<!– /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:””; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:”Times New Roman”; mso-fareast-font-family:”Times New Roman”;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} –>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:”Table Normal”;
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:””;
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
Oh noes! One of the Divorcees is startin’ drama over someone throwing her sports bra out the window. This is coming from the team who can’t read, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she dropped it herself and forgot. Ken and Tina get their clue at 12:51am, and the next destination is La Paz, Bolivia. Teams need to find the statue of Simon Bolivar, and then scour the newspaper in the morning for their next clue.
Apparently it only now clicked in Sarah’s head that this is a <i>race</i>, not a “make new friends” expedition. Get on the program! The Divorcees say how they have their own method of comic relief where they don’t get mad at each other, where I think they are the comic relief because its fun to laugh at people who can’t read. I want to see an all-girl team win for once, but every season the all-girl teams are morons. Damn.
The altitude is crazy high in Bolivia, which concerns my Team Geek because they’re not in good shape. I have a bad feeling about this episode. There’s no airplane drama today, and I laugh because everyone gets to the statue way before the papers are delivered – so everyone’s on the same level now. Once the truck arrives, the teams pounce like starving lions on a crippled antelope.
Team Superbad is first, and they must find the Narvaez Hat Shop and buy a traditional hat. Ken/Tina are right behind them, and a handful of teams find the clue shortly afterwards. Superbad and Terrance/Sarah are the first to reach the shop – and its Detour time! The choices are: Music March – which involves finding musicians in one plaza, then marching to this other plaza to get their next clue, or Bumpy Ride – which involves riding wooden bikes down a cobblestone path to the same plaza. Considering I have problems riding a normal bike, and I’m a proud band geek, it’d be Music March for me! Teams are cautioned that there’s a U-Turn ahead – which means teams have the option to make another team go back and do the other option of the Detour.
Superbad and Terrance/Sarah choose the March, while Team Geek goes for Bumpy Ride. OH COME ON! You complain earlier about the altitude and breathing, then you go decide to ride rickety bikes – use your Geek powers, seriously! Ken/Tina, Aja/Ty, and *shockingly* The Divorcees <i>read</i> the clue which says “make your way on foot”. You know what this means… someone screwed up. Sure enough, Terrance/Sarah and Team Geek have already jumped into taxis. You’re letting me down, boys! At least Sarah realized they made a goof, and they have the taxi turn around.
Bald Geek nearly runs into a car, and I really want to see someone cause a wipeout. Toni’s having problems breathing, and a Divorcee nearly misses a tree. Team Geek finishes first, decides not to U-Turn anyone, and are now headed to Los Titanas del Ring. Team Superbad is pissed their band members are moving slowly, and they get passed by the Blondes. I am a sad panda because there is no Tenor Sax player in their bands. Aja/Ty, Nick/Star, and the Divorcees are in a close race on the bikes. Nick/Starr ask Aja/Ty to U-Turn the Divorcees because they wouldn’t U-Turn them, while one of the Divorcees spectacularly wipes out on the sidewalk! Everyone’s too nice this round, and nobody gets U-Turned.
Ken/Tina pass Team Geek, who had to stop for gas, and are first to get the next clue – and it’s a Road Block! Teams must learn six wrestling moves from a Fighting Cholita, then they must try not to get their asses kicked by the girl and execute the six moves correctly in a ring. They screw up, they must train again. Ken, a blonde, and Mark(Bald Geek) go in for their teams. Blondie looks retarded, Baldie looks like a big doofus, while Ken goes in first and keeps their lead. Time to head to the Pit Stop at Mirador El Monticulo.
Aja/Ty get a setback when their taxi dies – while Dallas, Sarah, and Nick start training. Once they arrive, McLovin and Ty choose to go for their teams. Mark runs around the ring, but gets caught up in the ropes during his re-entry and fails. Blondie fails, while Nick (in a scary, yellow spandex suit) succeeds and moves up into 2nd place. Sarah goes in and fails, while Mark nearly passes out in the training ring and needs oxygen. Oh crap. McLovin gets 3rd, followed by Nick and Ty. Mark goes in for his second try, does something wrong again and has to re-train. They can’t catch a break. To quote Team Geek from last episode – let the fat boys have one!
Ken/Tina arrive at the Pit Stop first, and that lady has a hell of a headdress on. Back in the ring, both Marissa and Mark are finally successful! Mark says he’s finally a luchador, while I think the more accurate term would be ‘luchadork’. Sarah is the 8th to finish, leaving the Divorcees in last.
Toni/Dallas come in second, and there is a crazy taxi race between all the rest of the teams. Terrance/Sarah emerge in 3rd, with the Blondes right behind in 4th. The Geeks <i>just</i> realize they’re pretty much fucked right now because they took a taxi earlier. Meanwhile, teams that read are pulling ahead – Aja/Ty in 5th, Nick/Starr in 6th, and Team Superbad in 7th.
As expected, the Geeks come in 8th – but must sit out a 30 minute time penalty for being idiots and not reading the clue. On a random note – I swear that Mark has the same hat that my dad does, his “squishy buffalo” hat. The two of them kinda look alike too. This allows the Divorcees, worried they were going to be send home, to take the 8th spot and be saved. Next week doesn’t look good for me either, as Aja/Ty start getting cranky from actually spending time together. Can the skinny redhead get one next round?
Kiera Vallone hails from Long Island, NY. She is currently a junior-year Journalism student at SUNY Purchase.
