2008 was a great year here at the Bad Ass Cinema. Last year was filled to the brim with gun toting, scumbag shooting, world saving, Kung fu punching, super crazy ass kickers. It was really amazing how many top notch Action flicks made their way into theaters, and even a few kids movies managed to be action packed. Needless to say, I took in as many as I could. So with that, I present this list.
Ever feel like the world is against you? I swear, I just get internet back so I can start writing again, and then we end up getting an ice storm the news calls “The Worst Disaster to Hit Kentucky EVER”. This thing comes down and robs me of not only the internet, but power altogether for a few days, which let me tell you, is not fun. Not fun at all. So to say it’s been a bit of a rough patch in my neck of the woods would be a bit of an understatement.
How bad has it been? You guys ever feel like you’re living in a Horror movie? Like any minute something horrible is about to happen and there’s nothing you can really do to stop it? Well, that’s what it’s been like at the old Sutton household for the last few days. On the first night of the storm the power went out. I did have a friend with power and heat at his house just 200 yards away, my little band consisting of my girlfriend and roommate decided to make the trek, but with all the trees and branches falling, ice everywhere, and the street covered in complete darkness, I can tell you that I was pretty uneasy. Not as uneasy as I would have been if I’d heard cries for “Brains!” or if there was a dude in a hockey mask walking toward us, but it wasn’t the best feeling in the world either.
Still, we made it there without killing each other. Thankfully, everything is pretty much back to normal, and none of my evening activities revolve around how many candles or flashlights we have in the house, and I don’t have to worry about conserving any power in my phone or laptop. I’m at least back to the late 20th century.
Speaking of late, I can also now get on to the very, very late business at hand. I actually kind of hate writing this after so many delays, especially that it’s now February, but I’ve been planning this for months, and I’ve actually been working diligently with a few others to compile this list, so you guys are getting it whether you want it or not. Even outside of natural disasters, it was a little tough to come up with a list like this.
You see, 2008 was a great year here at the Bad Ass Cinema. Last year was filled to the brim with gun toting, scumbag shooting, world saving, Kung fu punching, super crazy ass kickers. It was really amazing how many top notch Action flicks made their way into theaters, and even a few kids movies managed to be action packed. Needless to say, I took in as many as I could. So with that, I present this list.
The Bad Asses of 2008
25. Detective Tom Ludlow, played by Keanu Reeves – Street Kings
“Alright, Disco. You see those yahoos? I’m going to jam them. And when I do, one of them’s going to bolt. That’s the one that’s dirty.”
Now, Keanu has played cops and action heroes before, but I don’t know that I’ve ever seen the guy as grizzled as he is in this movie. Sure, not all of the performance rings true, as we don’t quite buy him as an alcoholic, but when the shooting starts, Reeves has the goods as much as he’s ever had, and the “Cop on the Edge” mode he goes with here fits him more than it doesn’t. After writing Reeves off following The Matrix sequels, the guy continues to surprise me with performances that seem to stretch his screen persona and start to make him into a better and better actor each time out.
24. Hancock, played by Will Smith – Hancock
“The way you deal with bullies – you take your right foot, bring it right up and catch him in his little piss pump.”
Sure, Hancock wasn’t really able to live up to its hype, but none of the movie’s problems really rest with Will Smith. In fact, Smith’s Hancock is the only reason to really watch the movie, as his disheveled superhero is played with pretty much reckless abandon. Not letting any rules govern his existence, Hancock does what he wants when he wants to, and the results cause absolute havoc when he shows no restraint. It’s Smith who brings humanity to this god who can’t be stopped by any force on Earth, as the chaos around him seems to only worsen his loneliness, and we buy it whether he’s giving an emotional recount or pounding the crap out of a thug. With Smith is at the top of his game, its too bad the movie lets him down as much it does.
23. Racer X, played by Matthew Fox – Speed Racer
“The only way you’ll ever stop these people is to bring them to justice.”
It’s a travesty that one of the most exhilarating movies of the summer was met with such distain by audiences, and movie’s like Paul Blart: Mall Cop and others of its ilk are somehow thriving. Speed Racer was a crazy awesome time at the movies, and Fox’s Racer X stood tall as the coolest and most bad ass character of the whole bunch. The “Harbinger of Boom” was a nightmare for the bad guys on the race track, and apparently a Kung fu master out of it, taking out ninjas and gangsters alike with his swift kicks and fists of fury. Plus, he had one of the coolest costumes of the whole year.
22. Frank Martin (AKA: The Transporter), played by Jason Statham – Transporter 3
“Do I look like a man who came half-way across Europe to die on a bridge?”
Sure, Transporter 3 is the worst movie of this series, yet there’s still a lot to be said for watching Jason Statham wipe the floor with armies of bad guys and or witnessing The Transporter’s driving prowess while motoring through Europe. The formula may be wearing a bit thing, but Statham is still awesome to watch, proudly taking on the role of Action hero in the same way Stallone did in the 80’s and Seagal did in the 90’s. Statham is proudly flouting his Action goods here, and its still fun, even with the diminishing returns.
21. The Hulk/Bruce Banner, played by The Hulk/Edward Norton – The Incredible Hulk
“Hulk Smash!”
Well, introspective Hulk, this is not. This is balls to the wall, crush everything in sight Hulk, and you better not get in his way. Billion dollar super weapons and human killing machines mean nothing to this green one-monster wrecking ball. This is the Hulk that everyone wanted, and they pretty much get it here, as he tears through heavies and heavy machinery, but still ends up saving the day. I also like how Edward Norton’s Bruce Banner also gets some action in the flick, with a terrific chase through streets of Rio as he escapes from capture by US government cronies. Hopefully, we get some more smashing as soon as possible.
20. Lu Yan, played by Jackie Chan- The Forbidden Kingdom
“We can kill each other later.”
You know what makes me happy? That even though he’s well into his 50’s, Jackie Chan can still go. Like the immortal he plays in The Forbidden Kingdom, Chan seems to be eternally young, and he still has the moves to prove it. Playing a drunken master like nobody else ever could, Chan lights up Kingdom with his incredible comic timing, and his usual acrobatics and martial arts awesome. What could have been an absolutely horrid Hollywood suckfest ends up one of the best entertainments of the year, and a big reason why is because Jackie Chan is a treasure who never seems to lose his luster.
19. Tai Lung, Voiced by Ian McShane – Kung Fu Panda
“Finally… oh, yes… at last, the power of the Dragon Scroll shall be mine!”
I’m sure I wasn’t the only one surprised by just how good Kung Fu Panda ended up being, what shouldn’t have been surprising was how good Ian McShane’s voice work was when it came to the movie’s villain, Tai Lung. The character is an awesome construction, the epitome of a Kung Fu movie villain, complete with insane acrobatics and unbelievable fury, he just so happens to be some sort of snow leopard.
18. Silent Monk, played by Jet Li – The Forbidden Kingdom
“…”
I’m not sure why, but Jet Li hasn’t ever really had much success when its come to Western movies. Kiss of the Dragon and Unleashed both have their fans, but the less said about The One, the third Mummy movie, War, and pretty much everything else stateside, the better. Fortunately, The Forbidden Kingdom can only fall into the “awesome” Jet Li category, the man fights Jackie Chan in the movie, and believe it or not, this thing almost lives up to the hype. This is a terrifically stoic role for Li, and he gets to really not only match fists with Chan, but comic wits as well, producing one of the star’s funniest roles. His showdown with Colin Chou (The Matrix Reloaded, Flashpoint) at film’s end is also one of the best of the year, and the Monk’s final moments in the film are a thing of beauty.
Alright boys and girls, I’ll see you next week for the next installment of the list. Let’s keep our fingers crossed that I’ll not have any more natural disasters between now and then!
