Off the top, let’s get EXTREME!
Teddy Long, aka Ron Burgundy highlights what is on tap tonight. The Dirt Sheet is live and we have a huge six man tag team match! Oh, and stay classy San Diego. I’m a moron! HAHAHA!
DON’T QUESTION THE FIRE THAT BURNS INSIDE!
We’re live from San Diego, California and the best announce team in this business holds the fort. Our main event is our FIRST event tonight!
Evan Bourne, Finlay, & Matt Hardy v. Mark Henry, Chavo Guerrero, & Bam Neely
There’s some dissention between Chavo and Bam. Mark Henry sure looks hungry tonight. Chavo and Evan start things off tonight. They jockey for position and Chavo gets the first offensive move of the night. Evan gets a monkey flip while Chavo blocked the arm drag. He goes for the hip attack, Chavo counters, but Evan falls on top of him for two. In comes Finlay and he hits a running shoulder tackle. Headlock applied, but Chavo shoves him to the heel corner. In comes Bam Neely and Finlay takes it to Neely. Tag to Bourne and Bourne counters a high powerbomb and he sends Neely out of the ring. Suicide Senton connects and Evan lands on his ankle wrong. The referee separates the group as we go to break.
Commercials.
We’re back as Mark Henry gets tagged in. The heels focus on the ankle and Mark takes care of him. In comes Neely and he hits a spinebuster before locking a half Boston crab. Tag to Chavo and he jumps off, hitting the injured ankle. Evan tries to get a tag, but Chavo cuts him off in the past. Tag to Henry and he drops his weight on the ankle. He does it again and he wrenches the ankle for good measure. Chavo is in now and Bourne tries to fight back. He gets there and Hardy comes in! He takes care of Chavo, getting two off the knee/bulldog combo. Scoop slam connects and Hardy hits the second rope double axe handle. Hardy takes care of Neely and hits the Side Effect on Chavo, broken up by Neely dropping the elbow on Chavo. It’s all out as Henry comes in and nails the World’s Strongest Slam on Hardy. Hornswoggle is in and he bites the leg. The ref takes care of him and Finlay hits Henry with the Shaeliegh! Tony Atlas pulls Finlay out of the ring and Hornswoggle dives onto Atlas. Chavo comes back in, swats Hardy away…Frog Splash connects and that’s the match!
Winners: Chavo Guerrero, Bam Neely, & Mark Henry
Grade: B
The Dirt Sheet is here TONIGHT.
Commercials.
We’re back and we get Cena footage – the same as last night. Not sure why we need this on ECW…keep this on RAW…or better yet, put it on SmackDown.
Last week, Todd Grisham gets some thoughts from Jack Swagger. Tommy Who? Swagger sucks. Lena has Dreamer in an interview and he puts over his 19th year anniversary. His legacy isn’t about wins or losses. Jack could beat him in five minutes, but what if Tommy beats him?
Commercials.
Wrestlemania 25 tickets will be available one week from Saturday!
We’re back and Tommy is ready to fight!
Tommy Dreamer v. Jack Swagger
Nice to hear Lance Cade’s theme music. Noble’s music with him and Nidia worked much better for Swagger though. It’s Old v. New School right here tonight. They lock up and Jack takes him down. He works some amateur moves against Dreamer before scoring a kick to the ribs. The elbow misses and Tommy assumes control. Single arm DDT connect and Dreamer is in control. Swagger pushes off, but Tommy nails a hard double sledge, sending Swagger out of the ring. Baseball slide connects and Swagger gets inside quickly. Knee lift to the face by Swagger sends Dreamer down and COMMERCIALS? WTF?
Commercials.
We’re back and Swagger is in control. Belly to Belly Suplex connects for two. Swagger slams Dreamer’s face down and he takes Dreamer down and locks on the head. Tommy gets out, but Swagger mounts Dreamer and hits the closed punches. Front slam connects and Dreamer moves out of the way when Swagger goes to the top. Swinging neckbreaker connects for Dreamer! He drops the elbow for two. Swagger hits the corner…BULLDOG on Swagger! Dreamer Driver is countered. Swagger runs into a big boot and a second rope splash! Dreamer goes to the top, but Swagger is up top. Swagger gets hung out to dry, the DDT is countered to the Northern Lights Suplex for TWO! Dreamer counters the Gutwrench Powerbomb to a rollup of his own for two, but Swagger rolls through…GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB connects! That’s it.
Winner: Jack Swagger
Grade: B
Up next is the DIRT SHEET!
Commercials.
Catch me next Monday for RAW’s 800th celebration…a few shows late.
The Miz will be on Ghost Hunters Friday night!
The Dirt Sheet
Morrison has the sequined abs and they are worth more than Bush’s 700B Bailout plan. This Monday, the greatest tag team of the 21st century takes on the greatest tag team of the 20th century. They were in high school in 1997. Times changed and they’ve become the greatest tag team of ALL TIME! Then, Trips and Shawn got married and had kids. We get a video that reeks of political crap. OK, I lied, I loved it. They just got Obama’d and received the McPain. They introduce their guests, which as you guessed it…are parodies of Trips & Shawn. This seems awkward. Miz & Morrison don’t do fart jokes or lame attempts of humor. In one year, they’ve outshined DX. They’re better and come Monday, they will prove it. The fake Shawn has two words, but Miz has five and they take down the DX parody. BE JEALOUS!
Grade: B
Show Over.
The ECW Report Card
The Dirt Sheet: B
Jack Swagger d. Tommy Dreamer: B
Chavo Guerrero, Bam Neely, & Mark Henry d. Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, & Finlay: B
The Final Grade for ECW 10.28.2008: B
Not a bad show tonight. ECW continues to be awesome, even though RAW did outshine them this week. Until next time, I’m Paul Marshall and I have two words for ya.
Let’s Go!
