Sex Machine – DVD Review

Film, Reviews



Twas several nights before Christmas, and all through the hut
Not a creature was stirring, not even a Satanic Slut
The barbed wire was hung, round the chimney with fear
In hopes of keeping out the Redemption Santa Claus this year.

And I was all nestled, all snug in my bed,
While my good friend Jack Daniels chased Redemption memories from my head.
When out on the lawn, the perimeter alarm peeled
And I jumped out of bed to face my worst fear.

I peeked out the window and what did I see?
A wrought iron sled pulled by leather girls on their knees.
And out stumbled the driver, so drunk and sick,
I knew by the chill in my stomach it was old Saint Dick.

He scratched his ass through his too-small gimp suit,
And even from behind the window I could tell he smelled like death and overripe fruit.
He hollered at the Sluts and cracked his whip,
And I left to check the defenses quick.

The electrified fence was charged,
The turret guns quite large,
And for good measure, beside the tree
I left him some poison milk and cookies.

The roar of machine guns filled the night air,
And I swore I smelled the stench of burnt hair.
For a moment I let myself hope,
But in the end I was fooling myself, a grade-A dope.

Because he strolled through the cloud of cordite;
A little vomit-stained, but otherwise quite all right.
He reached into his leather sack,
And laughed with a little hack.

“Have you been a bad boy this year?”
He asked while my eyes began to tear.
Then he handed me a DVD,
And my heart began to scream.

Then he left with a flash,
But not before stealing all my liquor and cash.
And as he took to the air,
I heard him declare:
“Screw you, Christmas!
And to all a bad night!”

Well, the DVD that Santa Redemption gave me this month was Sex Machine, and for a Redemption flick, I have to say it was only 75% degrading to women and humankind in general, which for them is pretty good.

Another difference between this and the usual Redemption fare is that this is the first (to my knowledge) Japanese movie they have released. It is an example of Pink Cinema, or Japanese erotica, and it looks like this will be the first of many, judging by the previews. Anyway, the movie is a softcore porn comedy about an oversexed idiot who hooks up with a single mother, the problems they have with her ex, and the weird cricket sumo fad that hits their small town.

This movie just barely misses being hardcore porn thanks to some clever editing, but regardless, there is a lot of sex going on here, and at least two scenes that make Theres Something About Mary look like a sophisticated Woody Allen-esque comedy. Its a bad sign when half of the first twenty minutes of a movie consist of two people in various sexual positions and doing things with a cucumber that I had hoped never to witness. The sex becomes so monotonous that it ends up being markedly boring.

Theres really nothing to recommend here. As a comedy it falls flat on too many levels, and as erotic it fails on many other levels.


The movie is presented in Widescreen 1.85:1 aspect ratio with the sound presented in Dolby Digital stereo. The video quality is poor compared to todays standards, showing age and grain as if it had been produced in the 1970s and not upgraded since. With just a Japanese sound track, subtitles are provided for those not fluent.


Stills Gallery

Pink Cinema Introduction – This is a text document that describes the Pink Cinema. While it was interesting, the text is incredibly small.

Short Film Showcase: Blood (9:50) Im pretty sure that this was something some art school student put together after watching too many Ingmar Bergman movies. Its nine minutes of strange, grainy shots of a woman who either is or believes she is a vampire and waxing philosophically on her condition by saying things like “My sorrow—a memory.” This short—pretentious.

PreviewsBlack Mass (00:37); The Nude Vampire (3:30); Witching Hour (5:15).


While I am glad that the level of misogyny is fairly low in this movie compared to other Redemption titles, it was still a highly unenjoyable experience. Not recommended.

………………………………………

Redemption presents Sex Machine. Directed by Yuji Tajiri. Starring Rinako Hirasawa, Mutsuo Yoshioka, Minami Aiyama, Takeshi Ito, Stechin Kawaya, Setsuhiko Kobayashi. Written by Fumio Moriya. Running time: 66 minutes. Rated NR. Released on DVD: November 18, 2008. Available at Amazon.