The Gold Standard #18

Columns, Features, Top Story

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Sorry about how late last week’s was up, I put it up for review a day late and it took almost a week to get it up! Lesson learned, and I hope you regular readers won’t hold it against me! Totally not my intention, and I have no real control over when something actually gets posted. I just get to submit and wait, not that I’m complaining though, it’s a cushy job. I get to sit at my desk, smoke, watch TV, and take my time and pick my words.

AND I GET TO READ COMICS!

That’s the single best part about writing here, with you guys, the readers, being a close second. I love to read comics. I love it more than most things in this world. I have for as long as I can remember, and I don’t see it ever going away. As much as I enjoy reading, comics are what grip me. I have an affinity for a lot of the characters at Marvel and DC both, not to mention selected independent characters. The visual and serial style draws me in, and the structure holds me tight. I just love comic books. I love the crazy story arcs, I love the serialized medium, I love virtually everything about them. And as I’ve said in the past, I love super heroes especially. So when it comes time to follow along with a big event, it’s usually pretty easy to get me to hop on board. I mean, sure, there are going to be times like World War Hulk when I’m not going to pick up any books that I’m not already reading, but for the most part, I like to follow along. When Infinite Crisis hit I only skipped one of the lead in miniseries (Day of Vengeance), and with House of M it was a slightly larger skip list, but not by much. I tend to read the majority of the auxiliary titles for the simple reason that, for the most part, they tend to provide a bit more payoff then the main series.

Case in point: Secret Invasion.

Let me see here, for SI I bought:

  • Secret Invasion
  • New Avengers
  • Mighty Avengers
  • Avengers: The Initiative
  • X-Factor
  • She-Hulk
  • Thunderbolts
  • Secret Invasion: Front Line
  • Secret Invasion: Fantastic Four
  • Secret Invasion: Runaways/Young Avengers
  • Secret Invasion: Who Do You Trust?
  • Secret Invasion: X-Men
  • Nova
  • Deadpool
  • Punisher: War Journal

Pretty big list, right? I mean, compare it to Final Crisis

  • Final Crisis
  • Final Crisis: Requiem
  • Final Crisis: Legion of Three Worlds
  • Final Crisis: Rogues Revenge
  • Final Crisis: Revelations
  • Final Crisis: Submit
  • Final Crisis: Resist
  • Final Crisis: Rage of the Red Lanterns
  • DCU #0
  • Last Will and Testament

The lists don’t seem very different in length, but there’s a big difference. See, six of the books on the Final Crisis list? One shots. The SI list? One of them, the rest are at least three parts each. DC promised an event that wouldn’t kill your wallet and they delivered without issue. Marvel, on the other hand, stretched their event out, added more tie-ins as time went along, and then decided that wasn’t enough. While every event promises long terms effects and changes, it’s rare that there’s a prolonged delivery of such an act. DC has been pretty good about trying to make sure that it goes through, and that their readers can feel the aftermath as the universe unfolds out of their events and tries to keep moving forward as each book tries to find its own unique voice in the post-event universe. Marvel…..is dropping us right into the next one after feeding us an event that disappointed in every single way and feels to this reader as if they wanted to waste a year of my time just to say that Norman Osborn is the top bad guy. But hey, I like Norman, and I love the idea of him filling Marvel’s much needed “Lex Luthor” role, so why does this bug me? Well, again, the sheer amount of money wasted on this bogus crossover.

We were promised big changes and huge reveals and giant unforgettable moments. We received…..well, we got five issues of an eight issue mini where nothing happened! I honestly have managed to forget more about what happened in Secret Invasion then in probably any other title I’ve read in the past six years, and I read Chuck Austen’s Uncanny X-Men. That’s right, Austen had more memorable moments then SI. Secret Invasion gave us an over hyped event that didn’t really deliver in any regards, whether it be compelling story telling or even epic battle or art. We were “treated” to horrible pacing from the get-go that carried over until the final panel of the final page. We watched shoe-horned character developments, and had the plot unfold at time through a narrator flat out telling us what was happening. I know that the story started life as Bendis trying to tell an epic Avengers story, and in all fairness, it should have stayed that way.

Now that it’s all said and done I can confirm my earlier thoughts, that the tie-ins were stronger then the core book. That I could have just bought New, Mighty, and the Initiative and gotten the full story. That the books designed to explain and to fill in the gaps wound up stronger then the core story. Then again, when you’re pacing out one and done issues, or two parters, it’s a lot easier to carry the load of the story as you have a tighter control over the characters and content. Then again, looking at the author’s name and seeing “Bendis” leads me to believe that somebody else should have scripted the core miniseries while he did the auxiliary books. Bendis has a huge weakness, and it happens to be his greatest strength. He is amazing at character pieces, and can write a believable story with believable characters, and he can easily handle a small handful of characters. But if you give him too many then he tries to stretch the development out and he tries to add too much important to too many little things and eventually the story finds itself taking a backseat to character moments. And that’s fine, it’s cool, character moments are awesome. But when it takes you five issues to advance a half an hour into the story because you’re handing out those character moments? Yeah, doesn’t work so hot.

Secret Invasion collapsed under the weight of its own hype engine, completely crashed and burned. Sure, we get an interesting after math, but I can’t help but think that there must have been at least a half dozen other ways to get to the same outcome. But I guess that it would have been harder to bring Mockingbird back using any of them, wouldn’t it? Actually, here’s what I want out of Secret Invasion. I want a book with Hawkeye, Mockingbird, and Hawkingbird. Call it the Barton’s and have Clint and Bobby adopt Kate. Echo can guest star as the spurned lover who vanished magically about halfway through the Invasion itself after a sucker punch. After all, the last time she had speaking lines she was fucking Clint, and now he’s back with Bobbi like Maya never existed. Poor Maya, Bendis never gave her a fair chance, first she was Ronin for about five minutes, and then she gets sucker punched and vanishes in the Invasion.

Frustrating, that’s really how the majority of this is for me. I read House of M, I read Civil War, I read Messiah Complex. I read all these big Marvel events, and generally I don’t complain too much. But after Secret Invasion I may have completely lost all faith in Bendis to write anything other than a monthly book, he just can’t do it. At all. He can’t pace worth a damn, he can’t decide which characters actually deserve to have great character moments so he just spreads them around, and when it’s all said and done, the plot caves beneath the weight of all the random bullshit being thrown in.

Let’s take a look back to completely unnecessary plots developed during it, starting with the big one. Mar-Vell. It took four months to resolve him attacking the Thunderbolts, and it wound up just being that Norman talks to him and he decides to be a good guy after all and then goes and dies pretty much immediately in his next appearance in an effort to build up Noh-Varr, Noh-Varr who just flew around on a speeder bike and acted like a jackass. We’ve also got Tony Stark who spent pretty much the entire Invasion sweating and moaning about how useless he was, and now he’s getting blamed completely for it. The big hero of the Marvel universe and….he doesn’t do shit. He was completely impotent, hell, the Black Widow did more than him during her one issue of being useful. The whole thing just felt….it was horribly paced, and there was just too much of a cluster fuck.

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I almost missed it. Seriously.

I remember the promise of reuniting the trinity, and aside from Thor and Bucky talking about being dead, that didn’t happen. Thor bitched out Iron Man and told him that he still hated him, and Tony got all sad. To be honest, Buck didn’t do a whole hell of a lot other then go more public. Tony just jobbed a new way every issue. And then Thor….Thor killed Jan, only I didn’t realize it the first time through because it was done in narration. You don’t kill a founding Avenger through narration. It’s an insult. Kind of like how you don’t make you big reveal at the end be that everyone is actually ok. Seriously, every single major person impersonated by a Skrull was alive, without a single exception. Jan was the only death in the whole series that I can remember, and even with her she was shunted into another dimension instead of just traditionally dying. It was irritating beyond belief.

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The more things change…..the more nothing actually changes because we got gyped.

I’m just bitter, most likely. I invested a lot of money because of the hype machine and I honestly feel like I wasted the vast majority of it. New, Mighty, and Initiative carried the entire storyline on their backs and were the most worthwhile parts of the entire crossover.

All of that said, the Dark Reign one-shot only added to my disappointment as I felt it was some of the worst pencils that Alex Maleev has ever done (look at Namor, he looks like a fat, balding, sixty-five year old man). On top of that, Bendis completely lost touch with the voices of his cast, especially bad since he normally writes The Hood so well. Parker came across here like some common street thug, not as the Kingpin of Super Crime, and that’s unfortunate considering that he’s been such an integral part in Bendis’s books for the past several months. Emma looked great, but in her case the characterization flag was waving high above her head as well. She didn’t read like any version of Emma that I’ve seen around lately, and it just didn’t gel. She made for a fine POV character, but Bendis tried to make her too sympathetic and, well, it’s Emma Fucking Frost. She doesn’t do sympathy.

Also, allow me to voice my disappointment with Swordsman being killed like a little bitch in a flashback scene during Dark Reign. After months of being built up as someone that could potentially be a threat, especially after what Norman did to him, he gets killed like a spoiled child that got stabbed during a hissy fit. Not a death fit for a Strucker. Hell, not a death fit for the weaker Strucker. What a waste of a character that Fabian and Ellis both worked their asses off to make into a serious player in the Thunderbolts title. Andrea had a better death when people thought she was a Skrull.

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Andreas Strucker – Job Boy Bitch

Now let’s hop the fence to Final Crisis, which has five of its eight issues out. Not over by a longshot, and yet, going strong. This time around DC wisely removed tying into their monthly books with it, so as to not disrupt the pacing. It also generates a self containing element to the core mini, and adds more importance to the auxiliary titles. Why does Revelations feel important? Because it’s telling a story that no other book is. With Secret Invasion we got the story fleshed out in the tie-ins, as opposed to the core story. With Crisis, the tie-ins tell their own stores with Crisis as the backdrop. Stories that couldn’t truly be told in another way.

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Do I see who I think I see? A mighty….yes! Teth Adam! BLACK ADAM FOR LIFE!

There’s a level of creative care being taken across the DC books during this mega event that helps to add to the special nature. There haven’t been tie-ins for the sake of it, which is a huge change from your traditional crossover. I mean, look at Submit and Resist. One shots, not required reading, but both add plenty to what’s going on. They don’t try and be more then they’re supposed to be, they’re gap fillers. They fill in blanks in the story that don’t have to be answered, but it helps. Sure Submit was a bit on the weak side, but Resist was amazing. The story advanced without trivializing the core miniseries, and on top of that, it granted us a fabulously done story by Rucka, Trautman, and Sook that sets up a giant battle to come without forcing anything in the core series to be rushed or ignored. This story benefited the pacing to a large degree, and while completely optional in its necessity, it felt worth every penny to me.

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Darkseid is.

I guess this is what happens when you try to do a universe spanning crossover, encompassing as many of your characters into one oversized story as you can. There are always going to be tie-ins, and there are always going to be writers who are just unaware of how to pace them. Pretty much on par with their opposites, to be frank. So why do we buy them? Secret Invasion was horrible but I read the entire thing, why did I do that?

Simple. Because I love comics, and as much as the current story might bother me, I absolutely can’t wait to see what happens next. It’s an evolving medium, and the more chances you give the product, the more likely you are going to be to find something that you enjoy.

There’s a starman waiting in the sky

He’d like to come and meet us

But he thinks he’d blow our minds

There’s a starman waiting in the sky

He’s told us not to blow it

Cause he knows it’s all worthwhile

What can I say about Rest In Piece….that I’m not saying in the long delayed release of me and our own Pulse Glazer ranting our assess off about it. If we ever get around to formatting it (hopefully soon), it should be a real treat for you guys. Alright, fine, I’ll say something about it. I felt that if Bruce had to go out, that was one of the best possible ways to do it. No super climatic moment with an arch rival, or some over done superhero ending. He just goes out doing what he did best.

I hereby nominate Duane Swiercynski as breakout writer of the year. Sorry Glazer, but I’m STILL saying Tomasi was last year. Tomasi is having an AMAZING year, and is a candidate for any writer of the year competition, but I wouldn’t call him breakout. Swiercynski on the other hand came on to Immortal Iron Fist as a complete unknown, having only written a hand full of one shots before his runs on Cable and Iron Fist, and you know what he did? He seamlessly transitioned from the amazing work of Ed Brubaker and Matt Fraction into his own work. I didn’t even notice it, it was perfect. How many writers can honestly do that? His Cable still hasn’t found it’s legs, but Iron Fist is in the running for my book of the year.

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The best Kung-Fu

New Avengers was the epilogue to Secret Invasion, and easily one of the best single issue stories of the year. I absolutely love how Bendis writes Luke Cage and Jessica Jones, and they’re one of my top couples in comics. Gaydos completely made the issue, as despite being a Luke Cage story first and foremost, it had the perfect feel of Alias that set the perfect tone for the book. A must read book.

I’d talk about Secret Invasion here, but I doubt you read the Standard just for the lower rantings.

Dan Jurgens is back on Booster Gold as the entire creative team, as he writes and pencils, and his first issue was solid and maintained the tone that Johns and Katz had set. Booster is one of Dan’s many, many children in the DCU, and even twenty years later he still can make him intriguing. Another book that didn’t take a hit in the quality.

Is it bad that I have absolutely no idea what’s happening in Final Crisis: Revelations? Seriously, I’m fucking lost. Would being Christian help? Because I can’t do that, and we don’t have a new testament in my religion.

JLA continued its upward swing as McDuffie is still running on premium. He really is at his best telling his own stories, with his own takes on characters. I think that this book will actually benefit heavily from the upcoming exit of the big three. It’s not going to be Giffen and DeMatteis’s work, just like it’s never going to be Morrison’s. It’s Dwayne McDuffie’s. There’s a reason why his episodes of JLU were so good, and this book is channeling it well. The man knows story structure.

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And he knows that Kimiyo is a bitch.

Secret Six: Best new series. Nicola Scott: Best artist. Expect to see both on my awards column in a few weeks, not to be confused with the official Nexus awards however.

Invincible was very much in the middle this week as it featured Mark’s ex-girlfriend being a complete fucking idiot with battered wives syndrome, and his new girlfriend and him needing to figure out a way to not get caught having sex.

In Dark Reign, I have to say this, but why the fuck was Namor a 65 year old, overweight, balding male? Honestly, Maleev, who the fuck were you trying to draw? This book is on the bad end of his work, which is unfortunate since I do love his art. The issue was just…..it was a huge disappointment.

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Not Namor.

What I read last week:

  • Authority
  • Batman
  • JSA
  • Cable
  • Immortal Iron Fist
  • New Avengers
  • NYX: No Way Home
  • Secret Invasion

Best of the week:

  1. Batman
  2. New Avengers
  3. JSA

What I read this week:

  • Action Comics
  • Booster Gold
  • Detective Comics
  • Final Crisis
  • Final Crisis: Revelations
  • Green Lantern Corps
  • Justice League
  • Nightwing
  • Secret Six
  • Invincible
  • Amazing Spider-Girl
  • Astonishing X-Men: Ghost Boxes
  • Secret Invasion: Dark Reign
  • X-Men Spider-Man

Best of the week:

  1. Final Crisis
  2. Secret Six
  3. Green Lantern Corps

The Gold Standard

A lifelong reader and self proclaimed continuity guru, Grey is the Editor in Chief of Comics Nexus. Known for his love of Booster Gold, Spider-Girl (the real one), Stephanie Brown, and The Boys. Don't miss The Gold Standard.