Chikarticles: Weekend! (1.22.2009)

Columns

Join me as I gaze into my crystal ball for Chikara’s Revelation-X coming up this Sunday.

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Chikara News as of 1.22.2009
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Point Taken
Back at the Season 8 Finale, the scheduled match of Tim Donst and Mike Quackenbush vs. Colin Delaney and STIGMA turned into Jigsaw and Quack taking on The UnStable after Donst suffered a nasty bump on the concrete floor. Jigsaw went on to defeat STIGMA, giving himself and Quack a point toward the Campeonatos de Parejas. The Osirian Portal found it unfair that they were rewarded a point considering Jigsaw wasn’t the scheduled partner of Mike Quackenbush, and complained to Leonard F. Chikarason. It turns out Portal were correct, as Chikarason announced no points were being rewarded or taken away.

More Trios Announced
– Team Pro Wrestling Guerrilla (Nick Jackson, Matt Jackson and El Generico)
– Incoherence (Hallowicked, Frightmare and Delirious)
– Mike Quackenbush, Jorge “Skayde” Rivera and ???
– The Osirian Portal (Amasis, Ophidian and Escorpio Egipcio)
– Super Smash Brothers and Create-a-Wrestler or The Fabulous Three (To be decided at Revelation X on January 25th)
– The Colony or Team FIST (To be decided at If The Airplane Is Snowed In, Put Your Bloody Skis On And Get Going! on February 20th)
– Brodie Lee, Eddie Kingston and Grizzly Redwood or Neo Solar Temple and Sami Callihan (To be decided at Motive, Means, Opportunity on February 21st)

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Chikara Point Totals
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Seven Points
Soldier Ant and Fire Ant
Will face The Osirian Portal at Revelation-X

Three Points
Mike Quackenbush and Shane Storm

Two Points
Tim Donst and Hydra
Gran Akuma and Icarus

One Point
Colin Delaney and STIGMA
Mitch Ryder and Buck Hawke
Cheech and Cloudy
Lince Dorado and Helios
Icarus and Chuck Taylor
El Hijo del Ice Cream and Ice Cream Jr.

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Chikara Trivia
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Though Soldier and Fire Ant have collected more points than any team in Chikara history, they haven’t broken the record of most wins in a row. Icarus and Gran Akuma currently hold the record with nine wins; three of which collected in one night.

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Revelation X (1.25.2009 in Philadelphia, PA) Predictions
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Cheech and Cloudy vs. The UnStable (Colin Delaney and STIGMA)
Colin Delaney and STIGMA really need a win here if they want to be taken seriously. Cheech and Cloudy are a great team, but they should be no serious challenge for former ECW Superstar Colin Delaney and current crazed-lunatic STIGMA. I’m also calling The UnStable and the duo of Mike Quackenbush and Jigsaw to face off with two points each, creating an ultra-tense showdown.
Winners: The UnStable (Colin Delaney and STIGMA)

Sara Del Rey vs. LuFisto
Sara Del Rey finally may have found her match in LuFisto this weekend. LuFisto, much like Del Rey, has a size-advantage over most female wrestlers and can duke it out with the guys when necessary. Del Rey may be heading into this match with a little ring-rust as she hasn’t faced a woman wrestler in Chikara since January 2008. Rumor has it that LuFisto has been training for this match ever since she signed the papers, and I think she’s the right wrestler to finally knock Del Rey off of the throne.
Winner: LuFisto

The Future Is Now (Helios and Lince Dorado) vs. Team FIST (Icarus and Gran Akuma)
Helios and Lince Dorado are looking to gather their 2nd point in this contest. It won’t come easy as they will be facing former Campeones de Parejas, who happen to be one of Chikara’s most dangerous tag teams. I don’t like Icarus’ odds so much in singles competition, nor do I favor Akuma’s. But when together, these two have the best chemistry out of anyone today. Let’s not forget how FIST pulled off a major upset against the Briscoe Brothers back in 2007. For now, the future will have to wait.
Winners: Team FIST (Icarus and Gran Akuma)

Incoherence (Hallowicked and Frightmare) vs. Brodie Lee and Grizzly Redwood
Hallowicked may have a win over Lee’s teammate, but Lee has the momentum coming into this match with a victory over both opponents in singles competition. Hallowicked’s win over Redwood didn’t come easy either; he had to put his all into that match! I have a bad feeling the rudos will pull one over the technicos in this match.
Winners: Brodie Lee and Grizzly Redwood

Player Uno, Player Dos and Create-A-Wrestler vs. The Fabulous Three (Mitch Ryder, Larry Sweeney and Buck Hawke)
Honestly, if Sweeney pulled that ruse over Claudio Castagnoli, The Fabulous Three will have enough tricks up their sleeves to win this King of Trios qualifier. Simply put.
Winners: Mitch Ryder, Larry Sweeney and Buck Hawke

Eddie Kingston vs. Delirious
After Chikara Officials announced this match, I pictured all of the awesome ways this match could start, climax and end. I’ve never seen this match before in any organization and I’m very excited to see it go down live. Each man can take a hell of a beating and each man is as crazy as the other. The downside for Delirious is Kingston is more crazy in a demented “I get off on breaking bones” kind of way, whereas Delirious is just straight up crazy. I have to go with Eddie Kingston on this one.
Winner: Eddie Kingston

Mike Quackenbush and Jigsaw vs. Ultramantis Black and Crossbones
Ultramantis Black has been on the bitter end of a lot of events lately. He hasn’t held a tag team point with Crossbones since June 2008, he got tricked by Tim Donst, lost Hydra and then submitted to his Hydra Lock in the Season Finale last year. Knowing the teamwork between Quack and Jigsaw, things won’t be looking up for ‘Mantis any time soon. Expect Mike Quackenbush and Jigsaw to gather the point, bringing their total back to one.
Winners: Mike Quackenbush and Jigsaw

Equinox vs. Vin Gerard (Ladder Match for the vacant Young Lions Cup)
In their last meeting, we saw Leonard F. Chikarason strip Gerard of the Young Lions Cup. The result put a huge smile on the face of Equinox as he saw his arch-nemesis red as a Target Polo Shirt, whining for Chikarason to give him the Cup back. That may have temporarily satisfied Equinox’s hunger to see Gerard a broken man, but Gerard has a chance to redeem himself this weekend. In Chikara’s very first ladder match, we will see all the stops pulled out by both men in most likely the match of their careers. Unlike last time, the only way Equinox can put Gerard to shame is by making him lose. Depending on how bad The Future Is Now do in their match against FIST, Gerard might have the advantage in numbers when The UnStable come to help him retrieve what is rightfully his. It’s time for Jimmy “Equinox” Olsen to prove himself once again.
Winner and new champion: Equinox

The Osirian Portal (Ophidian and Amasis) (C) vs. The Colony (Soldier and Fire Ant)
The Colony clearly have the advantage here with Escorpio Egipcio barred from the Arena. The fact that it’s one-fall to a finish favors The Colony heavily as not only have they won seven one-fall matches in a row, but one of those wins were against The Osirian Portal in the Tag World Grand Prix finals. In Campeonatos de Parejas matches, Osirian Portal have only won the first-fall once— and they had to ambush their opponents to pull it off. What I’m saying is Osirian Portal really have to get their stuff together if they want to walk out of ECW Arena campeones this weekend. I don’t think they’re transitional champs. The Osirian Portal will be the longest reigning Campeones de Parejas in Chikara history… BANK ON IT.
Winners and still champions: Ophidian and Amasis

Holy cow. I really favored the rudos here…

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Linkage
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Mark Allen informs us on the Titan Tower Massacre

Wiswell analyzes ROH’s negotiations with HDNet

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NEXT WEEK’S CHIKARTICLES WRESTLER OF THE WEEK: MITCH RYDER
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