WWE: The World is Watching!
We open up RAW with highlights from what Randy Orton did last week.
Your 2009 Royal Rumble winner, Randy Orton, comes out to the arena flanked by the Legacy and a few important people. Business sure as hell seems to be picking up tonight. He tells us who he is and he introduces his lawyers and therapist alongside his stablemates. He’s here to talk about last week. Unfortunately, something else is a part of Randy Orton, something that he has had for quite sometime. I.E.D. Intermittent Explosive Disorder. He discusses IED, which is a mental condition. So that’s what happened to “he who should not be named”. He was provoked last week. He goes on saying that he is not responsible for his actions. The WWE knew of his condition, but they did nothing about it. So, the story goes that if Stephanie fires Randy tonight, he will sue the WWE and Stephanie. That’s just one lawsuit. Here comes the second one. He won the 2009 Royal Rumble, proving he’s on top of the world. He will sue for breach of contract if for some reason he cannot compete at Wrestlemania. If that can’t be enough, if something happens to Randy, Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes will walk.
He’s not done yet. He gets another piece of paper and he apologizes for the trauma that happened to Vince last week. He apologizes for how the family is dealing with the experience. He hopes that the incident can be put aside so they can move forth. Huge “You Suck” chants emit from the crowd. The commentators talk about this and I’m coming to a conclusion that something will go down tonight. Stephanie looks on the big screen TV so pissed off that she wants to kill.
Commercials.
Tag Team Titles are on the line for our opening contest!
Cryme Tyme v. The Miz & John Morrison
WWE Tag Team Championships
Sorry for the delay, trying to get Twitter up on here for everyone to follow. The match starts and we’re on our way. JTG and Miz are in the ring and Miz is over JTG. Corner to corner we go and JTG hits the Mugshot for a two count. JTG gets sent out and onto the apron. Morrison gets involved, which allows JTG to get taken out to the floor. Back in the ring and Morrison is the legal man. We’re making a record this week as this is the longer than their bout last week. Shad comes in and he cleans house! Morrison goes up and over, but Shad eats a boot. That stops the offense for a second, POWERSLAM HITS FOR TWO! Morrison goes for the Moonlight Drive and Shad hits the STO for a close TWO! Miz interrupts the match and is taken out by JTG. Shad takes out Miz and Morrison hits the Moonlight Drive for the pin.
Winners and STILL Tag Team Champions: John Morrison & The Miz
Grade: C
Jerry Lawler say that the show must go on, and in three weeks it will be NO…WAY…OUT! This calls for the return of the Elimination Chamber. We get the video on the match. We will get two Chamber matches at No Way Out and both World Titles will be on the line. JBL comes out and he announces that Shawn Michaels will compete against John Cena and if Shawn wins, JBL will be in the Chamber.
Commercials.
We’re back and I lost the Twitter feed. You can follow all of us at pulsewrestling and you can follow me at pulsepaul. Hopefully I can have the widget for you next week since I’m wanting to reach out to our readers as much as I can.
We’re going to get the World Television Premiere of Cena’s new movie, 12 Rounds, later tonight. Here is our first of six Elimination Chamber Qualifying Matches!
Kofi Kingston v. Kane
Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match
The bell sounds and Kofi kicks away at nothing. He leaps for faith, but gets slammed to the canvas. Kane continues the assault in the corner and Kofi crawls to the other corner. Pillar to post we go and Kofi is squashed like a bug for two. We play go around the corners a bit, but Kofi gets out of dodge. He eats a kick anyway and Kane goes up top. He hits the clothesline and the end is near for Kofi Kingston. Kofi is back up and HE HITS AN ENZUGIRI FROM OUT OF NOWHERE! He runs the ropes and Kane gozzles away. Up Kofi goes and he counters to a sunset flip for the win! This week, Kane is a victim of being upset again.
Winner: Kofi Kingston
Grade: C-
We recap Orton’s actions from last week.
Cena v. Michaels TONIGHT!
Commercials.
We’re back and it’s TIME TO BREAK THE WALLS DOWN! Everyone’s favorite hypocrite is on the stage, receiving a mild reaction. He talks about Mickey Rourke, the star of The Wrestler. We get a teaser of the film and Jericho says that Ric Flair gave the video a raving review. Ric gave Mickey some bad advice. We go to last night, where Mickey Rourke talks about coming to Wrestlemania and he will kick Chris Jericho’s ass. Jericho is not pleased. Jericho says that Mickey Rourke is out of line. Jericho IS OFFENDED! He is gone.
In the locker room, JBL discusses things to Shawn. Shawn did everything he could to make JBL win the match, but it backfired. JBL wants one more match from Michaels and tonight is his last chance. That match is NEXT!
Commercials.
Wrestlemania Rewind: It all began in 1985. We get the birth of Wrestlemania.
Shawn Michaels (Proxy for JBL) v. John Cena
Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match
The bell sounds and it is GO TIME! Cena and Michaels GO AT IT to start off. Michaels gets the advantage and we go corner to corner. Cena goes for the ThrowDown, but Michaels counters. ThrowBack attempt is blocked and Michaels takes a powder. We take a break.
Commercials.
Tomorrow Night on ECW:Â Matt Hardy has just gotten started.
We’re back as Cena gets a one count on Michaels. FIGURE FOUR is locked on, but Cena quickly reverses it! BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX BY CENA AND THAT GETS TWO! Cena locks on the head and Michaels tries to get some breathing room. Michaels gets up and he guts his way out of it. He goes after Cena and gets backdropped in the ring. Cena takes Michaels and whips him to the corner and Michaels bumps awkardly on the mat. Michaels telegraphs a Cena move and he goes after him. Lariat connects and Michaels kips up. VINTAGE MICHAELS! Atomic Drop, Scoop Slam, and he’s going to the top, but Cena is quick. Michaels catches him and Cena gets a drop toe hold into the STF, but Michaels gets out. VINTAGE CENA! Shoulder tackles connects and Cena hits the Protobomb! THROWBACK TIME! NO! Michaels LOCKS ON THE CROSSFACE! Cena plays SUPER CENA, but he collaspes and the face turns purple. CENA TRIES AGAIN AND HE HAS MICHAELS UP IN THE THROWBACK! Michaels elbows the neck and Cena gets the STF applied! Chioda tells JBL to stay away from the ropes. Michaels edges to the ropes and he grabs it! Cena breaks the hold. Cena fights to his feet and Michaels takes his time. Throwback attempt is countered to a sunset flip for TWO! Cena gets bashed to the corner turnbuckle and Shawn follows with the chops. Corner to corner we go and Shawn oversells…CLOTHESLINE! Both men are feeling the effects and Michaels is the first one up. Scoop Slam connects and Michaels leaves the ring. JBL asks him to SUPERKICK HIM! Michaels says he’s gonna do it his way. Cena shoves JBL into Michaels and this is enough for the THROWBACK! Cena covers for the win!
Winner: John Cena
Grade: B-
JBL enters the ring to face a beaten Shawn Michaels. JBL looks to the heavens and he looks down at Shawn before we go to YET ANOTHER RECAP OF WHAT RANDY DID LAST WEEK! We’ve seen it enough tonight. Earlier tonight, Orton explained his actions.
We’re backstage with T-Grish and Stephanie. She promises action tonight, but she’s going to do it publicly and to Orton’s face. OOOH SHE’S PISSED!
Commercials.
WWE Rewind: Melina wins the Women’s Championship last night!
The red carpet is rolled out and here comes our new Women’s Champion, Melina. She walks down the ramp and she makes it to the ring. Time for a divas tag match!
Melina & Kelly Kelly v. Beth Phoenix & Jillian Hall (w/Santino Marella)
Santino joins commentary and calls MC the leaner JR, HAHA! Beth beats the holy hell out of Melina to strat off. Melina takes it to Beth and MC congrats Santino for his 1.9 second Rumble performance. He wasn’t ready. Jillian and Kelly get respective tags and they trade arm wringers. Kelly goes Old School, Taker style, and flips Jillian around. Kelly lands on the apron and gets knocked off from a Phoenix distraction. Jillian tags in Phoenix and she beats Kelly up. She drops an elbow to the mat, but Beth tries to prevent the tag. Jillian has the ref distracted and Rosa Mendez drops Melina like a bad habit. The GlamSlam connects and that is all.
Winners: Beth Phoenix & Jillian Hall
Grade: C-
I must be nice tonight. We get another Wrestlemania Rewind. This time comes from Wrestlemania 21, where the stars mimic Hollywood. This was the first Wrestlemania where Money in the Bank was featured.
Commercials.
WWE Slam of the Week: Rey gets beat up by Mike Knox and wins via DQ.
Rey Mysterio v. William Regal (w/Layla)
Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match
The bell sounds and Regal gets kicked. Regal can’t get any offense going as Rey flies off with a seated senton. Hurrancurana attempt is countered into a front face slam. Regal has Mysterio in the corner and he beats Rey into a cover for two. Headlock applied and Rey gets out of it. He kicks away and he goes off the ropes…COUNTER BY REGAL FOR TWO! Regal keeps on the pressure for a couple two counts. He drops the knee on the skull for two. Rey gets set up in the corner. Pillar to post we go and Regal follows with a forearm for two. He lays into Rey with haymaker like shots and gets another two. Knee to the gut and Regal attempts the Regalplex…Rey counters with an arm drag! Regal gets kicked, but nails a slam for two. Rey flips Regal around and Regal gets sent to the ropes. 619 connects and Rey hits the splash for the win! Damn, I wanted Regal in the Chamber.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
Grade: C+
Commercials.
WWE the Music Volume 9: Voices is in stores TOMORROW!
We’re back and we go to Rosa and Santino. She talks about taking a stand and Beth is not amused. She smiles and says that she can be kept. Santino is happy. Time for the trailer to 12 Rounds, in theatres March 27th!
Up next: PUNK/JERICHO!
Commercials.
We are back on RAW and this is undoubtedly OUR MAIN EVENT MATCH!
CM Punk v. Chris Jericho
Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match
The bell sounds and they lock up. PUNK HITS A HALF NELSON SLAM to start things off and he takes it to Jericho in the corner. Pillar to post we go and JERICHO SWEEPS THE LEG ON THE SECOND ROPE! Jericho assumes control and he slaps away. Headlock is applied, but Punk gets out of it. High kick to the face and Punk is all business tonight. Knee lift and Bulldog connects and Punk springboards off the ropes for TWO! Punk sets Jericho up on the top turnbuckle and he has evil intentions. FLIP HURRANCURANA CONNECTS AND JERICHO KICKS OUT AT TWO! GTS attempt and Jericho counters with a backslide for two. We trade covers and Jericho tries the Walls, but he gets flipped on top of Punk. Jacknife cover by Punk, but Jericho reverses to a backslide, but aims for the Codebreaker to WIN!
Winner: Chris Jericho
Grade: C+
That match should had gone fifteen or twenty.
We get a much better video of what Randy did last week to Vince McMahon, but it is still kinda overkill. The Stephanie/Randy confrontation is NEXT!
Commercials.
We are back for the last time tonight! Stephanie McMahon makes her way to the ring and she has a lot on her mind tonight. She is not buying Randy’s actions earlier tonight and she wants him to come out to the ring RIGHT…NOW! Randy is happy to oblige and he has the Orton Fan Club with him STILL! Randy wants Stephanie to ask her this question. He reiterates that if she fires him that she will have a nightmare. The lawyer comes in and Stephanie interveres and asks if this is a threat. Randy goes a step further saying that if he is fired, there will be no Wrestlemania. The RAW Locker Room suddenly empties out, flanked by Chris Jericho. Orton isn’t backing down and he goads Stephanie to fire him. HE GETS ON HIS KNEES AND BEGS TO BE FIRED. They get face to face and Stephanie says that firing him would be too easy. She has bigger plans and better ideas.
HERE COMES THE MONEY! Shane McMahon stares a hole into Randy Orton and he takes his jacket off. Stephanie is smiling as Shane hits the ring. Shane inches closer and Randy backs down and lets Rhodes and DiBiase take care of bueiness. Shane attacks and the Legacy tie Shane up! Shane breaks loose and Shane goes after Orton. Legacy breaks it up again, DiBiase is taken out and Rhodes tries to take care of Shane. Shane breaks out of it and he beats up Cody. Orton leaves the ring and Shane leaves the ring. The entire RAW Locker room has had enough and they break it apart. Shane snaps and he asks where Randy left.
Show Over.
The RAW Report Card
Chris Jericho d. CM Punk: C+
Rey Mysterio d. William Regal: C+
Beth Phoenix & Jillian Hall d. Melina & Kelly Kelly: C- (least the wrestling wasn’t that sloppy tonight)
John Cena d. Shawn Michaels: B-
Kofi Kingston d. Kane: C-
John Morrison & The Miz d. Cryme Tyme: C
Extra Credit: Opening Promo
The Final Grade for WWE RAW 1.26.2009: C+
Tonight’s show was better than last week in terms of execution, however I wasn’t particularly a fan of the ending because it looked terrible on paper. Logic says that Stephanie should had suspended Randy Orton for 60 days. It would have been classified as a medical suspension, WWE doctors determine Randy as inable to compete. Oh well, this way around can guarantee a decent match between Shane and Randy. See you later this week.
