Tonight is 2 hours to eliminate 18 people to give us the 36 singers whose fate will be determined by viewer phone calls instead of Simon’s whims. Randy, Paula, Kara and Simon sit on cushy red chairs in the American Idol judges’ mansion. It looks trashy to have this amazing house and a bunch of plastic chairs set up for the contestants. Why couldn’t they have classed up the holding room?
Now they have the kids getting ready for their big Ryan gives us the rundown of the schedule. The kids will go from the holding room, through the yard and a hallway so they can feel the
Anoop Desai is the first. He’s the new Clay Aiken without being Clay Aiken. The judges don’t tease him. They tell him he’s in Season 8. He’s peppy. His scarf flows with pride. He will be taking this semester off from UNC. Von Smith swears he knows this is why he is alive. What? He’s nervous as Paula asks him to sum up his shining moments and low lights. Why do they make him the fifth judge? Turns out his parents’ advice to blast his song was good. He’s also through. His mom gives him a big hug. They’re both in tears.
They are going to have the borderline contestants perform a sing off for a slot.
Is this Jim from The Office telling me about the Blackberry Storm or Ashton Kutcher? Not that I’m going to buy one of them either way. I hate feeling that my entire life can fit onto the memory card of my cellphone since 40% of my time, I can’t remember where I put mine.
Horror filmmaker Cody Sheldon arrives. Where has he been? He’s getting told to sing one more song. They also call Alex Wagner-Trugman, but he hasn’t come to the room. He chooses “Love Remains the Sang.” What a horrible song. And it’s not working for him. He’s got a little whelp going. They send him outside to wait while they bring in Alex. Cody tips off Alex to what’s going down in the room. Turns out the two are pals. Alex does that Elton John song about “Don’t let the sun go down on me.” This is completely unfair that Alex was allowed to be tipped off before he entered the room. What sort of weasels are controlling this test? The judges debate and call the duo back in. Randy puts on the stone face. Tells ‘em it was a tough decision and it’s Alex as their pick. Cody is gone. I guess some people weren’t liking it. The two guys look like they got racked by Ryan. They’re more depressed that it came down to the two of them fighting it out. It’s like a family having to choose which one of the Siamese twins will get the heart after the seperation.
Now it’s Adam Lambert. He’s happy at his risk involving Cher. I’m going to put money that his version will be used by drag queens across America this spring. Simon is giving a bunch of BS about not only how good he did in Hollywood, but do they think he can win and sell tons of records. “It’s not good news….it’s great news,” teases Simon. He still didn’t say if Adam made it through. Great news could be that he’s been selected to clean Simon’s pool.
We’re promised an emotional outcome from Tatiana Del Toro? Really? That girl is so mousy and reserved. I barely know that she was around during the Kodak Theatre action. This girls gets emotional getting change for a dollar. She ought to be studied for medical science purposes.
Taylor Vaifanua was a judge favorite in Salt Lake City, but she’s been losing words when singing. She changed her hairstyle to look like Vanity when she toned down. Randy doesn’t look comfortable, but he welcomes her to season 8. Guess she can keep her website going. Jasmine Murray, Arianna Asfar, Casey Carlson, Megan Corkery Mishavonna Henson and Stevie Wright get accepted in a montage.
Joanna Pacitti is coming up. She’s the industry pro who kept forgetting her lyrics for all the big performances. Will the Sun come out tomorrow for this almost-Annie? Kara seems frustrated that the plant didn’t step up. Simon claims Joanna will step up when somebody gives her a break. So being on several soundtracks and having a major label deal wasn’t enough of a break? Has anyone ever crashed and burned worse than this girl and been slid through without a major argument with the judges? Couldn’t they at least stage Paula giving her crap for dropping the ball? She didn’t even do a good job of jazz faking when she forgot her lines. This woman is marked for death because she is way too much of the judges’ golden child.
Seems like a dozen haven gone through in the first half hour. Now we get a creepy montage of strangers who appear marked for slaughter. T.K. Hash, Chris Chatman and a stranger named Reggi Beasley walkaway with their dreams crushed. “Look ma, that’s me getting sent home!” Kendall Beard has to worry about rejection. She bored them in Hollywood. She even got the “pitch is all over the place, dog” from Randy. Paula explains that her music choices were boring. Randy wants the verdict fast. “The answer isn’t great…it’s fantastic,” Paula says. And follows it up by saying she made it.
Looks like a vocal catfight. The husband and wife team get their story retold. The husband was cut. Now it’s up to the wife to be the breadwinner. Jenn Korbee sits down and gets told she has to sing right now. She does the Dixie Chicks’ “Not Ready to Make Nice.” The other girl is outside the room and gets tipped off that she’s going into the pit. Kristen McNamara’s warm up answer gets interrupted by Simon telling her to sing. She does “I Will Always Love You.” Bad song choice since she doesn’t take it anywhere. She’s told to step out, but needs to just keep on walking. “Do you want to keep the very attractive blonde girl or the other one,” Simon says. Way to make this all about looks versus talent. Kara tears into Simon for being such a jerk. But they have to take a commercial break before choosing. Is this Deal or No Deal? I like Jeopardy because they don’t leave us hanging when it comes to giving us an answer. Do they really think we’re going to just stare at the TV for five minutes of ads while waiting for the decision? We already know it’s going to take three minutes of recaps when the come back to give us the victor.
They come back and remind us of them singing for their life. Kara tells Jenn she picked the wrong song. They both did. Paula says Kristen has an identity crisis in the way she dresses. They thought she looked great in Hollywood, but they didn’t get her look. Kara says if they put the girls together, they’d have a perfect contestant. Without much tease, Simon blurts that Kristen got through and it was the wrong decision.
Alexis Grace has to give us a sob story about how she’ll have to abandon her baby to do this. Really? They don’t let babies live in Los Angeles? They give us a highlight of her singing since we haven’t seen her in a while. Randy welcomes her to season 8. I guess that baby will now how abandonment issues. Maybe Angelina Jolie can adopt that child.
Scott McIntyre is lead through the maze into the judges room. Kara takes the helm in patronizing this guy. It’s not like he doesn’t have vocal chords and uses a rubberband to hit those notes. She keeps saying he needs to work with his piano. They put him through. Lil Rounds thinks she did good enough to make it. She’s nervous as the judges try to act judge-like. Simon doesn’t think Hollywood week did well for her, but they’re putting her through.
I just realized I’m missing Lost for this. Guess I’ll watch it tomorrow online. Sometimes I prefer a show on a network’s website since they eliminate 10 minutes of commercials. Although how would I know that Taco Bell has a new dinner platter deal. Wonder how those taste with a KFC chicken bowl?
We’re an hour into the show and they’ve only kicked off 4 of the 18 that are marked for death. Felicia Barton gets told that the decision wasn’t unanimous. She’s booted. Ashely Hollister gets told that she didn’t make it by a 0-4 vote. Devon Baldwin gets asked how she think she did. Kara slices her throat. It’s a trio montage of these gals getting the walk of shame. Panic in the waiting room after three straight rejections. Really? Then why is Alexis Grace sitting next to Frankie Jordan? Shouldn’t she be gone from getting through? Turns out Frankie has company with Jesse Langseth. The two girls wait outside the room together. They guess they’re doing a sing off. So now they aren’t even trying to make it a surprise. Even with the heads up, she picks a really boring and dismal song. Simon declares it made it easy. Kara likes the song choice. Jesse Langseth does a louder song. Going second gives you way too much of an advantage. What happened to keeping people in a sound proof booth. Simon hates that song. He picks neither. Jesse gets the pick. Simon says, “If it’s any consolation, you have no chance of winning.” And tells Frankie that she probably will fail too. “There were better girls than you,” Simon reminds her on the way out. Does Simon work little kid parties? Why doesn’t he just urinate on her shoes?
Shera Lawrence says it’s emotional cause this might be the last time she’ll see everyone. Simon tells her that it is time for her to kiss these people goodbye. Derik Laver also gets tossed. Alison Iraheta arrives with her new bright red hair. Kara said her audition was rather rough. Kara does the long quiet and then says she’s made it. She’s got raw natural talent according to the judges.
Another time to learn about how Jamar Rogers comforted Danny Gokey after the death of his wife. But they do get to go alone. These guys aren’t getting forced to sing off. Danny thinks he did well under all the pressure. Which is pretty much the truth. Simon goes on about how singers have to be relevant. Really? The Jonas Brothers are relevant? Danny gets through with a cheer from the judges. Now we get the fate of Jamar. It’s not being cut to end pretty. Once more they decide to go to a commercial.
I almost forgot it’s Daytona 500 weekend. How short is NASCAR’s off-season? Feels like only a few weeks ago I was helping out on the MTV Cribs shoot at Kevin Harvick’s mansion. He’s the guy who drives the Shell car. He had a well equipped home theater next to a well stocked bar. You know at the end of the show when he tells you to go home? He was staring at me. I didn’t want to leave his man cave.
We’re back to see Jamar’s fate. Kara said that he took some risks. She doesn’t think they paid off for him. “You’re a good singer, but………………you’re not going to be here this year,” she says. The judges tell him to come back. At least Simon acted civil. Now we get the heartbreak of these two getting broken up. Danny is completely heartbroken at his pal’s fate. Are they playing a Kirsten Hersh track over this moment?
After Ricky Braddy,. Matt Giraud, Junot Joyner, Jorge Nunez and Brent Keith get machine gunned acceptance. But they slow down for Stephen Fowler. He flopped big on his finale number. Simon blames it all on nerves and pressure. Fowler talks about what he should have done. Simon says it’s too late now cause they made their mind up. He’s through.
Now Ryan shows off the Judges Mansion. It’s a serious space that has calmed down Nick Mitchell. But we get the montage of Norman Gentle. If this guy doesn’t get through, he should get hooked on Phonics so he can be on VH1’s Sober Rehab House. Paula isn’t sure what to do with Nick and his madness. Kara misses the schtick. He actually got through. Simon gives the guy a hug. I’m calling to keep this kid on the show. He’s beyond Sanjaya fun. Seeing him make it through makes missing Lost worthwhile.
Tatiana Del Toro is coming up after the break. Where did I leave my grandmother’s painkillers? Shame we didn’t see Bikini Girl make the long walk. How high of a heel would she choose?
Jackie Thon is ready to do more performances. She thinks she did well during Hollywood week. Shame we didn’t see much of her in the wake of Bikini Girl. Randy tries to extend it. Simon wants it sped up. He tells her to run out of the room to tell her parents. Simon probably has a reservation at STK before the reunion of GTR show.
Tatiana Del Toro is finally heading to the room. Let it be a cruel and painful death. She wears a piece of Paula’s jewelry. She starts making that high pitched shriek. Paula recognizes her jewelry. She tells how she wanted the ring that went with it, but they were sold out. Paula gives Tatiana the ring off her finger. Simon gets off a blast about Paula pluggig her line. Simon insists she know it wasn’t a unanimous choice. Randy fakes her out before admitting she made it. Seriously? She made it? Now we get to see her shriek all the way through the mansion. The dog population of Los Angeles is now deaf. Car alarms are going off all over the city.
Jackie Midkiff and Nathaniel “the Drama Queen “Marshall are pegged to do the sing off before leaving the holding room seats. Jackie does “When a Man Loves a Woman.” It’s not too bad. Kara demands to know why Jackie is in this position. Now we get the sob story from Nathaniel. Turns out his mom was a junky and he bounced around by his family. His grandmother is on the verge of tears saying how good the show will be for him. Simon is shocked by his bright red pants and headbands. He sings one of those big inspirational songs that leave me flat. Simon keeps harping on the kid’s outfit. Nathaniel wins so I guess his grandmother won’t have to worry about him.
They tease us with the welder and the oil rigger having a showdown. Simon doesn’t think either can make it. Really? Must everybody either be a stud or a Teletubby to make it in showbiz?
We’re now down to the final folks. Jeanine Vailes makes it. Kai Kalama goes through without his sob story repeated. Anne Marie Boskovich and Kris Allen fly into the 36 chamers.
The final two guys are left in the heavyweight catagory. They’ll be facing off. Matt Breitske and Micheal Sarver make the walk up the stairs. Why is Sarver having to sing for his life? This guy has been a solid performer. They let the lyric forgetters fly through. What BS. Matt gets up to sing about falling at your feet. Not too impressive. Simon doesn’t like the song. Michael enters and is told they’re kinda on the fence? Why? This guy sounds good. He looks good. He sings really smooth with a nice quiver moment that gets Paula and Kara to give a “wooooo.” Simon doesn’t think either can win the competition. Really? But what does winning matter when a loser just sang at the Super Bowl? Paula has good news that they are both in.
What? Did I miss a rejection? What the hell was the point of that exercise of non-action? If I go through the list, we only saw 13 people get tossed off the screen. I’m not nuts. Here’s the rejects: Cody Sheldon, TK Hash,Chris Chatman, Reggi Beasley, Jenn Korbee, Felicia Barton, Ashley Hollister, Devon Baldwin, Frankie Jordan, Shera Lawrence, Derik Lavers, Jamar Rogers and Jackie Midkiff. What happened to the missing 3 people that were cut? What did these people do to deserve to be completely wiped from the video? Would it have been too much to give them 10 seconds in a rejection montage? Way to just screw up the math so we can’t play along at home.
They give a montage of the earlier action including a “Anoop Dog” from Randy. We get the top 36 group photo. The give us the first 12 people who will compete next week. They’ve all been give more makeovers. Anoop, Gokey, Sarver and Tatiana will be part of the new group.
It’s all about Anoop and Nick from here.
