Pulse Wrestling’s WWE Royal Rumble Report

Pulse Wrestling’s WWE Royal Rumble Report
Announcers: Cole & King, Tazz & JR, Striker & Grisham
Report EXCLUSIVELY for Pulse Wrestling by: PK

They welcome us with an update on Vince McMahon’s health.

‘The All-American American’ Jack Swagger (c) vs. Matt Hardy – ECW Championship
A brawl to start, as they fall to the floor quickly. Swagger tries some amateur wrestling, but Matt is having none of it. Matt with a bulldog for 2. Matt looks to go to the middle rope for his elbow, but Swagger shoves him off. Swagger takes over, but Matt hits a Side Effect for 2. Matt with another bulldog for 2. Matt calls for the Twist of Fate, but Swagger catches him with a belly-to-belly. Matt hits a very sloppy moonsault for 2. Matt goes for another Twist of Fate, but Swagger tosses him shoulder first into the ringpost, and then hits the Gutwrench Powerbomb for the pin.
Winner and Still Champion – Swagger

Earlier today, Randy Orton entered the building, getting cold stares from the rest of the WWE superstars.

Beth Phoenix (w/ Santino Marella) (c) vs. Melina – WWE Woman’s Championship
Beth overpowers Melina to start. Beth pulls Melina in a single crab, but stretches Melina’s leg so much, and Melina is kicking herself in the back of the head. Beth puts Melina on the top rope, but Melina fights her way down. Melina puts Beth on the ropes (619 style), and jumps on Beth’s back. Melina off the ropes, but Beth catches her in the wheelbarrow, however Melina floats around, and rolls up Beth for the win!
Winner and New Champion – Melina

Recap of JBL/HBK storyline.

HBK is backstage, and JBL comes in, and reminds him about his employment. However, JBL says that if he walks away with the World Title, he will pay all of HBK’s money tonight, and he will no longer need to work for him. When JBL walks away, Undertaker walks in and says ‘Sometimes, it’s Hell getting to Heaven.’

John Cena (c) vs. JBL (w/ Shawn Michaels) – World Heavyweight Title
JBL attempts to overpower Cena to start, but Cena tosses JBL to the floor. JBL and HBK talk to each other, and Cena tries to sneak up on JBL, but JBL ducks him, and Cena almost hits HBK, but JBL hits Cena from behind because of this distraction. JBL beats Cena down forever. JBL puts Cena on the top, but Cena hits a SUPERplex, and then follows it with the Famasser off the top rope. Cena goes for the Throwback, but JBL slides out, however Cena quickly tries to lock on the STF. JBL gets to the ropes. Cena goes for the Throwback again, but again JBL slides out, and goes for a big boot, but Cena moves and drills the ref with a big boot. HBK gets in the ring, and stares down Cena, but then hits JBL with Chin Music. Cena has a huge smile on his face, but HBK hits him with Chin Music! HBK lays JBL on Cena, and walks out. Another Ref comes out but Cena kicks out. Cena quickly hits the Throwback for the pin.
Winner and Still Champion – John Cena

Recap of Jeff Hardy’s misfortunes of the past few weeks.

Vickie Guerrero comes out and says that the WWE Title match will be a No Disqualification Match.

Jeff Hardy (c) vs. Edge (w/ Chavo Guerrero) – No DQ – World Heavyweight Title
They brawl for a bit, and Edge tosses Hardy to the floor, but instead of trying to get right back in, Hardy grabs a chair. Edge stops him and they brawl on the floor. Jeff hits a dive off the apron onto Edge. By the way, Jeff’s makeup tonight is reminiscent of Vampiro. Jeff hits a Twist of Fate along the apron…ouch. Jeff then slams Edge on the announce table, and then starts to rip the table apart. Jeff brings out a ladder, and lays Edge on the table, and then climbs the ladder. Chavo climbs the ladder to distract Jeff, but Jeff knocks him off. Edge is off the table, but Jeff lays Chavo on the table, and leaps off the ladder on him. Jeff is slow to get back in the ring, but Edge is there waiting, and he delivers an Impaler DDT. Edge takes off one of the turnbuckle pads, but Jeff hits a Whisper in the Wind. Jeff then goes up for the Swanton, but Vickie comes down and holds him up. Jeff kicks her off, and then hits the Swanton, but Vickie grabs the ref. Matt Hardy then comes out, tosses Vickie in the ring, and screams at her. Matt wants to Concharto on Edge, but after Jeff puts the chair under Edge’s head, Matt drills JEFF WITH THE CHAIR! Edge crawls over for the pinfall.
Winner and New Champion – Edge

Grisham with Orton, and he tells Orton that legal action will be taken tomorrow night on Raw. Jericho comes in, and he pretty much wants thinks that tonight will be Orton’s last night as an employee.

Royal Rumble Match
OK, here is the deal. There is no way in hell that I can keep track of this, so bare with me.

Entrant #1: Rey Mysterio
Entrant #2: John Morrison

Both men have a few near eliminations.

Entrant #3: Carlito

Carlito comes in on fire, and this Morrison with is springboard Moonsault.

Entrant #4: MVP

MVP this Morrison with what JR called ‘The Drive-By,’ which is a Shinning Wizard, but with a Big Boot instead of a enzaguri.

Entrant #5: The Great Khali

Khali cleans house.

Entrant #6: Vladimir Kozlov

Kozlov charges Khali to start, and he easily eliminates Khali

Elimination #1: Great Khali (Kozlov)

Kozlov keeps cleaning house, taking care of MVP & Carlito

Elimination #2: MVP (Kozlov)
Elimination #3: Carlito (Kozlov)

Entrant #7: Triple H

HHH & Kozlov go toe to toe. HHH hits the knee to face, then a crotch chop, and then an elimination on Kozlov.

Elimination #4: Kozlov (HHH)

Morrison jumps HHH from behind.

Entrant #8: Randy Orton

The match opens up a bit now, and Mysterio hits a 619 on Morrison. The clock goes down, and Cryme Tyme’s music hits. Only one of them can be in, and JTG tosses a coin, and wins. When JTG gets in the ring, Shad sees that it was a double sided coin.

Entrant #9: JTG

JTG hits that awesome neckbreaker on Morrison.

Entrant #10: Ted DiBiase

JTG & Morrison are both hanging off the top ropes, and they try to kick each other. Elsewhere, Mysterio tries to leg scissors DiBiase, but DiBiase hangs on.

Entrant #11: Chris Jericho

Jericho targets Orton right away.

Entrant #12: Mike Knox

Knox, not surprisingly, attacks Mysterio right away. Elsewhere, Orton & DiBiase try to eliminate JTG.

Entrant #13: The Miz

Miz & Morrison try to double team, but Orton fires up, and hits Morrison, Miz and JTG with RKO’s, but HHH hits Orton with a Pedigree. HHH then eliminates Miz & Morrison. Jericho tries to follow it up with Mysterio, but Mysterio lands on Miz, and steps over on Morrison, then back in the ring.

Elimination #5: Morrison (HHH)
Elimination #6: The Miz (HHH)

Entrant #14: Finlay

Entrant #15: Cody Rhodes

Mysterio tries to springboard on Orton, but Orton catches him in a RKO.

Entrant #16: The Undertaker

Taker’s music hits, and they all stop to look up the ramp, and Taker cleans up a bit.

Elimination #7: JTG (Undertaker)

Entrant #17: Goldust

Goldust and Cody go toe to toe, but Orton hits the RKO on Goldust, and Cody eliminates him.

Elimination #8: Goldust (Rhodes)

Entrant #18: CM Punk

Punk goes after HHH, but HHH goes for the Pedigree, however CM reverses it into the GTS.

Entrant #19: Mark Henry

Entrant #20: Shelton Benjamin

Punk and Jericho are on the top for some reason, and Shelton leaps up and hits a Double Paydirt on the both of them.

Entrant #21: William Regal

Taker big boots Henry, and Mysterio holds down the ropes and Henry goes over the top.

Elimination #9: Henry (Undertaker)

Entrant #22: Kofi Kingston

Taker tosses Shelton over the top.

Elimination #10: Shelton Benjamin (Undertaker)

Entrant #23: Kane

Kane and Undertaker look to team up, and hit a double choke slam on DiBiase. Elsewhere, Punk tosses Regal.

Elimination #11: Regal (Punk)

Entrant #24: R-Truth

After the clock ticks, “ONE OF A KIND” blares!!

Entrant #25: ROB VAN DAM

RVD hits pretty much hits everyone in the ring.

Entrant #26: THE Brian Kendrick

Kendrick quickly eliminations Kofi, but then gets tossed by HHH.

Elimination #12: Kingston (Kendrick)
Elimination #13: Kendrick (HHH)

Entrant #27: Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler tries to introduce himself to Kane, and Kane tosses him right out.

Elimination #14: Ziggler (Kane)

Entrant #28: Santino Marella

Santino dives in the ring, but Kane clotheslines him right out…1 second…NEW RECORD!

Elimination #15: Marella (Kane)

Entrant #29: ‘Hacksaw’ Jim Duggan

Entrant #30: The Big Show

Hacksaw tries to take out Show, but Show is just too much for him.

Elimination #16: Duggan (Big Show)

Big Show press slams Truth out of the ring.

Elimination #17: R-Truth (Big Show)

Punk on the apron, and Show hits a big right hand for the elimination.

Elimination #18: Punk (Big Show)

Finlay is trying to toss Mysterio & Knox, but Show comes over and tosses all 3 over the top, however Finlay stays on the apron.

Elimination #19: Mysterio (Big Show)
Elimination #20: Knox (Big Show)

Hornswoggle distracts Kane as Finlay tries to attack, but it doesn’t work, as Kane back body drops him.

Elimination #21: Finlay (Kane)

Undertaker & Show go punch for punch, but at the same time RVD hits Orton with a 5 Star, but Jericho tosses RVD right out.

Elimination #22: RVD (Jericho)

Jericho turns around right into Undertaker, who quickly disposes him.

Elimination #23: Jericho (Undertaker)

The Legacy works together to take out Kane.

Elimination #24: Kane (Orton, DiBiase, Rhodes)

Show and Taker fight on the apron, and Orton comes over and hits a RKO on Show on the top rope and Show falls to the floor.

Elimination #25: Big Show (Orton)

Taker slugs Orton, and Priceless goes after Taker, only for Show to pull Taker to the floor.

Elimination #26: Undertaker (Big Show…I guess)

Final Four: HHH, Orton, Rhodes, & DiBiase

The Legacy beats down HHH, however when Orton goes for an RKO, HHH shoves him off, and tosses DiBiase, and then Rhodes.

Elimination #27: DiBiase (HHH)
Elimination #28: Rhodes (HHH)

Right after Rhodes is tosses, Orton comes from behind HHH and tosses him for the win.

Elimination #29: HHH (Orton)

Winner – Randy Orton

Entrant Order:
1) Rey Mysterio
2) John Morrison
3) Carlito
4) MVP
5) Great Khali
6) Vladimir Kozlov
7) Triple H
8) Randy Orton
9) JTG
10) Ted DiBiase
11) Chris Jericho
12) Mike Knox
13) The Miz
14) Finlay
15) Cody Rhodes
16) The Undertaker
17) Goldust
18) CM Punk
19) Mark Henry
20) Shelton Benjamin
21) William Regal
22) Kofi Kingston
23) Kane
24) R-Truth
25) Rob Van Dam
26) THE Brian Kendrick
27) Dolph Ziggler
28) Santino Marella
29) ‘Hacksaw’ Jim Duggan
30) The Big Show

Elimination Order:
1) Great Khali (Kozlov)
2) MVP (Kozlov)
3) Carlito (Kozlov)
4) Kozlov (HHH)
5) Morrison (HHH)
6) The Miz (HHH)
7) JTG (Undertaker)
8) Goldust (Rhodes)
9) Henry (Undertaker)
10) Benjamin (Undertaker)
11) Regal (Punk)
12) Kingston (Kendrick)
13) Kendrick (HHH)
14) Ziggler (Kane)
15) Marella (Kane)
16) Duggan (Big Show)
17) R-Truth (Big Show)
18) Punk (Big Show)
19) Mysterio (Big Show)
20) Knox (Big Show)
21) Finlay (Kane)
22) RVD (Jericho)
23) Jericho (Undertaker)
24) Kane (Orton, DiBiase, Rhodes)
25) Big Show (Orton)
26) Undertaker (an eliminated Big Show)
27) DiBiase (HHH)
28) Rhodes (HHH)
29) HHH (Orton)

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