Beautiful Ohio DVD Review

Film, Reviews

So, usually I’m pretty high up on the Indie Film side of things. And this one should qualify for that. But even for me, it sucks. The pacing is just terrible. Nothing happens the first hour and a half then everything happens in the last 5 minutes. The turn at the end is surprising, but not enough to save the movie.

The movie is based on a set of brothers in Ohio in the ’70s. The parents are sort of free-spirited and open-minded but the whole family dynamic is ridiculous. Almost every line said between family members in quoting some old dead person and the next line is the other family member correcting the old saying. Here’s a note to the writer of this movie, NOBODY DOES THAT!

The older brother also happens to be a math prodigy. Such a prodigy that the entire family goes to watch math competitions. I realize we’ve changed as a society, but did anyone ever actually go to a math competition to root someone on? You can’t even talk to them, what is the point? And since this is the ’70s, he also enjoys pot. With his pot and friends he’s also come up with a new language that he slips into when he doesn’t want to talk. That doesn’t get annoying at all…*rolls eyes*. And he’s somehow going out with Michelle Trachtenberg.

Her role in the movie is confusing. She constantly flirts with the younger brother while dating the older brother and her entire character just doesn’t seem right.

The little brother, like most, desperately wants to be like his older brother. And so he’s trying to figure out the secret language, and wants to smoke with his brother. I think he’s the one you’re supposed to pull for in this movie, but I have no idea. There’s no real main character that the viewers really connect with.

Then there are the parents who pretend to be open-minded while being close-minded and unchanging. They are also incredibly stupid and the fact they recite old sayings doesn’t hide it. The dad in the movie never realizes that his son’s girlfriend is living in the basement. And this movie covers about a year’s worth of events. I don’t know about you, but my parents would have known in about 15 minutes if there was someone living in the basement. Especially when that person smoke and lights scented candles. Ugh. The mother claims to have known, but why wouldn’t she do anything about it? She says she thinks it’s romantic, but I still don’t see that being a realistic response from a mother.


Beautiful Ohio is presented in 16×9 Widescreen format and Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound.
The sound is off. Things that should probably be quieter are loud. The ping pong games are loud enough to drown out the conversation.


Hooray for Spanish Subtitles.


Bad enough that Michelle Trachtenberg being hot doesn’t even save it. Slow, then blazingly fast. Confusing story. Mind boggling logic. The list goes on. Avoid if possible.

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IFC Films Presents Beautiful Ohio. Directed by Chad Lowe. Starring William Hurt, Julianna Margulies, Michelle Trachtenberg, and Rita Wilson. Written by Ethan Canin. Running time: 90 minutes. Not Rated. Released on DVD: November 25th, 2008. Available at Amazon.