws the other through a barber shop window (if you know what I mean). Still, if the belts have to change hands, I’d rather see them go back to LAX.
Winners – LAX
Pulse Glazer: Mongo is just here because he’s from Chicago. These teams are all good at this kind of match. 3-D has had numerous hardcore classics, as have Homicide, Abyss, and James Storm. That leaves Roode, Morgan and Hernandez to cover for. With so many other top notch guys, with some good camerawork, that shouldn’t be an issue. No one is elevated from changing the title in a match like this, so Beer Money should win, but I have a feeling this night’s going to be about setting up the heel stable, so 3-D win instead.
Winners- Team 3-D
Danny Cox: Seriously, who gives a shit about Mongo anymore? Actually, who gave a shit about Mongo in WCW and the bastard was in the friggin Horsemen for God sakes? I’m throwing out Rick Rude and Scott Hall from keeping the straps and also eliminating LAX right off the bat. I sincerely hope the Duds don’t win it, but not like stupid-looking and talking new Abyss and stuttering Matt Morgan rock my boat either. This is a mess.
Winners and NEW Champs – The Blue Abyss…Print
Brad Curran- Jeez, what a mess. Not that these matches are ever technical masterpieces, but when they’re four guys, they can be fun brawls. I don’t see this working with eight guys. As for the outcome, LAX and Morgan/Abyss both have decent storylines that could payoff here, maybe at the same time. Beer Money’s a relatively hot act. 3D are willing to put people over and can still brawl okay. I’ll flip a coin and go with LAX, since they could use a win.
Winner- LAX
Sheik Abdul Bashir (c) vs. Consequences Creed
Pulse Glazer: The all American Creed takes out the foreign heel at a time when the nation seems in peril. Sounds good? Hopefully Daivari can lead Creed to a match that makes it worthwhile. Lethal would be amazing in Creed’s underdog role here and would have the crowd in the palm of his hand. This is where Creed earns his check.
Winner – Creed
Danny Cox: ADRIAN! If he dies, dies. I didn’t hear no bell, get up you sunuva bitch! Hey, yo Paulie! THROW THE TOWEL MAN! Enough Rocky references for you?
Winner and NEW Champ – Apollo Creed
Brad Curran- They’ve been trying to build Creed up, between all his title matches and those Rough Cut vignettes. The problem is he is just not very good at this point. He’s too green to deserve this spot. But it seems like they have it in their heads that this will be a very inspirational win if he goes over. This is another coin flip, really; I can totally see Daivari going over too.
Winner- Consequences Creed
David Brashear: I don’t think that Creed’s ready for a run with the title yet. Plus, I’ve had title changes in every match thus far and I don’t think we’ll see every belt change hands. I’m going to have to go with Bashir here.
Winner – Daivari
Taylor Wilde (c) vs. Awesome Kong vs. Roxxi
Danny Cox: Taylor Wilde has made people STOP caring about the women’s division. Kong has had her run as the unstoppable beast. Roxxi works her ass off.
Winner and NEW Champ – Roxxi
Brad Curran: Of the three of them, I find Kong the least objectionable. Taylor is solid in the ring but boring. Roxxi has developed a unique look but is boring in the ring. So, I want Kong to win by default. As for who will? Again, I have no idea where they’re going with this, and don’t care too much. I’ll say Roxxi, even if I don’t think that will work at all.
Winner- Roxxi
David Brashear: Much as I’d love to see the belt head back to Kong here, I don’t think that another run with her as the unstoppable force would be the right move. The women’s division needs to move forward – not look back. Of course, in my humble opinion we should see one the Beautiful People wind up with the title. Since that’s not going to happen, I think that it’s time for the belt to move.
Winner – Roxxi
Pulse Glazer: The Knockouts division has gone downhill a bit since Wilde took the belt. Sure that coincides with D’Amore leaving the book, but I doubt TNA realizes that. Wilde shouldn’t lose here; the Beautiful People could get amazing heat by taking the belt, but it looks like Kong gets it back to go back to what was successful.
Winner – Kong
Steel Asylum match
(Unnamed X-Division wrestlers)
Danny Cox: Who will win isn’t who SHOULD win…coughALEXSHELLEYcough!
Winner – Curry Man
Brad Curran- Seriously? They didn’t even give us names? Not even a hint? I mean, there are like six other guys in the X-Division these days beyond the two in the title match, but still. This is why I can’t even try to try and care about them. I’ll try to try to try and pick Jay Lethal to escape the hamster cage of death, assuming he is in the match. Although really, he has as good a chance as any other unnamed X-Division wrestler.
Winner- Jay Lethal, if he is in the match.
David Brashear: Talk about random. Let’s see – we’ve got the Machine Guns, Curry Man, Eric Young, Jay Lethal, Jimmy Rave, Johnny Devine, Petey Williams, Shark Boy, and Sonjay Dutt who haven’t shown up on the card. The Guns are reportedly in the dog house, so they’re out. Dutt and Lethal will probably keep each other from winning. Out of the others, Curry Man’s probably the most over, so I’ll go with him.
Winner – Curry Man
Pulse Glazer: Wait, really? Well, let’s guess- Murder City Machine Guns, Lethal, Dutt, Petey Williams… who else even is there nowadays? Rave, the Prince Justice Brotherhood? I’d guess Lethal here to regain some heat, but I want to predict something cool instead. Chris Daniels returning to TNA in his hometown of Chicago would be a great, great moment, especially with him taking the win and going back to the X-Division to return prestige to it.
Winner- Daniels.
Guest Referee Tracy Brooks
Brad Curran- This is just there to make sure everyone who’s a regular is on the card. And maybe one of the blondes goes through a table, I guess. I’ll say Rhino fulfills his meager promise this year and gores himself some whores (hey, his words from Impact) for the pop that will always get.
Winner- Rhino, Rhaka Khan, and ODB (Does anyone else find slight amusement from the fact that everyone in Scott Steiner’s posse but Scott Steiner has a match at this show?)
David Brashear – Gotta give this one to Rhino, Rhaka, and ODB. The Beautiful People are great, but I think they’re simply going to be overpowered here.
Winners – Rhino, Rhaka, and ODB
Pulse Glazer: Khan is being pushed and Rhino took the pin on Impact. Khan gets revenge tonight. Hope she can work!
Winner – Khan, ODB and Rhino
Danny Cox: Cuz Rhaka Khan being in there really make sense after ODB randomly picked her for a partner. Sorry this is what you’ve been reduced to Rhino!
Winner – Giant Bitchy Horned People
