This time it seems as though my column logo here has taken on a whole new meaning, because if you’re a longtime Marvel reader and you actually spent money on SECRET INVASION – specifically it’s finale last week – it’s likely your eyes would be bleeding red beams of fury too. I gotta give credit to fellow Nexus head Matthew Stoddard, who was much kinder than anyone could possibly ask in reviewing this comic, considering the risk to his own personal health and sanity. And I’ll tell ya, I’ve looked around a few places online and frankly, I’d like anybody to write in and point me to a positive review, just so I can see what one looks like.
For those of you who made it to the very last page without passing out, you probably saw a special edition of the Editor-in-Chief’s CUP O’JOE column, where he talks up the direction the Marvel Universe is set to take in the aftermath of the Skrull invasion – “Think about it for a moment,” he says. “The Hood. Namor. Dr. Doom. Loki. Norman Osborn. These are your new rulers…With all that power, what chance do our heroes have? What surprises and evil plots do these villains have in store? If they are really united, who can oppose them?”
Yeah uh, slow down there Joey; I got a few questions of my own. First, answer me this:
What in the hell happened here? Seriously – I have no idea what I’m looking at! If you’re going to kill off a founding member of the Avengers, you’d think they’d deserve a clearer sendoff…and didn’t Ronin/Hawkeye just shoot this Skrull chick in the head with an arrow the previous issue or something? I thought we were done with her! Oh, wait…
Okay – now I guess we’re done with her. After all, we needed a way to set this up:
And that brings me to my next question: how new do I have to be to comics to buy into this? It’s as if Quesada, Bendis and company think that, because Spider-Man is the flagship of the universe, his arch-enemy has to be the baddest of that universe – and to repeat it just once more…that’s just not how things work here. Spider-Man is Marvel’s flagship because of his popularity, not because of his raw power. And that popularity comes of the fact that he’s one of the most relatable characters ever conceived. I think the writer of TALES TO MILDLY ASTONISH said it best: “I’m sorry, but I just refuse to buy Norman [Osborn] as a global-level, Luthor-type villain. It’s like making the Mirror Master ruler of Apokolips.”
Well said, dude. We really gotta hang out.
But really, folks – they may as well have scrapped DARK REIGN as a title, and just called it WHEN DOCTOR DOOM TURNS AROUND AND SCREWS EVERYBODY. And if our boy Victor doesn’t, well you can bet it’s only because Bendis is writing…and if it’s one thing he knows how to do, is find the exact opposite of decades of precedent in a continuity-intensive literary universe, and latch onto that course with an enthusiasm that would drop the jaw of David “Damn the torpedoes – Full speed ahead!” Farragut himself.
And last, but not least…
DOES EVERYBODY GET TO HAVE A WIFE, EXCEPT PETER PARKER?
It looks like they aren’t quite finished yet, but it feels like SECRET INVASION is the perfect embodiment for the sad excuse for storytelling and slipshod, forced characterization that Quesada, Bendis and the rest of their current Marvel inner circle love to pride themselves upon. With the apparent years of build-up, since NEW AVENGERS #1, all of those mischaracterizations? All of those continuity slip-ups? Part of the plan, all along! These guys like to tout their long-term plotting skill as a major selling point, and if this is their shining example, then I’m not impressed. I could plan a road trip to California, if I didn’t give a blazing monkey crap about traffic law.
You know, I think we’ve reached a point with the Big Two that “voting with your wallet” isn’t quite enough. You know what I’d like to see? A massive reader give-back.
If you bought into some “event” storyline and you’re not happy, just take’em back to your local comic book shop, slap’em down on the counter and say “I’d like to give this back.” Most places don’t do refunds or exchanges, but the point isn’t to get your money back – in fact, if you want to make it clear that your dissatisfaction is with the publisher, and not the store, ask if they can recommend something worth spending your comic book dollar on – but my point is, flipping through a comic and putting it back on the rack isn’t visible enough. Going to the counter and saying, “I bought this Marvel/DC/Image/Whomever comic, I was grossly dissatisfied and I don’t want it anymore” is.
If enough people do it, maybe the retailers will take notice, and that in turn will find its way back to the publishers. Hey, maybe it’ll even make the news!
Nevertheless, if you had your eyes open, it was possible to find a truly satisfying conclusion amidst the big two that wasn’t as polarizing as BATMAN: R.I.P., or as…well, we’ve said enough about SECRET INVASION. A few columns back I first discussed parts one and two of Matt Fraction’s THOR miniseries: THOR: AGES OF THUNDER and THOR: REIGN OF BLOOD. Finally, the conclusion came out, and there’s no argument – this one did not disappoint.
Quoting CBR.com reviewer Chad Nevett: The third “Thor” one-shot by Matt Fraction completes the story of Thor’s pride getting the best of him after watching those around him screw up and then demand his help only to be betrayed in “Reign of Blood,” when a group of humans ate his horses. Fraction tries to balance the justified anger Thor has with his disproportionate response, which is to go on a rampage across all of creation.
The language used to describe Thor’s response usually refers to it as a tantrum or the actions of a spoiled brat, placing Thor in a role we’re not used to: the impetuous youth in good need of a smack. His father, Odin, is more than happy to oblige, first sending out the Valkyrior and then confronting Thor himself. There’s a certain joy to be had in seeing Thor get taught a lesson in humility at the hands of his father.
At the same time, Fraction has built up the incompetence of Odin and the other Asgardians to such proportions that Thor’s arguments have merit and his ultimate lesson in humility seems unjust. In the previous two one-shots, the Asgardians and humans have been equally guilty of pride and foolishness, but have been able to turn to Thor for assistance. In a way, the question implied here is one of Thor’s justification for lacking humility, which he would have a good argument for.
Ultimately, the conflict here is really between young and old with each blind to their own faults, which Fraction captures wonderfully. Thor sees his pride and rage as justified, unable to see how over-the-top his reaction is, while Odin sees his role as All-Father as a free pass to behave however he wants, unable to see that he has made foolish mistakes and is just as prideful as Thor. That most of this goes unsaid directly is a very smart choice on Fraction’s part.
Now this is what I’m talking about – and it only took three issues! Real drama! Real action! Real emotion! The smallness of Gods, the rage of son against father, the blindness of conflict – whether it be between Loki and a Frost Giant, the Enchantress and Odin or Thor and Odin. Nobody sees what they have contributed to any given situation, and therein lies the beauty, the tragedy, the irony of this story. This is what a Marvel comic, at its best, should be – a modern day parable that teaches you something or makes a light bulb go off in your own head.
Throughout this miniseries we have seen what drove Thor to pitch his god-sized fit, so we can sympathize – but does that justify the wrath he visits upon the nine worlds? Of course not – but that’s youth for you. And throughout the miniseries we have seen the kinds of crap Odin has to deal with as the All-Father. But does Odin see what millenia of “Thor – go fix that mess” has wrought?
Of course not – but that’s a parent for you.
Just sayin’, is all. And oh yeah, almost forgot…
January 20th, baby…it’s gonna be like Christmas: the Sequel!
