Desperate Housewives – Episode 5-3 Review

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They’re right… Kids aren’t like everyone else… on Wisteria Lane they’re all around the same age, but look older or younger!?

So the main problem tonight was MJ being bullied by Juanita Solis. I don’t blame the boy for being scared of the girl who looks like ‘she could take down a small deer!’

I think that the fat children jokes were taken a bit far with Susan saying she’ll pay for the dent where Juanita fell over!

I’ve been looking forward to the deliciously devilish Van de Kamp/Hodge/Katz family reunion for ages! Danielle looked fantastic but clearly hadn’t lost any of her Miss Van de Tramp charm! But come on… Danielle home schooling Benjamin… didn’t she go to ‘party’ college in Miami… did she learn anything?? But I did think it was out of character for Bree to give Ben that hot dog! The ‘old Bree’ wouldn’t have done that… but a lot can happen in 5 years… as we keep getting told…

But I loved seeing a typical Bree dinner party. Flash forward 5 years?! More like flash back 50! Bree looking everybit of her nearly 50 age, commenting on the fact that she is so happy to see all her family under the same roof. So who else is at dinner: Edie, Dave, Karen and Katherine!?

Hmmm…what a random bunch! But everyone was put off their meals by Ben barfing up his 2 hot dogs! Cue Orson getting into ANOTHER mood…. and blaming Bree for letting Ben go.

While Danielle was busy cleaning up sick, Andrew was selling a heap of junk to the Solises. They had to sell their last ‘nice’ thing: their Aston Martin, and downtrade for a lemon! But Gabby sees through his little plan and eventually blackmails Andrew into giving her money back!

It’s official!
Tom IS going through a midlife crisis!!
Red convertible sports car: Check
Rebel sons who he thinks are cool: Check
Trashy garage band: CHECK!!

Lynette was not loving the idea though, reminding him that he owns a pizza place (which we’ve barely seen) and is a father (to kids who we barely see!) But every Desperate Housewives fan knows that Tom and Mike like to rock out once in a while…. err… hello?! We’ve NEVER seen that on the show…. now they’re just making up old storylines that fans know never happened!!

Two pointless scenes for me tonight: Susan and Gabby fighting and Katherine and Karen having lunch with Edie.

Susan and Gabby having a ridiculous little fight outside Bob and Lee’s house was the silliest (and not in a good way) scene I’ve seen in ages!

And what did we learn from Dave this episode? He didn’t go to college, his dad had a drinking problem, he used to have a s-s-stammer and his grandmother had dementia. Hence the reason he thinks Karen might have it… or is he trying to confuse her and everyone else?? What does he have against her?? But we do know that he’s a bully…

Remember everyone… keep being desperate!!

Scott Chapman is a student from the UK with an unnatural obsession with Desperate Housewives!