The Chikarticles: Cibernetico Edition

A brief history of Chikara’s Cibernetico and a breakdown of this year’s Cibernetico match. Plus news and results all in this week’s Chikarticles.

Soldier Ant and Fire Ant of The Colony Win the 2008 Tag World Grand Prix
After going through four other teams (Jimmie James and Kidd Fight, Vin Gerard and STIGMA, Amasis and Ophidian and finally PAC and Martin Stone) in the two-night tag team tournament, The Colony emerged victorious. The Colony is the first team in Chikara history to accumulate four points, and have a chance of getting a fifth point or losing them all at their next match on November 16th, a four-corners tag team elimination match. The Colony has the second biggest targets on their backs right under The Osirian Portal.

Quackenbush Beats Johnny Saint in 4th Round via. Knockout
In a six-round match with two technically sound wrestlers like Mike Quackenbush and Johnny Saint, the last thing we all expected was a knockout finish in the fourth round. Despite the rather surprising ending, the crowd loved the match and it was perfectly deserving of the main-event spot. Quackenbush challenged Saint to another match, which would make it the third match in the series.

Claudio: Against All Odds
After declining Sweeney as a team mate for “Cibernetico Begins”, Claudio will be stepping into the ring against two of the coolest looking jerks in indy wrestling today, The Fabulous Two. I’m not sure why Claudio still doesn’t trust Sweeney. They worked well together at La Loteria Letal, and Sweeney even offered to pay for a tanning salon session.

Turtle Heading
Steve “The Turtle” Weiner will be making his triumphant Chikara return at Armdrags to Riches! Unfortunately his opponent is “Big Rig” Brodie Lee.

Two Title Defenses…
It doesn’t matter if Gerard comes out victorious on the previous night’s Cibernetico, he will be defending his Young Lions Cup against Worker Ant at Armdrags to Riches. Also defending their titles will be The Osirian Portal against Lince Dorado and Jimmy Olsen.

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Upcoming Events
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Cibernetico Begins in Framingham, MA on 11.15.2008
1. Robbie Ellis and Larry Sweeney vs. Gran Akuma and Icarus
2. Super Smash Brothers vs. 2.0
3. Hallowicked vs. Brodie Lee
4. Claudio Castagnoli vs. The Fabulous Two
5. The 2008 Cibernetico Match featuring Team Jimmy Olsen and Team Vin Gerard

Armdrags to Riches in Walingford, CT on 11.16.2008
1. Helios vs. Ultramantis Black
2. Super Smash Brothers, Cheech and Cloudy vs. Los Ice Creams and 2.0
3. The Sea Donsters vs. Gran Akuma and Icarus
4. Steve “The Turtle” Weiner vs. Brodie Lee
5. Icoherence vs. Soldier Ant and Fire Ant vs. The Fabulous Two vs. STIGMA and Colin Delaney
6. Vin Gerard (c) vs. Worker Ant (Young Lions Cup Match)
7. Claudio Castagnoli vs. Eddie Kingston
8. The Osirian Portal (c) vs. Lince Dorado and Jimmy Olsen (Campeonatos de Parejas Match)

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HISTORY OF CIBERNETICO
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(The Cibernetico Match is where two teams of 8, usually Rudos against Tecnicos, face off against each other in an elimination style match, and ring entry has a specific order. The tag order is the same, whether you are tagged in, or are about to tag out. The two teams battle it out until there is one individual winner. That means if there are two Rudos left standing after all the Tecnicos are eliminated, those two Rudos fight to determine the Cibernetico Winner. Eliminations occur after pins, submissions, countouts, and disqualifications.)

CHIKARA Cibernetico 2004 Teams: DJ Skittlez, Gran Akuma, Icarus, Jigsaw, Jolly Roger, Mister ZERO, Private Eye and Shane Storm (Team Tecnicos) against Crossbones, Hallowicked, Mano Metalico, Rorschach, ShareCropper, Spyrazul, Larry Sweeney and Ultramantis Black (Team Rudos).

CHIKARA Cibernetico 2004 Winner: Jigsaw (after pinning Larry Sweeney at the 76 Minute Mark)

CHIKARA Cibernetico 2005 Teams: Blind Rage, Arik Cannon, Claudio Castagnoli, Gran Akuma, Hallowicked, Chris Hero, Icarus and Ultramantis Black (Team Rudos) against Jigsaw, Eddie Kingston, Milano Collection A.T., Mike Quackenbush, Sabian, Skayde, Shane Storm and the returning Mister ZERO (Team Tecnicos).

CHIKARA Cibernetico 2005 Winner: Gran Akuma (after pinning Shane Storm at the 106 Minute Mark)

CHIKARA Cibernetico 2006 Teams: Gran Akuma, Claudio Castagnoli, Chris Hero, Icarus, Larry Sweeney, Sal Thomaselli, Vito Thomaselli, and Brandon Thomaselli (Team Rudos) against Cheech, Cloudy, Darin Corbin, Ryan Cruz, Hallowicked, Eddie Kingston, Mike Quackenbush, and Shane Storm (Team Tecnicos).

CHIKARA Cibernetico 2006 Winner: Icarus (after pinning Eddie Kingston)

CHIKARA Cibernetico 2007 Teams: Lince Dorado, Chivas 3, Chivas 4, Hijo del Ice Cream, Ice Cream Jr., Magno, Incognito, and Equinox (Team Tecnicos) against Mitch Ryder, Shayne Hawke, Larry Sweeney, Claudio Castagnoli, Chris Hero, Chuck Taylor, Icarus, and Gran Akuma (Team Rudos).

Chikara Cibernetico 2007 Winner: Claudio Castagnoli (after pinning Mitch Ryder)

Instead of briefly running over each team in this year’s Cibernetico, I’ll be running over each wrestler of both teams.

(1) Vin Gerard (Team Captain): If it wasn’t for Gerard and his shady antics, Jimmy Olsen would be a much happier person right now. It all started when Gerard told Jimmy Olsen that his lost brother, Colin Olsen, was hiding from him in one of the Lucha masks. This caused a desperate Jimmy Olsen to go bonkers and start ripping masks off of Chikara Luchadors left and right. It wasn’t until Colin’s return at Style and Substance where Jimmy would find out Colin’s true feelings: that he was never good enough for Colin. Now Jimmy Olsen is seeking revenge against Colin’s newfound brothers, Vin Gerard and STIGMA, The UnStable.

(2) STIGMA: The mad clown formerly known as Shane Storm was the first to be picked by Vin Gerard. STIGMA has displayed a new level of emotion that we’ve ever seen out of him, whether he was the pitiful Shane Storm or the crazy clown we know today. Unfortunately for Team Jimmy Olsen, that emotion is rage. With a more aggression and a realization to utilize his weight in his offensive moveset, STIGMA isn’t a joke anymore. He’s a threat.

(3 and 4) Ultramantis Black and Crossbones: I would say Mantis has the brain and Crossbones the brawn, but Crossbones isn’t that stupid and Mantis isn’t that weak. This team alone is pretty dangerous. Vin Gerard may be the fuel The Order of the Neo Solar Temple needs to set the world on fire. Though Gerard left a nasty taste in Mantis’ mouth when he stated “if you guys don’t like it, it really doesn’t matter to me all that much”, I’m sure Mantis and Crossbones can look past that if they can get an opportunity to beat up on some Tecnicos.

(5) Eddie Kingston: “They don’t come much more UnStable than Eddie Kingston.” Vin Gerard is 100% correct; Eddie Kingston is the least stable member of the Chikara Roster. Painting profanities on his chest at a children’s show, going to unnecessary lengths of punishment to embarrass his opponent, and executing more low-blows than Ric Flair, it’s hard to disagree with Vin on this one. Eddie Kingston is exactly what this team needs.

(6 and 7) Ophidian and Amasis: Vin left a bad taste in the champions’ mouths too when he said it’s only a matter of time before the UnStable take the belts from them. This is a pretty big threat, and I’m not sure if The Osirian Portal can ignore. The Portal may be Rudos, but they’re not dumb. The rule is they HAVE to team with Vin Gerard on Cibernetico, but they don’t have to cooperate.

(8) Lince Dorado: With his final pick, Vin Gerard decided to play some mind games with Jimmy by picking his current tag team partner. Having Kingston and Dorado on the same team can lead to some problems down the road, especially if they are next to each other in batting order. As I mentioned before, there is no rule against not cooperating, and I’m sure Lince will take advantage of this.

(1) Jimmy Olsen (Team Captain): Just recently, Jimmy decided to play some mind games of his own by dressing up as Equinox, Vin Gerard’s past character. Olsen was embarrassed and put to shame when he was beat down by Vin Gerard, STIGMA and his brother Colin Olsen (now going by Colin Delaney) at Style and Substance. Dressing up as Equinox not only plays with Vin’s head, it also shows that Jimmy has respect for the Lucha community, and regrets ripping the masks off of his opponents.

(2) Mike Quackenbush: Jimmy chose Quack for the sole reason that he wants to tie The UnStable in knots. Quack and STIGMA have unfinished business, and I can assure you he wants to inflict some kind of revenge on Gerard for re-injuring his leg in the STF. I’ve never seen Quack more fired up than he has been in his feud with The UnStable, and that’s saying something considering I’ve been following Quack for over eight years. Much like Kingston was the perfect fit for Vin’s team, Quackenbush is exactly what Jimmy needs.

(3 and 4) Tim Donst and Hydra: I don’t think I need to explain why Jimmy picked these two. What I will go into though is this team’s ability to overcome the odds and make big things happen. Tim Donst and Hydra took the Chikara world by storm and on more than one occasion were favored to be the next Campeones de Parejas. With the Sea Donster’s mindset and attitude on his team, it looks as if Olsen is assembling the Justice League of Chikara.

(5) Helios: We haven’t seen much of Helios in Chikara 2008, but one thing I know is Helios never misses a beat. In all of his 2008 appearances, Helios has looked solid and better than ever. Helios is a big team player, and he will do anything in his power to help the team out.

(6, 7 and 8) Fire Ant, Soldier Ant and Worker Ant: Coming fresh off a Tag World Grand Prix win, The Colony knows a thing or two about team work.

Break It Down (Again): Vin’s team looks furious, but the way he picked them shows that he doesn’t care much for them. His attitude was “you’re going to team with me whether you like it or not”. And trust me from football experience, that’s not a nice attitude to have on your team.

On the other hand, you have Jimmy Olsen’s team. With Quackenbush being a former King of Trios Tournament Winner, Jimmy Olsen holding tag team gold throughout North America, The Colony’s recent success in the Tag World Grand Prix and The Sea Donster’s ability to overcome the odds, it’s pretty obvious that this team will work together without a hitch.

CIBERNETICO 2008 PREDICTION: This year’s Cibernetico can go in so many directions. We have the possibilities of seeing Quack and STIGMA in the final two as well as Olsen and Gerard, Hydra and Ultramantis, Tim Donst and Ultramantis, hell, even Kingston and Lince! I’m going to go with Quack over STIGMA, leading to Quack’s very first Cibernetico win.

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THE END
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