Celebrity Championship Wrestling TV Report (Week 1)

Reviews, Shows, TV Shows

Introduction

Hulk Hogan created a new wrestling show, titled Celebrity Championship Wrestling. It airs each Saturday at 1PM Central Time. This week, you get the report late, but each and every week after this, I’ll be sure to have a report up within an hour of the first showing. Unlike my live WWE RAW Reports, this won’t be a Real-Time Coverage nor will this feature a Report Card, like I’m accustomed to do for any show I review, whether it be my own or if I’m covering for someone else. This season lasts eight weeks, so let’s hope something good comes out of this. I won’t be necessarily covering the play by play for each non-match segment, but I’ll make sure to provide you, the reader something that is easy to understand and it should be almost as if you’re watching the show with me. Without further ado, let’s kick this off!

Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling
Week 1: Down to the Basics

In the world of professional wrestling, one man is King: Hulk Hogan. 10 Celebrities will be transformed into professional wrestlers and one person will be crowned CCW Championship. Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake and Brian “Nasty Boy” Knobs will be the legendary coaches training these celebrities. The celebrities will be seprated into two teams and will learn the basics. They will face three judges: Eric Bischoff, Jimmy Hart, and Hulk Hogan. If they can’t take the heat, they will be sent packing. We’ll see guest appearances from Goldberg and Rob Van Dam. Who will survive?

The Cast
Provided by CMT’s website

Danny Bonaduce – television and radio host, reality star and actor The Partridge Family
Todd Bridges – television personality, actor Different Strokes
ButterBean – super-heavyweight boxer
Trishelle Cannatella – television personality, reality star Real World: Las Vegas
Dustin Diamond – television personality, actor Saved by the Bell
Erin Murphy – television personality, actress Bewitched (Tabitha Stephens)
Dennis Rodman – five-time NBA champion
Frank Stallone – actor, singer, Sylvester Stallone’s brother
Tiffany – chart-topping ’80s pop singer
Nikki Ziering – actress, Playboy playmate

So we have six men and four women vying for the coveted CCW Championship Belt. Once the ten celebrities introduce themselves, Eric Bischoff introduces the two legendary coaches, Beefcake and Knobs, as well as the man behind the show. He makes one thing perfectly clear: Wrestling is an artform. He singles out a few people.

The coaches are going to select teams and they will be shown three moves each week that they must learn. They will be judged on technical ability and showmanship. The team will be judged as a whole. The best team is safe, the other team will be forced to lose a teammate. The last person will win the title. Let the training begin.

The celebrities are split to two teams.

Team Nasty
Erin Murphy
Dennis Rodman
Nikki Ziering
Frank Stallone
Dustin Diamond

Team Beefcake
Danny Bonaduce
Tiffany
Butterbean
Todd Bridges
Trishelle Cannatella

The moves this week are : Kick to the midsection, Forearm Smash, and Clothesline. The captains demostrate the moves and we get ready for the training.

Training Rooms

Beefcake has two people assisting him. Nasty gets more technical, but the girls giggle a bit, but that pisses him off. He then uses his brother to demonstrate the kick to the midsection. Nikki sucked at this. Then again, she was in Playboy

Beefcake has them kick in the air before doing it live. Todd Bridges mistakes the gut for the nuts, which was bad. Then they both go over the clothesline, with Nasty teaching them how to fall first. Erin Murphy had six kids, so falling backwards does not hurt her.

The captains go over the logic of faces and heels and explain the tag match they will have later tonight. The sun goes down and it’s about time to get it on.

In the Arena

Tiffany & Danny Bonaduce (w/Todd Bridges) v. Trishelle Cannatella & Butterbean
Team Beefcake

On commentary is none other than Hulk Hogan’s BFF, Bubba The Love Sponge. Butterbean and Bonaduce start things off and Butterbean uses his weight to toss him around. Kick to the midsection and forearm smash by Bonaduce connect, but the clothesline sucked for him. Bonaduce runs into a Butterbean clothesline. In comes Trishelle and Bonaduce tecides to let her take the first shot. Boy that slap stunned him good. He goes for a closed fist, but is stopped. Trishelle sends him corner to corner, but Bonaduce kicks her in the midsection. He grabs the ahair and hits the smash, before tagging in Tiffany. She chokes her out in the corner, then hits the smash. Trishelle misses the turnbuckle spot and Tiffany smashes her down. To the ropes and Trishelle misses the clothesline, but they both connect with one and in come the men. Bonaduce runs into several clotheslines by Butterbean. He forces him up and we go corner to corner. Butterbean misses the splash and Bonaduce taunts the crowd. Bonaduce jumps into Butterbean’s clutches and he splashes him for the win.

Winners: Trishelle & Butterbean

After the match, Trishelle takes down Todd Bridges, who was ineffective during the match. Todd orchestrates a post match beatdown, but that is over as quickly as it begun.

Frank Stallone & Dustin Diamond (w/Nikki Ziering) v. Erin Murphy & Dennis Rodman
Team Nasty

Diamond and Rodman start things off. Diamond taunts the crowd, as does Rodman. Diamond goes for a cheapshot, but Rodman has eyes in the back of his head. Diamond is on the receiving end of the kick to the midsection. Next is the smash and the clothesline. Rodman tags in Murphy and she slaps her ass. Rodman charges after her and eats a clothesline by Rodman. She hits a weak kick in the midsection and a forearm smash. Up next is a slightly better clothesline, but Diamond no-sells it and he bangs her up in the corner. In comes Stallone, who taunts Rodman. Rodman has the ref distracted as Nikki takes care of Murphy. Stallone has Murphy in a sleeper hold before tagging in Diamond. Diamond hangs her up in the corner and Diamond misses the corner charge and IN COMES RODMAN! Diamond goes down and so does Stallone. Bischoff is taken back at this. Diamond takes a harsh clothesline and Rodman goes to the second rope. Flying clothesline connects and that gets the three.

Winners: Erin Murphy & Dennis Rodman

My analysis: Team Nasty had the better match, as everyone was involved and it looked more than just a regular match, like Beefcake’s team had. Todd Bridges was very ineffective, which is not what a manager should be, especially a heel manager. Rodman hitting a flying clothesline proved to everyone that he took training very seriously and he innovated the move a bit, which I’m sure impressed the judges.

The judges were very impressed with the action tonight and they deem Team Nasty the safe team tonight. Team Beefcake are in the ring and one of them will leave tonight. Eric Bischoff tells Trishelle that she has a great look, but she won’t be eliminated tonight. Jimmy Hart says that Danny caught the fire and he’s safe. Hogan says that Butterbean is a crowd favorite. Just because he’s a big man, he can’t work Hogan’s gimmick since the times have changed. It’s down between Todd and Tiffany. Tiffany’s showmanship prevailed, but her physical ability lacked. Todd Murphy was the unknown until the post match run-in, but that was enough to save him from elimination. Tiffany is eliminated.

The lights go off on Tiffany’s banner.

Next week, the competition heats up and the wrestlers start to break. Tune to my report each week as we take a different approach on wrestling. See you all Monday night for live RAW Coverage!

Paul Marshall has been with Pulse Wrestling since September 2007. He currently does a weekly WWE Column titled "This Week In 'E". Follow him on Twitter here.