Pulse Wrestling’s Real-Time WWE RAW Report 11.24.2008

Reviews, Shows, Top Story, TV Shows

I’m back in the driver’s seat tonight.  A BIG thanks goes to Norine for stepping in last Monday with RAW and last night with Survivor Series.  Let’s GET…RAW!  Follow me on Twitter at pulsepaul and let me know you’re out in cyberspace.

WWE: Losing viewers since 1999.

In the parking lot, Shane O’Mac comes up in a nice spify car and he meets a few of the riff raff as he heads to the ring.

HERE COMES THE MONEY!

Last night at Survivor Series, John Cena became our new WORLD CHAMPION!  However, that spells a dilemma.  Both Batista and Chris Jericho have rematch clauses.  The solution: Batista v. Chris Jericho to determine who faces Cena at Armageddon for the title!  Cena is here tonight and we’re interrupted by Stephanie.  She has an announcement of her own.  She says that Randy Orton has valid reasons to be the #1 Contender, so tonight’s main event is a Triple Threat!  They talk amongst themselves for a moment as we get a deafening Cena chant.  We get a RAW rematch from last week, but Shane tries to but in and Stephanie gets pissed off!  This is HER…show.  Shane’s here to have fun, but Stephanie is all serious.  Shane asks if she’s going to run RAW or sleep with a top superstar like the last time.  That merits a slap and that makes Shane say that she’ll run RAW……right into the ground.

The commentators are shocked right now, but the show goes on.

The Miz & John Morrison v. Shawn Michaels & Rey Mysterio

Mysterio and Morrison start.  Kick with authority by Rey and he hits the tilt-a-whirl hurrancurana.  JBL is seen getting into the limo.  He’s coming out now, so it seems.  Shawn gets a tag and he tries to do his formula, but Morrison counters with a faceplant.  Michaels misses the kick, but Morrison does not and JBL is coming out to the ring!

Tag to Miz and JBL seems to take a seat on the hood.  Miz gets a cover on Michaels as we go to break.

Commercials.

We’re back as Mysterio is reeling on the outside after being hurled into the restraining wall.  Michaels is in trouble as Miz and Morrison work over him.  Michaels comes back with a side suplex.  Michaels goes for the tag to no avail.  Morrison is in and he targets the reinjured eye of Michaels.  CONTINUITY!  Off the top turnbuckle, Morrison wants a superplex, but gets tossed off.  Michaels loses his footing in the process.  He glides the rope line and in comes Mysterio!  He takes it to the Miz who drops him like a bad habit.  Split-legged moonsault gets two.  Springboard senton connects and Miz gets set up.  619 connects and Rey goes to the top.  Morrison distracts and he pays the price.  Morrison goes for the ride, but Shawn hits the steel post first.  SUPER SUNSET FLIP POWERBOMB by Mysterio gets three!

Winners: Rey Mysterio & Shawn Michaels
Grade: B-

Post match, John Morrison hits a cheap shot on Mysterio before really going after Shawn.  JBL comes inside the ring and he stares at Shawn on his knees and he BOOTS Morrison’s head off his shoulders!

Later tonight: #1 Contender’s Match
Also: THE CHAMP IS HERE!

Commercials.

Backstage, T-Grish wants to know why JBL did what he did.  He did it for business reasons as he made an offer to Shawn.  Let the theories run.

Now, Lillian introduces the star of Behind Enemy Lines Columbia….LOUDMOUTH…Loudmouth.  He talks about the movie and how he was at Boston and he infiltrated another line…the line we come in.  He asks the question “Which WWE Star reminds you of Obama?”  Pretty much every superstar in the WWE.  Best answer. Vince McMahon because he’s just as stubborn and both have big ears.  Of course, Mr. Kennedy wasn’t mentioned and he makes it known.

T-Grish is back at it again with Batista!  He congratulates Cena for winning the title last night.  Verbal fellatio, perhaps?  Batista ignores the main question by just saying he’ll win tonight.

Commercials.

WWE brings back the Slammy Awards in 2 weeks!  ANOTHER THREE HOUR RAW?

Lillian Garcia pimps the Intercontinental Championship tournament and brings out the first Intercontinental Champion, Pat Patterson.

Kofi Kingston v. Kane
First Round of the Intercontinental Tourney

Kane takes it to Kofi in the opening minute.  He gets a cover following a low dropkick.  Kofi ducks a clothesline and his feet go to work.  Kane’s big boot stops that cold and he gets two. Sidewalk slam is countered and Kofi nails a uppercut in the corner.  Kofi off the top with a cross body and that gets TWO!  He misses the Trouble in Paradise.  Kane goes for the chokeslam, but that is countered.  Kofi blocks going through the ropes and he sends Kofi out of the ring.  Off the ropes and Kofi takes it to the outside.  Kane bashes Kofi’s head against the ring pst and he bends the back against the post and that is a DQ.

Winner: Kofi Kingston via DQ
Grade: D+

Kane is pissed off and he tosses the steps in the ring.  Kofi gets KO’ed by the steps.  Stephanie comes out and makes a deal with Kane.  Either continue to beat up Kofi or take the agression out on Cena next week.  Kane smiles.

#1 Contender’s Match is NEXT!

Commercials.

Last night: Orton struck with the RKO on Batista.

Chris Jericho v. Batista v. Randy Orton
#1 Contender to the World Heavyweight Championship

The bell sounds and Batista is a one man army, taking out both Jericho and Orton.  He takes it to Orton, sending him to the corner.  Onto Jericho, who walks into a clothesline for two.  Batista goes to Orton and he nails some strikes to the chest.  Orton runs into a soulder and Batista boots Randy’s head off for two!  Orton goes out of the ring and he goes after Jericho, but Orton drags Batista out.  Jericho takes advantage and he hits a springboard dropkick.  Jericho follows with a bulldog, but misses the Lionsault.  Orton is a viper, going for the RKO, but they decide to take a break!

Commercials.

We’re back and Jericho gets a two count off a sunset flip.  Orton is back inside and we go Vintage Orton, targeting random body parts for a two count.  We go the chinlock route, but Randy improves on the basic chinlock to include some strikes.  Jericho is back in the ring and they double team Batista.  OK, they aren’t double-teaming.  It’s a game of who is better.  Of course it doesn’t work for long as Orton is in it for himself.  Orton to the ropes, kick to the face, Jericho hits the enzugiri for two!  Batista comes back and he sends Orton into Jericho!  Black Hole Slam on Jericho gets a close two count.  Orton gets sent to the corner and Batista nails a powerslam, but Jericho breaks up the count.  Jericho off the ropes…POWERSLAM BY RANDY FOR TWO!  Orton to the ropes…SPINEBUSTER BY BATISTA!  Jericho sneaks in with a Codebreaker attempt, but Jericho almost gets bombed, but Jericho counters with the Liontamer!  Orton takes Jericho out and he hits the modified backbreaker!  He readys for Batista…he changes his mind and he goes for the concussion kick, but Batista hits the SPEAR!  Jericho kicks Batista aside and we get Cena v. Jericho for Armageddon!

Winner: Chris Jericho
Grade: B+

Jericho smiles as if he won the World Series.

THE CHAMP IS BACK…TONIGHT!

Commercials.

We’re back and Glamerlla is in the ring.  He proclaims himself as the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time.  Yet he isn’t in the History of the Intercontinental Title DVD, nor is he in the tournament.  Out comes Goldust and the entrance is still golden.

Santino Marella v. Goldust

The bell sounds and Santino begs off.  Goldust slaps the back and Santino slaps the chest.  Goldust scares Santino and this is funny.  He blows a kiss towards Beth.  Flying butt attack connects and Santino kicks out.  He gets chinlocked, but Marella comes back a bit.  He takes it to Goldust in the corner.  Vintage Goldust connects as does the Atomic Drop.  He hitsa Vertical suplex lift into a neckbreaker that King gave a name for, but Michael Cole didn’t shut up long enough for me to hear it.  That gets the win.

Winner: Goldust
Grade: C-

Last week, Bearded Mike Knox hits the well protected ankle of Evan Bourne, making us think he hurt him worse.

Commercials.

Charlie Haas promotes WWE mobile.

We’re back and Randy Orton meets with Cody Rhodes and Manu.  No words are exchanged.

IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME!

CM Punk v. Snitsky
First Round of the Intercontinental Tourney

William Regal makes his way towards the ring.  Did you know that Regal was eliminated in five seconds last night by CM Punk?  Regal asked for this tournament.  Punk gets sidewalk slammed in the opening minute and Regal hopes for Punk to win.  He says that they will have a “feud for the ages”.  But Punk has a uphill battle as Snitsky has Punk in a bearhug.  Punk uses his head and he gets out of it.  Regal brings class back to the Intercontinental Title.  Snitsky gets a two count and we go back to the bearhug.  Punk gets slammed to the mat and Snitsky drops the elbow to the canvas.  Punk uses his legs and follows up with jawbreaker.  Snitsky misses a corner charge.  Punk off the turnbuckle and he gets two on Snitsky.  Running knee lift and the bulldog is dodged.  Kick to the face by Snitsky and back to the bearhug.  Regal really puts Punk over so awesome that Pulse Glazer has to be in tears.  Snitsky kills Punk dead with a clothesline.  Pumphandle Slam attempt and Punk counters with the Go2Sleep!  That gets the win, an anticlimatic one at best.

Winner: CM Punk
Grade: C-

Regal claps for Punk.

Backstage, T-Grish has Mysterio, who will face the Miz next week in the Intercontinental Tournament.  He’s interrupted by BEARDED MIKE KNOX!  He stares at Rey and leaves.

Commercials.

Tomorrow night, Dreamer and Swagger go EXTREME!

DX is here to help us with the holidays.  Kelly Kelly is your honorary DX member tonight and she’s H…O…T!  Shawn is mesmerized with KK and HHH that he flubs his lines.  She steals his lines bcause of this and gets kicked off the set.  Trips wants the shirt back and…KK has a good view that I do not see.

Since the 10 diva tag match sucked last night, we get six divas tonight!  Beth was your sole survivor and Jillian gets happy over the Slammys.  Jillian wants to sing…and we go to break.

Commercials.

Cena v. Kane is NEXT WEEK!

Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, & Katie Lea Burchill v. Mickie James, Candice Michelle, & Melina

Note that during Candice’s entrance, Melina’s TitanTron showed.  The worse thing was that King made it known on camera!  She does return and her entrance is AWESOME!

Jillian starts with Candice.  Candice wrenches the arm, but Jillian sweeps the leg for a bridge out.  Candice goes to the corner and Beth gets involved.  Jillian pulls the hair and Candice lands face first.  Candice gets triple teamed and in comes Beth.  She gets a quick two count before continuing to punish Candice with a backbreaker times three.  Candice gets out of that, but Beth continues the pressure.  Candice kicks Beth to the corner and Candice tags to Melina.  Beth is in and she hits a REVERSE CANADIAN DESTROYER?! for one.  It’s bonzo gonzo and Melina hits the high leg drop for three.

Winners: Melina, Candice, & Mickie
Grade: C-

Jericho is with Stephanie and he tells her that Jericho is Cena’s welcoming committee.

Commercials.

We’re back and we get a recap of Jericho getting the #1 Contendership tonight!  Jericho is in the ring and he gloats how things won’t change even if Cena won the title.  He’s here to inform Cena that Jericho will regain the title.  Cena interrupts from somewhere in the building.  Not only didn’t Jericho lost the title, but he lost his grasp of reality.  Cena brought his friends and he takes them towards the ring!  Jericho is not pleased as Cena and the Chain Gang make their way down the aisle in the stands.  Cena goes alone to the ring and he has the music stopped.  He talks about how the fans care about the WWE and how they spend their hard earned cash to do what they do best…make some noise.  Without the universe, the WWE wouldn’t exist.  Cena’s goal is not to count the titles, but to give 100% no matter what.  Jericho doesn’t give a damned.  Jericho runs down the laundry list that he beat.  The difference is that Jericho talks business and Cena means business.  Jericho takes his leave.  Cena gives his props to Jericho for the match last night.  The difference is that Jericho thinks he wants to save the WWE.  Jericho is lying to himself each and every night.

Jericho comes back inside the ring and he says that the champ is not here, but right here.  Jericho says that Cena is scared of him.  He calls Cena a liar and a hypocrite and that he will lose the title to Jericho at Armageddon.  He calls Cena a coward of a man and CENA SNAPS!  Jericho gets tossed like yesterday’s trash and HE’S NOT DONE!  Jericho gets sent over the announce table and he spills soda over Jericho’s suit.  Jericho gets bashed in the stairs and Cena sends Jericho to the other stairs.  He’s still not done.  He takes the steps and he nails Jericho over the guardrail!  Jericho gets dragged back in the ring and he hits a running lariat!  Cena locks on the Full Nelson and follows with the STFU!  THE CHAMP IS BACK AND MEANS BUSINESS!

Segment Grade: A

Show Over.

The WWE RAW Report Card

Main Event Segment: A
Melina, Mickie, & Candice d. Katie Lea, Beth, & Jillian: C-
CM Punk d. Snitsky: C-
Goldust d. Santino Marella: C-
Chris Jericho d. Batista and Randy Orton: B+
Kofi Kingston d. Kane via DQ: D+
Rey Mysterio & Shawn Michaels d. The Miz & John Morrison: B-

The Final Grade for WWE RAW 11.24.2008: C+

Well, nothing stunk tonight, the latest McMahon sibling rivalry begins, Cena is a madman, and Jericho continues to be gold.  The fallout was interesting and I await to see what happens next week.

I’ll have CCW up tomorrow morning for those that miss my recaps.  Have a great week!

Paul Marshall has been with Pulse Wrestling since September 2007. He currently does a weekly WWE Column titled "This Week In 'E". Follow him on Twitter here.