I’m convinced that there’s a conspiracy against me when it comes to The Amazing Race. Seriously, there should have been a non-elimination leg by now…
Moving on – Nick/Starr are first to depart, and the next destination in Delhi, India. Oh funny coincidences, because I seriously had Indian food for lunch on Sunday. Mmm, I love me some spicy food! Once in India, the teams have to find Moon Light Motors to get their next clue. On a random tangent – do the teams get to do laundry at some point? Because every time I see Nick’s camo, I’m reminded how few clothes they can bring, and I’d hate to be running around in sweaty, nasty clothes.
Back on track! Toni/Dallas are second out… and oh, we learn that Dallas has a thing for Starr! He comments that its awkward to try to flirt with his mom and Nick around. No shit, Sherlock. The Divorcees say that they’re going to run the race smart now, and they’ve got a lot to learn. Like how to read and not be obnoxious bitches. Sarah gets excited when she asks her tuktuk driver if he knows where the travel agency is, and he replies “I know everything”. If he knows everything, I would ask him “Who’s going to win the race?” or “When is Terrance going to grow a pair?” (I can answer that one – never)
In the travel agency, Dallas tries to get his flirt on while Nick/Toni are looking up tickets, saying they should find a bar around here and make drunk phone calls. He calls his mom the worst wingman ever, nice. Starr comments that she has a great friendship with Dallas that should last outside the Race, and think there’s attraction there. Starr, keep looking – Dallas isn’t bad to look at, I’ll give you that, but he don’t look too bright.
Everyone races for taxis once they arrive in India. Nick makes a comment to Starr about how the Divorcees should have changed on the plane. Oh, these girls are morons. I don’t care if it’s hot, you’re in India, short-shorts are not exactly proper attire. Add ‘Indian culture’ to their list of things to learn. Nick/Starr then comment about the crazy traffic – and we see our first cow in the street, yay! Surprisingly, the Divorcees know that the cow is a sacred animal, yet they don’t know Indian women kinda don’t walk around showing much skin. Ken/Tina have the wonky taxi driver this time around, causing the superbitch in Tina to come out.
Nick/Starr are the first to Moon Light Motors, and it’s a Road Block. One person must paint the bottom of a rickshaw green, and they must mask the yellow exterior and interior with newspaper before they can start painting. Starr chooses to go, and Fat Frat goes for Team Superbad, who arrives shortly after. They’re pretty happy to be up near the lead, let’s see how long that lasts. Toni goes for Toni/Dallas, and Nick says he thinks the little romance between Dallas/Starr is cute. Showmance, or real deal we got brewing here? The Divorcees show up in 4th.
I am pissed that my dad’s teams, Terrance/Sarah and Ken/Tina, are doing HORRIBLY when its clearly going to be a non-elimination leg. They both have bad taxi drivers, but Sarah goes for the task and Ken/Tina are last in. Starr’s the first to start painting, followed by Fat Frat Andrew. Terrance is bitching at Sarah, Tina’s bitching at Ken, but Toni/Dallas are showing great teamwork.
Team Superbad finishes first – and they must find a doorman at the Ambassador Hotel; Nick/Starr are close behind. Terrance continues to be a jerk, and if I were Sarah, I would have sprayed paint in his face a loooong time ago. Toni’s 3rd, Ken’s 4th, and the Divorcees are 5th.
Nick/Starr make it to the hotel first, and its time for the Detour. Launder Money involves getting 10 bills that total 780 rupees, making a wedding necklace with them, then finding a groom to give it to. Launder Clothes involves using a traditional charcoal iron to iron 20 pieces of clothes, and they must meet the laundry woman’s approval. Toni/Dallas show up right behind them, and both choose Clothes. Ken/Tina still have a wonky taxi, and Team Superbad and the Divorcees get to the hotel and choose Clothes.
Terrance/Sarah finally leave the Roadblock, and are in last. Please let Terrance get run over by a cow, please. At Launder Clothes, the irons are really hot, but Nick/Starr are lucky and have gloves in their bag. The Divorcees, Toni/Dallas, and Team Frat all complain as they start. Terrance/Sarah and Ken/Tina have chosen to do money, and they run around outside the banquet hall asking people for change. Back at Clothes, Team Frat are epicly failing at ironing. Nick/Starr finish first – and they’re headed to the Pit Stop, the Baha’i House.
They’re 1st to arrive at the Pit Stop, and holy heck, is that lady really balancing a pot of fire on her head? Terrance/Sarah are first to get their money, while the Divorcees finish the laundry 2nd and are 2nd at the Pit Stop. Terrance/Sarah finish the necklace and run through the crowd to find a groom (the crowd looks more like a mosh pit to me), while Ken/Tina come in with their money. Toni/Dallas are 3rd to finish ironing, and the Frat Boys have no luck, as a crazy wind blows all their clothes off the table.
Terrance/Sarah find a groom first, with Ken/Tina close behind. Terrance/Sarah have an advantage because their taxi driver waited, and Toni/Dallas are the 3rd team to arrive at the Pit Stop. On their hunt for a taxi, Ken/Tina get chased by dogs. Not as good as a cow, but I’ll take it. While they’re running, Terrance/Sarah arrive in 4th.
Team Superbad finishes ironing, and it’s a race to avoid last place. Ken/Tina have another crappy driver… and this helps Superbad come in 5th. Ken/Tina are last, but like I called, its finally a non-elim. On the next leg, Ken/Tina must complete a Speedbump at some point, a task only they have to do. Seriously, why do my dad’s teams do horrible now?
Kiera Vallone hails from Long Island, NY. She is currently a junior-year Journalism student at SUNY Purchase.
