The SmarK 24/7 Rant for World Championship Wrestling – August 9 1986

The SmarK 24/7 Rant for World Championship Wrestling – August 9 1986

– Nice to see that they’re back to the regular shows again after last week’s weird clip show. And what better way to start than a clip of the Andersons beating the holy hell out of Robert Gibson?

– Your hosts are Tony & David.

– Jim Cornette joins us right off the bat, demanding that Dusty Rhodes apologize to Big Bubba or his World title reign might be really short. That proved prophetic.

The Kansas Jayhawks v. Bill Mulkey & Pat Meyers.

How a pair of ugmos like Bobby Jaggers and Dutch Mantel were supposed to be babyfaces is beyond me. Cornette, doing color, wonders what the heck a "Jayhawk" is, as do we all. They take turns beating on Mulkey and switch off with slams in the corner before Jaggers gets a neckbreaker. Over to Meyers, who gets elbowed down by Jaggers, and the Jawhawks switch off with more quick double-teaming until Jaggers elbows Meyers down, into an elbow from Mantel. Jaggers drops another elbow, and they finish with a Hart Attack at 2:58. C’mon, who bought those guys as a serious threat to the Midnight Express? Impressive squash, but we all know who the belts were marked for.

– Speaking of which, Ricky and Robert declare that they’re coming for the belts, right after they avenge themselves against the Andersons.

– Magnum TA is out, down 3-2 to Nikita in the best of 7 series, ready to beat the odds. Spoiler: He doesn’t. Although I should note that he was on the Essential Starrcade show doing a talking head bit, and he was rocking the ‘stache HARDCORE, like Michael Imperioli on Life on Mars hardcore, even in retirement.

Jimmy Valiant v. Tony Zane

Jimmy is bald and thus pissed off, as he dumps Zane and runs him into the post and back into the ring. He applies a neck vice and then finishes with the elbow and elbow at 2:04. That’s a pretty leisurely pace by his standards.

– Dick Murdoch is here to save Dusty from the dastardly Four Horsemen. Baby Doll sidles into the interview and asks for his services tonight in St. Louis. Now there’s a scary combo.

The Warlord v. George South

Cornette is immediately off on a rant about "fat hog" Baby Doll. Warlord overpowers South and finishes with a powerslam.

– Let us take you back to Dusty Rhodes defending the World title against Ric Flair in Kansas, pinning him with a clothesline. WTF? Flair would win the title back on the show that they’ve been hyping "tonight" in St. Louis.

Randy Bryant & Bill Tabb v. Khrusher Khruschev & Nikita Koloff

Dunno why the jobbers get top billing in this one. Nikita throws Bryant around and drops him on the top rope, and then Tabb comes in to face off with Nikita. Fun fact: Nikita is now saying in recent interviews that this combination of Russians was the original template for Demolition, except that he declined to sign and they used Bill Eadie instead. Now, I’m not one to call Nikita’s credibility into question, but Barry Darsow was not the original guy to play Smash, so I think he’s full of shit on this one. The Russians continue pounding on Tabb and Nikita finishes with the Sickle. Fun fact: Cornette calls Bryant a "jabroni" on commentary, a total no-no in the 80s.

– Paul Jones and his army of jobbers celebrate beating 102-year old Jimmy Valiant. That’s truly quite an accomplishment. Notable point: He offered Manny Fernandez a "great deal of money" to join the Army, and the offer is still on the table. Hey, that’s foreshadowing!

Dick Murdoch v. Vern Deaton

Murdoch takes him down with a headlock to start and cranks on it. I don’t remember how long this lame babyface period lasted for him, but he was associating with Russians and Paul Jones by 1987 so it can’t have been long. Murdoch knees Deaton down and puts him down again with an elbow, then finishes with the brainbuster at 1:48. Odd to see a time where different guys were allowed to have the same finish.

– Ric Flair, the FORMER champion, cuts a super-intense promo against Dusty Rhodes, Magnum TA, Kareem Abdul Jabar, and anyone else he can think of within the allotted time.

Steve Regal v. Rocky King

Regal has now won the Junior heavyweight title from Denny Brown, which I didn’t recall at all so it couldn’t have lasted long. Regal with a suplex for two, but King fights back with a dropkick, so Regal takes him down with a legsweep for the pin at 0:58.

– The Russians cut a subdued promo, leading to…

The Midnight Express v. Darrin Evans & Tom Pittman

Condrey drops knees on one of the jobbers and they play "out and in" with the poor guy before Bobby goes up with the flying kneedrop. Cornette has no idea who these goofs are, and posits that they had to go out on the street and find a couple of "semi-retarded guys" to get someone who is actually dumb enough to face the Midnights. Oh my. Over the other semi-retard, and the Rocket Launcher finishes him at 2:17. Why doesn’t Cornette co-host every week?

– Tully Blanchard explains why he came out and beat Dusty half to death with a chair in Kansas: He doesn’t like him. Good enough for me.

The Rock N Roll Express v. Pablo Crenshaw & Bob Burroughs

Really scraping the bottom of the jobber barrel this week. Ricky backdrops Pablo and brings Bob in, and the RNR double-team and finish with the double dropkick at 0:42. And it’s the Andersons for the sneak attack! Awesome! Ricky fights them off and protects hetero life partner Robert.

– Jimmy Garvin is out to issue a challenge to Dusty Rhodes for the World title. WTF is with Precious’ poodle perm?

Buddy Landell v. Randy Barber

Buddy elbows Barber down and drops the corkscrew elbow to set up the figure-four at 1:00. That leads right into their promo, as Dundee cuts a crazed promo about how they’re the best team in the business. The Bill and Budro Show should have been the run that turned Buddy into a star, but he screwed it up as usual. And we’re out.

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