Nick/Starr are first off – they must find the Deshbandu (try saying that three times fast) Apartments, and find the central park, which is where the next clue is. They feel that since their back in the lead, they’re a bigger target now (duh). Toni’s finally starting to admit that Dallas is a big boy now. Sarah comments about she think her and Terrance are starting to work on their relationship and how they’ve been yelling a lot lately. That’s because you’re dating a jerk, sweetheart. The Divorcees act like mean junior-high girls, and are like “Would you rather make out with Dan or Andrew?”, complete with lots of evil giggles.
Nick/Starr are first to the apartments, and it’s the Roadblock. One person must partake in a traditional “Holi Festival”, run through people pelting water and color powder at them, then climb up a ladder and try to find an envelope like the clue envelope. Starr goes, and she finishes before anyone else arrives. Now they’re headed to the Charity Birds Hospital in Old Delhi, where they must search cages for their next clue. Nick tries to help Starr clean up, but she’s worried about her makeup – what, want to look cute for Dallas, eh? Meanwhile, Nick gets pink paint thrown in his face, nice.
Dallas chooses to do the Roadblock, while the Divorcees are rude and complaining about the condition of the city. Shut the HELL up already! Kelly is seriously retarded –she’s freaking out about getting the paint in her mouth and how she can’t do this. Their strategy? Just grabbing any envelope, and running it back to Christy to open it. I hope they <i>finally</i> go home, because they never read anything, ever. I have to laugh when Terrance is about to run in and asks Sarah “Who’s my girl?”, and she replies “You are!”, then corrects herself. Honey, you were right the first time. They finish 3rd, and Team Frat comes in and finishes before the Divorcees. Finally, they read the damn instructions, and are 5th.
Ken/Tina are apparently MIA, but they show up and gimpy Ken does it. Tina gets pelted with paint while waiting, and I have to say that green hair suits her. The hot mess Divorcees are unable to get a taxi to take them, even though they’re waving money around, one of them commenting “Do we look that bad?”. Yes, and that’s even without a thick layer of paint. Meanwhile, Tina gets pelted with green paint while trying to cheer Ken on.
Nick/Starr are the first to the bird hospital – and it’s a Detour. Bleary Eyed involves looking for little numbered tags along power lines on a certain street, give the numbers to a man with a sewing machine, and if the numbers are right they must go across the street and plug in this elephant-thingy to get their next clue. Teary Eyed involves hauling two 40 pound bags of chili peppers ¼ of a mile, where they must crush the peppers until they reach a certain line. I know I have shitty eyesight, so I’d probably be going with the peppers.
They chose Bleary Eyed, as do Toni/Dallas who are close behind. They get a group of kids to help them find the right street, and watching her son is making Toni a proud mama. Terrance humorously attempts to get the color out of his nose by flushing water up there. I think the paint fumes have gotten to their heads, because at the bird hospital Terrance tells Sarah to look in a big tin of birdseed for the clue. Once they find the clues (in an empty cage), they go with Teary Eyed. Fat Frats go with Bleary Eyed.
Once they arrive at the hospital, Ken/Tina have to do their Speedbump challenge. They must go to a temple and perform community service by serving holy water to all the patrons who want it. Holy heck, that sounds like that could go on forever, not fair.
Nick/Starr and Toni/Dallas are having a hard time finding the numbers at Bleary. Nick eventually figures out the tags they’ve gotta look for, but lies to Toni/Dallas. Terrance/Sarah complain about the heavy bags, Team Frat just plain worries, and Ken/Tina are wearing funny hats. While trying to get to Bleary Eyed, the Divorcee’s taxi driver is giving them a lovely tour of the sights. Terrance/Sarah are choking from the chili fumes, while Ken/Tina finally finish serving water.
Nick/Starr are first to finish, and they’re headed to the Pit Stop at Humayan’s Tomb. As per usual, Terrance is getting cranky crushing peppers. Both the Frats and the Divorcees are reading the wrong signs and therefore getting the wrong numbers. Please, let the Divorcees go home so they can sign up for some well-needed reading classes.
Nick/Starr arrive at the Pit Stop first, with Toni/Dallas in a close second. Ken/Tina chose to do Bleary Eyed, as the Frats and Divorcees continue to fail miserably. Ken/Tina show them up and get their numbers right on the first try, booyah! Somehow, the Divorcees figure out the numbers before Team Frat, but Tina has a rare moment of kindness and tells the Frats what tags to look for. As Terrance/Sarah are third to the Pit Stop, the Frats finally get the right numbers.
Ken/Tina are back in the game and arrive in 4th. I want to smack the Divorcees again, as they rudely complain about the conditions of India. Seriously, not everyone gets to live as “privileged” as you two snots do, so get over it. I’m crossing my fingers that they’ll be going home. Things look when the Frats arrive in 5th place, and when the Divorcees arrive I get the news I was hoping for. Thank goodness I do not have to see them on TV again, until their required 3-second appearance at the end of the final leg.
Kiera Vallone hails from Long Island, NY. She is currently a junior-year Journalism student at SUNY Purchase.
