Stop me if you’ve heard this one before…an Asian chick, a male cheerleader and the black Pope walk into Johnny Ace’s office…
Opening Witty Banter
Congratulations to Brock Lesnar, who ascended to the top of the MMA world as fast as he did the pro wrestling world. The man is a legitimate freak of nature and I’m happy for his success. Dana White saw money in the “Next Big Thing†and rightfully capitalized on it. His promoting skills are more like Vince McMahon’s than he wants to admit.
As an aside, Entourage and True Blood are two of the best shows on television and I’m sad next weekend is the season finales for both. I never thought I would get so engrossed in a redneck vampire show like True Blood, but I am hooked.
Let’s take some ‘E…
The News of the Week
Almost moments after I put last week’s column to bed, the company came out and released three more talents, who included Elijah Burke, Kenny Dykstra and Lena Yada.
Elijah Burke
I must say Burke’s dismissal really surprised me as he was anointed the golden boy of the new ECW back in early2007, and even got Mr. McMahon’s ringing endorsement on television. Granted that was done for a storyline, and was about three different “era†changes ago on the brand, both on-screen and on the writing team, but having the owner of the company call you the future on live TV had to have some truth to it.
Burke really saw his time come to end when John Morrison and The Miz got traded to ECW and took up all the top card heel douche bag spots. Burke is still young enough and far too talented to stay out of the spotlight for too long. He will probably be back in WWE by this time next year.
Kenny Dykstra
This was another move that really surprised me. Even though he was introduced with the asinine Spirit Squad it was obvious from the get-go that the young Kenny was being touted as the star of the team. Even when the Squad got taken off TV, Kenny was allowed to remain on TV as a budding singles star. He had a nice run last summer on SmackDown! as Victoria’s boy toy, but after his leg injury he never regained any momentum. Pro wrestling is all Dykstra knows, as he’s worked for WWE since he was a teenager. This might be a blessing for Kenny as he can get away from the rat race of WWE and mature and grow. He, like Burke, will probably be back in WWE by this time next year.
It’s funny to think that of all five Squad members, only Nick Nemeth aka Dolph Ziggler remains in the company. I know I didn’t have his name in that pool. But then again after his recent Wellness strike maybe we’ll be able to see a “Team Spirit†reunion in the NWA or TNA.
Lena Yada
This is absolutely no big loss. It came out that Lena may have been fired because with Gail Kim back on the roster they didn’t want two good looking Asian girls on the roster at the same time. I don’t know if I believe that rumor, because that sounds like careless racism being thrown around in a mutli-million dollar, publicly traded company.
Fact is, she was useless as an on-screen talent. She had no discernable talent, had no character, was in no major angles and really wasn’t that good in her interview gig. She’ll be forgotten about by this time next week.
In another case of “is he or isn’t he†apparently Christian Cage is on his way back to WWE. He signed a three-year contract with TNA is up right about now, and it’s still unclear whether he will re-sign with TNA or go back to WWE. TNA themselves broke the story by bringing up Cage’s WWE rumors on Impact last week. They then wrote him out of storylines thanks to a Main Event beat down.
While I still think it’s bush league for TNA to keep mentioning “big brother†WWE on their programs, they did effectively write Cage out. If Cage signs with WWE, then the Main Event Mafia can brag about running Cage out of town, and if he stays with TNA, then Cage has a ready-made, super-hot return angle to put him back into the forefront.
The company has finally released the match list for the long awaited and much anticipated “Best of Starrcade†set.
Disc 1
Starrcade December 29, 1996 – The Match of the Decade
“Rowdy” Roddy Piper vs. Hollywood Hulk Hogan
Starrcade December 13, 1989 – Iron Man Singles Tournament
Sting vs. The Great Muta
Starrcade December 28, 1992 – Unified World Tag Team Championship
Barry Windham / Brian Pillman vs. Ricky Steamboat / Shane Douglas
Starrcade December 27, 1998 – WCW World Heavyweight Championship
Goldberg vs. Kevin Nash
Starrcade December 29, 1991
BattleBowl
Starrcade December 27, 1993 – 2 out of 3 Falls for the WCW United States Championship
Dustin Rhodes vs. Stunning Steve Austin
Disc 2
Starrcade November 26, 1987 – NWA World Tag Team Championship
Road Warriors vs. Arn Anderson / Tully Blanchard
Alternate Commentary: Todd Grisham / Road Warrior Animal
Starrcade December 29, 1996
Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Jushin “Thunder†Liger
Starrcade November 26, 1987 – Scaffold Match
Rock ‘n Roll Express vs. The Midnight Express
Starrcade December 26, 1988 – NWA World Heavyweight Championship
Ric Flair vs. Lex Luger
Starrcade December 27, 1995
Eddie Guerrero vs. Shinjiro Ohtani
Starrcade December 26, 1988 – NWA World Tag Team Championship
Dusty Rhodes / Sting vs. Road Warriors
Starrcade December 28, 1992 – King of Cable Tournament Final
Sting vs. Big Van Vader
Starrcade November 24, 1983 – NWA World Tag Team Championship
Brisco Brothers vs. Jay Youngblood / Ricky Steamboat
Starrcade November 28, 1985 – NWA World Heavyweight Championship
Dusty Rhodes vs. Ric Flair
Starrcade December 28, 1997 – WCW Cruiserweight Championship
Eddie Guerrero vs. Dean Malenko
Disc 3
Starrcade December 13, 1989 – Iron Man Tag Team Tournament
Road Warriors vs. The Steiner Brothers
Starrcade December 17, 2000 – Ladder Match for a Contract for the WCW Cruiserweight Championship
3 Count vs. Jamie Knoble & Evan Karagias vs. Jung Dragons
Starrcade December 13, 1989 – Iron Man Singles Tournament
Sting vs. Ric Flair
Starrcade November 24, 1983 – Dog Collar Match
Greg Valentine vs. Roddy Piper
Starrcade November 27, 1986 – Scaffold Match
Road Warriors vs. The Midnight Express
Alternate Commentary: Todd Grisham / Road Warrior Animal
Starrcade December 28, 1997 – WCW World Heavyweight Championship
Sting vs. Hollywood Hulk Hogan
Starrcade November 24, 1983 – Steel Cage Match for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship
Ric Flair vs. Harley Race
Starrcade November 28, 1985 – Steel Cage “I Quit Match” for the NWA United States Championship
Magnum T.A. vs. Tully Blanchard
Starrcade December 27, 1993 – WCW World Heavyweight Championship – Ric Flair’s Career Is On the Line
Ric Flair vs. Vader
Here’s a hint. They are playing these matches in this order right now on WWE 24/7 as part of their fan-voted top 25 Starrcade matches of all time.
Three years ago Wednesday, Eddie Guerrero passed away.
I can still remember logging onto 411mania and then immediately on wwe.com that hungover Sunday morning/afternoon and not believing what I read.
RIP Eddie.
The Road to…Survivor Series
I did this earlier this year in anticipation for WrestleMania, but with two of my favorite pay per views in Survivor Series and Royal Rumble coming I figured now would be the time to bring it back. I’m a huge mark for the classic elimination matches, but this year’s teams are even more random than last year’s. Where the hell are Ted DiBiase and Manu on Orton’s team anyways? Great Khali on Michaels’ team? And Kane teaming up with a bunch of douche-like characters like those on JBL’s team? *shakes head* I miss the golden days of Survivor Series ’89 and ‘90 with logical teams and kick-ass team names.
World Heavyweight Championship
Triple H (c) v. Vladimir Kozlov
WWE Championship
John Cena v. Chris Jericho (c)
Casket Match
The Undertaker v. The Big Show
Classic Elimination Match
Team Michaels: Shawn Michaels (c), Rey Mysterio, Cryme Tyme & The Great Khali v. Team JBL: John “Bradshaw†Layfield (c), Kane, John Morrison, The Miz & MVP
Classic Elimination Match
Team Batista: Batista (c), Matt Hardy, CM Punk, Kofi Kingston & R-Truth v. Team Orton: Randy Orton (c), Mark Henry, Cody Rhodes, William Regal & Shelton Benjamin
rumored matches:
an all-Divas tag match
WWE Tag Titles: Carlito & Primo v. The Brian Kendrick & Ezekiel Jackson
Weekly Paul London Update
No news on the Paul London front this week, as I’m sure he’s taking some well-deserved vacation. Final Battle ’08 seems like a perfect time to make his grand return to the wrestling world.
Wrestler of the Week
Week of November 10 – 16: William Regal
Thanks to a well-timed trip to his native United Kingdom, William Regal became Intercontinental Champion for a second time. He received the much expected hero’s welcome and hometown boy face pop, but it looks like it will be just temporary as he is sided with Randy Orton’s bad guy team at Survivor Series. This is also most like Regal’s last big run in the company thanks to his two Wellness strikes and his advanced age. As an aside, with Regal, Shelton Benjamin, CM Punk, Chris Jericho and Matt Hardy all Champions, has there ever been a time in the company where more Champions actually wore their belts?
RAW’s On Tonight!
Survivor Series is only a couple weeks away and the event’s build has been less than enthralling. The hype is all about Cena’s return while the undercard has suffered. The only match announced so far for tonight’s show is CM Punk versus Randy Orton. The two will be on opposing teams at Survivor Series, but it looks as if Punk’s heat has been transferred over to Batista. I really hope this isn’t the final blow off between these two as Punk deserves better than a one-off on free TV.
On Last Week’s Episode…
Norine continues her excellent coverage of SmackDown! I am actually starting to really dig SD!’s mix at the top of the card with Triple H, Kozlov, Hardy, Undertaker and Big Show all being able to put on a nice blend of free TV main events.
Marshall takes through what is usually the best hour of wrestling on TV each week – ECW.
Marshall was also the guide for last week’s United Kingdom RAW.
How They Rated
A.M. RAW (11.9.08) – .5
RAW (11.10.08) – 3.1
ECW (11.11.08) – 1.2
SmackDown! (11.14.08) –
This is Boring, What Else is There to Read?
Kirschner gears up CHIKARA’s flagship event – Cibernetico
Wiswell says what we’ve all been saying: Paul London needs to return to Ring of Honor.
Marshall continues to be the TNA ying to my WWE yang.
Glazer takes an early look at Ring of Honor’s new changes.
