Total Nonstop Weekly

Columns, Reviews, Shows, Top Story, TV Shows

It’s right in the middle of the holiday season, so I’m probably not going to be the most reliable writer for the next few weeks.  I still have a CCW episode to get posted, to which that will be posted Friday, along with a roundtable for the finale.  For now though, you get the news, rumors, and fun that you always receive each week with Total Nonstop Weekly.

Cost Cutting Measures

There’s rumors going around that TNA is going to not film anything when they return to the Tokyo Dome.  They also aren’t planning on doing anything special when they tour the United Kingdom.  Many are viewing this as a costly mistake and not a cost cutting measure because the Global iMPACT special they did received great reviews.  By not having cameras on hand when you’re performing at major venues with a large crowd may turn to be a major disaster if they hope to make any return plans.

TNA Creative Not-So-Creative

The Wrestling Observer recently reported that during a recent meeting with TNA’s Creative Team, they decided that TNA Originals was a weak name, so a change was needed.  One of the possibilities had “Xtreme” in it, but they forgot that the WWE owned the copyrights to that word.  Team Xtacy was another option, but they ultimately decided that the name would give them a bad reputation since “Ecstasy” is a drug.  As noted in last week’s iMPACT broadcast, they settled on Frontline.  Insert random flea control joke here.

TNA One-Liners

Christian Cage is all but confirmed to leave TNA and head for the WWE.

TNA remains profitable as we near the end of 2008.

TNA will be selling replica TNA Championship belts through their shoptna.com website.

Sojourner Bolt has been signed to TNA.

TNA is teasing that a former World Champion and Tag Champion with Mick Foley will be watching Kurt Angle’s back at Final Resolution.

I can speculate that Stone Cold Steve Austin, Kane and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has not signed a contract with TNA.

TNA Spin Cycle

Ratings News

I’ll admit when I am wrong.  Last week, I posted that TNA would lose ratings because of the Thanksgiving holiday.  Despite the holiday, iMPACT maintained a 1.1 rating.

The iMPACT Lines

No grades, no recaps, no BS.  I’ll toss out some one-liner comments about tonight’s iMPACT.

It’s bad that the opening minute of iMPACT was jumbled up.
Team 3-D are the last people I’d want to see firing Frontline up.
Kevin Nash says that Team 3-D duped the MEM?  At least he admits to be arrogant.
What’s the difference with Spike TV censoring ASS for TNA and not doing anything when WWE had RAW on Spike?
It’s Team 3-D, AJ, & Rhino v. the MEM at Final Resolution.
Ass gets censored, but rape is okay?
People get future endeavored from TNA, but Kip James still has a job?
Sharmell complains about ODB and Booker continues to talk Bookish then speaks Sucka.
Mike Tenay forgets about the Legend’s Title match between Booker T and Eric Young.
The TNA Street Fight Formula: Start in the ring, go to the crowd, take a commercial, go back to the ring, take it out of the ring, back to the ring, and add interference.
Steiner makes gay and fat jokes about Team 3-D.  He also butchers his comments so bad that the MEM is appalled.
Team 3-D make great motivators.
ODB is on her period…too much information.  Roxxi cussing more often makes for good bleeping.
Beer Money claims to be stupid in front of Abyss.  Alcohol is a great tool and Abyss is hooked.
The faux Governor is here!  I wasn’t expecting the real deal.
Christy Hemme and AJ Styles train for Kong.
I got dizzy watching Christy Hemme’s entrance.
Don West, Scott Steiner did take time off his busy schedule to make Petey Williams good.
Memo to Spike TV, Awesome Kong is not a woman, so quit with the “violence against women edict”.
Wait a second.  Christy Hemme performed a Styles-assisted Tornado DDT for the win?
Kurt warns Mick to not screw him over again.
Meanwhile, Abyss is drunk.  This is part of the show where I feel like I’m losing brain cells.

The feud between Bashir and Sewell continues.  So does the Dutt/Lethal feud.
Creed is more flexible than Santino Marella.  Yes, I said it.
Sting is a very conflicted man, but at least he has his focus.
Comedy ensues with the Beautiful People and “Sarah Palin”.  Tina Fey would had been so much better.
OK, ass is censored, but rape and bimbos are allowed?
Abyss is out of it…literally.  Being hit by a bottle doesn’t help matters.
Kurt Angle has officially gone crazy.
Rhino talks about the “wrestler’s code” as if we know what it is.
What’s the odds of Team 3-D turning on TNA Frontline at Final Resolution?
Rhino’s face is a crimson mask after GORING the barricade.
Note to self: Stick with recapping the show instead of doing the one-liners.

TNA Final Resolution Card

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
The Main Event Mafia (Sting (c), Kevin Nash, Booker T, & Scott Steiner) v. the TNA Frontline (AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, & Team 3-D) (If TNA Frontline wins, AJ Styles will be TNA Champion)

X DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP
Sheik Abdul Bashir (c) v. Eric Young

REMATCH OR FIRED
Kurt Angle v. Rhino (Special Enforcer: Mick Foley)

TNA KNOCKOUTS CHAMPIONSHIP
Awesome Kong (c) v. Christy Hemme

TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS
Beer Money, Inc. (c) v. “The Monster” Abyss & “The Blueprint” Matt Morgan

SIX WOMEN TAG MATCH
Sharmell & The Beautiful People v. ODB, Taylor Wilde, & Roxxi

FEAST OR FIRED
Participants: The Motor City Machine Guns, The Latin American Xchange, Rock N’ Rave Infection, “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal, “The Guru” Sonjay Dutt, “Maple Leaf Muscle” Petey Williams, BG James, Consequences Creed, Curry Man, Cute Kip and Shark Boy

Pulsating Action

Wrestling the Pulse
Mark Allen
Vin Tastic
Norine
Pulse Glazer

Inside the Pulse
Todd Jackson
Murtzcellanious
Bambi Weavil

Each week, I’ll try to include links from other Inside Pulse Zones.  Check them out as well and keep in mind that Inside Pulse is your one stop shop for anything and everything!

Until Next Time

TNA Final Resolution is this Sunday!  Keep it around Pulse Wrestling as we finish up Celebrity Championship Wrestling’s first season, highlight TNA Final Resolution, and discuss the Slammys!  As always, keep reaching for those stars and have a great weekend!

Paul Marshall has been with Pulse Wrestling since September 2007. He currently does a weekly WWE Column titled "This Week In 'E". Follow him on Twitter here.