Total Nonstop Weekly – 2.5.2009

Welcome to the best thing in life.  This is Total Nonstop Weekly and we’re playing with fire today with the stories being brought up.  As always, the purpose of this column is to give everyone an idea as to what is going on in the collective minds of Vince Russo, Dixie Carter, and Jeff Jarrett.  I take a big story making headlines and I provide some feedback, whether good or bad.  I follow up with rapid fire TNA news that needs no hype, find some videos for you to watch, and a whole lot more.  Let’s kick it off with the big story.

Main Event Mafia Extends Job Offer to Former Illinois Governor

I’ve got this column and it’s ******* golden, and, uh, uh, I’m just not giving it up for ******* nothing. I’m not gonna do it. Normally, I try to stray away from the political aspects of wrestling.  This week, I have to speak my mind on what is practically the dumbest idea that doesn’t involve the fake Sarah Palin. When news broke out about Rod Blagojevich being offered a job as “Chairman” of the Main Event Mafia, the only thing on my mind was this.

SERIOUSLY?

I’m from Illinois and this makes me go crazy.  I hated when TNA went ahead with the “Sarah Palin” investment.  But it is true, Kurt Angle likes Illinois style of politics that he offered Blagojevich the chance to sell seats for the Main Event Mafia.  Granted that there’s no way in hell that Rod will accept this generous offer, who will play the part of “Blagojevich”?  Better question…why do we even need this?  Surely TNA knows that celebrities don’t sell your shows or add new viewers.  WWE’s “Rosie v. Donald”, Big Show v. Floyd Mayweather, Big Show v. Akebono, or the necrophilia angle with Triple H and a mannequin did not sell anything.  TNA is supposed to be the alternative, but this shows nothing more than a stunt begging everyone to pay attention to TNA.  Needless to say, I wouldn’t be surprised if Rod really does this because he was on TV the last two weeks proclaiming his innocence and being on iMPACT would give him another medium to try to convince us that he is not guilty.  Just think what would happen if the verdict does state that Rod is innocent?

On the good side, it’s noted that Rod Blagojevich is a former boxer.  Hey, if Butterbean can transition from boxing to wrestling, Rod should be fine.  Here’s hoping that Rod takes the offer because it will be enjoyable in a sadistic way to see Rod get his ass kicked on national television.  In the end, however, it is a genuinely dumb idea.

New Investor Interested in TNA?

As reported here on the Pulse, there is a new investor interested in buying into TNA.  The clue given is that the person is a female.  This week, I’ll provide a Who’s Who list as to who are the top contenders for this interesting angle.

1. Karen Angle – Would it be a ruse that the supposed Kurt and Karen split was a work?  That would dismiss the rumor of Kurt getting freaky with Rhaka Khan.  Not only that, but it would give the Main Event Mafia the power it needs to overrule Mick Foley and provide an interesting twist in the epic angle between the MEM and Frontline.

2. “Sarah Palin” – This one screams obvious that anyone can see it coming for miles away.

3. Tracy Brooks – She is the long arm of Knockout Law and we haven’t seen her much on television.  This would be  a perfect role to give to her since she has experience in keeping the Knockouts in line, for the most part.  However, this might not be an obvious pick unless she turns heel.  More on this in a bit.

4. Christy Hemme – She’s out due to a neck injury, so she would be okay for the role which wouldn’t require taking any bumps.  Again, she would most likely have to turn heel for this role.

I originally had Torrie Wilson as my guess as a comment to the news post that posted over the weekend, but I did some thinking and I came to the conclusion that whoever the new investor is, they would have to side with the Main Event Mafia and be the opposite to what Foley is as a shareholder.  It is almost safe to say that no one that used to work for the WWE would fit this description.

TNA Rapid-Fire

It appears that Christy Hemme’s injury wasn’t as serious as first reported because she was reported being in the ring at a recent indy show.  Either that, or she elected to do the John Cena surgery and found a doctor that is wackier than Kurt Angle’s neck doctor.

TNA will be touring Germany in late September.  Tickets are available through this website.

Click here to watch Cute Kip take on Jay Lethal in this week’s TNA web match.

James Storm will appear on the March 5th episode of “World’s Toughest Cowboy.”

Kevin Nash v. Samoa Joe was supposed to happen this weekend, but due to Nash’s staph infection, that has been changed.

TNA iMPACT in Review (1.29.2009)

I’ll be shorter this week with my analysis.  We opened up with a hostile takeover of TNA iMPACT by the Main Event Mafia.  Kevin Nash and Booker T were on commentary, while Scott Steiner was the ring announcer and Sharmell was an interviewer.  The first hour gave us more wrestling than the first hour in the past few weeks.  We had the Kongtourage annihiliate ODB in a handicap match, we had Matt Morgan dismantle Petey Williams, two referees were killed, and the Mafia made sure that 3-D didn’t get a clean win over Sting.  Yes folks…four matches in hour one.

Then Mick Foley took over and made the 2nd hour pitting the Mafia at a disadvantage.  Steiner lost to Abyss via DQ in a Hardcore Match (for Abyss only) and Kurt Angle cleanly pinned Homicide in an exciting handicap match that also featured Hernandez.  More matches were announced for Against All Odds and I will have those for you in a bit.

Check out the play-by-play coverage here and 10 Thoughts on iMPACT here.

TNA iMPACT Preview (2.5.2009)

Samoa Joe returns and he is mad!  What will his reaction be as he addesses the men that took him out?  Also, we’re on the home stretch as we test the loyalty between Sting and Kurt Angle when they face the IWGP Tag Team Champions, Team 3-D, in a non-title Tag Team Match.  Brutus Magnus will make his official TNA iMPACT debut tonight!

This and more tonight on iMPACT.  Keep it here to the Pulse tonight for Daniel Douglas’ real time report!

TNA Ratings News

Last week’s iMPACT scored a 1.2 rating (rounded from a 1.18), higher than the week prior by a tenth of a point.  It is noted that hour one was a 1.3 (rounded from a 1.27) and hour two was a 1.1 (rounded from a 1.11).  Hour one did not feature Mike Tenay and Don West, which should send a message to TNA officials as to if they are still worth keeping or if they should be dropped.  Execution will be key this week if TNA can maintain the 1.2 rating or climb to the 1.3 rating threshold.

TNA Against All Odds Card

The following matches are announced for Against All Odds this upcoming Sunday night on Pay-Per-View.

TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Kurt Angle vs. Brother Ray v. Brother Devon vs. “The Icon” Sting (c)

TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
“Black Machismo” Jay Lethal & Consequences Creed vs. Beer Money (c)

KNOCKOUTS CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
ODB vs. Awesome Kong (c)

Booker T vs. Referee Shane Sewell

Abyss vs. “The Blueprint’ Matt Morgan

“Maple Leaf Muscle” Petey Williams vs. “Big Poppa Pump” Scott Steiner

More matches will be announced on iMPACT tonight.

This Week in Pulse Wrestling

Widro chimes in with another issue of “The Widrospective”.
Phil Clark gives us a lesson that all roads do indeed lead to Houston.
Mark Allen gives you his weekly WWE spiel.
Vinny talks about the Rumble.
Finally, here is #3 in the Top 100, who is drawing more buzz than one of the recent posts.

This Weekend in Pulse Wrestling

This weekend, catch Raffi Shamir with your weekly dose of WWEdotcom Delivery.  On Sunday, be sure to catch your favorite writers predicting Against All Odds and sit down with PK for live coverage of the event.  I’ll be back in seven to discuss the fallout of the Pay-Per-View.  Enjoy your weekend!

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