Murtz: Brooke, Brooke, Brooke. I totally missed you! And I am going to miss you in Houston next week when I make my first celebrity appearance at Jolanda’s Survivor event. Say it isn’t so. Why are you avoiding me? And since I have you here, I need you to answer something for me. How is it possible for Michelle, Paloma, and Jacquie to all be voted off before the merge? What is wrong with these Survivor Gabon players?!
Brooke: Some things in life must remain a mystery Murtz… But, it is strange how similar this season has been to Guatemala (Morgan, then Brianna, then me.) Why can’t us younger women get any love in the game of Survivor? Jacquie’s vote off gave me flashbacks! Same thing: Episode 4 tribal shuffle, lose your entire alliance to the other side, then head to tribal council within 24 hours, which is not nearly sufficient time to persuade your new team to keep you. Life just isn’t fair sometimes.
Murtz: Brooke, that might just be my favorite line of yours ever! Hahaha. I love how you slyly complimented yourself there. “It’s just like Guatemala with the young *cough* hot girls leaving early.” I am totally laughing. For real! Actually, what happened to Jacquie is not only similar to what happened to you, but also what happened to Michelle. It’s for this reason that I think that twists in Survivor should be eliminated completely. They completely ruin the integrity of the game. And you didn’t answer my question. Why aren’t you coming to Houston next week? Oh, and I guess we should talk about GC too. I guess we have another quitter on our hands huh?
Brooke: First off, you never said the word “hot” in connection with your list off disappointing vote-offs this season, so I wasn’t implying anything of the sort :). Just “young” and “women”. ;) But I agree, down with unfair twists that screw otherwise deserving players! It’s these sort of events that leave the GCs of the game in play. I can’t tell you how frustrating it was to hear him complain at tribal council that Survivor is as miserable as his rough upbringing. Puh-lease. Survivor is the chance to travel to an exotic location to compete for one million dollars, or, in the alternative, a chance to travel with the losers on a mini-vacation. Boo-hoo. Anyone who complains about that is not worthy of competing. ::Note that I am unsuccessfully avoiding the painful subject of Houston. My work schedule interfered with the trip and I’m sad to be missing the chance to see you and Eliza.::
Murtz: Haha. You’re such a lawyer. Always cross-examining me on every word! And you totally know I meant hot. And you are totally right. It really sucks that somebody who really wanted to play has to leave when guys like GC get to stay and then just quit the following week. I totally agree with you. There’s no excuse for GC to say that it he was having a hard time. He knew what he was signing up for. And there are many out there who would cut off a limb to get the play the greatest game in the world. GC took a spot away from somebody who really wanted to be there (*cough* me *cough*). Haha. I am just giving you a hard time Brooke! I just really wanted to see you. I don’t know when we will get the chance again. Now, there are two pertinent questions that I must ask you. I am really conflicted about which blonde should get my undying devotion from this season. I know Jacquie is gone so that makes things easier. Now should I just root for Kelly by default? Secondly, since Eliza and I won’t be here next week… who is going to handle the greatest column in the world?
Brooke: Your questions are too easy Murtz! According to the Survivor “Hierarchy of Blondes” Kelly is next in line for your devotion. The blondes are dropping liking flies though! The dynasty may be completely wiped out within the next couple episodes. As for next week… how about Michelle, Jaime, and I take over for once? You can trust us with it! ::wink, wink:: And that will give us practice for running the column when you make it onto the first Survivor to include Canadians.
Brooke: Finally I get my turn with you Murtz! Did you miss me?
THIS WEEK’S BEST PLAYER
ACE
Brooke: Though I’m not a fan of Ace’s cockiness, at least he has a basis for his arrogance. He was unstoppable at the reward challenge, knocking out every single piece of fruit tossed at him until Marcus directed Dan to start throwing two at a time. He’s also been strategically smart (except for allowing Sugar to leave the idol laying around camp in her bag) and seems to adapt well to the different personality types of his tribe members (with the exception of Kelly.) Ace needs to send a thank you letter to GC for bowing out of the game right when Sugar was going to be put on the chopping block! Am I right Murtz?
Murtz: Ace is my favorite player in Survivor Gabon. I liked him before the season even started and he totally fits the mold of my favorite players of all time. He is cocky, funny, has one hot female ally and tells everybody what to do. Remind you of anyone? Yes, that’s right. Boston Rob. I think that Ace is tremendously entertaining and I know a lot of people say that he isn’t a good player because of his arrogance, but this week proved that he can keep it in check when he needs to. Instead of showing his hand early and trying to get one of the original Fangers to swing over to his side, he kept his head down and told Sugar to do the same thing, realizing that the Fangers would “implode” as he said himself. Sure enough, he was right. GC basically quit, giving Ace and Sugar one more week and one less original Fang member to combat. In addition to this, Ace is also the muscle of his tribe. Along with Matty, Ace is indispensible on a tribe that has no other physical assets and this has put him in a great position heading to the merge. At that point, he will have options to go back to original Kota, or use the weaker Fang members. I think you’re right Struckster. The only mistake Ace made was not telling Sugar to be more careful with the idol. But in his defense, he probably just assumed that she would be. Oops.
THIS WEEK’S WORST PLAYERS
SUGAR
Murtz: It was an awful week for Sugar. After doing so well for the first few episodes, she made a cardinal Survivor mistake in not hiding the hidden immunity idol and now, the entire Fang tribe knows that she has it. I am positive this will come into play the next episode and unless Sugar and her Sugardaddy Ace can figure out a way to still use it effectively, they are in big trouble. Personally, I think the only chance that they have is getting Matty to flip. Sugar could have made things a lot easier for herself if she had either kept her bag with her (although that might have looked weird), or if she hid the idol at camp right after she found it. Brooke, what do you think?
Brooke: Sweet Sugar. I had to roll my eyes when she told Ace that she “hid” the idol in her bag. Ummmm, isn’t that kind of like hiding your house key under your front door mat? That bonehead move may have sealed her fate in this game. If she really was a Survivor watcher prior to playing she’d know to hide the idol near camp and then leaver her bag out for the others to search so that they would be fooled into thinking she doesn’t have it. Now she’s got a huge bull’s eye on her back. I think you’re right Murtz, if Sugar doesn’t realize the Fang tribe is on to her then she is going to get blind-sided in the next episode. The second reason that Sugar made the worst list: she blew the immunity challenge by quietly letting Randy’s voice overpower her as he mis-lead Ace on the last round.
DAN
Murtz: I really have a hard time figuring Dan out and I think most of his tribe does as well. I think he showed his hand too early and while some can argue that he was simply trying to ingratiate himself into the good graces of his tribe with his whole ‘all for one and one for all’ solidarity speech, I agreed with Charlie when he said that it just came off as shady. On paper, Dan is probably the next to go. He is athletic, in a minority at Kota, and Randy clearly seems ready to switch sides. When he does, Dan’s fate is all but written.
Brooke: I somewhat disagree Murtz. I think Dan has done well trying to get his foot in the door with Kota. Although Charlie and Marcus mentioned that he was trying a little too hard, they did say that Suzie didn’t seem eager enough. I like Dan. I do think he’s struggling without strong alliance potential on either team, but, I think his athleticism will keep him around longer than Randy or Suzie.
CRYSTAL
Murtz: There is no doubt that Crystal was one of the worst players this week. Although GC basically quit the game, he was still a solid vote for Crystal and Ken. While some can argue that keeping GC was a major liability and I agree, the point is that he wasn’t a major liability for Crystal. He was no threat to her and by getting rid of one of their own members, Fang has now given a chance to Sugar and Ace to stay in the game. In Survivor, you have to keep your numbers, no matter how much you dislike the original members of your tribe. Crystal clearly didn’t read the Survivor handbook before she went out there. It sucks too because I actually thought Crystal was playing a decent game up to this point. She was totally in control. The situation reminds me a lot of Survivor Amazon, when Jenna Morasca and company didn’t want Shawna to leave even though she was sick. She knew they needed her vote. Similarly, Crystal should have known she needed GC’s. What do you think Struckster?
Brooke: You are so right Murtz. How could Crystal have decided to vote off GC before taking out the idol threat?! I wasn’t impressed with Crystal before (very lack luster showing in challenges thus far) but now I can complain about her strategic game too! Sugar is not in her alliance AND has the idol AND is aligned with one of the strongest players in the game, Ace. GC is the perfect person to keep because Crystal could have used him for a few more rounds, knowing he was no threat to her. (At this rate, there was no way GC was going to win the million.) I think Crystal’s mistake in voting GC off first is going to cost her later on.
BROOKE’S PICK
Best line of the night: “I’ve got Sugar in my pocket.” -Ace
“These people are just going to implode.” -Ace (talking about his fellow Fang members)
“I’ve suffered my whole life and I’m done suffering.” –GC (at Tribal Council)
MURTZ’S PICK
Best line of the night: “I haven’t even had the energy to smile the last couple of days.”
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