Leanne thinks it’s awesome that the finale is going to be all girls. I think it’s just a product of producers rigging the show. Tim comes in and tells the finalists that they will be sending 10 looks down the runway, so they must edit out two pieces.
We get a montage of the usual skinny bitches that need to eat a hamburger at the model casting. Korto tells us she wants girls with a lot of hair, so she can create big, Asian-style buns. Leanne wants the freaky looking ones, and complains about Kenley. Speaking of monsters – its Morganza from Season 1! If any of these girls watched that season, they’d be stupid to choose her. Granted, its only the finale as opposed to a whole season – but with the amount of drama Morgan managed to cause, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’d find some way to fuck things up.
Tim visits to check up on what the girls’ show will look like. Tim doesn’t like the rope on a short, retarded-looking dress of Kenley’s. He’s also getting on her case about Topacio wearing the wedding dress. Watching Tim’s facial expressions – he looks like he wants to smack some sense into her. Korto’s decided to nix her bridesmaid dress, and possibly the wedding dress too. Leanne has no clue at all what she’s doing, poor thing.
Korto’s decided to ax her wedding dress, along with two other dresses she felt were overworked – meaning homegirl’s got a lot of work ahead of her to make new pieces. Leanne and Kenley bring out the claws in their interviews. Kenley says Leanne’s stuff is boring, while Leanne thinks Kenley’s looks like a little kid’s art project. Duke it out, with Korto as ref, now!
The only note of amusement during the model fittings is when Leanne’s girl, Tia, comes in with her sad excuse for a dog (I hate toy dogs). Her dog takes a crap, then she goes to pick it up while wearing Leanne’s dress! Leanne tells the doggie to go poop on Kenley and Korto’s work instead.
Kenley tells us about how she snuck into the tents at Bryant Park last year, and got kicked out. I hope you get kicked out again this time, for being an annoying, copycat hack. She must also be a fan of Jerrell’s looks, as she’s wearing a friggin’ plant on her head. Did people wear plants on their heads in the 50s? Backstage, each finalist gets 3 assistants to help them out – Kenley goes “RAWR!” and doesn’t let anyone touch her stuff, as apparently she’s the only person in the world who knows how to iron painted fabric. I’m sure if one of them “accidently” burnt a dress, it’d be an improvement. Tia’s become the Amazing Shrinking Girl and her top doesn’t fit, so Leanne’s forced to put her in her long, blue dress and keep it up with pins and double-sided tape. Fashion tape is my friend – because unlike these models, I actually have boobies, and I don’t want my boobies popping out of strapless dresses.
Finally, its time for the runway show! Heidi comes out and introduces the judges – but wait, there’s an empty seat. J-Lo was supposed to be the guest judge, but hurt her foot, and her replacement is… Tim Gunn! This means, Kenley’s officially fucked and has no chance in winning. Ahhh, karma.
Kenley’s line is a succession on ‘WTF’ moments, and not in a good way. Her first dress is tacky, the green dress with crazy shoulders is ugly, and I don’t think skinny girls want to look like they have ginormo hips like in her 3rd piece. Her bridesmaid dress is okay, but the tulle explosion on the next dress isn’t that cute. Her black dress has a clean silhouette, but her next two pieces look like a 2nd-grader made them. She finishes off with her murdered-goose wedding dress.
Korto dedicates her line to her family, then saunters off the runway saying “Don’t I look hot?”. You look better than these skinny broads going down the runway, that’s for sure! Her first teal dress is simple and pretty, and the first of her new pieces is a typical boxy number. A green, short dress is next – and her model is definitely Bianca from Cycle 9 of America’s Next Top Model (she was in Chris March’s show last year, too). I like her white pants outfit, and the patterned dress after is cute too. The long, new dress looks sloppy, and it looks like the next green dress is modeled by another ANTM alum, Dani from Cycle 6. Like the white ruffle dress, yellow dress is okay, and I like the unique halter top on her finale piece. She should win because she’s got the cute kid factor going for her.
Leanne introduces her line in all her nerdy glory. Her first skirt is very well-constructed. The top on her next outfit is cute, but the next one is an aqua mess – what is up with the shoulders? Another finned skirt (this time, khaki), another finned skirt (but I like the corset-ish top), and more fins – this time on the collar of a jacket. Her next dress is okay, but I love the aqua, flowy dress on Tia – mainly because it’s not covered in fins. The cupcake wedding dress is the finale piece. Overall, Leanne’s line is well-made, but I got bored easily.
Kors thinks Kenley’s line was full of charm and liked her paintwork. However, she gets called out again for being a copycat – this time, it’s her floral tacky number. The judges like how Korto’s line reflects her heritage, but isn’t overwhelming. They also felt she shined when her pieces were simple, yet had a complicated edge. Nina liked the variety in Leanne’s line, but called her a one-note for her petals. Her work looked complicated, yet effortless.
No surprise, Kenley’s the first to get booted off the runway. She whines and cries about it, when she should just go learn about fashion. And our winner is… Leanne! Aww, I was kinda hoping Korto would get it – I think she showed the most variety. Then again, by this point of the season, I’d long ago stopped giving a crap.
Kiera Vallone hails from Long Island, NY. She is currently a junior-year journalism student at SUNY Purchase.
