“The White Asparagus Triangulation” opens as Sheldon bumps into Penny at the mailboxes. He drops a “what’s shaking” on her. She gets freaked out as tries to use banal lines. He explains that this is how you’re supposed to open a conversation before you get to the awkward subject matter. He has a favor to ask when it comes to Leonard’s new girlfriend, Stephanie (Sara Rue). Sheldon swears this relationship means a lot to him since Stephanie’s one of a handful of women Leonard’s dated that he’s found tolerable. Penny gets irritated that she’s not one of the exceptions. Sheldon babbles on about how Stephanie can’t see Penny as a sexual rival. Penny swears that if she ever gets sexually aroused for Leonard, she’ll kill the impulse by thinking of Sheldon. Sheldon thinks that’s a good idea. She shuts her door and Sheldon gives a “peace out.”
He’s wonderfully pathetic when he talks hip. It’s kinda like watching an uptight presidential candidate tries to talk cool with kids. Ever see Mitt Romney talking about letting the dogs out? That’s what Sheldon was like.
During a romantic dinner in the apartment, Sheldon sits between Leonard and Stephanie. Leonard isn’t happy at his roomie’s elbow. Sheldon strikes up a strange conversation with her. Turns out she did her medical internship in his hometown. We hear a freakish story of how Sheldon made his own CAT scan at home which he used on his own cat.
Sheldon swears that Leonard must succeed with Stephanie since she’s the medical officer their landing party needs. He’s broken down their friends into the cast of Star Trek. Leonard and Stephanie are at the movies. Sheldon arrives. He’s upset because their invitation wasn’t clear. It merely said “gone to the movies.” He had to search Leonard’s web browser to figure out what film and time they’d chosen. Sheldon then does a weird noise thing to find the right seats in the theater. How can Leonard get lucky with Sheldon’s head practically on his shoulder?
In the middle of the night, Leonard bangs on Sheldon’s door. Turns out Stephanie’s Facebook page lists her as single and she’s throwing digital sheep at a stranger. He fears Leonard isn’t working his magic on the woman. He decides to relieve Leonard of his command under Star Fleet rules. Leonard points out that doesn’t matter since this is not Star Trek.
Sheldon is quickly turning into the worst best friend as he smoothers another pal’s relationship with kindness. I’ve seen this happen before. They mean well, but half the time they come off as worse than your mother. They actually start planning your dates for you. The only positive part of this is that Sheldon has zero libido. He’s not attempting to use his charm to seduce her.
Sheldon bangs on Penny’s door. He brings her the gift of banana bread to get inside and chat. He’s taken back by the mess in Penny’s apartment. He fears she’s been robbed. Sheldon needs her help to discover what Leonard did to make her “pop a virtual cap in his ass.” He wants to fix Leonard’s mojo. She tells him that what ruined her relationship was the plot of The Lakehouse.
Sheldon approaches Raj and Howard to get advice. They point out that Leonard’s dating time with women has gotten shorter and shorter. Raj suggest to kill every man on the planet to keep Stephanie interested. Howard suggests to not use Axe bodyspray. Sheldon is not happy with that result. He once more knocks on Penny’s door. This time he has zucchini bread. She won’t let him in. He apologizes for the early conversation and asks Penny where she is in her menstrual cycle. She’s slams the door when he explains his theory.
Stephanie and Leonard are eating dinner in the apartment. He offers her more wine and she hints that she could use another glass cause she has no plans to drive home. Leonard arrives and blows the atmosphere. He struggles with a jar of white asparagus. Turns out he wants Leonard to open the jar to show Stephanie that he’s strong and an alpha male. Sheldon can’t open it up. He busts open the glass on the stove and cuts himself. Stephanie says he needs to get stitches. Leonard pukes in the sink.
At the hospital Sheldon admires Stephanie’s needle work on Leonard’s hand. She and Leonard debate whether he cried. She won’t be staying overnight because Leonard needs his rest. Sheldon ponders why Leonard has such a hard time getting women to love him.
This episode truly shows that Sheldon is the child of The Odd Couple‘s Felix Unger. His attempt to help is friend is completely out of control yet it fits completely with his character. He can’t see that he’s the biggest impediment in the relationship with his tag along spirit. It’s only a shame that Tony Randall has died and can’t enjoy Jim Parsons bringing Felix into the 21st Century.
The guys are eating in the apartment. Raj asks to see his stitches. Howard nearly pukes. This explains why Howard didn’t go to med school. Penny arrives with good news on her laptop. Turns out Leonard’s Facebook profile has him listed as “in a relationship.” Stephanie is still listed as single. Leonard flips out when he realizes Sheldon has hacked into his account and done this switch. Now he’s going to look like a stalker. He’s finally going to kick his roomie’s butt for doing that. It looks like we’ll finally have the geek royale throwdown. But Raj makes a noise. Penny asks him as if he’s Lassie to explain himself. He points at the computer. Turns out Stephanie has changed her Facebook to read “in a relationship.” Leonard calms down, smiles and says, “Look at that, I’m in a relationship.” Sheldon takes a little credit for playing the gambit.
So much for getting to see a Geek Beatdown. Sheldon had it coming, but he pulled his plan out. Maybe by the end of the season we’ll have physical violence. It’ll be like Don Knotts versus a Timex Sinclair This Facebook nonsense about relationships really does cause a stir. Why just today a married couple I know ended up putting themselves down as single. About 20 of us freaked out wondering if their had split up. Why would they bust up without at least nicely emailing us beforehand? If they didn’t live on the other side of the world, we would have called them. Instead we waited for them to answer our concerned comments on the wall-to-wall. Remember to be careful with your Facebook status cause people do care even though we shouldn’t.
It is good to see Sara Rue back for more fun. She plays well with the geeks.
